"𝚍𝚛𝚞𝚐𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚏
𝚒𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚗𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝
***
𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚖 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚖𝚎"

---

You should know I'm not the girl you think I am. I'm maybe just a shell of her, if anything.

***

There's a blazing fire tearing open my skull and I can't scream. There's a cold knife slicing open my abdomen and I can't move. But my chest feels empty, like there's a gaping hole, and I feel cold.

I'm sinking deeper and deeper into the bottomless abyss, and the black waves of darkness close over my head drowning my sobs.

And the agonising, excrutiating, gut-wrenching pain doesn't stop.

***

"Her heart rate is spiking," an urgent voice screams, "Get the doctor."

I want to rip my ears off because the sound is louder than anything I've ever heard before. It amplifies the throbbing in my head, and I'm begging for it to stop. I only sink further down.

***

A warm hand touches my burning skin and I almost cry in relief. But I can't.

I'm not alone.

I hear words, but they don't make sense. I don't understand.

"I'm so sorry, T. God, please."

Who is that? Are they hurting as much as I am?

***

"Teagan, sweetie, where are you?" a broken man sobs, "Wake up, baby."

There's a warmth coiling in my stomach and I want to reach out to comfort the sad stranger. But my limbs are dead weight.

***

"What have I done? I should've listened T. I never do, do I?"

She sounds shattered, but regardless, her voice is the only one I want to hear.

But why?

"Please forgive me, sister. I've always loved you more."

I never hear it again. This time, I think I do cry. My cheeks feel wet.

***

"I need the family to sign the papers." the voice says. This time, I'm sure it belongs to a stranger. It sounds too cold, too distant. I don't like it. "We need to cut life support."

---

A MONTH AGO

The girl enters the deafening room.

Everything is a bit too much. The music is too loud. The lights are too bright. The smell in unbelievably strong. But she doesn't say anything, in fear of upsetting the bubbly, smiling girl at her arm.

"Teagan!" she exclaims, and the girl almost flinches at the sound, "You likey?"

Teagan swallows the dull throb in her head, and smiles weakly. "Yeah, Astrid, it's great." But it isn't.

Blinding LED lights flash erratically in between the thrashing bodies, and she catches a glimpse of a lavatory sign. "Hey, I'm going to go to the restroom quick, okay? I think I drank too much water at dinner," she lies, and laughs lightly to convince her sister.

"Want me to come with?" Astrid asks.

But after sneaking a glance between her sister and her awaiting friends, Teagan decides she'll be alright. "No way, do I look like I need a babysitter? Go to your gang... I think Niko is about to kill himself, look!"

As her twin spins around to see the already drunk Niko about to launch off the bar into the crowd, Teagan makes her quick exit. After squirming past heavy bodies and ducking beneath swaying limbs, she arrives at the sizable cue, that she figures she can wait out. As she waits, a hand 'accidentally' grabs her ass and she glares fiercely at the culprit, who simply smirks. Then, she shoves him back into his group of intoxicated friends and his amusement disappears. "Fucking psycho," she hears as he ambles away. Impatient, she clasps her hands together and stares into space until two figures ahead of her catch her attention.

"Ugh, that Astrid bitch!" a familiar screechy voice whines.

Her ears perk up at the mention of her sister.

"I know, Lex, but it's fine. She's not gonna be a problem after the entire Academy finds out," the other girl says.

"I know, Becks. Like, yuck, what a skank. Sam was right to dump her ugly ass," Alexandra says.

Teagan's heart races in her chest. She forgets the thud behind her eyes and the ache in her abdomen. What matters now is her sister.

The girls in the cue don't recognise her in the dim lighting of the restroom hallway. They carry on.

"It was inevitable, Lex. I mean, the boys had to show her her place, after she toys with them like that. Who the fuck does she think she is?"

"OMG, Becks, haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"Sam thinks she proper liked him and stuff. Apparently, before he fucked her, she was still a virgin. That's what he's telling all the guys. Dylan told me."

Teagan's stomach turns. Is this true? And Astrid didn't tell her...?

"What?" the girl squeals, excitement increasing the pitch of her tone. "No way, that bitch didn't tell us! Wait- that means Sam won the bet... that boy is gonna be hella rich by tomorrow, babes. I call dibs."

"Wait... that's not fair, Becks. I wanted him-"

Head spinning madly and rage coursing through her veins, Teagan retraces her steps to find her twin dancing with another guy, like nothing happened.

She feels guilt that she didn't notice her sister's pain, which Astrid hid so well. But more than that, she's furious that she wasn't the first one who found out. With the rumours of the Academy circulating faster than they began, she was likely to be the 100th person who knew.

Teagan grabs Astrid's wrist and hauls her away to a dark corner.

Too surprised to struggle, Astrid looks at her twin in bewilderment and asks, "What the hell, Teagan? Is something wrong?"

"Did you or did you not fuck Samuel Finch or not?"

The younger Wilde sister turns sheet-white and stammers an answer, "U-um, what are you talking about Teagan? Are you drunk?"

"Cut your crap Astrid? When the hell were you going to tell me that your virginity was on auctions? And when the hell were you going to tell me you lost it to a sick douchebag without even- asking me?" Teagan's voice breaks at the end. The waves of betrayal, fury and helplessness batter her throbbing head, and tears are swimming in her tired, bloodshot eyes.

Astrid starts to cry. "I-I was going to-"

"No! Don't fucking lie to me. I tell you everything. Every little detail about my messed up life and you don't even care to do the same?" Why did Astrid look blurry? "Astrid, I'm angry but I'm also hurt. I trusted you.."

She's quiet when she replies. "Teagan, I'm sorry."

"Sorry's not going to cut it this time, Astrid. Some sister you are-"

"JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT YOU? HUH? IT'S NOT FAIR! DAD'S EITHER AT WORK OR WITH YOU. HE'S FORGOTTEN THAT HE HAS TWO DAUGHTERS! AND NOW YOU'RE HERE ACTING LIKE YOU GIVE TWO SHITS, WHEN YOU JUST WANT A FUCKING DISTRACTION FROM YOUR OWN FUCKING LIFE" she screams.

Teagan freezes, but the people around her continue to dance like her world didn't suddenly shatter into irreparable little fragments.

"This is my mistake, not yours. My problem, not yours. You are not entitled to my life, Teagan. And if you don't want yours, then you might as well die now because I'm done giving a fuck."

And as Astrid turns away, the music settle back in, pounding in her ears, shredding her ear drums. Erratic beams of light burn through her eyes to the head, igniting an excruciating, inextinguishable fire in the depths of her skull. For a second, the world blurs into smears of color and blackness. Near but yet so far, a flash of blonde reenters her line of vision. And the her world collapses - quite literally.

---

𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 ℍ𝕖𝕣 𝔾𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕤 ℂ𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕝𝕖 ❤︎
𝚍𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎, 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎 ☻︎

xoxo
Aviana