In which Tommy and Tubbo are faced with how human they are.

      Or, Wilbur tries to catch on to ledges as he falls.

"Somethings missing....... somethings missing, something's missing...." 

Wilbur paced, muttering to himself. "Missing, missing, missing." 

"But I'm happy!" Wilbur stopped, waiting to feel a smile come to his face. But he didn't feel anything. 

He was just numb. 

"I'm not happy...." 

His stomach spiraled down again, a cloud settling over his mind. 

"But I will be once this is over."

Wilbur looked at his reflection in the cool, small water pool in the ravine. It wavered back at him, a deranged skeleton. He didn't recognize it. Bags dug under his eyes, sinking in. 

"I just want it to be over." He reached out shakily, sending ripples across the surface. He remembered moonlight shimmering, and it flashed in his mind like a little light. 

But then it vanished again, the light overtaken by the dark, swamped and extinguished. 

"Please," He felt that pit in his stomach again, and it hurt, and he wanted to cry. "Just let it be over." 

Tommy took a deep breath, trying to calm his fast-beating heart as he stepped timidly into sight. 

"Wilbur?" 

"Tommy?" 

Wilbur looked up from his spot, a forced grin spreading across his face. "Have you finally decided to come home?" 

"I-" Tommy's eyes darted around on Wilbur's face, trying to find something, anything that was still there. 

He wanted to believe it wasn't all gone. 

Just a sliver, a sliver of the brown eyes that protected him and kept him safe were still there, there had to be. 

There had to be. 

"I'm not insane, Tommy." 

"Please, you have to listen to me." Tommy shook a little as Wilbur brought him into a hug, crushing him. 

He wanted to believe it made him feel better like it always had. 

But something about it felt poisonous, like a snake about to strike. 

"We've been through this together, Tommy. You and me. You and me against the world, Tommy." 

"I know." Tommy pushed his head into his chest, hugging him back comfortingly. 

He sounded so broken and desperate. 

Maybe he could still fix him. 

"I'm with you, Wilbur." Tommy closed his eyes, trying to let himself go, to not be afraid. To pretend he was safe. 

But it still felt like a trap. 

"Really?" 

Tommy's bones felt violated. "Yes...."

Wilbur pulled away, ecstatic. "HERE'S THE PLAN TOMMYINNIT!"

Wilbur grinned, rapidly explaining his plan that he had worked so hard on to perfect. "Tubbo's going to say a code phrase, 'Let the Festival begin,' he's going to run the fuck away-" 

"Tubbo's with us? Tubbo wants to do this?" Tommy's voice turned insistent and firm. This was one thing he would not bend to. "Because I'm not doing anything that he doesn't want to do." 

Wilbur's face fell a little. "Yes, yes of course." 

"Are you completely sure he's going to be safe?" 

Wilbur turned away, not responding. 

"We're ending this today, Tommy." 

------------------------

Tommy clutched his sword close to his chest, his knees tucked in the small crevice of the white house, the dusty yellow window next to him and Wilbur. His heart beat in his throat loudly, and he tried to keep it down. 

Schlatt's booming voice echoed through the brightly colored land, filled to the brim with bright lights and happiness. 

Tubbo's stomach filled with black vile as he tried to stand up straight near Schlatt. He caught Tommy's eye in the blurry window, and Tommy winked at him mischeviously, trying to make him feel safer. He smiled softly back, easing a bit. 

Wilbur looked out the small window, smudges of people jostling below. Wilbur rubbed the window, the dust coming off like a whisper on his fingertips. He looked down. 

People smiled below him. A flash of black and blonde hair. 

Wilbur's heart dropped to his stomach. 

He placed his hand on the glass, looking at NIki. 

Oh god. 

It was Niki. 

His friend. 

His best friend. 

And she was smiling. Or at least, trying to. 

What am I doing?

Wilbur's eyes widened, and everything suddenly became jumbled again. 

I-I don't want to hurt her 

His face flashed back in the window, casting a shadow over her. 

But you're already hurting her 

Oh god...

He pushed away from the window, cradling his head in his hands. 

I don't know what to do. 

Lines traced into his rough palms, marked and jagged. 

"I'm so confused...." 

Angel

Niki floated above, she was above, she deserved above. 

They were walking over to a dance floor now, dancing. 

Happy. 

"Tommy." 

"Wilbur, this isn't right-" 

"I know." Wilbur sighed, looking out the window again. "I'm having second thoughts." 

"I- I don't think I want to do this." 

"DON'T! DON'T!" Tommy burst out, finally finding something, a breakthrough. "We don't have to do this tonight, we can wait. We can take it back." 

Wilbur looked up at him with a tired and strained look, holding his head. "Please, Wilbur. We can take it back. We can wait for a bit." 

As long as I stay with you, I'll be alright 

"But- but if I don't do it now, when will I do it?" The voices pulsed in his head again. "When will it end then, Tommy?" 

"Wilbur, it doesn't have to end!" Tommy looked out the window, at Tubbo. He was bouncing around, shooting fireworks happily into the night sky. He giggled, just like he used to as the beautiful colors exploded above him.

"Look at him." Tommy smiled. "He's so happy. Don't you want him to be happy?" 

But why is he happy and I'm not? 

"I- What if this is the only chance I get?" 

No one deserves to be this happy. 

"Look at them." Ponk twirled Niki around. "Look at them dancing. They're dancing. They're happy. I want to be dancing." 

Wilbur sat down on the cold stone roof, his hands on his head. The night sky cast a fog over them. "I want to be happy." 

"I know...." Tommy placed a hand on his shoulder. "Me too." 

"Tommy?" 

Tubbo hoisted himself on top of the roof, his eyes searching in the moonlight. "My speech is in 20 minutes." 

Wilbur sat up suddenly, much to Tommy's surprise. "Tubbo." 

"Yes?" 

Wilbur tilted his head, pupils black into his eyes in the darkness. "Are you happier?" 

"W-what do you mean?" Tubbo rubbed his arm, standing stiff in his suit. 

"Are you happier under Schlatt?" Wilbur's voice seemed quieter, less insane. But at the same time, it seemed more dangerous. "And talk to me like a friend, Tubbo. Not like a spy. Like a friend." 

"But I- I always speak to you like a friend." Tubbo gulped, but he knew that it was true. He couldn't speak after Schlatt. He'd just become so used to it. But he didn't think anyone had seen through. 

He liked quiet. That's why he liked Tommy. Because Tommy could be loud.

And he could be quiet. 

And not worry that everything spilling out of his mouth was for someone else. 

"Well I-I liked it better when it was under you guys. L'Manburg." Tubbo looked around nervously, trying not to cause conflict. He wasn't used to this, all eyes on him. Even Tommy looked at him, listening. 

"Do you think Schlatt can be stopped?" 

"Well I-" Tubbo stepped back, suddenly anxious at all the questions. Anxious at the silence as he talked. He didn't want to make Wilbur angry. "Schlatt isn't one to stop. He keeps going when he's knocked down." 

"Do you think we should blow it up, Tubbo?" Tommy looked at him with pleadingly.  

"Well, no-" Tubbo rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. 

"You told me that you think we should!" Wilbur threw his hands up, and Tubbo flinched. 

Tommy interjected, stepping in front of him. "No, Tubbo said that-" 

"GODDAMMIT TUBBO!" Wilbur's eyes filled with rage. "You're such a yesman. Such a people pleaser. You agree with anyone, don't you?" 

The words flung out, stinging against Tubbo's brain. He hated when he made other people angry, but he knew that it was true, and that's why it hurt even more. To be honest, he didn't want to be quiet. But it was so much harder when everyone had everything to say, and all you wanted to do was be happy, and speak with actions and just laugh. 

But he learned a long time ago that people just didn't want to play with bees anymore. 

He learned that people get hurt, and you had to lie. 

And to lie, you need to be quiet.  

Tommy's eyes darkened, pushing Tubbo back. "He is not a yesman-" 

"Fucking hell, Tubbo, think for yourself!" 

The roof quieted as they both stared at Tubbo expectantly, waiting for him to say something. Sweat pooled into the palms of his hands, and blush creeped to his cheeks. Embarrassment blotched across his mind. 

He didn't like this. He didn't like people getting angry at him. 

He just wanted people to be happy. 

Why couldn't they be happy? 

But they were fighting again, and not even with the enemy this time. 

"I-I think have to go make my speech now." 

Tubbo turned to go away, but Tommy caught his wrist softly. "Hey." 

"Yeah?" Tommy looked at his darting brown eyes, waiting for them to calm down. 

"Be safe." Tubbo's heart still beat fast, and Tommy grabbed his shoulders. 

"Listen. Look at me." Tubbo suddenly felt like he was going to cry. He just felt so embarrased, and he didn't know why. He looked at Tommy. 

"You're going to do great." 

Tubbo's heart calmed and he gave him a small smile, nodding. Tommy smirked, saluting him, and his heart filled with happy things as he rushed to the ladder. 

Just as he was about to go down, Wilbur grabbed him roughly, stopping him in his tracks. His breath caught in his throat as Wilbur leaned down to whisper something. 

"I know what you're doing. Now you have to decide." Tubbo tried to squirm away, but Wilbur kept him still. "You say the code word, and I detonate it. You don't, and this will never end. Be a good yesman. Agree with me. Allow me to blow it up, Tubbo." 

Wilbur released his grip, and Tubbo stumbled, racing away as fast as he could. Wilbur's whispers followed him down. 

"It's your decision this time, Tubbo." 

--------------------

Tubbo's knees shook as he stepped up to the microphone, nervousness coming back like a storm. 

"What the fuck did you say to him?" Tommy whispered loudly to Wilbur as they crouched down low to the roof, watching. 

"I said for him to choose." Tubbo didn't reach the tall microphone, dwarfed by the huge stand and the suit two sizes too big. "Whether to detonate or not. He needs to choose. He needs to think for himself." 

"What THE FUCK!" Tommy's voice rose as his fists clenched in anger pinpointed at WIlbur. 

"You can't just make him choose like that! Tubbo isn't just someone you can push around to do what you want! He's not a yesman, he's so much more than that-" 

Wilbur clapped a hand over Tommy's mouth, silencing him. "The festival's starting. You're going to get us caught." 

Tommy rolled his eyes in disgust, but he fell silent. He looked at Tubbo, trying to will confidence into him. 

It seemed to work, because Tubbo took a deep breath, looking over the crowd. 

This was it. Wilbur held his breath as he watched, ready to leave at any second, to end it. 

He wondered if Phil would be proud of him. 

"Hello." 

Tubbo's voice was tiny, the mic blaring feedback back at him, hurting everyone's ears. 

"TUBBO!" 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry sir." Tubbo's confidence vanished as he tried deperately to fix the mic, finally getting it under control. 

"Geez, Tubbo, why do you fuck shit up so much." 

Schlatt tutted with disappointment as Tubbo fixed the stand, his skin turning red with embarrasment again as all eyes seemed to laugh at him, taunt him with anger. 

"THIS IS AN EMBARRASMENT!" 

Shouts came from the ground, flicking like fire against his cheeks and his brain. 

"WHO PUT HIM IN CHARGE?"

Heat flashed across his body and he just wanted to hide in a hole, and never come out, and never get out.  

All eyes were on him, the lights shining to bright, the lights exposing him. He was so exposed. 

He met Tommy's eyes in panic. 

Tommy just nodded. 

And that was enough. 

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath again. 

"Hello, everyone." 

His voice echoed across Manburg, and he stepped away tentatively, before taking another huge breath. 

"A wise man once told me that L'manburg was like a lettuce." 

Tubbo glanced at Schlatt, who was staring at him approvingly, nodding along. There was a dangerous glint in his eye though. 

Why was there a dangerous glint? 

"There are so many layers of tasty and healthy goodness." 

He looked out over the crowd, trying to push down the premontion that something, something wasn't right. He gripped the microphone stand tighter, speaking loud for everyone to hear. 

He never seemed to speak about anything he wanted, though. 

"And once you wash all the caterpillars and worms of the surface," 

His bee wiggled in his shirt pocket, and he quietly pushed it down, begging it to be silent. 

Schlatt didn't like bugs in Manburg. 

"It's a pretty goddamn good meal." 

Cheers erupted from all sides, and he tried to smile the best he could. 

"Schlatt has washed off all the insects from our great nation." 

It hurt him to feel the lies spouting out of his mouth, words he didn't actually mean. 

But maybe he could pretend that he was doing what was best for his country. 

Tubbo liked playing make-believe. 

"And with that he's allowed the goodness and tastiness to shine through." 

Tommy and him, heroes on a great adventure, princes in a castle. 

Tubbo liked playing make-believe. 

Because he was always the hero. 

"Ladies and gentlemen I'd like you to look around at what we've built today." 

Tubbo liked playing make-believe because he knew that no matter what

He would always do the right thing. 

Because it was a story. 

And he got to choose what was right and what was wrong. 

"Look at each other." 

Tubbo liked playing make-believe. 

Becuase there would always be a happy ending. 

"All of this thanks to the democracy and leadership of Mr. Jschlatt." 

The lights made the crowd seem like a giant wave, the cheers too loud. The clapping was thunderous in his ears, even though there were only a few that were truly clapping. 

Showy lights make everything seem louder. 

And then the claps were replaced with laughter, slow laughter from his left. It teetered, slowly fading into nothingness as Schlatt looked at him, shaking his head. 

"Is that it then?" Schlatt grinned at him, checking his watch. 

"Y-yes." 

Tubbo liked playing make-believe because he always knew how the story was going to go.

Everything was planned out in a little line. 

"Well, then." The pit in his stomach deepened as Schlatt stood up, making his way towards him. 

"T-that's it. I- uh-" 

The lights made everything loud, even his heart beat. It thumped in his ears. 

He just wanted a plan. 

He couldn't choose. 

All he wanted was a story, a happy ending, a plan. 

"L-let the festival begin!" 

Hearts beat loud in chests, in his chest. But it felt like he could hear everyone else's too, they were so loud. 

He could hear Wilbur's fast beating heart as he raced off the roof. 

Thump. 

He could hear Schlatt's heart, loud and slow, beating as he walked over to him, concrete blocks in hand. 

Thump. 

"Sch- Schlatt what are you doing?" 

The walls surrounded him, caving in. 

Thump. 

"W-what's happening?" 

The walls caved in, clouding his brain. 

Thump, thump, thump. 

"Schlatt, I can't get out- I can't get out-" 

Chills and goosebumps ran through his body as his heart raced like a cornered animal. 

Thump, thump, thump, thump. 

"Tubbo, I'll cut to the fucking chase." 

And then the thumping nearly stopped as his breath caught in his throat, his hands curling into the side of the bright yellow wall, shadows casting over his face. 

Bright colors swirled outside the box, pinks and blues and reds. Faces looked up at him. 

The lights were loud. 

They were even louder as they echoed around the box. 

"Sch- Schlatt I cant get out-" 

Thump. 

"I see what you've been doing, Tubbo." 

The concrete filled his lungs, suffocating him as he tried to claw at the walls. 

"I sees it with my own two FUCKING EYES what you've been doing!" 

Thump. 

Schlatt's manic voice filled his head, angrier than he had ever been. 

"I-I don't know-" 

The static of the hearts, of the heart lines blared in his head. His legs shook, about to give out. 

Thump. 

"YOU'VE BEEN CONSPIRING WITH THE TYRANTS THAT WE KICKED OUT OF THIS COUNTRY!" 

Tubbo was exposed. 

He felt like a rat, cornered. 

All his lies coming to the surface like he always knew they would, he hated all of them, all of them. 

Thump. 

"Do you know what happens to traitors, Tubbo?" 

Tubbo voice came out barely a whisper, barely enough to muster. "W-what?" 

"Nothing good." 

Thump. 

"Hey, Technoblade, could you come up here for a second?" 

And Tubbo could feel Tommy's heart too, as it beat faster and faster, a slow breath as he drew back his crossbow to protect him

He could hear Wilbur's slower heart, surprisingly calm, next to him, holding him back. 

"I'd like to send a message." 

Thump. 

Tubbo looked up, meeting Wilbur's eyes. 

The brown eyes that he used to trust with his life. Who he would follow to the ends of the earth because it was their nation, their pride. 

And when those brown eyes mouthed to him, he listened. 

"We like to send messages, don't we?" 

He won't hurt you. 

He listened. 

He was so scared. And embarrased. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes from the lights, from the hot fire boiling up to his throat. 

But he listened. 

Thump. 

Oh, but he could feel Techno's heart too, fast and rough as he stepped up to the podium. 

It was just as scared as his. 

It was scared of what it could do, though. 

Not what could not be done. 

"W-what do you want from me, Mr. President?" 

Thump. 

"Technoblade." 

"Yes?" 

Techno had once heard a story, a story from Phil. 

Thump. 

Phil told him a story about a little boy with pink hair. 

Thump. 

A little boy with pink hair that could feel the hearts beating in people's chests. 

Thump.

The little boy wasn't fascinated with the heart, but with the blood that ran through it. 

Thump. 

But it wasn't his fault, that's what Phil said. 

It was the voices that wanted to see the blood flow. 

Thump. 

Phil had said the little boy couldn't help it, that it wasn't his fault. But the voices whispered for blood. 

So that's why Phil had led the boy away from other beating hearts. 

Thump. 

Phil had said it wasn't his fault, that the little boy had gotten scared, and that it had come out. 

Thump. 

But if it wasn't his fault, why did he still want to see the blood? 

Why did he want to let go and let the voices whisper, whisper, whisper and take. 

"I want you to kill him." 

"I-" 

Tubbo's heart beat faster in his chest, blood pumping. 

Thump. 

Techno could feel the blood pumping everywhere. 

Everyone's chests thumped with hearts as screams erupted from their mouths, telling him to stop, to not do it. 

But the voices told him to go on. 

Thump. 

"Technoblade, we're running on a tight schedule." 

Yes, the lights flashed red. And every other which way, but Techno could only see red. 

And voices were drowned out by hearts as his crossbow sat loaded in his hand. 

He couldn't think anything. 

Thump, thump. 

Just whispers, and calls. 

Calls for blood, the one thing he could rely on. 

Blood would always be there, waiting. 

Thump, thump. 

In the hearts. 

"T-Tubbo I-I'll try to make this as colorful and painless as possible." 

"W- What-" Tubbo's heart beat and beat faster, jumping out of his chest. His eyes darted around, trying to find something, anything to hang on to as the world spun with yellow, fireworks in Techno's bow. 

His eyes caught bright blue ones, and Tommy stared at him, heart becoming faster. He jolted forward, ready to strike, but something held him back. 

Thump. 

"He's going to be fine. Techno won't hurt him." 

Wilbur's whispers floated into his ear as he looked at Tubbo, hearts matching. 

Thump. 

Tommy searched into Tubbo's brown eyes, panicked and afraid, but trying to find calm. 

Tommy's eyes were a calming blue. 

Please keep your heart beating. 

Thump. 

Techno's hands shook as whispers laid on top of him, bow raising. 

Tubbo didn't look at him. 

He looked at the calming, crystal clear blue. 

Tommy tried to calm his heart, to calm its beating. 

I promise I'll keep your heart beating. 

Thump. 

Tubbo's face shook with a slight smile as he suddenly remembered a joke long ago Tommy had made. 

How silly of him to remember it now. 

He felt the yellow scrap of a flower in his hands, his bee buzzing against his beating heart. 

Tommy's blue reassured him. 

My heart will keep beating. 

Thump. 

He's going to be alright, he's going to be alright, Techno wouldn't hurt him. 

Our hearts will keep beating together. 

Tommy held his breath. 

Techno's hand closed around the trigger. 

Thump. 

And then the facade dropped, and Tubbo's heart dropped. Tommy watched his brown eyes widen. 

Tommy. 

Thump. 

But what if it stops?

Too late. 

Heartstrings pulled the trigger. 

--------------------------

Heheehehehe I promisee more angst in the next one! Sorry for taking a long time, finals week :\. 

Love you all! <3

See ya next chapter!