I was happy. Most of the time. Sometimes.

Well, I was happy around Gally. And Newt. And Ben and the Med-Jacks (sometimes)... but not when I was alone, or when I had to walk past the leftover Builders.

A few of them spent the week in the Slammer, because of what they did to me. Others just gave me glances. No one said anything about the poem. Yet.

But at night... I mostly cried myself to sleep. Hadn't talked about it to anyone, because why would I? It was mostly about Luke, though my other (new) friends covered up his spot well. Sometimes I just remembered the comments and cried. Or about myself and how I felt, like before my attempt.

But, I was getting happier by the weeks.

"What's your favorite color?" I asked Gally a week after the faint thing. We were on our way to dinner.

I liked him. As a friend, for now. Newt believed that would change soon, I didn't. He was nice to talk to, and I got comfortable, so talked a lot. He didn't seem to mind and actually searched for me so we could have the meals together. Was always saying he found the Builders too annoying to sit with.

"Brown."

"That does not surprise me." I motioned at his brown shirt, which he always wore. Like, always. "Do you ever wash that shirt? Or do you have multiple?"

He averted his eyes. "Why?"

"You wear it a lot. No offense." I gave Frypan a nod as a thank you for the food, then continued to walk with Gally. "Wear something else."

"No." He shook his head. "What's your favorite color, though?"

I smiled. "Must be white."

"White isn't a color."

I nearly threw my hands in the air. "That's what everyone says!"

"Because it's true." He said triumphant, almost as if he had won something.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll stick with white. But I like mint green too. But baby blue! Oh, and sunshine yellow... what do you think about old pink? I do like brown, too, though."

"I don't see a difference between mint green and green."

"There is a clear difference." I paused and smiled brighter at myself. "Can you do me a favor? It has to do with building."

"Depends on the favor."

"Can you paint the insides of my hut—."

"No."

"—blue." I gave him an offended glance. "Can we ask the Box to deliver fake ivy so I can hang it on my walls?"

"Your room is not the maze."

"Ah come on! Or are you scared I will try it again? Don't worry, a jump like that won't kill me. But, maybe I'll break another leg." I grinned at him.

He did not laugh. Or grin. Or anything close to that. "That is not funny."

I covered a laugh by coughing. "It kind of is."

"It is not."

I did my best to mute a giggle. "It's funny. Admit it."

"Jokes like that are not funny."

I scoffed at him, then took a look around all the picnic tables. My eye caught Newt and Minho sitting together, laughing. "Let's join them. Minho and Newt."

"What?" He immediately was alert, straightening his back. "No. I won't join those two."

"Why not?"

"They don't like me."

I smiled even brighter. "Then you can make sure they like you today! There's nothing wrong with that."

He let out a grunt. "I don't like socializing or people."  

"I am aware." I snickered. "No wonder you're so grumpy."

He squinted his eyes closer shut. "I'm not grumpy."

I raised an eyebrow. Then two, and put a hand on my hip, still holding my plate in the other one. "You kind of are. Let's go, Gally."

I grabbed his bicep. He grumbled and groaned, but let me drag him. I knew he could've easily lay me down on the ground, yet he didn't.

"Hello." I greeted happily.

"Hey, Val." Newt's face darkened. "And Gally."

"Gally!" Minho opened his arms. "Nice to have you here. Sit down, man."

I expected Gally to sass back, but he didn't. He did not look at Minho while he sat down. Enthusiastic to see what this combination of boys would lead too, I hopped next to Newt.

"Newt, what do you think?" I tapped him on the shoulder. "Should I paint my hut blue? The insides."

"No, white's better."

"White's not even a color." Minho mocked.

"Yeah, but it's calm. So if you paint the insides white—."

"That's what she said." I cut Newt off.

His face dropped and his eyes almost got filled with fire. "Stop. Stop making everything I said dirty."

"Stop saying things I'm able to make dirty."

"Or just don't make it dirty."

"No, thanks."

"What's it even worth doing that?" He gave me a push on the shoulder.

"It's funny." I stared at him. "And did you just eat a cocktail sausage? Ew."

"You didn't see a cocktail sausage." He denied. "And I did definitely not eat it."

"Well, but if I wanted to see one, I'd pull down Carl's pants."

Gally chocked on his food, Newt's face dropped, and Minho laughed, almost proud.

"Are you two healthy best friends or literally just crazy?" The Runner wondered.

"Depends."

"I'm healthy, Val is crazy."

"I'm extrovert, he's introvert."

"She's sun, I'm moon."

"He's Lady Gaga, I'm Ed Sheeran."

"We never agreed on Lady Gaga."

"Whatever."

"Okay! We get it." Minho put his hands on the table formally. "So, about your poem."

"Not the poem, please." I buried my head in my hands, embarrassed again.

"I liked it. You better teach me how to write that sometime." Gally commented, talking casual as if he wasn't a big guy wanting to write a poem.

"You? And a poem?" I giggled. "I'd like to see how that turns out. So, okay. Here's the deal. If you teach me how to wrestle, I'll teach you how to do poetry."

"Sure."

"Write a poem about me." Minho blurted out, though he didn't seem ashamed.

"You?" I shook my head. "No."

"Please." He added. "If you don't, I'll tell everyone what you did."

"Depends on what thing I did you're talking about."

He grinned. "One word, donuts."

"Okay! Okay, okay, okay." I panicked. "I'll write you a poem. Here I go. He-."

"Wait. Can you come up with it like, right now? In your mind?" He gave the other two glares as if he was asking them 'did you hear that too?'

"No, in my stomach. Yes, in my mind. Quiet." I held up a finger. "He is the king of sass, but anyone would say pass. He's ugly as shuck, yet he doesn't give a-."

"Okay, enough." Minho interrupted. "Impressive how you can do it so easily, not impressive that it's a rude poem."

He is definitely not ugly as shuck.

I shrugged. "First thing I came up with."

Gally cleared his throat, hoping to draw attention to himself. "What's with the donut thing?"

"Nothing."

"It's amazing."

We spoke in unison. I gave Minho a nasty glance, he grinned at me even deeper, eyes twinkling. I mouthed 'don't you dare'. He did it anyways.

"A few months ago, Valerie slept with shucking socks in bed! That's a crime. Donut socks."

I cringed. "It was really cold that night!"

"They were pink with brown donuts and rainbow sprinkles and almost rolled up to her knee." He added fast, chuckling at himself. 

"You slept with socks on?" Newt spat out.

"It was very cold!" I repeated. "I can't help that you guys are all so... enormous and have this body warmth like a damn bear!"

Gally's mouth grew into a smile, or a grin. "Did you just admit you're small?"

"Maybe I did."

And it was not fun, to be the smallest in between forty guys that were around my age. That had been surrounded by boys for two years and now finally had a girl in their middle. A girl that couldn't run because her leg was ruined and she was weak... small.

That was my second fear. And I knew Newt didn't know I had that fear. I wouldn't want him to know. So every morning to prevent any touch or inappropriate, unwilling things to happen to me, I checked my clothes, and did my best to hide as much skin as possible. Even when it was hot outside.

"Minho, may I ask how you know that she slept with socks on?" Gally clenched his jaw, then unclenched it again.

"No." Minho rubbed his chin. "Anyway. Valerie, can I talk to you for a sec? Won't be long."

Taken aback, I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

His mood changed. I could feel it in the air, letting me know it was serious. Both of us got up as we received weird glances from the other two. Minho lead the way toward the edge of the woods and I trusted him with it. He wasn't a person to assault me.

"I'm sorry." He started, looking more frustrated by the second. "That I didn't even look at you when you were running through the Glade. That I didn't give you a chance."

"Minho-."

"No." He held up his hand to stop me. "You would've been able to do it, you know? You were fast, I saw it. Just didn't want to believe you could do it. Doesn't make sense. Maybe I was caring about my own reputation too much, since I knew what they would whisper if I let a girl be a Runner."

"Whatever the Builders or anyone says is not supposed to hurt you, the Keeper of the Runners."

"They can be quite imitating. And I won't make a show by yelling at them or sassing my shuck butt out." He leaned against a tree. "I feel guilty."

"Please, don-."

"Remember what I told you?" He cut me off again. "I'm an observer. That's why I feel guilty. I had noticed you zoned out a lot. That you had dark bags surrounding your eyes every day. You didn't eat your food, didn't drink the milk... you just stared at it and let the comments slowly ruin you."

"Minho, I-."
I wanted him to stop before I would cry, but he continued.

"Most of the time I was in the maze, but when I wasn't, I always heard or saw stuff. I didn't reply to them. They weren't talking to me anyway, but if I just..." He trailed off. "The fact that you're a woman has nothing to do with the running. Even though I told you number four, 'you're a girl'. Whatever the Builders have told you is not true. And— well, I don't know. When I saw you there, in the m-."

"I-."

"Val, let me speak. Please." He paused. "When I saw you there, I didn't know what to do in the first seconds. I knew what had happened to Newt, but obviously Alby never gave me education on what to do if I saw someone like that. I didn't know what to do in the first seconds. Your skin was so pale I thought you already were dead, but I... I couldn't get it over my heart to bring you, or anyone, back to the Glade dead."

I blinked away tears. Seeing this side of Minho was different. And I knew I never thanked him for bringing me back because I was angry, but now, I might've been happier.

"After I got you out of that ivy, I carried you in my arms. To my surprise, I could run and carry at once, which made me realize how small you actually were, or, are. And no, that is not an insult to say that you're tiny. More like..." He sniffed, hesitating to talk further. "It made me wonder what a girl like you ever did wrong to guys like Builders. Made me realize how damn scared you must've been when you came up— no, everyday. How scared you must've been that they tried things and you were defenseless. Not saying you're not strong, 'cause you are, but we both know that if one of those guys did his best, he could easily make you defenseless."

He inhaled and exhaled long, which let me know he was done talking. I stood there, stunned by his words and point of view, almost crying at it.

And then I wrapped my arms around him.

Confused, he stumbled back a little, then awkwardly patted me on the back, muttering, "Oh, we're touching now." 

"Thanks for bringing me back, Minho."