"i've been cold, i've been merciless
but the blood on my hands scares me to death"

JUNE 7TH, 1994

The events of the previous night had caused a stir among all the students at Hogwarts.

Although the vast majority of them had showed fear and, in a way, surprise, the first to start the taunts had been those in the snakes house. Draco, Crabbe and Goyle had been scaring the younger ones in the castle, with their hoods on and pretending to be holding their feet, and when the children were startled, then the trio would jump on them, growling and grimacing. All this before the absent gaze of Maia, who, along with Blaise, was the only one who had not laughed at those jokes.

Maia liked Professor Lupin very much. She believed that he was the best teacher she had had during those three long years, and the idea of ​​him leaving forever was not very attractive to her. He was the only one who had encouraged the students in such a way that attending his classes, more than an obligation, turned out to be an escape from reality. They were always entertaining, interesting, and Lupine didn't hand them much homework to do.

She knew she would always remember that particular class. They shared a turn with the Gryffindors, and there was a tense atmosphere for the game that would be played shortly. They all lined up, rotating between Slytherin and Gryffindor. The students ahead of her screamed Ridikkulus to chase away their boggarts. She could feel the nerves around her; nobody wanted them to see their greatest fear, although some of them were really stupid. Others, such as Death or Voldemort, made the students stare, eyes wide, wondering what those figures could be so realistic.

When Maia's turn came, the children behind her were peeking out to see what the famous Malfoy's greatest fear was. Those who had already made their own boggart disappear also swirled around Lupin and Maia. The professor frowned when the door to the small closet did not open. The blonde looked at him for a few seconds, wondering, waiting for the teacher to tell her what to do next.

Then the murmurs began. Each and every one of them had had to face a boggart, more or less horrifying, but there had been a changing figure for their turn. Meanwhile, Maia was still waiting for something to scare her deeply. Draco had had his own boggart, even Crabbe and Goyle, who seemed rock hard.

Lupin kicked the closet a few times, and since no creatures still appeared, he smiled a small smile.

"Looks like it's broken. I'll fix it for you to use it another class, alright? Let's continue. "

Remus Lupin's heart sank a little when he saw Maia's sad face. He wanted to encourage her and tell her that this could mean something good, that she was not afraid of anything and that she could consider herself a very brave girl. But what Lupin did not know was that the Malfoy did not want to be brave, she wanted to be like everyone else, even if that meant having a deep fear of something.

Maia remembered that Lupin continued that class as if nothing had happened, but her mood had completely changed. She felt stares on the back of her neck, almost as if they were whispering about her, but she decided not to give it more importance. It could have broke just when it was her turn, right?

The Malfoy rose from the Slytherin table under the watchful eye of some of her companions. Draco and his minions were still doing their thing, so they didn't even notice that the young blonde had left the Great Hall.

She knew perfectly well where she wanted to go and what she was supposed to be doing, because all through dinner she had only looked at Professor Lupin's empty seat. She reached her room, and her door was wide open, so she watched the scene until the young teacher noticed her.

"Merlin, you scared me." Lupin put a hand on his chest and smiled lightly. "You should be having dinner, what are you doing here?"

"You're leaving."

Remus clicked his tongue and sighed. Then he took a seat.

"I have to, miss Malfoy. It's not safe anymore for all of you. I could hurt you, and I would never forgive myself."

"I wouldn't mind, really." Maia said and Lupin laughed. "I'd rather you being here with all the consequences than you leaving. You're a good professor."

"I'm flattered, miss Malfoy, but it's sadly not up to you. Dumbledore and McGonagall have made sure I got the message. Parents won't want me here after everything, and I understand. It's been a good year, but it's time for me to go home."

Maia swallowed hard and looked at the ground. She felt terrible that her favorite teacher's biggest secret had come to light and there were people, like her brother, making fun of it.

"I'm sorry your privacy has been invaded like that. You've done so much for us, and the way we pay you is looking at you like you're a beast." Remus tilted his head. "I don't think you are. I think you're much better than any other normal human." Maia approached the professor, not even caring if the door was still open or not, and took a seat besides him, on his bed, and whispered. "I have a big secret, too. And as I know yours, I think it's fair if I tell you mine."

Remus smiled broadly. "And what would that be?"

"I like girls."

Lupin was at first taken aback, because he expected foolishness, but there she was, confessing to him her biggest secret.

"That's okay, Maia. You're fourteen, it's good you know yourself that good. I'm proud of you."

TODAY

For the past week, the Malfoy siblings and Eden had been practically inseparable. It was hard not to see them walking the corridors together, with Draco putting his arm around his sister's shoulders as Eden walked a few meters ahead of them, pretending to be bothered by loneliness, but turning around laughing when he managed to tear some smile from the Malfoys. Other times they swirled around the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, with the magic chessboard before them, and as Eden and Draco dueled for the thousandth time, Maia watched, hand resting on her chin, and said what each one had to do to defeat the other.

As Draco had predicted that night — which now seemed so far away — it had started snowing at Hogwarts. However, only a few could enjoy it, as much as it seemed so basic. The Carrows had been strict with their rules: no one, unless they authorized it, could leave the castle, not even the garden or the Black Lake to take a little breath. Maia had been sorry to see the faces of the young ones, but she had not been able to avoid using that privilege for her benefit.

They had taken advantage of that cold time to take a walk around Hogsmeade, buy some candy — they had practically had to beg to be let into the store — and have a hot drink. The Three Broomsticks remained closed indefinitely, so they had had to knock on the door of the Hog's Head Inn, but nobody decided to open them either, so they returned to the castle with their pockets full but their stomach empty.

It was moments like this that made Maia truly happy. The girl did not know if she had ever considered herself to be fully happy, she lived on moments and memories that made her smile, but she kept wondering if this was being happy. She looked at her brother, with the corners of his lips raised and eyes shining, and Eden, at his side, shaking the girl's hair and sticking out his tongue, and then she realized that the only thing that could make her happy were them .

Precisely for this reason, at times like this, she knew that she had to continue her mission no matter what happened, without fear of being discovered or worse, murdered.

That night they were all in a good mood. The trio, along with Blaise, Pansy, and Daphne, were dining animatedly at the Slytherin table. Maia could even swear that she saw Blaise smile, which happened very rarely. The other two girls struck up a conversation right away, ensuring that an incredible Christmas vacation awaited them. They went together, with the parents of the Greengrass, to ski in France, and who knew, Pansy added, they may meet some French boys and decide not to return.

"What about you? What will you be doing?" Daphne asked, with a fork in her mouth.

Draco looked at his sister, and she returned his gaze, her eyes darkening.

"We still don't know. With everything that's going on, I don't know if our father..." Draco trailed off, and then he cleared his throat. "He might want to stay here this year."

The others fell silent and their smiles gradually faded.

"I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean to." Daphne apologized, her mouth pouting.

Maia got apple pie to keep herself busy. Her appetite disappeared at times, but she couldn't let them know she was worried. Soon, she and her brother would return to the Malfoy Manor, and she despaired of not knowing the fate that lay in store for them there. She didn't want to wake up one morning and check that Voldemort was still standing in her living room, waiting for both siblings to have breakfast.

Little by little, the dialogue began again. It had been a bit tense at first, but Eden's natural charm had helped to lift tempers. It turned out that Pansy was more than happy with Amycus' Muggle Studies classes, recounting everything she had always believed. Blaise, on the other hand, disagreed with the Dark Arts classes, for, as Daphne added, they preferred to learn new spells rather than duel or torture people much weaker than themselves.

Maia propped her elbow on the table and pushed the now empty plate away. He looked around, and was a little disappointed to see that they were the only group that spoke with smiles on their faces. This was not Hogwarts; there had always been a stir, children running around, laughter in the background, teachers sitting at their table, talking to each other. And yet now there was none of that. She looked disinterestedly past her brother's shoulder, who was sitting in front of her, but again deep in conversation. At least he's not alone, she thought.

She would hate to think that her brother felt lonely, just as she had hated herself when Draco confessed his concerns about his situation. She loved her brother more than her own life, and all she wanted was to see him well. She could be lonely, empty, and disappointed in her life, but she would not allow that to happen to Draco.

A red-haired head caught her attention. Ginny Weasley was alone at the table, her arms crossed on the table and staring at her. Maia decided to hold her gaze, even though she didn't know why she was looking at her, if she had already made clear what she thought of her days ago. There was no point in dealing with the Gryffindor; she was never going to be able to leave the past behind and realize that she was not like the others.

Suddenly something hit her face and she instinctively closed her eyes. When she opened them she saw that the girl was laughing softly, and Maia thought that this was the first time she had seen her laugh. She was undoubtedly attractive, with her fiery, tousled red hair, her piercing eyes, and her eagerness to protect others rather than herself. Maia thought that maybe they were not so different at heart. She shot her a furtive glance again before looking at Eden.

"You were zoning out." Maia glared at him and rubbed her forehead, right where the cherry had hit her. "What are you looking at?" The boy whispered and turned around.

Maia followed her gaze to the boy's, and saw the Weasley look back at her table. She felt overwhelmed when the two Slytherins looked at her, so she looked away at her food. Eden turned to look at Maia and shook his head as he rolled her eyes.

Maia could not explain the feeling, but it gave her some satisfaction to see how the Gryffindor was looking for her. Also, now that she knew she was looking at her, she began to feel watched but flattered.

The Malfoy did not keep track of the nights she had been sleepless, but this was one more. Around her, Pansy and Daphne slept peacefully. They had returned to the room much later than her, but they closed their eyes immediately while she was still awake, albeit disguised. She sighed deeply and got up.

2:42 in the morning. The perfect time to carry out her plan.

She couldn't get what Ginny and company were looking for in the director's office out of her mind. She hadn't managed to get answers from the trio, but she hoped to find out for herself, no matter what it took. She knew she was taking too much risk - there might even really be nothing useful there - but the fact that the trio had even risked their lives to make it, made it worth trying to find out what they were looking for.

She put on comfortable clothes, knowing that in an emergency she would have to run. She tied her hair up in a ponytail and tied her shoelaces, trying not to make any noise. Luckily, her roommates slept soundly, so they also didn't hear how she closed the door.

She tiptoed to one of the boys' rooms. She poked her head in and looked at the three boys sleeping. Draco had the blanket up to his neck, so the only thing that stood out on the bed was his silver hair. She approached Eden's bed, which was sleeping peacefully, his features relaxed and his hair disheveled.

"Eden ..." she whispered. She tried to move him, but he complained a little and tried to turn around. However, Maia grabbed his arm and didn't let him. "It's time."

Hearing those words sparked the boy. He rubbed his eyes absently and got up. He got ready to get dressed but looked at Maia with a frown. "Leave."

"What? No. I have to make sure you don't go to bed again." Maia answered nonchalantly. "It's nothing I've never seen before."

"Dickhead." Eden muttered while putting his pants on.

They left the room moments later, trying, once again, not to make noise. There was complete silence in the Common Room, just as they had expected - and as they expected it to be in the rest of the school.

"Remind me the plan again, please. I feel like I'm still dreaming." Asked Eden, rubbing his eyes.

"You better be awake. I go in, you stay outside and look out. I find something, I take it and we leave. I don't find anything, we leave. They catch us, we're dead. Have I made myself clear?" Maia frowned when she realized she's sounded like her father. Nonetheless, Eden nodded.

"Don't you worry, eh? They're asleep. They think no one is going to have the guts to wander the castle at night, let alone enter Dumbledore's old office. Everyone knows about what they did."

Maia nodded and swallowed imperceptibly. Merlin knew what could have happened if she hadn't suddenly appeared. They reached the top floor not long after, after watching every corner and making sure every hallway on that floor was empty.

"There's no password anymore. I doubt they are smart enough to remember things like lemon sorbet." Eden laughed a bit, wanting Maia to feel a little less worried.

However, that did not work. Maia was a person who cared a lot about the things that mattered to her, and until she was clear that she could do a thing, she didn't do it. She cared about every detail and worked out a perfect plan so that no one could interrupt her. Eden knew that Maia would never give up trying to protect her brother's life, and although this seemed extremely reckless, it also honored and filled her with courage.

"So, to be clear. We're looking for something important, right? A Hogwarts — Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin — object. Either the diadem, the locket or the cup. I did some research to find out what we were looking for. Look, I've drawn them for you." Eden pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket, somewhat crumpled, but when she handed it to Maia, she opened her mouth.

"These are actually good. I didn't know you could draw so well."

Eden looked at her, doubtful. "There are things about me you don't know."

But Maia wasn't even paying attention to him right now. She was looking intently at the drawing. She then kept the paper in her pocket and went upstairs.

To say she was nervous was an understatement. She knew that both she and Eden risked so much in carrying out that skirmish, but while Eden could betray her and run as soon as he saw a figure appear around the corner, she was just now blind and deaf, guided only by Eden's words. If the plan went wrong and they found out what she was doing, she could be dead.

Dumbledore's office had not changed much. There were still shelves full of books, the portraits of the old directors who, luckily, were sleeping. His desk was intact, but now with Carrow documents or Merlin knows what. The moon lit her face through the window, and she took advantage of the scant light that was provided to rummage through drawers and open cabinets. She only stumbled upon student records, each year older than the previous, but no luck with foreign objects.

She looked around and thought about where Dumbledore could hide something valuable. She ran her hands over her cheeks, trying not to lose her cool. She entered the small room away from the office, but discovered only the support where Fawkes, Dumbledore's phoenix, always prostrated itself. Now it was empty.

After a few minutes she had already opened all the drawers she had found, there had even been some that she had to conjure in order to open them, but they were either empty or did not contain anything relevant. She began to lose patience.

She couldn't believe that the trio of friends had risked so much for nothing. She felt angry with them for having wasted her time, but more with herself for being fooled by it. Empty-handed, she descended the spiral stairs, careful not to make any noise or to attract anyone's attention.

Eden was leaning against the wall, just in front of the principal's office. He was standing with his arms folded and his head down, as if he wasn't paying attention right now. Maia allowed herself to glare at him.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Maia whispered between shouts.

"What? No one is here, right?" Eden muttered. Then he shrugged. That's what I thought. What did you find?"

"Nothing!" Maia raised her voice this time. She realized her mistake and lowered it. "I looked for everywhere. There's nothing in there, Eden."

The boy cursed under his breath and almost launched the flashlight in his hand.

"Then we better get going. We'll look again elsewhere, okay?" He tried to calm her, caressing her arm. "Do you reckon there's something here?"

Maia sighed and looked at him. "I thought so. But now I'm not sure anymore. The only thing I'm sure about is that there's nothing in their bedrooms. He's not that stupid to have kept something really valuable to him in front of anyone, no. The Carrows don't have it, doesn't make any sense. I don't think he trusts them enough to give them something so powerful. It's got to be where no one has ever looked for before, or in the hands of someone he trusts deeply."

"Or both" Eden said. "You said there's at least three of them we can know of. The snake is always with him. Then, the other three have to be scattered. He can't have put them all in the same place. So, they have to be where no one has looked and safe in the hands of someone who would never betray him."

It hit Maia like a truck.

"Oh my god. It's Bellatrix. She's never shown a great admiration. She has to be guarding something. " Maia put a hand on her forehead, as if she was tired. "I don't know how I didn't realize before."

"Well, you have to find out. Do you think it's at her house?"

"No, she lives with us now and she would never let that object unprotected."

Eden shrugged. "Then you'll have to ask her."

"Are you crazy? She can never know I asked something like this. Besides, as if she would ever tell me."

"There has to be someone who knows. You know, in case anything happened to her."

It was the second time in a row the realization came.

"My mother. She has to know."

Eden looked at her like she was crazy. "You think Narcissa is going to tell you? I've met her. So, mum, do you know by chance where Bellatrix keeps a horcrux? Yeah, no big deal."

Maia smirked darkly.

"She will. She owes me."