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It was already dark outside. 

My feet were on the seat of the banquette, my arms wrapped around my knees and my head against the headrest. Slow but smooth alternative country music was playing in the empty diner.

I was at Queen of Hearts, a small diner that wasn't far from home. I normally went there whenever I was craving for their food - especially their fries, pancakes, waffles, and custard cake. It was a nice place to go to when I was working on some rough drafts for new ideas with my art and doing my schoolwork, or whenever I wanted to get away from home to think and clear my head - especially in the evening, when it was less hectic with less people.

And that was why I was there - to think and clear my head.

It wasn't too long after what happened at home and there was a lot to think about and process.

I knew Maren was trying to help fix the tension between Matthew and me. I understood that she did that to it push me to face the problem instead of avoiding it and waiting for it to resolve itself, but she could have had the decency to respect my space and understand that I didn't want to do it then when I told her. She knew that I was the type of person who never liked rushing, preferred to take one step at a time and do things on my own time and at my own pace.

But then again, I couldn't hold it against her because she didn't know what was going on and what caused the tension in the first place. If she did, she would have known where to draw the line and respect my space until such a time she felt I wasn't going to do anything about it.

I DIDN'T FORCE YOU TO SLEEP WITH ME! YOU BASICALLY OPENED YOUR LEGS TO ME! 

My hands curled into fists. Gripping the sleeves of my hoodie tightly, I swallowed the lump in my throat.

I knew his words shouldn't have affected me the way they had when he said them. I didn't have the right to be offended by them because what happened that night was in the heat of the moment. We both got carried away and it wasn't supposed to mean anything, but it did. His words weren't supposed to cut so deep, but they did.

But why?

Was it because of the curiosity that sparked a small attraction towards him?

Was it because he was easy to talk to about anything without any judgement?

Was it because even though he couldn't relate to how I felt about my mother's death, he actually took the time to listen to me and encouraged me to see the positive over the negative?

Was it because of the way he made me feel that night?

The way he kissed every part of me like I was a valuable treasure. How our bodies were in sync with one another.

"Hey." Someone broke me out of my train of thoughts.

I looked up and saw Maddy standing next to me. "Hey. What are you doing here?" I asked, sitting up straight.

"I work here." She simply answered with a shrug.

Right there and then, I noticed that she was indeed dressed in the uniform consisting of a pair of black slacks, a navy blue apron tied around her waist and a navy blue shirt with the diner's logo on the right breast pocket.

"How come I've never seen you around here? I come here regularly enough to know the owner and the employees here." I said.

"I take shifts after school on Tuesdays, Thursdays and sometimes on Fridays depending if I get called in to cover for someone." She told me. "On top of that, I only started working here during Summer Break.."

"I see."

"Do want to order something?" she asked.

"No," I declined. "I only came here to get away from home."

"Well, whatever happened at home, I can tell that it really got you troubled. You good?"

"Yeah...kind of. Just got a lot on my mind is all."

"I know it ain't my business nor place to ask if you wanna talk about it and I don't really talk much from what you've already observed, but I am a good listener if you need to vent about anything. I can throw in my two cents on whatever you throw at me."

"You don't have to, Maddy."

"I know, but whatever's bothering you now doesn't seem like it will go away anytime soon and you don't seem to know what to do about it."

I bit my lip, taking in her words.

"Again, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm just saying I'm available to listen to your problems."

I thought about it. She was right about my dilemma being problematic and wasn't going to disappear overnight and I obviously had no idea how to go about it. Maybe talking about it wasn't so bad. "You busy?" 

"Seeing that there aren't many customers, I'm pretty much free." She sat down. "It's better than standing at the counter looking at people, am I right?"

"True." I agreed with a small smile

"So," she said. "what's on your mind?"

I was quiet, collecting my thoughts and putting them together. "Have you ever felt angry and hurt over something you know you shouldn't but you still do anyway?"

Maddy arched an eyebrow. 

"Like the issue is small. It's nothing serious. It shouldn't even mean anything but you're angry about it regardless."

"If it's affecting you that much then the issue itself is bigger than you think. It's something serious and does mean something to you to some degree." She answered. "What's adding to your anger is that you don't understand why you feel that way and why it's bothering you in the first place."

"The thing about humans is that we tend to be oblivious to the answers right in front of us or we just choose to not acknowledge what's right under our noses either because we're in denial or we're too proud to admit it." She told me. "But that's what I personally think."

I nodded, drumming my fingers on the table, taking in what she said.

"Are you by any chance in that kind of dilemma?" she asked, catching me off guard.

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"Being a literature student has its perks." She answered with a smirk. "We tend to observe and analyse things no matter how small and insignificant they may seem. Plus, the tone you used to address your question was mostly directed towards you rather than it being a casual hypothetical question."

"Wow," I let out a ragged laugh. "I guess I should work on my acting skills."

"Nah, it only takes an observant person to actually analyse things." She said, "And like I said; humans are oblivious to what's in front of them. So even if you had asked your question the way you did, the chances of any other person overlooking it are close to being high."

"I see."

"So are you in that kind of dilemma?"

I was silent for a brief moment before I gave my answer. "You can say that I am. I..." I trailed off into another brief pause. "I slept with my best friend's mentor during Summer Break on my birthday."

Her eyebrows flew up, surprised. "I had a feeling that it was somewhere along those lines, but I dismissed the idea since you don't seem like that kind of girl. No offense."

I chuckled. "It's okay. Even I was surprised that I did such a thing after it happened."

"Tell me, was Birthday Sex by Jeremih playing in the background?" she said wiggling her eyebrows. 

I kicked her shin with a flushed face. 

"What? It was sex on your birthday. Birthday Sex." She giggled.

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, so you guys fucked. Is that why you're mad?"

"No. How it happened was a spur of the moment and we got carried away, but it was consensual between us nonetheless." I explained. "It was what happened after."

She gesticulated me to continue.

"He called me by another person's name."

To say that she was surprised at the bombshell I had dropped would be an understatement. She was shocked and speechless.

I narrated the events of the night at Eaglesvale, until the following where the naming incident took place, then to when he dropped me off at Brooke's place, until the incident earlier that evening. 

"After what he said, I hung up on him and here I am." I finished.

"Man. That's one entanglement." She commented.

"Entanglement?" I questioned.

"Yeah. Like string of complications tied into one."

"...that's one way to put it."

"Does your best friend know?"

"No. Last thing I need is things getting awkward."

"Does he know about the name slip?"

I shook my head. "He didn't ask why I ran off so I assumed that it wasn't a big deal."

"But it is a big deal to you. You slept with this guy and he called you by a name that might belong to a potential ex. That's the worst thing that can ever happen to someone - especially when it's your first time."

"But it shouldn't matter. We're not that close." I insisted.

"This is what I meant when I talked about people being in denial and being too proud to admit to something that's right under their noses." She told me. "From what you've told me, it's pretty clear that this guy made you feel a certain way, which explains why you're so angry."

"So what are you saying?"

"It seems to me that you developed an attraction towards the guy." She said. "It's small but an attraction no doubt. And the reason why you're angry and having sleepless nights stems from that incident where he referred you to someone else."

I took in her words and understood. 

"So what should I do?"

"The answer is simple." She said. "You have to confront him about it. You can't wait around until he figures out why since he obviously has no clue what he did wrong. He deserves to know why you're angry and frustrated."