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🐰

The evening with the 6 remaining members of BTS went by smoothly.

They're all very funny to be around, but I must admit as a girl who's not accustomed to having a lot of friends, they can be very loud and maybe a bit too loud for my liking.

However my opinion on them has no value. Jungkook was the happiest I've seen him since I first met him and the other members seemed to enjoy the time as well.

Their conversations never stopped which made me wonder how come they didn't approach each other earlier. Maybe they were all a bit too proud to admit they actually missed each other.

The conversations kept going back to old memories they have together and I mostly sat by quiet and just observed. I couldn't relate of course, and I didn't interfere. These are not supposed to be my friends anyway and frankly, I wasn't supposed to be there at all.

However, I can picture myself growing to adore each and every one of them. I already feel sad, not getting to know them better before leaving.

Hoseok and Jimin have been growing on me a lot and I feel sad to leave them.

And one person in particular, I will never forget.

I tilt my head back, glancing up at Jungkook.

His eyes are closed, lips pouted and his hair is messily spread on his forehead. He must be exhausted after such an eventful night.

We're laying in his bed. His arms are wrapped around my waist, holding me tightly as I'm pressed into his chest.

We've laid like that for a while now.

After we parted company with the guys, Jungkook wanted to follow me home. I rejected his offer—I didn't want to part ways already.

So for the first time, I took the initiative and asked him if we could hang out at his place for a while.

Jungkook seemed just as surprised as I was myself at my suggestion. It was always him who invited me over, but now I initiated it.

It's funny that in the beginning I always pretended around Jungkook.

I pretended to not know him already. I pretended to be interested. I pretended to be overly kind and friendly.

Now, I'm not pretending anymore.

I'm interested in knowing more about Jungkook. I'm being myself now, sarcastic and all with it. Maybe I'm that good of an actress, or maybe Jungkook just makes me want to be more of a happy person.

When we got to Jungkook's house, he made some ramen. I didn't want any, I was full from the dinner at the restaurant and really, I didn't have an appetite. My head was overwhelmed with thoughts and I had a constant stomach ache which is still here now as I'm laying wrapped in Jungkook's warmth and engulfed by his scent.

He's not wearing any cologne, it's his natural aroma. It's not like his scent is strong, but it's comforting. It's neutral, reminds me a bit of wood I'm not sure why. But it has a certain effect on me. Just the fragrance I've come to associate with Jungkook makes me feel relaxed and safe.

Jungkook's breaths are deep. I feel his chest rise and fall with his breathing. His heartbeat is slow, I can feel it when I lay my chin to his chest.

He's slowly falling asleep, but I don't want that to happen. He probably thought that I'm going to spend the night here, but I can't.

The clock is ticking and my time here is quickly running up. I don't want him to wake up to an empty bed. I don't want to leave him without an explanation.

If he really likes me, I can't do that to him. I can't hurt him. I like him too much.

I move my hand up to his face, brushing away the hair in front of his eyes. His eyebrows scrunches and his grip around my waist tightens. I smile at the adorable boy in front of me. It reminds me of a little boy who doesn't want to wake up when his mother asks him to.

"Jungkook?" I whisper, waiting for a reaction.

But there doesn't come one and I decide to move my hand to graze his cheek gently with the back of my hand, "Jungkook." I repeat.

His eyes open slightly and a small smile lifts his face, "Yes princess?"

The nickname makes me at a loss for words briefly and I have to swallow thickly. The nauseas feeling in my stomach grows more fierce and I feel my eyes starting to burn as I'm holding back my sadness.

I really don't want to say this..

"I have to go home."

Jungkook's face falls again as the wrinkle between his eyebrows finds its way back. He's more awake now, his eyes are fully opened. He props his upper body on his elbow thus staring down at me as my head is laying on his pillow.

"No, stay here." He pleads softly.

His right hand around my waist disappears as it finds its place on my cheek, cupping it and gently stroking my cheek with his thumb.

I can feel the worry building on my facial expression as my eyebrows tense and my lips seal together in a tight smile, trying to display some kind of emotion that does not seem so hopeless.

"I have to." I put my hand on top of his on my cheek, feeling his warmth radiating onto my hand one last time.

"Why? Do you have plans tomorrow?" His eyebrows raise in tact with his question.

His head hovers above mine and if it wasn't for the situation, I would've pulled him down for a kiss.

But that would only do more harm than good to any of us.

"No not quite—"

"Then stay. Please, I want you to."

The tone in his voice squeezes my heart in an dreadful way.

I want to stay. If I could, I would.

But it's not my choice and I have to be stubborn about this.

Before I even get a chance to answer, he continues to ramble on.

"I want you to stay here with me. I want you to curl up in my arms, hug me and just be here. I feel way better when you're here next to me. Just for tonight, stay with me."

A bunny smile uplifts his face again. He's excited. He probably thinks I'm going to get persuaded and stay, he probably thinks I want to.

And I do. I am persuaded easily when it comes to Jungkook. I want to stay.

And I don't want to make that beautiful smile of his disappear.

However, the longer I stay silent, the smaller Jungkook's smile gets. I can see the despondency seeping onto his face, slowly matching my own expression.

"I know I said your stubbornness is attractive, but it's really annoying right now." He lets out a chuckle that sounds somewhat nervous. He's wearing a half-heartedly smile. It's like he's trying to bring up the mood, but not really feeling it himself.

I don't return his chuckle, even though I can't lie his words made me feel a tiny bit better. I can't ignore the way he's calling me attractive, despite my stubborn, sarcastic and not always positive side. "Jungkook, I'm serious."

Jungkook doesn't move, but is quiet as he stares into my eyes for a long time. It's like he's searching for something—something that I can't give him.

At last he lets out a sigh and sits up in the bed. I lay down for a few moments more. I haven't made piece with my decision of leaving yet. I just really don't want to.

"Hey," Jungkook's voice is low and raspy. He clears his throat before continuing, "What about we don't end the night just yet—"

"Jungkook I said I have—"

"To go home, I know... It's just that I'm not really tired yet and, I'm not asking you to stay, just for one more hour?"

"One hour?" I repeat.

It sounds intriguing, but I know that if I stay for one more hour, it'll turn to several and at last I only have 10 minutes to find a place no-one will see me.

"One hour. I want to take you somewhere." A smile creeps onto his lips at his suggestion, "And I promise after that you can go home and we'll see each other another day."

Jungkook's mood is brighter and he doesn't seem so saddened about the situation anymore. It makes sense because he doesn't see it from my point of view.

I nod agreeing to go.

As I've come to learn I just can't say no to him. And I really don't want the night to end already either.

Maybe, I'll be able to say a proper goodbye there. Wherever he wants to bring me, I'll go.

🐰

"This is very cliché of you." I giggle after Jungkook told me to lay down next to him.

I look at him as he's laying down on the grass in the middle of a park that runs along Han River. It's dark and the stars are clear on the night sky, hence why Jungkook wants me to lay down and look up at the sky with him—to stargaze.

It's past midnight which means that my total days on this mission is 13 days and my pay won't be the best. But right now I could care less about my payment, I don't even feel like arguing with my boss about it when I get back. I'm happy I was sent here and if it wasn't for the mix up of informations I got, I wouldn't have gotten to know Jungkook in the same way. I wouldn't have gotten to experience the warmth one person can give to another—and I'll never forget that Jungkook made me feel that way.

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Jungkook perks his eyebrow at me which makes me laugh even more.

"I'll let you figure that out yourself."

Jungkook sits up and grabs my hand before pulling on it, "Whatever, just come here."

I fall down on the grass which makes me scoff at Jungkook's rough way of getting me to lay down next to him. But I forgive him quickly as he wraps his arm around my shoulder and pull me into him. I rest my head on his chest and I feel Jungkook leaning his cheek against the top of my head as he strokes my hair with his hand.

It makes me feel safe even though I'm not safe here at all. I'm a ticking bomb and every minute now my watch could go green again and I would have to leave in a rush. Still, Jungkook almost makes me forget it.

Gazing at the sky, I feel a sense of home swaddle my existence, but I don't feel homesick as I feel Jungkook's hand fiddling with my hair.

I stargaze a lot when I'm at home. I lay in my bed, looking up at the stars and I love to memorize the constellations. The sky is dark as I know it and the stars are not any different from what I'm used to. It's funny how the sky here is identical to the one where I come from.

Maybe, if I look up at the sky when I'm home in my own bed again, Jungkook will be looking at the same sky.

Maybe it will bring me comfort.

"What would you do if I left?"

The words leave my mouth carelessly as I think out loud.

Jungkook's hand stop playing with my hair and his chest stops rising and falling for a moment. I turn around and glance up at him. He's looking at me, an unreadable expression on his face.

"Why? Are you leaving?"

I can't bring myself to answer his question. I know I will leave, but I don't want to confirm it with words.

Jungkook sits up which forces me to sit up too as my head was resting on his chest.

"Y/n, what are you saying?"

I look away from his eyes, gazing out at the water in the river that is glistening in the moon light. I shrug and bring up my own legs to hug them as I avoid looking at Jungkook, "It's not my choice."

"Not your choice? What do you mean, are you really leaving?" He rushes the words out and I can hear the panic in his voice.

Before I get to open my mouth, he asks another question.

"Where are you leaving to?"

I feel his hand on my shoulder but I don't react. He pulls gently on it and I give in. I turn around to look at him but regret it immediately.

There's a pain and sadness that is visible in his eyes and that is pulling at my heartstrings.

Fuck, I don't want you to be sad.

"I can't stay here forever." My voice cracks at the end of the sentence but I collect myself before I let the tears consume me.

I avoid his questions. I can't lie to him anymore. I just can't.

Jungkook's silence is killing me from the inside. I rather want him to get mad at me or get sad or just say something rather than this. I'm not a mind reader.

"I can't stay in my hotel room forever." I force out a chuckle.

Jungkook doesn't join in on my chuckling, which nerves me even more. I really didn't mean for this to affect him this much...

"I mean, even though I want to." I admit it, hoping that it would mean something. Maybe I even hope that it will make him feel better.

"Prove it." Jungkook's eyes are piercing through mine. They're sharp and they cut deep. They're turning a slight red which breaks me. It feels like his gaze is pricking me with needles wherever it lands.

"I—I can't..." I say after I gather the courage to speak. I really don't want to say the words, but I have to make him understand that I have to go.

Jungkook closes his eyes and scoffs at my answer. He shakes his head in a manner as if I'm ridiculous. After all, I cannot blame him as I'm not even giving him a proper reason. Still, I can't help but feel ashamed of and mad at myself.

"So that's it?" Jungkook is now the one avoiding eye contact as he looks at the grass in front of him, picking a few leaves and throwing them away after.

I don't answer. I bite my lower lip harshly. I want to tell him everything but it would mess up the story line and I'm too afraid to even think of my punishment—I think I would be lucky if I'll be send to jail.

"You just.. leave."

His voice is accusatory and his gaze is too as he looks at me with knitted brows. It hurts me to see him like this and it hurts me that I can't give him a rightful explanation when he deserves one.

I shake my head in denial. I'm not just leaving. He said it as if it meant nothing to me and as if it's easy to just leave.

It's not easy. It's tough as hell, but my mission is done now. There's nothing I can do about it. Ironically enough, I cannot turn back time. The power is not in my hands. And I'm being sent home soon, whether I like it or not. And it's the toughest realization I've ever come across and ever had to face.

But I can't be mad at Jungkook for sounding so disappointed. Of course he is disappointed, of course he feels sad, it's only right of him to feel so. I can't blame him for that.

I can only apologize for weighing him with these feelings, "I'm sorry Jungkook..."

It's my fault he fell for me. I should've stayed away as much as possible. I should've not interfered with him other than what my job would require me to.

But I did and I can't undo it now.

Even if I could I don't even think I want to.

As selfish as it is, I would not change anything I've done because then I wouldn't have fallen for the Jungkook I know now.

Jungkook falls back onto the grass. His motions wake me from my thoughts. I sigh as I lay down too, next to Jungkook but without touching him.

We lay in silence for a while. The only thing heard is the wind blowing, the water in the river and a few drunk people yelling instead of speaking as they walk along the river.

"Y/n, where do you come from?" Jungkook's voice is low and hesitant. He's almost muttering the question, but I hear it clearly.

"Somewhere." I reply in a sigh.

I sense Jungkook tilting his head to look at me. I don't find it in me to stare back into his eyes. I don't think I'll be able to again, because I know that it will be my last time.

"Whatever happens, look up at the sky and I'm sure I'll be looking at it from somewhere else, okay?" I say still without looking at him. I feel a lump in my throat grow bigger and I swallow thickly, but it's impossible to get rid of.

A silence falls over us again. Jungkook grabs my hand that's laying down my side. He entangles our fingers and squeeze my hand tightly. I find the strength in me to squeeze it back. Yet, I cannot tilt my head and meet his gaze.

My breath becomes shaky and a tear escapes my eye, rolling down the side of my cheek.

"Will I ever get to see you again?" Jungkook's breath fans my cheek and it makes my hair rise. I really want to assure him that he will, but that would be a lie. And I'm done lying.

"I'm not sure Jungkook..." My voice is shaky as I lie down, looking at the stars with Jungkook's hand in mine and another tear roll down my cheek which Jungkook brushes away, "Time will tell."

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Author's note
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Helloooo, how are you guys feeling?

The next chapter is gonna be the last one... sigh... I'm sad it's almost over.