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10. Sad Little Shadows

Octavia

I glance over at the clock by my bed. My body feels tired and achy but my mind won't turn off. 5:18am. Second year Specialists have morning workouts 7 till 7.45. Something about fitting in a morning run and full body HIIT workout before Breakfast. Which is at 7.30-8.30 so there's no food available in the cafeteria right now and I haven't stocked the kitchen yet.

I'll have to drive into the village or put an order in through school. My mind drifts back to yesterday. The lesson with Dowling.

"Stella, Octavia, please take a seat." Dowling indicates to the sitting area in the back of her room. There's a coffee table surrounded by plush armchairs and a sofa. "Your mother tells me you have more control over your magic when you're both together so for now you'll share a lesson."

I glance over at Stella seeing her smile gratefully at Dowling. "My sister and I have basic control of our magic. We can create simple things and have the knowledge and skill to do things well past third year students." Dowling raises her brow in surprise.

She clearly thinks Queen Luna has been filling you both with dreams of grandeur.

So little faith she has

"The problem is control and consistency." My sister finishes, looking at Dowling. Dowling pauses.

"Consistency?"

"What my sister is trying to say." I cut in, drawing Dowling's attention to me. "One day we could be creating illusions, wielding our magic in fights and maintaining it healthily. Then the next we can barely get a spark. Our magic is far too intertwined with our emotions that it picks up on subtleties we aren't aware of."

I glance at the clock again - 5:23am. I let out a sigh.

Please get up. Little shadows begs. You're driving us insane.

Might as well get a head start on school work or the morning workout. Darkling adds on.

I stand looking around my room for my bags. I might as well finish unpacking. I work as efficiently as I can. Folding and hanging clothes. Making the bed. Arranging photos and trinkets. I move to the living room to add in little touches of home. It was practically filled already with the things I like - no doubt thanks to Stella's interior design skills and planning.

I placed down a few candles, photos of Stella and I, photos from Britain, one of Drea and I and one of Bea and I when we were training. My heart clenches. Helios I miss her. She was my other half. I'll get her back. That's what I'm here for after all. I just need to learn enough to get her back. Then we'll start our new lives.

"This is the beginning of your new lives here." Dowling says. She's trying to encourage Stella and I to be comfortable with our magic but I just can't bring myself to do it. This isn't the beginning. It's the end of Queen Luna's control over my training, it's the middle of finding Beatrix but I suppose it is the beginning of my time at Alfea.

"You have a clean slate." Dowling stretches her hands out, palms up. "You can choose which direction you want to go in." Light appears in her hands. Not like Stella's or I but light nonetheless.

Stella's transfixed. Eyes wide at the display.

I thought Dowling was an air fairy? I ask

She is, Darkling replies. But she's been training for a very long time and is very powerful.

All magic is linked. Asmodeus continues. With time your magic can travel those links and branch out. It's not the same as your core element and certainly not as powerful but it's there nonetheless.

Dowling stops her display and indicates for Stella to try. My sister glances at me, hesitant but her eyes shine with excitement. I smile encouragingly, nodding at her to give it a go. Stella reaches forward

5:46am, I'm unpacked. I've wiped down every surface, scrubbed the sinks and swept the floor. It's not like there was anything there to clean up anyways. Bloody Hell, this is ridiculous. I love sleep. The shadows love sleep. EVERYBODY LOVES SLEEP. That lovely moment where there is nothing on your mind, no dreams, no nightmares just waking up bleary eyed and your brain is only functioning enough to allow you to relax.

Maybe if you describe it more you can trick your brain into falling asleep.

Sometimes I really hate these shadows.

Right, fiiiiine. I guess it's time to get up then. Well, start the day. I'm already wearing my training gear so strap on my weapons and tie my boots. The walk down to the specialist training grounds is quiet and mercifully empty. I don't have the mental capacity to explain why I'm up past curfew. Or before curfew? At what point is it acceptable to be awake again?

I reach the gravel path that leads to the fairy hall and the main college. I slowly begin to stretch. Drea always stressed the importance of preparing your body before any form of battle or exercise. The he would follow it with a crude joke. He would get a good laugh at me whenever I pulled a muscle if I forgot. I smile slightly, the three of us did have some good memories. It was always fun when Bea and I teamed up to prank or beat Drea. He could never be mad at us. He tried, he really did try to get mad but we were such cute children. He was mostly proud when we got past his defenses.

"You've improved wonderfully Stella. You'll be able to protect yourself from any further attacks without losing control." Dowling grins at Stella. "Your defense is strong now." My sister looks happy but I don't need the shadows to see the flicker of sadness there. If she had control back then Ricki wouldn't have been in Stella's way. She would have been able to have a clean shot at him.

I shake my head and start off at a light jog following the path that Silva had laid out yesterday. At least I already know a route for my morning jog. It's different here. To the palace, to living with Drea, to Rosalind's dungeon.

There's no routine. Not really.

There's so much freedom. In the palace, life was structured and maintained. There was a certain facade that one had to uphold. With Rosalind there was method in her madness. Tourture, training, experiments and love. Rosalind was smart. She knew how to pretend to care - just enough to keep us from breaking.

Drea and Bea were the closest thing I had to family. Stella and I have only just reconnected and I know that's mostly because she feels guilty. It was just the three of us though. We had trips into town and to different realms but Rosalind had all three of us in hiding. We had to have a routine or the isolation would have driven us insane. That was one thing Drea understood early on from his training.

"You've been left alone with your new powers for too long, Octavia." Dowling's voice is soothing. "You have trained yourself well but there is always room for improvement."

She indicates for me to begin. I start by forming the shadows in one place. Pulling them from shadowed corners and underneath objects. Once they're in my hand I shift and turn them into different shapes. First a hummingbird, then a butterfly. I stop, letting the shadows lose form and drift away.

"Shadow manipulation is easy, I can make them into anything I want. But forming those shadows into solid forms and shapes. i can do it with my light." I pause, shaking my head in disappointment. "I've done it but only when extremely angry which isn't very reliable."

Dowling nods kindly.

"How about Shadow Merging?" She asks. I shake my head, travelling through the shadows on my own without the ancient ones' assistance is still impossible. "I can just about blend individual body parts into the shadows but it's still obvious."

Dowling's left eye twitches.

"What about Shadow travel- even accidental." She looks disappointed when I shake my head. "Creating shadows in light? Predicting others movement? Seeing through the shadows? Creatign illusions?"

Nothing. Not a single one. My shadowy friends have of course show me things and told me things, but that comes from their power. I cannot control them. They feed off what little excess power I give them but no more than that. Dowling has gone tense. her eyes cold. Irritation barely hidden on her face.

"Have you ever heard whispers from the shadows, do they speak to you?"

She looks like she expects a no considering my last answers.

LIE. LIE TO HER

I flinch slightly, praying she doesn't notice. She does.

"Only like a breeze." I rushed out. "I wouldn't describe them as whispers. More like when you hear how windy it is. When it's a pitch black cloudy night sometimes I hear them." Dowling looks disappointed. I think she hoped I would be more powerful- more naturally talented.

Good girl.

I've reached the forest and I begin to slow down to appreciate the morning air. There's something different about forests in the morning. A different type of peace. I close my eyes, stopping against a tree. I remember the exercises Drea taught me for mind stilling. A way to stop mind fairies and a way to organise your thoughts.

I slow my breathing. Following the pattern of the lullaby he would sing when Bea and I were children. Shields up. Exhale. Shields down. Inhale. Over and over until I'm confident in my mind again. Until I can picture each detail, each brick, carving, door and window in my fortress. My eyes are burning in a way that lets me know they've shifted. I wonder if they've started glowing with light or filled till their pitch black. I open them.

The forest is soft and hazy, the shadows thicker and the sky muted. Black then, they've gone turned to inky blackness. I stand up. Quickly popping my joints and touching my toes before beginning to jog again. I check my watch- 6:24am. Not bad. I thought I would have been out here longer with my lack of shield practice. I can't get sloppy again. It was too easy for Rosalind to get into my head last time. I'm maybe halfway around the course and I'm coming up to the specialist training ground. I could do some training, hit a few weights, maybe do some shadow boxing, practice my sword work or punch the shit out of a bag and pretend it's Dowling during her stupid training lessons.

"Can you do anything else then?" Dowling demands. Stella looks up in shock. Her tone is completely different from before. I recognise it.

"My sister has only just truly discovered her powers." Stella says, clearly trying to reason with Dowling. "We hadn't to bring out the ancient texts on shadow wielders to work out the basics." That part is true. Except the books were brought out before I got my powers so they could work out what to do to give me them. Dowling sighs.

"My apologies Octavia. It has been so long since we've seen shadow magic in Alfea that I forgot myself." She smiles hesitantly at me. I smile back politely. Manipulative bitch.

"It's quite alright." I say smoothly. "I myself had the same reaction. I was expecting a bit more of a- bang. When I got them."

"Well," Dowling stands, indicating for us to do the same. I guess the lesson is over then. "That's why you're here- to learn."

She sounds like Rosalind.

I've reached the specialist training ground. There's a figure at the punching bag. A familiar tug pulls at me at the sight of the blond hair. Sky. He looks agitated as he punches. He's clearly working something out.

He's upset about Riven.

Riven? What's happened to Riven? I demand

Why don't you ask Sky? Little shadow whispers

Why do they always choose to shit stir instead of actually being useful? Genuinely, they're just a bunch of gossiping grandmas. I slow down to walk.

He's calmed down now and I can see him eyeing me. I snort. Trying to spy on someone with control of shadows is ridiculous. Even if the shadows don't tell me secrets they've still amplified my ability to understand and sense things. The sun is fully in the sky now and I can see the sweat sliding down Sky's brow. I walk towards him, inexplicably eager for company. I take a seat on the bench next to his gear. My mouth dries as I continue watching Sky train, muscles rippling with each blow. I reach for the Sky water bottle as he pauses and turns to face me. Taking a drink to avoid looking at him.

He stares at me, panting, his body shaking with the motion.

I watch as Sky strides over and sits beside me. For a second we both just sit there, staring at Alfea.

I glance at him. Tired. He looks so tired. I don't think he slept.

Neither did you

I offer him the water bottle. He glances at it before looking up at me. At the silent offer in my eyes. Company.

He takes the bottle and we turn back to face Alfea in silence.

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

Sky

It's been a week since the omáda incident and we've barely spoken. Riven avoids me in class. He still sits next to me, yes- but he's never in class if he can avoid it. His work is handed in on time and I see his homework left on his desk but- but I don't see him. I see him sometimes in our dorm, he comes in smelling of weed or alcohol, I occasionally see him covered in mud, blood and straw. Helios knows what he's been doing. Where he's been sleeping for the past week.

I head towards the training grounds hoping that Riv's there. Every morning I wait for him to join me on our morning run, and every morning he isn't there. On the plus side, I've started running with Octavia. We don't talk, barely even acknowledge each other but she waits for me as I wait in my room for Riv.

He wasn't in class but Miss Carol isn't exactly Silva making us clean out the toilets and have months worth of kitchen duty for skipping training.

I look around.

There- He's standing by one of the training platforms. I quickly stride towards him.

"Sky." Silva.

He indicates for me to come over to where he's standing. I watch as he quickly waves away the students near us. When he turns to me his face is cold and serious, I can't help but straighten at the sight.

His eyes are filled with worry.

I pause. He glances behind me- towards Riven.

"What's wrong with him?" He asks, voice deceptively calm

"Just a bad day."
He raises an eyebrow. "Bad day?" Silva steps closer.

"He's been like this all week, Sky. What happened?"

"Nothing happened."

But Silva raised me. Raised me as his own son and he knows all of my tells.

"Don't lie to me Sky." He bites out. Rage flickers across his face. I startle.

Silva sees this and closes his eyes as he steps back. He sighs, shoulders sagging. My chest tightens.

"What happened Sky."

"He had a bad day." I say hoarsely. Silva's head raises slowly, too slowly.

"Did the two of you get into a fight?"

"Yeah, yeah. I think we did." Silva sighs heavily.

"Was it about the body Riven found?" He looks tired and- guilty.

"What-" I stammer. "No, no. It was about omádas." At least I think that's why Riven's upset with me. "What do you mean body?"

"You keep this under wraps. No one can know about it." He jabs a finger at my chest, I nod quickly. "Riven and that Octavia girl you're crushing on were outside the barrier on the first day."

I tense. They said nothing happened.

"They stumbled across a dead shepherd. He- he was pretty mangled, Sky." Silva's voice has gone dull in a way that makes every instinct in my stand up straight.

"Octavia, she was a mess. Barely functioning. Riven held it together for her, contacted me and then helped her get back to Alfea. I spoke with him after, to make sure he was okay. He said he had spoken to you about it, that he was a little shaken but the two of you were going to try and have a good time at the orientation party as a distraction."

Shit.

Something really did happen. I knew more was going on last week with the omádas. Why didn't I push it? And Octavia, we've been together every morning, why wouldn't she mention it?

"Don't do that Sky, don't blame yourself. Riven had a scare, he got cagey. It's no ones fault."

I nod, not believing him. Helios, I'm a shit friend. No wonder Riven went down hill. To find a body and then find out you have a predestined fate and everything is pretty much out of your control, from his view at least, must have been overwhelming.

I shake my head. "I'll talk to him."

Silva nods at me before turning away, a dismissal.

I move towards the platform where I last saw Riv standing by. Except this time he's on the platform fighting Mikey. I watch him as I make my way over, he's slow, missing opportunities, slow to block and his hits are weaker than normal. He's still winning but it's taking more energy and concentration than it should for him.

"Sweep the leg." I call out to Mikey, watching as he does just that. Riven hits the mat with an audible thud, he waves off Mikey when he offers to give him a hand up.

I indicate for the other specialist hanging around the mat to leave. I watch, grateful for being Silva's protegee, as they walk away.

"Abusing your Prince Charming status. How very stereotypical of you." Riven taunts but it lacks his usual fire.

"Why didn't you tell me about the Shepherd's body?"

Silence.

"Riv." I warn.

"What's there to tell?" He's still laid back on the mat.

"You could have spoken to me about it." Rive snorts. "You don't have to be okay with it."

My voice is pleading. I feel myself walk towards him, step onto the platform and stare down at his prone form.

"After what happened when we spoke about the omádas-"
"What you thought I'd just start spewing emotional bullshit left and right." He snaps.

Riv sits up.

"Just fuck off Sky, I'll be fine."
"But your not- are you?" I snarl. Feet braced apart in a fighting stance, watching as Riven rises to his feet.

"I certainly wouldn't tell you if I wasn't." He snaps.

Anger.

Good, that I can work with.

I walk off the mat, heading towards the equipment racks.

"Where are you going?" Riv calls out. He sounds angry but I can hear the hesitancy, he's worried I'm walking away from. Despite all his bluffs he does want me to care. I reach the rack and quickly select two sets of swords.

I make my way back to Riven, body thrumming with anger as I do. Why wouldn't he just tell me? This entire week was spent worrying and he has the nerve to snap at me. I leap back onto the platform throwing Riven a pair of swords as I go.

"Fine, be angry at me." I snarl. "But if you're going to be pissy you can train while we're at it."

He scoffs but tightens his grips on the swords and changes his stance.

Good, we'll have a fight then.

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