TW: schizophrenia (got the info online so sorry if they aren't 100% accurate)

Based on the movie 'Bathroom walls'

This one is a bit long so buckle up xxx

Harvey POV
"You have to breathe in...and out...life is a gift and our body is a temple so stress is not welcome here..."
"Maybe we could give Mr. Stanley a lesson..."
"No Zed and put that baseball bat away. You can finish the test and I'm sure you're gonna do great" Emily said with a huge smile.
I sighed heavily and rested my head on the desk.
I didn't know what was going on, who those people were and why I was the only one able to see them, there were too many sounds and my head was hurting.
So that's how I found out I had schizophrenia.

It's not that bad...if I take my pills obviously but I learned how to handle it for the majority of the time, kinda...
At least I'm never alone...I guess...
James is the zen one, he is always so calm that it's contagious.
But the whole incense shit sometimes is a bit too much.
Then there's Zed, he is the aggressive one.
He's not mean just overprotective and obsessed with justice so don't mess up with him cause yeah he is still a product of my mind but I can't stop him.
Then we have Emily...she is the one that balances everything out.
She's like a big sister, always there to make sure I'm ok and stuff even tho whenever I see her it is a synonym of 'you can have an attack any moment!'.
I had some serious breakdowns tho so I had to change a couple of schools but what am I supposed to do?
I kinda learned to accept the thing even tho it's not always easy.

"Honey, today you have to talk to the principal and don't forget your pills" mum said while pouring some coffee in her mug.
"Yeah yeah" I wasn't actually listening to her but she's always happy when I act as I do so...
I kissed her cheek then left to go to school.

This is like the third one that I changed in less then 2 years, which is a lot but hey it wasn't my fault.
I stared at my pills for a second before putting them back into my pocket, they don't work anyway...
"Oh my god, a new school!!" Emily was like a kid in a candy shop.
I smiled at her excitement and walked inside trying to avoid everyone.
"This place has a good energy" James said breathing in the air of the hallway, which honestly didn't have a good smell at all.
I wish I could have said something back to them but I didn't want to drag any attention on me, not on the first day.

The encounter with the principal was useless since he told me the same things like 'we care about your health' 'it's a safe space' and blah blah blah.
I was honestly already tired of this place, I needed a break.

I found the bathroom empty, thank god so I rested my back against the wall and sliced down.
"I don't like the smell of this place" James pinched his nose.
"It's a school bathroom J..."
"Harv don't go near any Molly...apparently she's a hoe" Emily pointed at a bold writing on the wall.
I closed my eyes, I needed silence.
"If someone bullies you..."
"Zed it's ok. I think he's just tired" Emily stepped in.
"Thanks, Em...I just wanna go home"
It was a shitty day, I felt like shit and felt the presence of an attack around the corner.
"Take your pills even tho I don't think they are vegan" James smiled.
I took them out of my pocket and contemplated if I should do it or not.
I mean they don't usually work but since they are brand new maybe...but they can have some side effects...fuck it.
I chugged them down and drank some water from the faucet.

I looked at the reflection in the mirror then closed my eyes, I knew that they wouldn't have worked.
"Are you ok?"
"I knew it wasn't gonna work" I replied turning around but I jumped at the sight.
It wasn't James or Zed but a guy...a real one...
"Sorry didn't mean to scare you but you were talking alone and didn't want to disturb you" the guy said leaning against the bathroom stall.
"I- it's complicated...I promise I'm not a weirdo...maybe" I whispered the last part.
"Ok...I'm Mikey by the way"
"Harvey"
"Are you new?"
"Yeah..."
"Needed a break?"
"Yeah. The principal was a pain in the ass"
Mikey nodded then went to leave the bathroom.

The next following days, I tried to stay calm and avoided anything that could start an attack but while I was sucked in my own world, I noticed that Mikey wasn't around much.
Maybe I scared him away or maybe he had his own shit to deal with which makes more sense.

"Hey, have you seen Mikey?" I asked a girl that was in our class.
"Emm yeah. In the bathroom, I think"
I didn't know why but I found myself in the bathroom looking for Mikey.
As the girl said, he was there...studying?
"Didn't know that the bathroom was the new library or study room" I joked standing beside him.
"Biology uh?"
"Yeah, I'm behind with the program. Didn't have time cause...it doesn't matter" Mikey said flipping the pages of his brook.
"Well...if you need help, my mum once was a biology teacher so I studied it since I was 5 years old. I'm quite good at it, not to drag myself"
"If it's not a problem for you. I don't want to take away your time" Mikey closed his book.
"What? No, I'm only happy to help. Just tell me when...it's not like I have many friends to hang out with or any other things to do" I said with a hint of sadness even tho I didn't mean to sound like a loser.
"What about today after school?" He suggested ignoring the last thing I said and I simply nodded.

-later that day-
"Ok...em this is my room. Nothing special but...I'll be right back with some snacks"
I left Mikey alone in my room and went to the kitchen.
"He seems nice" Emily said sitting on the counter swinging his legs.
"He's a bit stressed but his aura feels nice" James walked in only in a rope.
"Jeez James...put something on" I scolded him while looking at the fridge.
"He could be a thief..." Zed looked through the knife drawer.
"No...and you guys have to leave me alone for at least an hour" I closed the drawer Zed was looking in and went upstairs with a bowl of chips.

We studied a bit and Mikey wasn't as stupid as he stated to be.
We also laughed and joked and for once I forgot that I had schizophrenia, it was like he had this strange effect on me that made me feel better.
"Well, thank you for helping me. You really saved my ass"
"No problem, it was fun and if you need anything else just tell me"
Mikey smiled at me before leaving and that made me feel...something.
"Someone has a crush..." Emily teased from the couch.
"Shut up" I glared at her.
"Well you can lie to yourself but not to us" she smirked and I shook my head in disapproval.

Me and Mikey got closer.
We hung out every week, studied together, sat next to each other at lunch and just spent a lot of time together.
I found out that Mikey loves football and plays in the school's team and sometimes he helps training children.
He also hates rain but loves the sound of it and is obsessed with mac and cheese, don't question it.
Emily still teased me about it but my schizophrenia wasn't that bad anymore, not since I met Mikey.
That why I stopped taking my pills, I mean they weren't working anyway so...

"This weekend I have a match for some charity stuff and after there's a party...do you want to come with me?" Mikey asked while we were eating and studying on the football pitch.
"Yeah, I could never miss it" I smiled at him.
I loved feeling normal and Mikey made me feel like that.
His head on my lap, him eating while I was reading a book for our philosophy class, the naked blue sky without a single cloud in sight...yeah that's what I always wanted.
"Stop reading and do something to keep me company..." Mikey whined.
"You want too much attention"
"Nope, you've been ignoring me cause of that book for like an hour" he complained.
I looked at him with the 'you-know-I-have-to-read-it' look.
"Ok fine, I'll entertain myself with football"
Mikey got up and ran around the field.
I looked at him, he looked like he was flying, the ball moving along without any difficulties.
"You're smiling..." Em commented.
"My brother...love is a beautiful thing, it's not just pain-"
"Yeah, he'll be the one in pain if he acts like an asshole" Zed glared at Mikey.
"It's just a match" I defended.
"And a party" Emily added.
I rolled my eyes and kept on watching Mikey playing football.

-match day-
"Why are we so dressed up?" My mom asked as soon as I went downstairs.
"Mom, jeans and a button-up shirt is not dressing up" I pointed out while putting on the shoes.
"I love your aura tonight Harv. You smell of happiness"
"Thanks, James"
My mum looked at me like I was crazy.
"Schizophrenia" I simply said.
"About that...I noticed that you stopped taking the pills"
"They don't work"
"And why didn't you tell me? We could have-"
"Mom, I don't want to. They make me feel awful. I just don't want to"
Mom breathed in and I knew that she was trying to help.
"I'll be back late" I said ending the conversation there.

The match went ok.
I'm not an expert like Mikey but they won and that's all that matters right?
"You were amazing"
I hugged Mikey even tho he was all sweaty.
"Thanks. I'll shower quickly then we'll go" Mikey ruffled my hair then grabbed his bag.
I watched him walking away when I saw some dark fog surrounding the field.
It was a black sea of fog and it was talking?
"Harvey...Harvey...Harvey..."
It was like a mantra.
"Come closer...come..."
It grew louder.
It wasn't that loud but it was nagging like the sound of a hammer beating aggressively.
I was glued on my spot but I was attracted towards the field, I needed to go.
"Harvey...Harv"
I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"What?" I slightly jumped.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah sure...I-yeah. Let's go"
Mikey just nodded and let it go.

The party was chill, I mean the usual stuff.
Lots of alcohol, loud music and people everywhere.
I usually hate places like that but I had to live a little right?
"Do you want something to drink?" Mikey asked over the loud music.
I nodded and followed him to the bar.
"What are you making?" I asked trying to figure out what he was pouring.
"Surprise drink"
He mixed random things then poured the weird liquid into two glasses.
"Oh my god, what did you put in it?"
It was delicious, a mix of sweet and sour.
"Secret recipe" he sipped his drink leaning on the bar counter.
"I love this song!" Mikey, at one point, gasped and dragged me to the dance floor barely giving me time to put down my drink.

He moved following the rhythm of the music.
He was carefree and happy, nothing was bothering his mind.
"Come on!" He gestured me to come closer and dance with him but I didn't know how to dance.
"Just let yourself go!"
He grabbed my hands and I followed his movements, trying not to focus on them too much.
After a bit, I got used to it and our bodies moved along and smoothly like two sea waves that mix together.
"See...you're not that bad"
"Yeah, I-"
The black fog was back again.
It covered the whole dance floor and there were some black clouds in the air too.
I looked at my white shoes turning black and everyone in the room disappeared.
"Harvey...Harvey..."
"You look alone...come with us..."
There were multiple voices.
"STOP!" I screamed but nothing changed.
I covered my ears to block out the noise but it was useless.
"Harvey..." it wasn't one of the voices but Mikey.
He was right in front of me with a concerned look and tears started to pool in my eyes.
"Make it stop!" I cried and threw myself at him.
He hugged me tight and I buried my face in his neck.
"Make it stop, please! I don't want them to get me!" I cried even more but darkness already engulfed both of us.

-two days later-
A bright light woke me up.
The room was excessively white and the bed too hard, it wasn't my bed.
"Where am I?" I mumbled with my eyes still closed.
I slowly opened them and I recognized the place immediately even tho the sight was blurred and I felt dizzy.
"Harvey...how do you feel?" A nurse came in.
"Like shit. When can I get out?"
"Soon...do you remember anything?" She continued.
"No, complete blackout. I want to call my mom"
"Ok. We'll let you call her in a minute" she said then wrote something down.

Thank god after two hours I was allowed to get out from that shitty hole.
"How are you feeling honey?"
"Fine. Just want to go home" I coldly replied then stared out of the window for the whole way back.
Once back in my own room, I sighed and dropped my tired body on the bed.
"You scared us" Emily's voice echoed in the room.
"I tried to fight them but the sons of a bitch were too many. Not a fair match"
"There's too much negativity. Need to clear the air" James walked around with a stick of incense.
"I'm ok guys...you know sometimes it happens"
And it was true, it wasn't the first time that I had an attack and I ended up in a psychiatric hospital.
"are you gonna tell Mikey everything now?" Em asked resting her head on my shoulder.
"I think that own him an explanation"

I stayed away from Mikey for another couple of days cause I didn't know how to face him.
I couldn't look him in the eyes and tell everything but I had to, he needed to know.
So after two days of running away, I managed to go and talk to him.
"Hey..." I said approaching him.
"Can we talk?"
He was talking to two other people and looked kinda surprised by my presence.
As soon as the two guys left, Mikey attacked me.
"Where have you been?!" He pushed me and yep, he was mad.
"God...you- I was so worried! You ignored and disappeared for days and I didn't know what to think!" He screamed and I knew he was letting everything out.
"I know and I'm sorry...it's just that I didn't know how to say it without scaring you away..." I turned around, my back facing him.
"I have schizophrenia. I found out years ago but I still don't know how to handle it and I think that I'll never be able to. I tried thousands of medications but nothing worked out and I always feel like shit. Till I came here and met you..."
I did a pause but Mikey said nothing.
"I know it doesn't work like that but for some reason, I felt better around you and I didn't want to ruin everything...but I had an attack the other day and..."
I didn't know what I was saying but it was better than silence no?
"That's why you didn't tell me?"
"Yeah, you could have run away" I was still facing the wall.
"I would have understood...you didn't give me the right to choose..." Mikey said.
I looked at the wall and focused on the writing 'Molly is a hoe' and near it 'You are you. Don't change'
It was funny how the bathroom walls were covered with so much random bullshit.
I turned around and met Mikey's piercing blue eyes.
"I want to be able to choose Harv..."
"And you would have chosen to stay?"
He didn't reply, just conned our lips but obviously, the others had to ruin the moment.
"Yes! You guys are so cute!" Em cried.
James was full-on sobbing.
"Ok cute...but if he does something to you..." Zed threatened.
"Guys chill"
I love them cause they have always been with me, through everything but...
"What?" Mikey arched his brow.
"Nothing...I'll explain one day"
Mikey just smiled and right there I knew that I-we had something special.
Sometimes things have to go like shit before having the sun shining on you.

___________________________________

Note*
I hope that no one is offended by those stories with such serious topics.
I'm not trying to romanticise anything just want to tell stories about people, normal people that sometimes have more issues than others.
So sorry if I offended anyone.
Still have a lot of stories ready that I have to edit but I'm working on it.
Hope you guys are doing ok and if not take care of yourself <3