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iv. this ain't for the best

aria's pov:

i woke up naked with my head pounding. i could vividly remember the event's of last night. i was drunk. james and i had a little moment. he was hesitant. he thought i'd regret it.

i didn't. surprisingly, i didn't regret it. not one bit.

i enjoyed it. more than i cared to admit.

i turned my head to see james beaufort sleeping ever-so peacefully next to me, also naked.

the morning light streamed through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. i took a moment to let the scene sink in—the tangled sheets, the quiet breaths, and the way his hair fell across his forehead. my heart fluttered at the memory of our shared laughter, the tentative glances that had turned into something deeper.

i pushed myself up slightly, propping my head on my hand as i studied him. james had always been that perfect mix of charming and enigmatic, a guy who could make you feel like you were the only one in the room even in a crowd. but there was always that guarded look in his eyes, as if he was hiding something—or maybe it was just his way of protecting himself.

i remembered his words, hesitations hanging in the air between us. "are you sure about this?"  his voice was laced with concern, but all i could think about was how right it felt in that moment. i'd spent so much time overthinking every interaction, every possibility, but last night had been freeing. we had crossed the line, again. and, it was exhilarating.

just as i began to contemplate how to navigate this new territory between us, i leaned in closer, planting a soft kiss on his lips. i don't know what took over me. 

i wanted—no, needed to get out of here, before he woke up. 

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ariacaldwell has posted!

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school. and, here i was. it almost felt like nothing had happened. almost.

there he was. as smug as ever, standing with his friends, that cocky smile plastered on his face. the sight of him made my stomach flip and my heart race. why did he have to look so good?

"hey, babe!" lydia's voice broke through my thoughts like a lifeline.

"hi, lyds!" i felt a wave of relief wash over me.

"you came to the party, and you didn't even meet us!" she beamed, completely unaware of the chaos swirling in my mind. thank heavens.

"sorry, was busy getting drunk." i shot a glance at james, who just winked at me. this bastard.

"aria caldwell getting drunk? i don't believe that." alistair laughed, shaking his head like he was in on some secret joke.

"it's all a blur. honestly, i can't remember a thing. my head was pounding." the moment those words left my mouth, i felt a twinge of guilt. hearing that, james seemed upset. he had to realize that it was a lie, right?

"i gotta run, ms. whitmore wants to see me." i said, hoping he'd take the hint.

"what'd you do now?" he called after me, that insufferable curiosity lacing his tone.

"nothing that concerns you." i stuck my middle finger out at him. i could feel my heart racing. probably, 'cause i'd regret it later.

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after class, we met under the staircase. the silence felt overwhelming, even if it was just for a minute. my heart was pounding in my chest, a mix of excitement and fear.

then it all happened in a blur—my bag slid off my shoulders, and before i knew it, his hands were pinning me against the wall. i crashed my lips onto his, urgency pouring out of me like it was the only thing that mattered. we kissed like we'd been apart an eternity, drowning out the chaos of the world around us.

we pulled away after what felt like forever, our breaths ragged and mingling in the air between us.

"you fucking left." he said, his eyes dangerously livid, as if he could kill. he probably would.

"i didn't know what to do. someone could've seen us. it'd be very fucking complicated." i shot back, holding his gaze, not willing to back down.

moments passed, heavy with unspoken words and emotions. this was all so insane.

"i don't regret it. not one bit." he said, his voice low and fierce. his eyes searched mine for the same truth.

"me neither. is that bad?" i asked, my heart racing, feeling like we were teetering on the edge of something massive.

"i don't know." the uncertainty hung in the air, thick and palpable.

just then, there was a crash. someone was coming.

i quickly picked up my bag, giving him one last kiss—a quick, desperate connection that felt electric. then i turned and ran, my heart pounding in my chest, adrenaline fueling every step. what were we doing?

as i navigated the crowded hallways, the thrill of what had just happened mixed with the fear of getting caught. i needed to process everything, but one thing was for sure: this wasn't over. not by a long shot.


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