I punch the pillow underneath my head for what seems like the millionth time, hoping the hit will somehow make it more comfortable. I have been tossing and turning all damn night. I haven't been able to get thoughts of Liam's hand underneath Rae's dress, pleasuring her, out of my head.

I've replayed her moan in my head and the look on her face an endless amount of times. How his hands grabbed her so rough he'd marked her face and her hands in his hair. It was one thing watching her walk away with him, wondering what was going to happen between them that night, and actually seeing it.

Seeing it hurt. It hurt real fucking bad. Way worse than anything I'd expected. Way worse than any hit, any blow I'd ever received. It was probably the worst feeling I've ever experienced aside from my mother's death. And in return I hurt her.

I was a complete and utter cunt to her and I know it. I'd said things to her that were so fucking mean because I was hurt and I needed her to hurt too. I needed her to feel that pain.

I can't stop thinking about the way she'd been looking at me while he worked her insides. She'd been looking at me, right at me. She'd been thinking of me.

I jolt straight up in the bed at my realization. Just like when I'd been with Sarah, I wasn't thinking about Sarah. I was thinking about Rae, imagining she was Rae. But what if Rae hadn't been? What if she really had been thinking of him? What if?

"Fuck that." I stand up and open my bedroom door. I don't hesitate as I walk straight to hers. I try the handle and am met with no resistance. I close the door quietly behind me before walking over to her bed.

She's lying there on top of her comforter in just a t-shirt. A devilish grin automatically slides up my face when I recognize it as my own. I was wondering where that shirt went. I slide in behind her on the bed, bringing my hand to her knee and slowly trail my fingers upward. It doesn't take long before she slowly awakens underneath me and once she does she automatically tenses.

"It's just me." I reassure her.

"Seth?" She whispers groggily. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Tell me something, Rae."

She slowly turns her body to face mine and even in the dark I can tell she's angry. "Im not telling you shit. Get the fuck out of my room."

I ignore her. "Who were you thinking about?"

"I said, get out of my room, Seth." Her voice stern.

"When he was touching you," I trail my fingers on her inner thigh "working his fingers inside of you, tell me who you were picturing touching you."

"Fuck off."

"Was it him?"

"What do you think?" And even though her words may sound irate, they tell me all I need to know. I move my body on top of hers and she automatically pushes her hands against me. "Get off of me, asshole." She whisper-shouts.

"Nice shirt." Her hands pause for a moment and even in the dark I can catch the oh shit look on her face. "That's what I thought. Now tell me," I push her knees apart with my own "who you were thinking about." She squirms underneath me, pushing her hips upward, rubbing against me.

"Get the hell off of me." Her voice is full of anger.

"Is that what you really want?"

"Yes."

"Okay, if that's what you really want." I begin to lift off of her when she wraps her arms around my neck and tries to kiss me. "Not this time, Rae." I grab her arms from around my neck and put both of her wrists in my right hand before pinning them to the bed above her head. "Tell me who you want."

"Fuck you." She thrusts her hips upwards against me, rubbing herself into my length. "Fuck you, Seth." I grind myself into her, lips inches away from hers. "Fuck you. Just-" Her hips meet mine again. "Fuck."

"Have you fucked him since you were with me?" She shakes her head no. "Good answer." I reach down and tear her underwear off causing her to gasp. I hover above her, pinning her down so she can't move. "Now tell me. Tell me who you were thinking about. Tell me what you want, who you want."

She looks like she's having a war within herself as she stares back at me. "You." She whispers almost inaudibly.

"Excuse me, what was that?" I challenge.

"You, god damn it. YOU!" She continues to shout at me, "you, I was thinking about you! Your hands. Your touch. Your cock."

I crash my lips onto hers but I'm still in control, holding her hands in my grasp as I take her breath away with my kiss. I can feel her fighting me, fight this but that's fine because fighting is something I'm good at. "Not this time, Rae." I reach down and slip two of my fingers inside of her, feeling how wet she is for me. "No, this time I'm in control."

Her eyes hold some emotion that I can't understand for a moment but as I continue to work inside of her she lets out a moan. "That's it, baby" I rub her clit with my thumb, thrusting my fingers in and out of her until I feel her tighten on me "I want you to let go. Give it to me." Give me that control.

"Seth," she pants out as she begins to pulsate and release on my fingers. "I can't," I work harder inside of her thrusting my fingers upwards and curling them, causing her legs to tremble beneath me. "I- I- oh god, I can't."

"You can and you are, whether you like it or not." She continues to shake uncontrollably underneath me as she lets her orgasm flow through her, moaning my name as she does. I don't let her come down from her high as I remove my fingers from her, pull my sweats down, and give her something much bigger. She tenses and her eyes fly open in the middle of her orgasmic bliss to look at me.

"Seth," I push all the way into her "fuck."

"That's it, Rae." I say as she begins to relax underneath me. "Take it." I'm taking you this time. I have the control this time.

"Oh god" my grip tightens on her wrists as she squeezes me with her insides again. "Seth!" A loud scream begins to tear from her chest but I smother it with my lips. I thrust harder giving myself to her relentlessly before I feel like I'm going to explode. I wait until I feel her begin to come down from her climax, wait until I know she's satisfied completely, before pulling out of her and finishing on her stomach with a loud moan of my own.

Once I let out the last string of my load onto her, I release her hands from my grasp. I look down at her, the both of our breathing coming out raggedly. She's so fucking beautiful and I'd taken her this time, not the other way around.

I hold my weight on my forearms as I kiss her forehead, then her nose. I reach over and grab tissues from the nightstand and wipe my mess off of her abdomen. After I toss that in the trash I lean down to kiss her cheek but when I do I notice a wetness there. I pull away from her and look down to see a steady stream of tears flowing down her face.

"Rae?" She doesn't look at me. She just stares out the window. "Rae?" I ask more worriedly. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she mumbles brokenly.

"Rae, what's wrong?" I get off the top of her and move into a sitting position. "Did I do something? Did I-"

"Just leave me be, Seth." I begin to say something but she interrupts me with, "please, Seth. I just- I can't-" I can hear her trying to hold back her tears. "Just not right now."

I slowly pull myself away from her, standing up. I want to say something, anything to make her feel better, to fix whatever it is that I broke. Because clearly I'd broken something.

"I'm sorry, Rae." And those are the last words I say before leaving.