WHAT IS GRIEF,
IF NOT LOVE PRESERVING?

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STARCROSSED (book one).
°• CHAPTER EIGHT •°

" THEY'RE ALL ON
THE OTHER SIDE. "

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THE TRUTH ABOUT SIBLINGS IS THAT YOU KNOW THEM BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD EVEN WHEN THERE IS A RIFT. Elijah envied the close relationship Jonathan had with Will sometimes. There was a distance between the bond he had with Nevaeh and for the longest time, he assumed it was because they were too close in age. That turned out to be the furthest from the truth. It was only because Elijah was too wrapped up in his whirlwind of thoughts while Nevaeh was trapped in a box of addiction. It was difficult that they wanted to save one another even if it meant they drowned themselves. That never worked between a close brother and sister.

But Elijah still knew everything about Nevaeh. He has since the day Tobia and Esme brought her home from the hospital even if you wouldn't believe him since he was only a month away from his first birthday. This was his baby sister he told himself every day from the first night he understood what responsibilities came with having one.

Elijah knows she had an allergy to nuts and made sure everywhere they went that everyone knew too, but he's caught her tempted by Reese's, and would have to wrestle the candy away from her sometimes. He knows Nevaeh's favorite color was yellow and her favorite flowers were white daisies because they reminded her of happiness. She loves English & Literature classes the same way he loves lessons of Science, which she especially loves with all of her heart the same way Elijah does and keeps a striped notebook tucked under her mattress full of scrawled poems. They tell tales of sorrow and grief although he dared not to touch it. Those were for Nevaeh's eyes until she was ready to share them. There was a trust they had that he'd never betray.

There were a few things Elijah knew about Will, too. He was amazed at his sketching skills and how much color he brought to this world. He has a beautiful picture of the solar system that Will eagerly drew for him pinned to his closet door. But Elijah didn't know the kid like his big brother did. Jonathan was well aware of the night calls Will made on his radio to his three closest friends, three kids he's attended school with for years, one of them being Nancy's younger brother. That was how they were going to find them so they could find Will too.

The Christmas lights Joyce had decorating the house from the last time Elijah visited were still strewn across the wall, ceiling, and furniture. Jonathan barely blinks at them since he now believes his mother hasn't lost her mind. He's busy guiding them to Will's bedroom as Nancy hung back for a second, her jaw dropped at every twinkling bulb before she snaps out of it and follows them.

Jonathan shoves past the door and bolts to Wills's dresser. He shuffles through the few trinkets as Joyce yanks Will's blanket off his bed in her frantic search. Elijah hears her huff as she falls to her knees and starts another search through the mess under the bed. The scoff turns into a victorious cry when the woman calls out, "I got it!"

The radio flies to Nancy. Elijah can see her face is pinched, unsure. She's afraid. She doesn't know if this will work, if it's possible to save her little brother. Elijah knows the fear of loss and he refuses to let it stand in the eldest Wheeler's way. "Nancy," he says quietly before promising, "they're all on the other side."

His words bring hope to Nancy's eyes. It sparks the blue in them and gives her the strength to hold her finger on the button. "Mike, are you there? ... Mike, it's me, Nancy. ... Mike, are you there?" There's nothing except a visible silence that increases Nancy's frustration. "Answer, Mike, we need you to answer. This is an emergency, Mike. Do you copy? ... Mike, do you copy? ... I need you to answer! ... We need to know that you're there, Mike!"

Elijah's head snaps up when Hopper crosses the room. He snatches the radio out of Nancy's hand in a motion that makes his nose wrinkle, but he keeps his mouth shut this once as the Chief demands, "Listen, kid, this is the Chief. If you're there, pick up. We know you're in trouble and we know about the girl. ... We can protect you, we can help you, but you gotta pick up," he urges. "Are you there? Do you copy? Over."

It seems as if that's it. Hopper admits defeat and slams the radio on a wooden shelf's surface. With Jonathan's head hung, Joyce's arms crossed over her chest, and Elijah's muscles tensing with stress, Hopper turns to face them again. His expression is blank other than the deep frown under his thick mustache. "Anybody got any other ideas?" He requests.

"I don't know," Elijah mumbles sarcastically, "how about you bring out the bloodhounds? Or do you prefer pigs?"

Eyes dart to Elijah and a second after he feels Jonathan slug his shoulder. But he doesn't care. He hates that the alcoholic of Hawkins, the Chief of police, abuses his power, and suddenly wants to help? Elijah knew they needed every bit of assistance they could get, but he couldn't bite his tongue when bitterness took over. It was bullshit.

And yet, they were almost defeated. Almost. Because the radio hums to life before Mike Wheeler's voice fills the room when he finally replies to their pleas, "Yeah, I copy. It's Mike. I'm here... We're here."

Elijah jerks in surprise. He doesn't know why. He just does and tries to listen closely as Chief Hopper maps out the plan for them with control. It feels as if Elijah's mind is somewhere else and because of that, he can't shut his mind up with the thoughts of Nevaeh Wolfhart and Steve Harrington.

A car's rumbling engine was roaring down Hawkin's road with the screams of Tommy's empty threats, "That's right, run away, Stevie boy! Run away! Just like you always do. That Flamer Wolfhart's gay shit really is contagious because he and Nancy are turning you into a little pussy!" That follows. Steve can still hear the bullshit ringing in his ears as it brings him to Hawkin's little downtown.

Half of Steve wishes the theatre would crumble away to be rid of any evidence. The other half of him wishes he never encouraged this in the first place. Although it hadn't been Steve that painted the awful words on the board, he knew responsibility for it wasn't only placed on Tommy's shoulders. He had to own up to it and be held accountable for everything he's done from the start. It's the least he could do.

Two employees were already hard at work scrubbing the painted letters away. Another wave of guilt washed over Steve as he steps out of the car. But the feeling is good, it meant he could start doing better. It's exactly what drove Steve to walk across the concrete and call out to the man on the ladder, "Need a hand?"

The offering caught him by surprise. He glares down at Steve, put off-guard by the question and bloody mess across his face. "Did you have something to do with this?" He demands.

"I just..." Steve trails off. He doesn't know what to say at first. The closest words that felt right were, "... I wanna help."

The wooden ladder creaks as the man accepted Steve's offer and climbed off it. Steve, pleased, tugs his jacket off his shoulders. The damp rag is tossed in his direction. "All yours."

Steve nods before mounting the ladder. He climbs each step as if it'll bring him closer to redemption, forgiveness, things he was well aware he didn't deserve. But it was worth a shot. Steve knew he was the biggest jerk on this planet as he first scrubs harshly at the giant red E, living in a world that didn't deserve Elijah Wolfhart while at the same time, he still deserved the entire world.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Nevaeh has the shell of her ear pressed against her bedroom door. She's been waiting what felt like forever for the steps of her father to echo out of the front door. She knew Tobia was rushing back to her brother, but Nevaeh also knew Elijah would be long gone by the time he got there the second she saw Hopper and Joyce. It's why she faked a headache so bad that she couldn't stay there any longer and had to go home.

But that's what made Nevaeh Wolfhart feel useless. She felt like she was nothing in this world compared to her big brother. Elijah was the hero in this Wolfhart story. He may have his head stuck in the stars most days but his feet were planted on the world long enough to make him undeniably brave. If there was anyone that could save them, it was Elijah.

So who was Nevaeh? What was she? Some days she didn't just feel like a person. She felt like nothing at all. She could have been invisible and nobody would notice. Not by Tobia, Elijah, Lewis, anyone. The days she felt like this could sometimes convince her she would be better off gone anyway. Other days Nevaeh just wanted to feel something other than an empty black hole with no end that she was falling deeper and deeper into. She pondered in the consideration if this was how her mother once felt before taking her life. No one could save her from it. Not even Elijah.

These were the days that Nevaeh would have to save herself.

She casts a glance across the room and straight to her secret. The house was silent which meant Nevaeh was alone. This was a gift she hasn't had since Elijah discovered her little problem when he took on Shane Lewis for her. Her family was scared to leave her on her own. It was an awful thing.

Nevaeh doesn't know if she's saving or destroying herself.

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It takes what feels like forever for Hopper to coax the boys and their new friend out of the abandoned bus in the open field. Elijah didn't exactly want to tag along this one time because that meant three things he hated would be there: a cop, kids, and the assholes that were the cause of his current nightmares trying to track down said kids. It just sounded like a recipe for disaster when you added the kids into the mix.

Dustin Henderson was a boy with a mop of curly brown hair that sticks out of a cap. He's the only one Elijah can name on the spot. He thinks he's seen him once only because he was in a club he once admired years ago in middle school. Dustin had a few friends that Elijah only knew because they were the younger brothers of his friends - Mike Wheeler, and Will Byers - if he were here. He didn't recognize the only black boy but he faintly remembers what little he knew about Will's friends and after ripping holes into his own memory, a name comes to mind. Lucas Sinclair.

The sight of her younger brother has Nancy bolting off of the Byers's family porch. The dangling light barely holds enough for them to see in the darkness, but given that Elijah would know Nevaeh's face anywhere, he knows Nancy would be able to do the same. He can tell by the way she cries out, "Mike, oh my God, Mike!" before she's close enough to embrace him.

Mike is wide-eyed with his older sister's arms around him as if it was a foreign concept between them. Elijah watches with a faint grin as the kid's arms loosely dangle at his side. He's speechless when Nancy pulls away only to grasp his shoulders and give him a gentle shake. "I was so worried about you!" She exclaims.

"Yeah, uh... Me too," Mike mumbles.

She hardly blinks at Mike's disinterest. Nancy's eyes only glaze past his head when another kid is revealed after Dustin steps aside and no longer acts as a shield. Elijah doesn't recognize this one and he doubts Will had ever talked about them. He can't tell if they're a boy or girl, not at first, given that their head was shaved, leaving their ears to stick out. Their brown eyes were like saucers that stared at the teenagers and adults in wordless terror. It's like they're studying them and judging every inch of their atoms. Elijah frowns and attempts to return the favor, but they're unreadable. He can only realize after he steps off the porch and gets a mere closer look that the strange kid was indeed a girl in a ruffled pink dress with a dirty white collar that seems too large for her.

"Is that my dress?" Nancy questions curiously.

"Are these the questions we should be asking right now?" Elijah mocks Hopper's words to them earlier. Every step he takes causes the small girl to turn her head, but he can see now that she wasn't judging who he was. She was peculiar and instead of finding it creepy, Elijah saw she was only baffled and afraid. He doesn't intend to frighten her more when he stares back. "What's your damage, Bambi?"

"Her name's Eleven. We call her El. Not Bambi," Lucas speaks up. It's the first time Elijah's heard him speak. "She's our friend." Elijah raises his eyebrows but doesn't reply. He liked his nickname for her better anyways. Who named their child after a number?

If Elijah wasn't a boy who believed in science with all of his broken heart and seen things no one his age ever should have, he would have told these kids to shove it when they take turns explaining what they pieced together on their own. He's actually leaning forward in interest, hanging onto every word given.

"... Okay, so, in this example, we're the acrobat." Mike lifts the lined piece of paper that he drew a red line across. The top half has a stick figure while the bottom has a tiny bug scribbled across the open space. "Will and Barbara, and that monster, they're this flea. And this is the Upside Down, where Will is hiding." He crosses the paper's bottom half. "Mr. Clarke said the only way to get there is through a rip of time and space."

"A gate," Dustin corrects.

"That we tracked to Hawkins Lab," Lucas adds.

"With our compasses."

"Wait." Elijah sits straighter. "A gate?"

The memory of the pill bottle he found in Nevaeh's room hits him like a train. HAWKINS, LABORATORY - EXPERIMENT 0022. It all made sense now and the truth was awful. What he lived through was what Nevaeh saw in her nightmares. But what if they were as real as his experience? What if the pills acted like a gate in some messed up way?

All eyes suddenly land on the Wolfhart boy who fell silent. He didn't know if revealing so could put Nevaeh in danger, but one look at Jonathan breaks his heart. His brother was missing. If Nevaeh was, Elijah would rip a hole through the Earth if it meant finding her.

"Is it your sister?" Joyce asks quietly when she notices his hesitation. Elijah feels her hand squeeze his knee a second after.

"The pills she's been taking. The drugs," Elijah whispers. "It all makes sense. Those are her gate."

Eleven blinks at him. All she says is, "No."

The single word causes Elijah's head to snap towards her. Her face is blank, unreadable. "What're you talking about?"

"'Vaeh... Wolfhart," Eleven stammers. She clumsily stumbles through her words. "Exper... Experiment 0022. Pills not gate." She locks her gaze with Elijah and taps her head. "Mind. Dreams - real. But not gate."

Elijah struggles to understand what Eleven was trying to tell him. He rubs his palm across his forehead tiredly as a pounding in his skull appears. The pills weren't a gate. They were just giving her an ability for every time she sleeps. Nevaeh Wolfhart could walk through her dreams in a terrible, terrible place. A part of her could be made of The Upside Down. But the pills worked like a drug, which spiked through her veins and led to an addiction. She hated them all while she wanted more.

"But this gate - the real gate - it has a really strong electromagnetic field and that can change the direction of a compass needle," Dustin explains thoroughly.

Elijah lowers his hand, tries to clear his head until it's cloudy, and nods. He seems to be the only one who understands what Dustin means. The adults adjacent to him only stare back in confusion, all except Hopper, who asks, "Is this gate underground?"

"Yes," Eleven replies with a nod.

"Near a large water tank?"

"Yes."

Dustin crosses his arms over the coffee table to peer closer at the Chief. "How - how do you know all that?"

"He's seen it," Mike whispers.

The suggestion is confirmed by the silence they receive from Hopper. Elijah fought the powerful urge to roll his eyes. That's why the Chief had been so interested in his little monster hunting trio instead of why they were arrested. Elijah wondered if he even cared about Will. How important was this to someone in charge of police, a pig like him? Did he think this was all only a game?

Joyce pretends the men discussing water tanks and gates don't exist because while it involves Will, it isn't entirely about him. Her mind can't wander far from her missing son. Her hands give a shake as she desperately asks Eleven, "Is there any way that you could... That you could reach Will? That you could talk to him in this - "

"The Upside Down," Eleven finishes. She nods. Elijah could put his own head through a wall in frustration - who would put a child through something so horrifying? He was only there for a few minutes, was chased by a creature, and still would see himself there every time he shut his eyes or stayed in the dark for too long. Eleven was younger than him. What was she possibly forced to do in that lab?

Elijah feels he's the only one in the room that feels so when Nancy finishes for Joyce, questioning, "And my friend Barbara? Can you find her too?" Eleven only nods silently again.

This only makes Elijah feel worse every minute they prepare Eleven to use whatever ability her friends claimed she had. It wouldn't be so farfetched from what he's seen before, but no child her age should have to do this much for adults. He can see how afraid she is when they circle her in the Byers's kitchen and watch with intensity as she places both hands on the table, shuts her eyes, and listens to the static that radiates from the speaker of Will's walkie. The feeling doesn't fade even when the static noise increases and the lights above them flicker as if Eleven really does have an effect on it.

The sound fades when Eleven surrenders and opens her eyes. The brown in them are full of fright as she whispers, "I'm sorry."

Joyce starts to panic and squeezes her son's hand resting over her shoulder. "Wh-what? What's wrong? What - what happened?"

The kid's eyes fill with tears. "I can't find them," she cries.

Elijah frowns when her voice cracks. He leans across the edge of the table to gently lay his hand over the sleeve of Eleven's jacket. She flinches under his palm and his heart squeezes with so much emotion that the organ could explode. She reminded Elijah of Nevaeh too much. A scared, frightened girl, having seen the worst of the world long before they should have. It provides Elijah with such a protective feeling. He wants to be a cloak that can shield her from anything else, the same way he does for Nevaeh.

"It's okay. It's okay," he reassures her softly. Elijah doesn't dare squeeze her arm even if he thought it'd be comforting in fear Eleven would feel unsafe. She looked so, so tired, and beaten like she was being destroyed. "You can breathe, Bambi. Rest."

Joyce shakes Jonathan's hand off of her and tries to stand. Elijah notices how her knees buckle and she has to place her hands on the table to keep herself upright. "He's right, honey." She turns her head to Elijah. "Eli, would you bring her to the bathroom? Let her clean up a bit?"

"Of course." Elijah smoothed his thumb down Eleven's arm until he can grasp her hand. It's so much tinier than his and is almost swallowed whole. He doesn't exactly know what it is that makes Eleven trust him so fast, but she does. His older brother instinct must have kicked in. She presses herself into Elijah's side and lets him guide her a room or two away. He opens the bathroom door for her. "You can clean up in the sink. And remember to just breathe, okay?"

"Okay." Eleven passes Elijah but stops in the doorway. She slowly turns to look at him again and holds a curious look. "Bambi?"

It takes Elijah a long pause to process Eleven was asking a question that she couldn't form words to. She must not have been taught a lot of language development. "Oh, Bambi? Are you asking why I called you that?" Eleven nods. "Oh, it's this cartoon thing - movie? It's about a deer." Eleven only looks more confused so he tries to smile. "An animal with big doe eyes like yours always look as if they're caught in headlights, freckled spots... Sweet, timid. Shy. I think my sister owns the movie. Maybe you can see it sometime. See what it's about."

Eleven barely catches most of Elijah's words but she still hangs on to every single one thrown at her. She does perk when Elijah mentions Nevaeh. "Sister," she repeats his earlier phrase. "Like Nancy."

"Almost. Nevaeh's the one younger than me." Elijah smiles and gently pats her shoulder. He feels a spark of joy when Eleven doesn't jump at the touch. "I know you don't trust a lot of the adults here. I can see why, too. But you're not a weapon here. We would never treat you like one," he promises. "So go get yourself clean, Bambi."

Elijah intends to give her privacy and shut the door, but Eleven's hand shot out and stops the knob before it can click. She doesn't have to say anything or protest. Elijah can see the fear when she stares at him through the crack desperately. He'd never force her to shut herself in a small, enclosed room. Elijah only waits outside until she's ready.

He hears the tap water run for a bit. Elijah wouldn't dare betray the trust Eleven already has in him to peek and see if she's alright. He waits, arms folded, wordless until she appears again after a few splashes of water. The droplets still speckle her cleaner skin, but she doesn't say a word. Elijah clamps his mouth shut when she clasps his hand again and leads him to the kitchen again.

No one has barely moved. Elijah can see the confusion, the panic, as they try to figure it out on their own. But Eleven already had. She drops Elijah's hand and quietly states, "The bath."

"What?" Joyce asks as she turns in the wooden chair.

"I can find them," Eleven confirms, "In the bath."

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A bath seems like such a simple thing to make. Every house has one. Eleven must have been inspired by the tub she saw in the Byers's bathroom. What, were they supposed to run a bath she can drift in that'll help her track Will and Barbara in The Upside Down? Elijah figured it wasn't that simple until Eleven maps out as best as she could what she exactly meant after learning it in Hawkins Lab.

The first person that popped into Dustin's mind of who could help them was Mr. Clarke from their special AV Club. He managed to get the answer after mentioning something about keeping the curiosity door locked. It would have been funny if they didn't need 1,500 pounds of salt. Nobody there had it because who the hell carries that shit - but fortunately, unfortunately for Elijah, Hopper knew where they could find it. That just meant they were all going to have one long night at Hawkins Middle School.

Elijah wasn't looking forward to it, but he was hoping to get the chance to send that monster back to Hell.

What they come up with is homemade compared to what Eleven must have been used to. Jonathan retrieves the salt with Hopper, Mike searches for hoses to screw on fountains with Nancy, Joyce helps Eleven prepare, while Elijah struggles to open a stupid kiddie pool with Lucas and Dustin. The water they fill it with has to be a perfect temperature and the salt they fill afterward has to pass the floating egg test Dustin conducts.

Eleven waits until Mike sets up a walkie on a short table. Elijah admires the bravery such a small girl carries as she rolls her striped socks off her feet and unfastens the watch that Mike puts on his own wrist. Joyce hands Eleven a pair of goggles with the lens covered in duct tape to tug over her eyes. Elijah wishes he could say more than tell her she isn't a weapon. He can't imagine how frightened she is, but she's been taught to not show it. As a boy who could never hide an emotion, he couldn't possibly understand what she felt.

The water gently laps around Eleven's knees as she sinks further inside the crystal liquid. The pink skirt starts to spread across the surface as she lowers herself. Elijah doesn't know what makes her shake more - the water or the knowledge of The Upside Down. But Eleven attempts to still herself as she lays on her back and allows the water to carry her. Her skinny kneecaps bob as she floats with her arms spread like wings.

Elijah starts to second guess everything they knew. He wants to tug the little girl out of the water who is much too young to be doing this for them and pretend nothing was wrong until all their troubles went away. He almost thinks for a minute that Eleven isn't up to handle something like this and parts his lips to let these troubles pass along, but Hawkins Middle School gym lights above them suddenly flicker. The electricity that powers the whole school begins to surge so vibrantly they can hear it through the walls. They don't dare speak in fear of distracting Eleven as their plunged into a darkness that couldn't compare to the one inside her mind.

It only takes minutes, but Elijah's gut gives him the feeling of hours. His knees start to ache from being crouched for so long. It's difficult for a boy like him to stay still instead of constantly moving. It's even hard to keep his mouth shut. Elijah hates the dead silence and it grows when the bulbs start to flare again. Eleven shudders below them.

"What's going on?" Nancy whispers.

Mike shakes his head. "I don't know."

"Is Barb okay? Is she okay?" Nancy interrogates hopefully.

The girl is trembling in a way that causes the water to ripple around her form. "Gone," she sobs, "Gone!"

Elijah's heart sinks. Nancy's hand slaps over her mouth. She's suddenly sandwiched between Jonathan and Elijah who envelop the girl who bursts into tears from both sides. Elijah presses his cheek against her shoulder, his arm meeting Jonathan as they grasp her from the middle. Nancy tries to quiet her grieving sobs as she buries her face into Jonathan's neck and twists her wrist to clutch Elijah's hand, locking their fingers until they make one fist.

Eleven's voice raises until she's nearly screaming, "Gone! Gone!"

She starts to thrash and makes waves below her. Joyce immediately lunges and grips Eleven's arms. "It's okay, it's okay," she shushes like a lullaby over the shouts. "We're right here, honey. It's okay. I got you. Don't be afraid. I'm right here with you." Eleven lets out a few cries but starts to relax. Joyce rubs her wet sleeve. "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," she repeats. "You're okay, honey."

Eleven's shouts fall to softer whimpers which turn into shallow breaths. Her small fingers slip away from Joyce as the water calms too. She stirs a tad before whispering, "'Vaeh..."

Elijah lifts his head and feels Nancy's grip loosen. "Nevaeh?" He echoes. He releases Nancy to grasp at the pool's rim. "You see Nevaeh?"

"She runs... Running towards something." Eleven shifts. Sounds confused, concerned. "Searching." Elijah desperately tries to decipher what she means without pushing her further.

There's only one way Nevaeh would be in The Upside Down.

And Elijah blames himself for it. He releases a quivering breath as the guilt swarms him. It hurts his chest to even breathe, swallow. Nevaeh wasn't going to give up as he hoped. She relapsed the second they parted. Elijah doesn't know why anymore - was her addiction winning the fight? Or was she the one caving in to find Will? Elijah had tried so hard to protect Nevaeh from the world while saving it, forgetting he couldn't do both at the same time no matter how much he wanted.

"Eli," Jonathan whispers from Nancy's side.

Suddenly, Elijah is the one they have to hold together before the pieces shatter. He numbly feels the pair try to clutch at him, but it's too late. Elijah Wolfhart had felt a blow to the chest like no other. This was how he would be broken beyond repair by choosing to save the world or protecting Nevaeh from it. And the world, well, it was waiting.

"Castle Byers," Eleven gasps out. A stretch of silence passes. And then, "Will."

Either the wind is knocked from Joyce's lungs or she gasps so loud it stings. Jonathan had become frozen like a statue. "Tell him... Tell him I'm coming," Joyce pleads. "Tell him mom is coming."

The walkie filled with static. A quiet voice is barely audible over it, but it's so recognizable that everyone catches Will Byers's soft, "Hurry."

"Okay, listen... You tell him to stay where he is. We're coming. We're coming, okay?" Joyce panics anxiously. She strokes the short hair on Eleven's head. "We're coming, honey."

The static starts to disappear and is replaced with low growling. The hairs on the back of Elijah's neck stand straight from the shiver that shoots through his spine. He'd know that noise anywhere. The creature that hunted him was there and that meant it found Will.

A shout of terror bubbles from Eleven's throat as she suddenly rips off the goggles and shot straight up. The water splashes over the edge from the force, but she doesn't notice, panting as her wide brown eyes flicker across the room as if she was trying to convince herself she was truly here in the real world.

Joyce quickly crouches behind her and embraces the soaking, horrified girl. "Oh, okay, okay. I've got you. It's okay, I got you. I got you, honey. You did so good," she eases her. She gently presses her cheek over Eleven's head and questions, "Are you okay?"

Eleven only sobs.

As does Elijah, who can barely keep his cries contained against Nancy who rubs soft circles into his back. He was a boy who was taught emotions were some of the most important things in this world and he had to let them loose instead of bottling them up. Elijah silently wishes then and there that grief was less of something that you are and instead something you could carry and shove away.

Elijah then wondered if he could grieve the loss of someone still alive.

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author's note:

elijah: *hates kids*

also elijah: "i have known eleven for five minutes but if anything happens to her i will kill everyone and then myself"

the soon brotp between eli & eleven & nevaeh is coming. they'll be the protective big siblings. yeah and again elijah's big brother instinct is the cutest. based on my own big sister instinct which is not as cute buuuuut whatever. what is cute tho is the BRAND NEW synopsis layout i have! check it out!

also that badass hunting trio of eli, jonathan, nancy (then soon to be steve) which is definitely gonna be in the next chapter. i'm thinking roughly twoish chapters before act one is finished. i have so much for you guys to see elijah in season two's action.

i tried to include steve being less of an asshole here and his and nevaeh's quick povs so i hope that shift made sense. i'm also sorry if this chapter wasn't as pretty as my other ones. i really wanted to get it out & it's all uphill from here. sort of.

thank you if you've read this far. you guys are amazing! i appreciate all the support and everything! you all da best. elijah is super important to me. i love writing his story for everyone.

- koda

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