𝐬𝐤𝐚𝐢'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

i woke up to the warmth of dani's arm draped over me, the weight of her body pressing gently against mine. 

the steady rhythm of her breathing filled the quiet room, which did not reflect the chaos of my thoughts. for a moment, i let myself linger there, in that strange in-between state where reality and dreams blur together. 

but as my eyes adjusted to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, the reality of where i was, and more importantly, who i was with, hit me like a punch to the gut.

memories of last night came rushing back, piecing themselves together in a disjointed, messy reel. the club, the performance, the way our eyes met across the room, igniting something in me that i thought i'd buried for good. 

there was no denying the chemistry, the pull that dani had always had over me. it didn't help at all that the sex was so fucking good as well, i don't remember having such a euphoric release like that in so long. 

i hated how easily i fell back into her orbit, how, despite everything, she could still make me feel like this.

i stared at dani's peaceful face, taking in the soft rise and fall of her chest, the way her curls fell across her forehead. 

she looked so damn serene, like she didn't have a care in the world. like she hadn't shattered my trust and left me to pick up the pieces. part of me wanted to wake her up, to demand answers, to make her see how much she'd hurt me. but another part of me, the part that was tired of all the drama, just wanted to escape.

i couldn't do this. not again. not after everything i'd been through, everything i'd promised myself. 

the first breakup broke me and caused to literally become a new person. with a quiet sigh, i gently slipped out from under her arm, careful not to wake her. the last thing i needed was another confrontation, another round of apologies that didn't really change anything. 

i just needed to get out of there, to put some distance between us before i did something stupid, like fall for her all over again.

i've already fallen for her.

as i gathered my clothes from the floor, the cold reality of the situation set in. this wasn't just a one-time thing, a lapse in judgment brought on by too many drinks. this was a pattern, one that i knew all too well. 

i dressed quickly, the room feeling suffocating despite its size. it wasn't supposed to be like this. i was supposed to be strong, to move on, to let go of dani and all the baggage that came with her. 

but here i was, doing the walk of shame out of her place, like some lovesick fool who couldn't get her shit together.

as i reached for the door, i paused for a moment, my hand hovering over the handle. it would be so easy to turn back, to crawl back into bed with her and pretend that everything was fine. but i couldn't do that to myself. not again. so, with a deep breath, i pulled the door open and stepped out into the early morning light.

my house wasn't far—just around the corner, since she's moved houses—but the walk felt longer than it should have. every step felt like i was dragging my feet through quicksand, the weight of my thoughts pulling me down.

i reached my front door, my hand trembling slightly as i unlocked it. stepping inside, i was greeted by the familiar comfort of home, but it did little to ease the turmoil inside me. i tossed my keys onto the table and made my way to my bedroom, collapsing onto the bed with a heavy sigh.

***

after freshening up and changing into more comfortable clothes than my clubbing ones, zendy's name flashed across my phone screen, breaking through the fog of my thoughts. 

i stared at it for a moment, contemplating whether to answer. after the morning i'd had, the last thing i wanted was to talk to anyone, especially not about what had just happened with dani.

but zendaya wasn't the type to just go away if you ignored her, and a part of me—probably the part that didn't want to be alone with my thoughts.

i swiped to answer, trying to sound normal. "hey, z."

"hey, sis!" her voice was bright, "remember when i told you i'm in LA with tom, what are you up to today?"

"uh, not much," i said, glancing around my quiet room. "why, what's up?"

"tom and i got tickets to the lakers game tonight, and we've got an extra. figured you could use a little distraction," she said.

i hesitated, the idea of being around people—getting my picture taken and everything—felt daunting. on one hand, i didn't really want to go out, but on the other hand, sitting around moping all day wasn't exactly a solid plan either.

"come on, skai," she pressed when i didn't immediately respond. "you need a break, you've been working so hard for your album, come outside with us for a bit."

"yeah, and food's on us," tom added, his british accent slightly muffled in the background, making me smile despite myself.

i let out a small laugh, the first genuine one in what felt like forever. "really? ok i'll come. just give me a few to get ready."

"perfect! we'll pick you up in an hour," zendaya said, the relief in her voice palpable. "and skai... you know we love you, right?"

"yeah, i know. love you too," i replied, my chest tightening a bit at the sincerity in her words.

i quickly changed into something more game-appropriate—a pair of high-waisted jeans, a vintage lakers tee, and my favourite pair of my classic brown nike air jordans. i kept my makeup minimal, just a swipe of mascara and some gloss, not really feeling like putting in much effort. i threw my hair up into a loose bun and grabbed a hoodie before heading out.

as promised, zendaya and tom were outside my place in about an hour. tom was behind the wheel, waving excitedly as i approached the car. zendaya was in the passenger seat, grinning at me through the window. the sight of them, so effortlessly happy together, made me smile. if anyone could lift my spirits, it was these two.

"you look cute!" zendaya said as i slid into the backseat, her tone light and teasing.

"thanks. you guys look pretty good yourselves," i replied, trying to match her energy.

"ready for some b-ball?" tom asked, turning to face me, his smile wide and genuine.

"tom, please stop making b-ball a thing," i said, teasing him as he scoffs, reversing out onto the road.

by the time we arrived at the stadium, i was actually starting to feel better. the energy of the crowd, the excitement in the air—it was infectious. as we made our way to our seats, i found myself getting caught up in the atmosphere, the roar of the fans, the buzz of anticipation. it was exactly what i needed, a temporary escape from the whirlwind of emotions i'd been drowning in.

zendaya and tom were perfect companions, effortlessly pulling me into their world of inside jokes and playful teasing. 

they posed effortless when the camera were on them, and debated on who was going to win, and even dragged me into a ridiculous conversation about who had the best sneakers on the court.

after the game, we went to olive garden as promised. i couldn't help but buzz with excitement as we sat in my all time favourite restaurant. i couldn't help but feel zendy and tom exchange hesitant looks at each other a few times.

"ok y'all, what's going on." i said sighing as i looked at them both with a serious expression, "zendy are you pregnant or something?"

zendy let out a stifled laugh, amusement in her expression did not reach her eyes however, "no, not at all."

"ok so what is it, has anyone ever told you two that y'all cannot hide anything for your lives, now spill." zendy sighed before speaking up, looking towards tom for reassurance.

"i'm assuming you haven't read the blogs, but you're all over social media right now because you was spotted leaving the club with dani." i raised my eyebrow in surprise, we did leave by the back entrance, but since we were drunk we weren't as vigilant as we should have been. 

i couldn't help but feel irritated since the last thing i wanted was to be publicly entangled with dani, and the internet never let go of anything.

"we're just worried skai, we know how heartbroken you were about dani and we just want to make sure you know what you're doing." tom finished, helping zendy.

i took a deep breath, feeling the weight of their concern settle in the pit of my stomach. 

it wasn't like i didn't know what i was doing—at least, i thought i did. but hearing zendaya and tom voice their worries made everything feel a little too real, a little too messy.

"i appreciate you guys looking out for me, but... honestly, i don't know what i'm doing," i admitted, leaning back in my chair, my appetite suddenly gone. "it just happened. we were both drunk, and i—i don't even know. it's all a blur."

zendaya reached across the table and placed a hand on mine, her eyes softening. "look skai, i know that you're grown and that now, but you're still my baby sister so i need to know that you're taking care of yourself, okay? don't let this spiral into something that's gonna hurt you more in the long run."

tom nodded in agreement, his expression serious. "we've seen you go through a lot, skai. and we're here for you, whatever you decide. just make sure it's something that's good for you, not just in the moment, but for the future too."

i nodded, appreciating their honesty even though it stung a little. they were right, of course. they always were. but the problem was, i didn't even know what was good for me anymore. everything with dani felt so complicated, so tangled up in emotions i hadn't fully dealt with.

"i know," i said quietly, picking at the edge of my napkin. "i'll figure it out. i just need some time."

tom chimed in, his tone lighter as he tried to lift the mood. "besides, we need our girl in top form. who else is gonna give us all the tea and keep us laughing?"

we spent the rest of the evening talking about anything but dani. it was nice, for a little while, to forget about the drama and just be with two people who loved me unconditionally. by the time we left olive garden, i felt a little more centred, a little more like myself.

but deep down, i knew it wouldn't be that simple. nothing with dani ever was. and that was what scared me the most.

***

the next morning, i laced up my sneakers and set out on my usual walk, the crisp air hitting my face as i made my way down the familiar route. 

the sun was just starting to peek through the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow over the neighbourhood. i took in the peaceful surroundings, enjoying the ambient sounds that enveloped me.

as i rounded the corner, still lost in thought, a flash of movement caught my eye. i turned my head just in time to see dani stepping out of her front door, with what seemed like her new dog bouncing happily beside her.

i skidded to a halt, my breath catching in my throat. dani looked incredible—almost unreal. she was wearing a sports bra underneath an oversized grey zip up jumper and grey joggers, her calvin klein boxers showing. her dark hair in a half up half down style, as it was pulled into a messy bun at the top of her head, whilst the rest of her hair flowed down her shoulders, a few of the strands falling gracefully around her face.

dani's gaze briefly swept around, and though our eyes didn't meet, i felt a jolt of recognition. my heart pounded in my chest, and as she turned to head down the street, i caught a glimpse of that familiar, elusive smile playing at the corners of her lips. why did the girl have to move so close to me?

the image of her disappearing into the distance, looking so effortlessly radiant and unbothered, left me with a mix of admiration and frustration.

𓏲𝄢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝!