(me trying not to scream when bucky turned up)

it's been a week since i saw infinity war and i'm still distraught.

i was absolutely FLOORED by how stunning bucky was in the end credit scene of black panther. he is a whole three course meal and i was TRULY satisfied. shuri provided and helped him recover from everything hydra put him through. a true hero.

when bucky appeared for the first time in infinity war, even though i knew damn well who was about to come on screen, i gasped so loud in the cinema - it was embarrassing.

then when steve arrives and bucky has the biggest smile i've ever seen?? the fluffy hair?? looking 10/10?? i was here for it, it was what i paId for.

when he was in battle shooting down any and every thing? amazing, the content that i wanted.

i wasn't mentally prepared for bucky to fade away. i swear he was one of the first ones to go and i kid you not i hit my dad in the shoulder so hard when bucky said, 'steve.' before falling to the ground and disappearing.

i wasn't expecting that?? i wasn't ready for that?? i had already lost one of my all time faves, now another one just had to disappear?? i was so confused and everything hurt and i was in shambles as it was but at that point a part of me diEd.

to think that wasn't even the WORST death. infinity war is the epitome of angst.

bucky is an angel and deserves better - i'm still mad.