Broken.

chapter twenty eight , The Olive Theory

a/n : *CONTENT WARNING* sexual content! Skip if you're uncomfortable!

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"But you said everything was okay..."

Emery and Amaya were sitting on one side of the table while their parents were sitting on another. Amaya's eye were glassy and her hands were shaking.

"We just wanted there to be good news—"

"So, you lie to us?" Amaya raises her brows.

"Maya..." Emery grabs her sisters hand. Amaya forces her eyes on Emery's soft ones.

"They needed time to process this too." Emery's tone was gentle and approaching.

"And we could've done that," Amaya starts. "together as a family." She looks at her parents. "We...we're not kids anymore!—Emery's 26. I'm going to Princeton!"

And just like that, their parents faces switch from guilty to happy. "Amaya that's amazing!" Amara exclaims.

"I knew you could do it." Elijah smiles. "My smart girl."

Amaya inhales a breath. "When do you start chemo?"

Amara and Elijah look at each other.

"What?" Amaya snaps. Emery pulls her brows together, also noticing the secret look shared between the parents.

"Elijah, has decided he doesn't want to do chemo."

Emery's eyes slightly widen, "Dad—"

"You can't not do chemo!—You'll die!"

Amara looks away, almost like she was ashamed. But, Elijah doesn't. He looks right at them. Emery's chest tightens, "You do know that there's a higher possibility of you dying, right? With this being your second time having your cancer come back..."

"I do."

"So, you're just giving up?"

"Amaya." Emery's tone was quiet but you could hear the firmness in it. Amaya snaps her teary eyes over at her sister. And Emery's heart breaks from the desperation. Amaya wanted Emery to back her up. Emery looks back at her father, ready to convince him to do chemo. But then she saw his eyes. Like she really looked into them. And she saw that he was scared. He didn't want to die, but he also didn't want to spent what could be his last few years fighting a battle he most likely won't win.

A lump forms in Emery's throat and her hands begin to shake again. She rubs her palms against her jeans. Emery had to stay strong. That's what she needed to be. Like always. She just didn't want to hurt anyone in the process.

I'm sorry, Amaya.

"Have you thought about this?"

Amaya looks at Emery, "What are you—"

"I have."

Emery slightly leans forward. "Like, have you really thought about this?"

Elijah grabs Emery's hand, never breaking eye contact. "I have thought about this for a long time. Way before I even found the lump."

Emery's throat tightens and her eyes begin to fill with tears. "Then I support you. In whatever decision you make."

"No!"

"Emerson." Amara's voice was stern but shaky.

"If dad thought about this, then I support him." Emery manages a small smile. "100%."

...

"What the hell?"

"Language, Amaya." Amara says. "But, yes, Emerson—what the hell?"

"Guys, last time dad did chemo, he was like a shell of the person he was." Emery sighs. "Can you imagine what this time would be like?"

"Yeah, but he'll be here. Alive." Amaya says.

"No, he won't." Emery shakes her head. "Not really. Chemo is—"

"You were barely here for the chemo, Emerson." Amaya says. "That was when you were off, abandoning us for someone you were dating for two years!" Her voice cracks and tears slip out of her eyes. Emery's chest tightens. Amaya didn't mean what she was saying. That's what Emery wanted to think. But there had to be some truth to her words if she said it without hesitation, right?

"Why would you want dad to go through all of that again?" Emery asks, her voice calm. "He shouldn't have to, just because you guys want him to."

"We're his family, we should be worth fighting for!" Amaya snaps. She inhales a breath and keeps her eyes on her sister's. "You know what? Screw this."

"And Screw you."

She shoves back Emery and walks out of the apartment. Amara lets out a small breath, "Why couldn't you just...side with us?"

"I already told you—"

"Yeah, and you know how much this family needs him." Amara states. "I need him."

Amara walks away from her daughter. And a heavy weight is felt against Emery's chest. She looks down at her shaking left hand. Emery uses her other hand to squeeze it in a painful manner. Tears burn in Emery's eyes and she inhales a shaky breath. She grabs her bag and leaves the apartment.

Once Emery got to work, she was quiet. I'm her own head. But that was cut short when she was pulled into Bobby's office.

"A-Are you serious?"

Bobby presses his lips into a smile and he nods his head. He stands up from his seat and holds a hand out to her. "Congratulations, Lieutenant Sharpe."

Emery's chest flutters and a smile forms in her lips. "Th-Thank you, Captain." She shakes his hand. "I promise you. I won't let you down."

"I know you won't." Bobby nods. "Now, let's tell everyone the big news."

Emery nods her head. Bobby walks around the table and leaves the office. Emery chuckles softly and pulls her brows together. A sense of pride forms in her chest.

As soon as it was announced that Emery was Lieutenant, everyone cheered and congratulated her. It was a nice distraction from the news about her father. But it still didn't get rid of the heavy feeling against her chest. That all too familiar feeling.

The team was sitting at the table, talking and laughing.

"Emery, I knew you could do it." Eddie says and touches her shoulder.

"Yeah, I mean, it took you a while but—"

"Shut up." Emery laughs and lightly pushes Buck. His heart jumps into his throat and he chuckles. He watches as Emery rolls her lips into her mouth and she focuses on the untouched omelette on her plate. He then pulls his brows together. Untouched food on Emery's plate was something that never happened. Worry blossoms in Buck's chest and he slightly leans closer to the girl.

"Hey, Emi."

Emery slightly turns her head and looks at Buck. "Yeah?"

"Are you—"

"I think I'm going to apply for Lieutenant."

Emery turns to her head to the woman in glasses. Buck watches as Emery pulls her brows together and she rolls her shoulders back. She normally did that when she was ready to argue. But Emery wouldn't do that. Not with Hen.

"Wait...what?" Emery laughs softly. She tilts her head. "But, I just became Lieutenant."

Hen shrugs, "Yeah, there can be more than one Lieutenant."

"I...I know that but, I just became lieutant." Emery presses the pads of her fingers against the table.

Hen pulls her brows together, noticing how worked up Emery was getting. "It's not that big of a deal, Em."

Emery's jaw clenches. The logical side of Emery told her to drop it. Let Hen apply for Lieutenant. It would be amazing having 2 women as Lieutenants in a predominantly men firefighter station. But another part of Emery. The part that wanted to distract herself from her own issues by causing other problems, wanted to be the only Lieutenant around (at least for a year).

"Okay, then don't apply."

Tom stops chewing and looks at Emery. Buck and Eddie look at each other before looking at Bobby, who was looking between Hen and Emery.

Hen snorts, "What?"

"You said it's not that big of a deal..." Emery leans back in her seat. "So, don't apply."

"Em, I'm applying."

Hen goes back to eating but then something unexpected happens. Emery scoffs. Then she laughs. Emery looks down at her plate. "Well, you shouldn't."

Tom's mouth opens. He's been here for a few months, so he's kind of used to the things that went on in this station. But Emery and Hen arguing was something that never happened.

"Excuse me?" Hen raises her brows.

"You have a wife and kid. Being a Lieutenant will take up more time." Emery shrugs. "Why would you want that?"

"And what about your family?"

Emery's chest tightens more than before thinking about her father. She scoffs and then cranes her neck forward. "Amaya is perfectly capable of watching herself. And she mostly hangs out at Toni's place. Other than that, I have no distractions."

Buck raises his brows but he chooses to stay silent.

"Hen, don't this, don't..."

Hen then squints her eyes. She didn't want to assume where Emery was going with her sentence. But she needed to hear her say it. "Don't what?"

Emery swipes her tongue across her lower lip. "Don't embarrass yourself."

There was silence at the table for a moment. Hen saw the look of unamusemwnt in Emery's eyes. She meant what she was saying.

"Okay!" Eddie claps his hands. "Maybe, we should all eat and stay quiet for the rest of lunch—"

"Don't embarrass myself?!" Hen shouts. "I am just as good of a firefighter as you are."

Emery snorts, "Yeah, okay." She takes a bite from her omelette.

"You think you're better than me?" Hen growls.

Emery shrugs her shoulders and continues to chew her food almost saying, "What do you think?"

"Guys, seriously, knock it off."

"I'll knock it off when Hen steps down." Emery snaps her eyes over to Hen. "Are you stepping down, Hen?"

Hen squints her eyes, seeing how serious Emery was. Hen had no idea what was going on with the girl, but she wasn't going to back down. "Hey, Cap?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"I'm applying for Lieutenant." Hen keeps her eyes on Emery. A smug smirk was on her lips.

Emery's jaw clenches and her grip on her fork tightens. A pain forms in the back of her throat and her eyes begin to burn with tears of frustration. Screw this. And screw all of them.

Then she softly chuckles and a smirk twitches onto her lips. "Well, then, good luck, Firefighter Wilson..." Emery stands up. "...you're gonna need it."

Hen runs her tongue across her teeth and shakes her head as Emery walks down the stairs. "I'm sorry, but when did Emery become such a..." she trails off her sentence and scoffs. "You know what? It doesn't matter." She looks at Bobby. "I want to go up for Lieutenant."

Bobby nods his head, "I'll put it into motion then."

Tom slightly opens his mouth and leans over to Eddie. "A-Are we just supposed to ignore what just happened or...?"

"It's safer for all of us not to talk about it." Eddie winces.

Buck was checked out of the conversation as everyone else continued to talk. He was focused on one person only. Buck stands up and rushes down the stairs. He looks around the lower level and sees Emery looking at her chore clipboard.

"Emerson."

Emery tenses but she keeps her eyes on the clipboard. "I'm busy—"

"What the hell was that up there?" Buck walks over to her.

Emery looks up at him with squinted eyes. "What was what?"

"You were being mean. Like really mean and it wasn't even towards me." Buck huffs.

Emery rolls her eyes, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"You're acting the same way you said you would act when you became Lieutenant." Buck states. "You said that after Helena—"

"Don't." Emery snaps. "Don't talk about her. You have no right."

Buck closes his mouth and exhales through his nose. "All right, then, how about this?"

"Emerson, we're your friends—your family." Buck emphasizes. A small breath escapes her lips from the last words. "And you just discouraged one of your very close friends to not follow a dream she wants to accomplish."

Emery folds her arms and looks off to the side. "You don't get it..."

"Then explain it to me!" He harshly whispers. "Because right now, all I'm seeing is an immature brat who never cared about any of her teammates."

Emery snaps her eyes over to Buck, anger rising in her with every second. He won't understand.

"One second. I got one second of recognition for becoming Lieutenant." Emery snaps. "And as soon as Hen becomes Lieutenant she'll get all the praise and I'll be on the bottom, like usual." She scoffs. "I don't—I can't lose. I don't want to..." she trials off her sentence, not finishing it. I don't want all of this to be for nothing.

Buck looks at Emery with his brows raises. "Oh wow..."

"What?"

"You really lost sight of what it means to be a Firefighter, huh?"

Emery pulls her brows together. "What, no—"

"No, you only care about reaching the top. Not the people in need." Buck says. "Did you ever care about that, or was it always about the news tabloids and interviews for you—"

"Fuck you, Buck." Emery growls. "I knew you wouldn't understand."

"I forgot what it means to be a firefighter—I know!" She snaps. "I know that I put everyone else's needs before my own, even outside of the job. I am not here for the interviews or news—"

"That's not the way that I see it—"

"Because you don't know me!" Emery cries out. A deafening silence settles between them. Emery's breathing was heavy and her eyes her glassy. "You do not know me, okay?" And I really thought you did.

Buck pulls his brows together, watching Emery's body language grow small and her eyes filled with hurt. He shifts his stance, feeling bad about how he spoke to her. Emery clears her throat. The alarm blares through the station. It snaps Emery out of her weak state. Her shaky and teary eyes harden. She quickly wipes at her nose and brushes past him.

☆

Los Angeles' 911 system had gone dark.

There was a wide outage for 911's operating system. Which meant that the 118 was going to be in the rig all day, no stops at the station. That also meant that there was going to be immense awkward silence between Hen and Emery. Which also meant that everyone else was going to be socially affect by that.

Hen's eyes were trained on the trees passing by her window. Emery was picking at her turnout gear in a nonchalant manner, not caring about the tension in the air.

Buck clears his throat, hoping to distract everyone. "Hey, cap! You ever seen a breakdown like this before?"

Emery and Hen snap their eyes over to Buck. "Excuse me?"

Buck's jaw goes slack, "I-I meant the outage. Not...your guys' friendship...imploding—"

Eddie nudges Buck's arm, telling him to stop talk. Hen and Emery look at each other, then they go back to what they were previously doing.

"Once in St. Paul." Bobby speaks. "Blizzard took out the power grid around the call center and backup generator."

"I went through one of these before." Emery speaks, her eyes now on Buck. "It gets easier over time."

"I've been through, like, three of these." Hen then speaks, almost (not almost, actually) challenging the curly-haired girl.

Emery snaps her squinted eyes over to Hen. Thomas was driving the fire engine and he still felt uncomfortable. She keeps her eyes on Hen for a moment before letting out a soft breath and looking back at her hands. Almost like Hen wasn't worth it.

"I'm surprised they don't happen more often. The way the city finds us. Department's held together by chewing gum and spit." Hen continues, getting more passed by the second.

"Hey, come on, I like these old trucks."

"Yeah? I like 'Em when they run."

"Which is almost never." Emery voices.

Eddie points at Emery, agreeing.

...

The entire day has been hectic. From getting called to the same scenes that other stations were already at to seeing new mother's come back from the dead. Watching the mom be reunited with her Husband and newborn made Emery happy. But she couldn't help and think about a future she had lost due to losing Helena. After the news about having to be ready to lose her father, Emery has been thinking about everyone she has lost. It was honestly exhausting.

The team had to go back to the station to fuel up. Emery hops out of the fire engine and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She walks into the locker rooms and sits on the bench, her eyes glued to her phone. Emery looks at her text messages to Amaya that still went unanswered.

A small breath of defeat escapes Emery's lips and frustration fills her body. This was a stressful time for the Sharpe family. If they were all going to get through this, they have to do it together. Emery needed her family if she was going to get through this. But now they were on different sides of a line. And neither Amaya nor Amara wanted to hear Emery out.

Why was this family so fucking stubborn?

How was Emery supposed to be there for the rest of her family if they weren't wanting to talk to her?

Suddenly, her phone rings. Emery takes her hands off her eyes and practically dives for her phone. She answers the phone.

"Amaya?"

"Hey, Emerson."

Emery lets out a small breath. "I've been texting and calling you." She stands up.

She receives no answer. Emery slowly nods her head, "And I'm guessing you just chose to ignore them?"

"I called you for a reason."

Emery scratches her brow, "Okay, what's up? Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"I just wanted to tell you that...I'm leaving my key on the table for you."

"Your key? Like your apartment key?" Emery paces back and forth. "Amaya could you explain further, please?"

"I'm moving back in with mom and dad."

Emery's chest tightens. "Oh..."

"I just want to spend as much time with him as possible before he..." Amaya trails off her sentence and you can hear the shakiness in her voice. It causes Emery's chest to hurt. "Maya—"

"And since you're fine with letting him go without a fight..."

"Wait, what—stop—"

"—and I'm sure you want more alone time with your boyfriend—"

"Amaya, stop talking—"

"So, I'm gonna get out of your hair and leave you alone. Just the way you like it. Just the way you have always liked it—"

"Amaya Louise Sharpe, shut the fuck up!" Emery raises her voice.

The line goes silent and Emery closes her eyes. "Do you really think that I'm letting him go without a fight?"

"Yes, I do."

Emery inhales a shaky deep breath and wipes at her eyes, tears blurring her vision. "How dare you? How fucking dare you? All I did was fight for him to do chemo last time—"

"Yeah, last time. This isn't that—"

"Dad was barely there when he did chemo last time." Emery cuts Amaya off. "Do you really want to guilt trip him into doing chemo again, just for his last couple years to be miserable?!" Her voice begins ti shake. "You and mom are so selfish."

"Selfish?!—"

"Yes, selfish!" Emery snaps. "Do you really think you're going to get your spontaneous dance parties, if dad starts chemo—especially this late?"

Amaya hesitates and her stomach turns.

"He's not gonna be present." Emery shakily whispers. "He'll be a shell of the man we've grown to love."

Silence settles over the phone and Emery sighs. "I shouldn't have called you selfish...I'm sorry."

"No...no you're right."

"I think it might be best if you stayed at mom and dad's."

Amaya's heart sinks. Emery wipes under her eye and sighs. "And it's not because of our disagreement." She sighs. "I think you really should stay with them to spend time with dad."

"What about you?"

Emery purses her lips, "Oh, please. I'm back in your guys lives now and you're not getting rid of me that easily."

Amaya's heavy guilt doesn't lessen, but she does manage a small laugh. "I like of expected that."

"I have to go, but...maybe you could talk to mom and tell her I've been trying to reach her?" Emery asks, bunching her shoulders.

Amaya presses her lips into a smile, "I'll see what I can do."

"I'm sorry, I yelled at you, Emery."

Emery's lower lip quivers. "Ah, it happens." She speaks in a light tone, despite her on the verge of tears.

"I should get back to work." Emery clears her throat.

"Yeah, of course. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Maya."

Emery ends the call and looks at her phone for a second. Her body begins to shake and her quiet breathing changes into quick short breaths. Emery tosses her phone to the ground and covers her eyes, tears staining the palms of her hands. She exhales a soft cry. Even though she was able to talk to Amaya, her feelings were still left unresolved. The way Amaya was able to turn on her so quickly and leave? Some of the things Amaya said to her, she said without hesitation. So, there had to be some truth to her words, right?

"And since you're fine with letting him go without a fight..."

Did Amaya really think Emery wanted her father to die?

"Hey, Em, you ready to..."

The girl's panic rises from the sudden voice. She quickly wipes at her eyes. "We ready to go?" She stands up and turns to the new firefighter, who slightly opens his mouth.

"Are you...okay?"

Emery presses her lips into a small smile. "I'm fine, Probie."

"You're crying." Tom blows air out of his mouth. "Look, uh, if it means anything. I'm sure if you just apologize to Hen, she'll forgi—"

"Apologize?"

Tom stops talking and focuses on the unbothered expression across her face. She then chuckles, "Why would I have to apologize?"

"Because you said Hen applying for Lieutenant was going to just end up with her embarrassing herself."

Emery scoffs and looks off to the side.

"Hen wasn't trying to take the spotlight off of you, Miss Sharpe." Tom softly speaks, taking a step towards her. "You just gave her enough courage to go after a dream she's wanted for years now too."

Emery's chest tightens and so does her jaw. A sudden ping of guilt settles into her stomach. Tom bites his lower lip, "We're getting ready to head out again." He grabs the phone off the ground and holds it out to her.

Emery grabs onto the phone. She presses her lips into a small smile. "Thanks, I guess..."

Tom keeps his hand on the phone and his face grows hot. Her brown eyes gleam a look of gratitude. "Yeah, it's no problem—happy to help. I love helping." His face becomes red and his heart begins to ram against his ribcage.

"Fletcher! Sharpe! What's taking so..."

Emery turns her head to the dirty blonde haired boy standing in the doorway. His eyes shift to the phone atom and Emery were both holding. Tom slightly opens his mouth. "She, uh...dropped her phone. I was just giving it to her."

"How nice of you." Buck forces a small smile on his lips, but his chest flares with envy. Tom swallows, seeing the fury deep in Buck's eyes. He releases the phone. "I'm gonna go to the rig." Tom motions to the engine. "Right now."

Tom carefully walks past Buck and heads over to the engine. Buck turns to Emery and watches her slip her phone into her pocket. "What was that all about?"

Emery exhales sharply, "What was what?"

"You flirting with Tom."

Emery then laughs, "Right. Because that's how I flirt. By thanking people for picking up my fallen phone." She then turns to Buck with a look of annoyance. "I wasn't flirting with him, Buck."

Buck softly scoffs, "Right." He turns to walk away from her, but she walks over to him and grabs his arm. Emery turns to him, "What the fuck was that, huh?" Her voice was low and filled with a certain hint of anger.

Buck stares into Emery's brown shaky eyes. "Nothing—"

"You seriously think that I was trying to make a move on Tom? The Probie?" Emery scoffs. "He's my Probie."

"It's not like you haven't done it before." Buck snaps.

Emery stops talking and her stomach clenches. Buck watches as hurt immediately washes over Emery's face. She slightly opens her mouth and releases his arm. Like she was giving up. The cloud of anger disappears over the two and Buck realizes what happened.

What he said.

His eyes soften, but his chest tightens in a painful manner. Buck parts his lips and he reaches for her hand. "Emi—"

"Don't." Emery steps away from him. "I can't believe that you..." she looks away from him for a second and focuses her gaze on the fire engine. She sees the team all making their way back into the engine. Emery shakes her head and turns to him. "I didn't take advantage of you." She points at him.

Buck nods his head, "I know that. I didn't mean what I said, okay? I was just jealous—"

"Well, you shouldn't be. Because we're not together, remember?" She snaps. Buck closes his mouth. Emery burns her fiery brown irises into his soft blue guilt-ridden ones. She then scoffs and walks away, like this whole thing was a waste of time.

Buck's stomach turns. Was he a waste of time to her?

☆

Emery had her eyes glued to the window, over this whole entire day. She was over her sister and mom ignoring her calls and texts, she was over her stubbornness and not being able to apologize to Hen. But most of all, she was over Buck not trusting her. After being together for almost a year, he still couldn't trust her. It left her feeling sick. It made her lose confidence in everything.

Did she even want to continue being with someone who couldn't trust her?

Emery is snapped out of her thoughts by her phone vibrating in her pocket. Her heart jumps into her throat. Thinking it was her sister or mom, she hurriedly grabs her phone and pulls it out of her pocket.

Everyone notices the slight panic in Emery's body language. She looks at the caller I.D. and she pulls her brows together. Emery answers the phone, "Chim?"

"Hey, Em. Where are you guys?"

Emery blows air out of her mouth. She looks out the window and watches a sign past. "We're crossing Robertson..."

"For the 320th time." Eddie voices. Emery nods. "For the 320th time."

"Get over to Doheny Park. The whole damn neighborhood's on fire. Looks like it's a gas main leak."

Emery's jaw goes slack, "Shit, seriously?" Her back straightens. "Where'd you hear it from?"

"I'm watching it on the news right now. Nobody's over there, Emerson. Not a single unit."

"O-Okay, thanks, Chimney." Emery speaks. She ends the call and slips her headphones back on. "Captain, Doheny park is going up in flames! Chimney thinks it's a gas main break."

"We're close, right?"

"Close enough. Let's do it."

Bobby starts the siren and the fire engine's speed increases into the neighborhood. As soon as they got to the neighborhood, a man knocks on the door.

"Help, you've got to help!"

They all get out of the fire engine.

"You've gotta help—my son! He's trapped upstairs!"

"Do you know where?" Emery asks. "Which room?"

"No, no, I haven't seen him."

Eddie points at the window on the second floor. "Cap, I see him! Upstairs window!"

The house erupts in flames and Emery's eyes widen. The dad runs toward the house, but Eddie stops him.

"All right, Buck, Sharpe. Grab the ladder and get it to the house."

Emery and Buck run to the fire engine. Buck climbs on top of the fire truck and gets on the ladder. Emery presses the button, moving the ladder towards the window of the house.

"Help! I'm over here!"

Buck snaps his eyes over to the window, spotting the kid banging on the glass panes.

"Okay, kid—I just need you to hold on, okay?! Im coming for you!"

The ladder moves closer to the window. "I told you, everything's gonna be fine."

The ladder underneath Buck's boots begins to creak. The ladder gives way, causing Buck to falls. Emery's eyes widen and her breathing gets caught in her throat. "Buck!"

He grabs onto one of the metal pegs and hang onto what's left of the ladder. Emery lets out a small breath as soon as she sees Buck drop to the ground, unscathed.

☆

Emery pulls open the door and sighs. Buck keeps his eyes on the ground for a moment, embarrassed. Then he lifts his guilt-ridden eyes towards Emery's distance one's. "Hi."

Emery's back straightens, "Hello, Buck."

Buck softly chuckles at Emery's attempt at being aloof. "Is it okay if I come in?"

"I don't know..." Emery shrugs. "I don't want to take advantage of you or anything."

Buck's chest tightens. "I'm sorry for saying that." He says. "And I know we're not together together. But I was still jealous, because..."

Emery runs her tongue across her teeth. "Because?"

Because I'm fucking crazy about you. And I want you to be mine.

"Because Tom seems like a great guy." Buck looks to the side. "Better than me. And...I thought you would leave for someone better."

Emery bites the inside of her cheek. She then arches a brow, "Buck, anyone is better than you." She sighs. Buck softly chuckles and Emery manages a small smile.

"Come in." She steps aside. Buck's entire body relaxes and steps into the apartment. Emery sputters her lips, "I'm horny."

Buck turns to her, "Dude, seriously?"

Emery raises her brows, "Uh, yeah. You groveling does something to me."

Buck blows air out of his mouth. "I wasn't groveling."

Emery tilts her head to the side and leans against the wall. She waits patiently for Buck to give in, like he always did. Buck's eyes travel up and down her body and his jeans tightens. "God, you're unbelievable." He stalks towards her and pulls her into a passionate kiss.

...

Emery pins Buck to the bed. He softly grunts but a laugh escapes his lips. An airy laugh comes from Emery's lips and she bites her lower lip. She presses a palm against Buck's chest and she keeps her dark eyes on Buck's. Ever since they've been having sex, Emery realized that Buck had an issue with giving up control.

And as someone who was all about taking charge, It pissed Emery off. "You know...one reason who might not want me to take charge is because you never were able to have control over your own life."

Buck slightly opens his mouth with his brows knitted together. Emery snickers from the shaken expression across Buck's face.

"You wanna be in control so bad that you have to call me out." Buck then laughs. "You want me that bad, sunshine?"

Emery scrunches her nose and shakes her head. "Don't. Don't you fucking start with that..."

Emery hated the nickname sunshine. Especially since she was anything but sunshine.

Buck grips her waist and quickly switches positions, so he was now on top. He cocks his head to the side and stares at her with a smug expression. Emery squints her eyes, "You're really boring, you know that?"

Buck pouts his lower lip. "Oh, come on, Princess, you don't mean that."

Emery wrinkles her nose. "And These pet names are stupid." She looks off to the side. Emery inhales a breath, ready to admit defeat. Then she thinks. The only way she was gonna get Buck to actually be interested in the idea is if she made it sound good.

Emery smirks, she could do that.

"You really don't want to know what it's like...?"

Buck focuses back on Emery's face and he watches as she keeps her brown eyes burning into his. His jaw goes slack from the look of lust across her face. She then quirks a brow.

"You don't want to know what it's like to give up all control to me?" She tilts her head and trails a hand up the small of his back. "You're not curious about how good I can make you feel?" Emery slightly lifts herself up and she ghosts her lips over his. Buck's breathing heavies and his jeans begin to tighten. Emery wets her lower lip with her tongue.

"Because if you think that I can make you feel good when you're in control..." Emery chuckles. "Oh, baby, you ain't see nothing yet."

Buck's face begins to grow hot. Baby? That was one nickname, he could get used to. Especially if it was coming from Emery's lips.

Emery slightly pulls her lips from his and Buck sucks in a sharp breath. He could've sworn that a small whine was about to leave his lips. Buck let's out a breath, "Emi..."

She bites her lower lip and smiles. "There he is." She then tilts her head and cups the side of his neck. "What is it, Evan?"

Buck could just feel it. He could feel his need to give her all control. Buck has never in his life felt this way. His hands rise to Emery's thighs and he grips them.

"I want you—"

"Want?" Emery tilts her head and pulls her brows together. Buck swallows and his breathing falls ragged.

"I need you to sit on my face." Buck moves his hands up so he could cup her neck. "Emi, please."

Emery chuckles, with her breathing quick. She leans forward and kisses him. Buck expected the kiss to be rough. It was anything but. The kiss caused a calm to wash over him and his stomach began to flutter. He tasted a small hint of honey against her lips.

Emery swipes her tongue across his lower lip which causes a chill to rush down his spine. He parts his lips and Emery slips her tongue into his mouth. Buck breathes against her lips. Emery locks her ankles around Buck's waist and flips him into his back. Buck softly grunts and Emery stares down at him.

Buck sits up and begins unbutton her shorts. Emery presses her palm against his chest and pushes him back into the bed. She clicks her tongue, "What'd we agree on?"

Buck inhales a shaky breath and his erection hardens. "Fuck, Em."

"I know, I know..." she softly speaks. "I've got you."

Even though Buck was aroused, Emery's energy caused him to relax. His heart begins to flutter and his face grows hot.

"I trust you." Buck whispers.

Emery's chest begins to flutter from those words. She pushes away the giddy feeling. And she pulls her shorts down along with her panties. "Okay, we're gonna start slow." She lets out a breath. "You okay with that?"

Buck absentmindedly nods his head. "Yeah—yes." He speaks, pent up. Emery crawls over Buck, her middle hovering over his face. Buck's mouth practically starts to water, anxiously waiting for Emery.

"Emi, please..." he grips her thighs. Emery chuckles, she slowly lowers herself down to Buck's mouth and he licks her slit. Emery's eyes flutter shut and she inhales a small breath. Buck softly moans and vibrates Emery's clit. She tilts her head to the ceiling and chuckles. Buck parts his lips and licks across Emery's clit.

Emery's breathing heavies as Buck continues to move his mouth against her. She inhales a breath, staying strong and lifts herself up. Then a small whine escapes Buck's lips which causes her to laugh.

"Emerson, please." He keeps a grip on her thighs. Emery nods her head, "I know, Buck." She inhales a breath. "But I have a question."

"What is it?" Buck speaks, breathlessly.

"Is this the first time you've felt like this?"

Buck pulls his brows together. "Like what?"

"Like you're losing your fucking mind without me?"

A small groan leaves Buck's lips as all the blood leaves his body and rushes to his cock.

"God, Emi, I'm always losing my mind without you." Buck breathes. Emery's core aches and she exhales a breath.

"I need to taste you again, please." Buck whispers.

Emery lowers herself back against Buck's mouth and he exhales a small moan. She tilts her head up to the ceiling and softly laughs from the pleasure. Buck's hands tighten around her thighs and she moans. Emery slowly rolls her hips against Buck's mouth. A small groan comes from his lips, which causes a vibration to hit Emery's clit. She softly gasps and a laughs escapes her lips.

Buck raises his hands to grip Emeey's ass and he pulls her down closer to him. Emery's hand flies to the headboard. "Evan..." she slightly pulls herself up, afraid to suffocate him. Buck keeps a strong grip on Emery, telling her it was worth it. A warmth reaches Emery's face and she slowly relaxes.

"You're doing such a good job for me." Emery tilts her head back. Buck softly moans from the words of praise. It was something he's never experienced. But he couldn't get enough of it. He raises a hand and slides a finger into Emery's cunt, her moans increase. But she resists the urge to give into the pleasure. She grips his wrist and pulls it back, causing a small whine to come from his lips. Emery lifts herself off his face again and looks down at him, his face practically shining from her arousal across him. Buck didn't mind not one bit. If he could, he would die between Emery's thighs.

Seeing Emery on top of him with such ease and yet such intensity. Buck knew that's where she belonged. Why was he never given into her like this before?

"Why'd we stop?"

Emery inhales a breath and chuckles. "Hands to yourself..." she reaches down and tangles a hand in his hair. "That's the only way you're going to get me, okay?"

Buck swallows, but he nods his head. Emery lowers herself back down into Buck's face and he continues to eat her out. Her moans her soft and so were his. This entire situation caused Buck's cock to swell with blood, it hurt to even move. His lips wrap around her clit and his tongue flicks the nerve back and forth. Emery's moans increase and the warmth in her belly becomes hotter. "That's it, baby—that's it. You're doing so good."

Emery's ears begin to ring, but she continues to let words of praise fall from her lips, which encourages Buck to work his magic on her.

Soon, Emery felt her entire body begin to shake and she had let out a loud moan, reaching her climax. Buck quickly lapped up her arousal, not leaving a drop. He continues to eat her out, coaxing her through her orgasm and leading her into her second one.

At this point, Emery's eyes were squeezed shut and she was knuckling the headboard. She then lowers her hand down and tangles it into Buck's hair. "Oh, fuck."

As Emery begun to reach her second climax, Buck didn't let up with his attack on her; he couldn't get enough of her increasing cries of pleasure. God, he wanted to make her feel like this all the time. He wanted to be everything good for her.

Emery twitches into Buck's touch and Buck knew she was close. She tilts her head back as her 2nd orgasm washes over her. This one was a lot more intense, it caused her heartbeat to drown through her ears and her vision to go white. Her moans bounced across the walls and a warm gush of wetness runs down her thigh and Buck eagerly licks it up. Emery's body slumps and she's left breathing heavily. She pulls her leg off of Buck and lays on the bed. Buck looks at the girl and his heartbeat quickens, "Are you okay?"

Emery chuckles, she looks at Buck, and his eyes were already on hers. "I'm great." She quirks a brow. Buck licks his lips, still covered in her wetness (and he did not mind whatsoever). Emery watches as Buck hesitates. He had a question and she saw that across his face.

"What's up?" Emery pulls her brows together, she slightly sits up on her elbow and looks down at him.

Buck's face grows pink. "Did I...Did I do well?"

Emery raises her brows from Buck's shyness. She pouts her lower lip and chuckles. She leans forward and kisses him ever so gently. Buck's heart lurches and he cups her neck, kissing her back. "I don't want to do anything else..." he whispers against her lips. Emery pulls her brows together. "What? You sure?"

Buck cups her neck and traces her lower lip. Emery couldn't stop her stomach from fluttering. "It was nice..." he chuckles nervously. "...giving you what you want."

Emery bites her lower lip. "Sorry, about that by the way. Calling you 'baby'." She looks to the side. "The second time."

Buck tilts his head, "I've called you nicknames before."

"Yeah, but, that's different." Emery sighs. "Your nicknames are playful and when I said it, it felt...intimate."

"I mean, technically we are intimate." Buck voices.

Emery snorts, "I meant in the couple way. And we are..." she sucks in a breath. "...not that."

Buck's chest tightens, "Right." He chuckles. "I can't even imagine that."

Emery pulls away from Buck and softly snorts. She leans over the bed and grabs her bra from the ground. Buck tenses as Emery puts her shirt on. He didn't want this light to end. "Uh, hey, do you wanna get some takeout maybe?"

A small chuckle escapes Emery's lips and she looks at the hopeful Buck. Her smile drops. "Y-You're serious?"

"Why not?" Buck shrugs.

Emery deadpans, "Because that's not part of the deal." She grabs her maroon laced panties and slips them back on. "This is supposed to be just—"

"Sex. I know, I know. But I'm hungry." Buck whines.

Emery rolls her eyes and slips her jeans on. "Well, I don't see how that's possible since you already ate." She looks at him with a smirk.

Buck's heart beat quickens. A nervous laughs comes from his mouth. "Come on, look..." he scoots over to the girl and places his chin on her shoulder. "What's the worse that could happen?" His breath hits her ear.

A chill runs down her spine and she sucks in a soft breath. "Well, for one. We can't eat in silence. That's awkward. So, we're gonna have to talk and then we get to know each other. Then we start to see that we actually enjoy each other's company and start to have feelings." She turns to him their lips close to on another. Her eyes flit to his lips then back to his eyes. "This might be hard to believe, Buck. But I actually like having sex with you."

Even though it wasn't the exact 'like' Buck wanted to hear. It was something, right?

"Why ruin it?" Emery stands up and pulls her pants up.

Buck's lips sputter and he lays on his back, staring at the ceiling. He looks at Emery, "I'll pay."

Emery stops in her place and raises her brows. "Then again..." she looks at the smiling boy. "...it's just food, right? What does it matter?"

Buck laughs softly, "All right, what are you in the mood for?" He grabs his phone.

Emery sits back on the bed and gets rather close to Buck. His heart begins to race and his face gets hot. A smile forms on Emery's lips that makes Buck just want to wrap his arms around her and give her the biggest (boyfriend) kiss on the nose.

"I want a sandwich."

Buck blinks. "Like, you want me to make you one or—"

"No, I want one from a sandwich shop." Emery raises her brows.

Emery and Buck were sitting on the bed, eating their sandwiches in silence. Emery had stated she didn't want to talk, because she didn't want to learn anything about Buck. She didn't want Buck to learn anything about her.

"So..." Buck starts. "How's life been for you?"

Emery deadpans and Buck raises his hands. "It's just a question about life."

Emery arches a brow and Buck sighs. "Okay, just tell me about your day."

She sags her shoulders, giving in. "It was fine." She curtly answers. Buck chuckles, "You are something else."

"Yeah? And how has your day been?"

"Pretty good, actually. Maddie and I went to lunch, then she left to go be with her boyfriend."

"Okay, so it's not just me?" Emery crosses her legs, getting intrigued in the conversation. "Maddie and Chimney should be dating right now."

"They should." Buck nods, his brows raised. "But they're taking their time. Which I respect."

Emery arches a brow and slowly nods. "Yeah, it's kind of cute, actually. Slowly making their way to a couple."

Buck stares at Emery for a moment, watching her eat her sandwich. "Yeah..."

Emery inhales a breath. "I just recently found out I was on the spectrum."

Buck raises his brows, "Oh, wow."

"What?"

Buck smirks, "It just explains some things."

"It does, doesn't it?" Emery nods her head with her brows pulled together. She then raises them. "It's comforting ."

"I'm still kind of hungry."

Buck looks at the girls empty sandwich wrapper and chuckles. Emery snaps her eyes over to his, "Don't judge."

"I-I'm not judging." He holds his hands up. His eyes shift over to the olives he saved. He then looks back at Emery. The girl craved salty foods. Olives being at the top of her list. So, he happened to set aside the olives from his sandwich just for her. It wasn't any trouble. He was just being thoughtful.

"Oh, crap."

Emery slows her chewing and looks at Buck with her brows raised. "What?"

Buck motions to his sandwich hut hesitates to answer. "Th-there's...olives."

Emery chuckles softly and wipes her hands together. "Not liking olives should be a crime against humanity." She holds her hand out. Buck blinks.

Emery then wiggles her fingers, "Hand over the olives and nobody gets hurt."

Buck chuckles and hands Emery the olives. She quietly cheers and puts them on her sandwich. He keeps his eyes on the happy girl and a small laugh leaves his lips. Emery lifts her head up and connects her eyes with his which causes Buck's heart to jump into his chest. "What?" Emery softly chuckles.

Buck slightly opens his mouth then closes it. He then shakes his head. "Nothing, it's just...it should be a crime to put olives on your sandwich."

"What?!"

Buck holds his hands up, doubling down. Emery leans back, a smile on her lips. She then pokes her tongue below her teeth and nods her head. "Oh, so that's how you wanna play it? Okay." She sets her sandwich down and rubs her hands together.

"It should be a crime to buy Mint Chocolate chip."

Back gasps, "How dare you?—"

"How dare you!" Emery exclaims. "Going to the store and searching out mint chocolate chip on purpose!"

"I mean, I could understand if you just see it in the fridge and you're like "hmm, yeah I'll have some mint chocolate chip. No biggie." But you," she points at him. "Deliberately go to the store to buy it."

Buck honestly wasn't even mad that Emery was telling him how much she hated Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. He was just happy she knew that about him. It made him feel giddy.

Emery looks at the olives in her hands and softly smiles. "I'm sorry too." She looks at Buck.

Buck raises his brows, "For what?"

"For how I acted with...Hen."

"Shouldn't you be apologizing to Hen about that?" Buck asks.

Emery stays silent and looks at her bed. It was hard getting Emery to open up. But Buck was patient with her. And he wanted to be there for her every step of the way. No matter what.

"Do you know why you said that to her?" Buck asks.

Emery scratches the corner of her brow. "Just...stuff at home." She sighs. "Well, this place isn't much of a home anymore."

Buck pulls his brows together. Emery looks at Buck and notices his confused expression. She slightly opens her mouth. "Amaya moved out."

"Oh...is everything okay?"

Emery sets the olives down and she swallows the lump in her throat. Buck watches as Emery taps each finger against her thumb. "Emi?"

Emery swipes her tongue across her lower lip. "Uh, it's my dad..." she softly speaks. "He's—"

A knock is heard at the front door, which causes Emery and Buck to jump. The curly-haired girl sighs and looks at Buck. "Hold on..." she gets off the bed and walks out of the room. She makes her way to the front door and looks through the peephole. Her jaw clenches and she pulls open the door.

"Hey, Em."

Emery looks at the woman in front of her with an arched brow. "Hey, Hen. What can I do you for?"

"You could tell me where we went wrong."

Emery blinks, "What are you talking about?"

Hen let's out an exhausted breath. Emery always had a knack for acting like nothing was wrong. It was one of the frustrating things about her. "Us fighting? That's not...us."

Emery quirks a brow, "I dunno, I mean. It was bound to happen, right?"

"What?" Hen chuckles out of disbelief.

"We're both so opinionated and self righteous." Emery states. "Us bumping heads is no surprise."

"Look, I know that me trying to apply for Lieutenant might've caught you off guard. But it's a good opportunity—"

"An opportunity I had just accomplished. A minute before you decided to apply." Emery tilts her head. "An opportunity you could've applied for years ago—"

"Yeah, the same goes for you." Hen replies, her patience running thin.

"You know exactly why I didn't apply before." Emery snaps. "I was going to. But after..." she trails off her sentence and she inhales a breath. Hen stays silent for a moment as she watches the anger slip away from Emery. Just when she thinks it's safe, Hen speaks again. "Emerson. After all these years of being teammates—being friends..."

The curly-haired girl's chest tightens with rage once again. And she bites the inside of her cheek, until she breaks the skin. She tastes blood on the inside of her mouth.

"...and I never thought you would get mad over this. I mean, yeah, I know you get mad from time to time but this—"

"Oh, yeah?" An unstable laugh comes from Emery's laughs. She covers her mouth to keep her next words quiet. Emery then pulls her hand off her mouth and stares coldly at Hen. Her friend. This is your friend. Just apologize and tell her to apply.

"I never thought you would cheat on Karen. And yet here we are."

Fucking idiot.

Hen's jaw goes slack and her heart sinks. "What?"

Emery folds her arms, she looks at Hen with a brow raised; and she doesn't bother speaking.

"You..." Hen inhales a breath. "You know how much I regret that. You know how long it took for Karen and I to build that trust again."

"Yeah, so—"

"So, why are you throwing it back in my face?!" Hen screams, tears welling in her eyes.

Emery tenses and her stomach clenches in a painful manner. Because I don't want to you to see me fall apart.

"Because I'm a terrible person, Henrietta." Emery cracks a small cocky smirk. "And terrible people say terrible things when they don't get what they want."

"Yeah? And what do you want?" Hen asks through clenched teeth.

I want to apologize to you. I want to tell you about my family falling apart again.

"What I want is for you to leave."

Hen raises her brows and scoffs. "That can definitely be arranged." She looks at Emery. "And don't bother coming over to babysit Denny tomorrow night. We'll find someone reliable."

Emery rolls her eyes and looks off to the side. "Then you should've done that to begin with."

"Fuck you, Emerson."

Hen walks away from Emery's apartment. Guilt sinks into Emery's stomach and she feels sick. She shakes her head and looks down the hall again, ready to scream Hen's name. But she stops. Emery pulls her brows together and sighs. You've already gone too far. It's too late...

Emery closes the door and covers her eyes. She hears the floorboards creak, she looks up and sees Buck standing there; fully dressed. Emery sighs, "Look, Buck, maybe you should go—"

"I was already leaving." Buck says, his tone soft. He grabs his shoes and puts them on. "Emi, until you...sort out your shit. I don't think..." he trails off his words, not even wanting to speak them into existence. He was far beyond obsessed with her body and the way she moaned his name. The feeling he gets when she takes control. God, he adored everything about her. He was obsessed with her.

But he also knew that if he wanted to help Emery, he needed her to know he was serious. She wasn't going to deal with anything if he was distracting her.

Buck finishes putting his shoes on and looks at the girl. "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Emery's back tenses and she feels her heart stop. Why the hell did my heart stop?

Buck watches as Emery goes into her own mind. He sighs softly, "Look..."

Emery blinks and focuses back on the boy. Buck presses his lips together and nods his head. "I want you to be able to talk to me." He nervously rubs his hands against his jeans. "But I also want you to be comfortable with talking to everyone else, not push them away."

"I don't need to—"

"You were just about to tell me something about your dad." Buck's eyes soften. "You need to talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me or even anybody at the station. Just...someone."

"Yeah? And why is that?"

Buck's face heats up and he couldn't control the small smile that appeared on his lips when he spoke.

"Because you deserve the best, Emi."

Emery slightly raises her brows, taken aback by the statement. She keeps her eyes on Buck's. A tense silence filling the air. It wasn't sexual of any kind. It was...warm, patient, and kind. It was just Emery finally—finally looking at Buck the way he's been looking at her for the last few months. Emery's chest flutters and a small smile ghosts her lips. She felt the urge to wrap her arms around him and never let go.

But Emery's only felt that for one person.

The feeling scared her. It caused her heart to drop into her stomach and her smile disappears. She clears her throat and looks away from the boy. "I...thank you." She speaks. Buck watches as Emery walks away from him.

"You okay?"

Emery nods her head, "Mhm." She avoids eye contact. "I just have to go." She walks towards her bedroom door. "Home. I have to go home if that wasn't...clear."

"It was pretty clear." Buck shrugs a shoulder. "Since you're already home and all."

"Oh good." Emey exhales, her face getting hot. Her heart begins to accelerate and she exhales a sharp breath. Calm the fuck down or I'll put you down myself.

Her heart slows down.

Emery throws a quick "bye" at Buck before she goes into her room with the slam of her door.

━━━━━━━━━━

author's note.

Alexa play 'Issues' by Julia Michaels. Because Emery is going through it 🤭

Emery likes Buuuuck hehehehehe

Also I skipped some scenes because I'm just trying to get to the angsttttt 😭

words : 9353