Chaptet thirty-three
"Transferring Scars"

Taehyung POV

Jungkook and Jennie came with Luna and I back to The Escala last night. Jennie needed to grab some things. Very little had been exchanged between Jennie and I since the blowout. Actually, no words at all.

No glances, and no words. I went to bed early, while Luna lay on the couch with the dogs. I didn't want to be without her, but she said I needed some time to myself to get my head together. To breathe for a second. She was the strong one, once again.

I can't even begin to describe how torn I felt... and how guilty I felt for being torn. ... Luna Kim. She is my everything. Still today, just as much as she's been since the very first day I met her.

My best friend's words didn't change that. But they did stir something unsettling in me. I wasn't comfortable with the way Jennie spoke to me earlier, with the things she admitted in front of my wife. How coolly Luna handled it.

I knew that I had to set things straight. But I didn't know how to go about doing it without hurting her, or myself. I wasn't sure what to say. Or how to feel. I knew I had to be stern, to make sure Jennie understood. But I wasn't sure if I could pull off stern, when I was so afraid of losing her in my life.

Sure, aside from this dilemma, there was joy, that Luna and I were one step closer to 'normalcy'... whatever the fuck that word meant anyway. The house, the now lack of car payment on my end, the stress off my shoulders, a new beginning; it was all wonderful and exciting. But I couldn't start a new beginning while things with my old existence lingered in the background. It had to be settled and resolved.

I've lived here, with Jennie, for four years now. She was the person I put most of my time and effort into. She was the person that healed me, just as much as I had healed her... In fact, she healed me more. She only had two breakdowns, one of them coming after Luna and I got back together. The rest of the time, it was all about fixing me after I'd done something stupid. Taking care of me. All about my needs, my wants. She always put herself second. I knew I'd never be able to make that up to her. And I knew she'd never ask me.

But, as long as I am being fuck-all honest with myself, now that it's out in the open and in front of my eyes... Looking back, I am starting to see signs that Jennie felt a little more for me than best-friend love. If I had known then, I may have wandered into the dark places she helped brighten a little, and asked myself why she was dedicating so much time to me. Avoiding other men. Why she only brought home a few, but would quickly boot them out if I was having a bad day... How she'd drop everything to hang out with me. The list went on and on.

But back then, I took whatever was given and ran with it, because when the chips were down, it was her and me against this fucked up world, and I did not want to lose that. Still don't. In the end, we both lied and we both cheated. I hid my feelings for Luna from her, and everyone else, and she hid hers about me. I pretended I was fine with things, though people knew I wasn't. I convinced her I was moving on, just as she convinced me in the cabin she didn't have feelings for me. Jennie held back and I held back. We shoved those things under the rug, along with all the other shit we helped each other avoid. That's what made us even closer. We had secrets we told to each other, and kept from one another... A strict don't ask, don't tell policy.

But the fact that was never in doubt was that I would trade everything I fucking owned for one more hour with Luna.

To say that Jennie had been my rock through all that is an understatement. I'd given her the nickname 'sunshine' for a few reasons. During my four year mind fuck, she was the only person that made me see light in all my depths of darkness. She gave me understanding and encouragement when it didn't seem possible. A reason to keep living, to see another daybreak, even when I didn't want to. At any giving moment, even now, she'd destroy her life and throw herself under a bus in order to keep me from being hit. And I would have done the same for her.

Was I in love with her at one point? If I looked at the words the way I was raised to consider them, then my answer would be no.

...But, is it not possible to love more than one person at the same time, in very similar, yet different ways? I don't know if anyone really has the answer to that question. I know I sure as fuck didn't.

The words, 'in love'... Did they truly mean what each and every person individually wanted them to mean? Were they solely meant for one couple?

Were they just two words, meshed together, and built-up so high, just to define something?

In a sense, weren't all words just words? They all described nothing, and everything. A name. A thing. A feeling. A place. 'Oh, I'm in love with that car...', or 'Oh, that's my favorite story, I am in love with this character...' The words were thrown around so easily by many. To be in-love... if it was meant for only one person... then my answer would always be Luna. Only Luna.

But what if it wasn't meant for just one single person? I know a lot of people that have best friends, that include them in everything, just as I did mine. In a sense, we're all in love with multiple people. We love our parents, our grandparents. Cannot imagine a world without them, though we know one day, it's going to come. We love our friends, our confidantes, our co-workers, our peers...

But there's normally one friend whom you love more than the others... not quite as a partner in life, but as a partner in crime, at least... That person, for me, was Jennie.

Did I ever wonder if a time would come when Luna and I would never again be together? That'd I'd have to one day, learn to go on without her? Of course. Though it terrified me to even consider, I had to at least acknowledge the possibility.

Did I think, 'Hey, maybe Jennie and I... can one day be...' No, I can't say I actually thought that in my mind. But now, I'm sure that she has. She made that very clear tonight.

If I played that game right now, Word Association, where someone says a word, and you're supposed to answer with the first thing your brain thinks, I know all of my answers would be Luna. Happiness? Luna. Love? Luna. Future? Luna. Forever? Luna.

But, again, in the spirit of fuck-all honesty, Luna was also a synonym for all the things I hated of the past four years as well. When I thought of someone moving on. When I thought of anger. When I thought of resentment, fear, alcohol, drugs, sex, women, using people, hurting, lying, cheating, avoidance, abandonment...

Now, was it fair to feel this way about her now? No, absolutely not. I've accepted her shadows, just as she has accepted mine.

I asked her to marry me for one reason: She was my one. I could never, fucking ever breathe without her. I could never imagine a sunset, or a blue sky, or a starry night, without her silhouette standing beneath it.

Luna was the only reason why I was placed upon this earth, and I truly believe that with all of my might. If God put every single human on earth to be a mirror image of Himself, then in a way, the theory would make sense that if all humans mirror Him than all humans also mirror each other... or they're supposed to, anyway.

If I'd never met Luna before this day, and we were standing in the largest crowd in history, I believe with everything I am that I would not stop searching until I stood face to face with her. She is my mirror image. I don't see anyone else but her when I open my eyes and look - not even my own reflection. It's always been her, since I was fifteen years old. Luna, Luna, Luna. Every choice, every decision, every road, every song, every poem, every glance, every breath... it's all been about her, or for her. Both the sour and the sweet.

That's what makes a life with her so amazing. The ugly has made me appreciate the beautiful. Which is why I told her that I'd go through every shitty moment again; just to stand next to her, hold her hand, see her smiling face, and walk side by side in the same direction as her, to the very end. .

So... now in the present, where did Jennie come in to all of this? Do I just throw her under the bus, now that Luna came back? Was she just as important to me now as while Luna was gone? I can't say that she was, because all my hidden thoughts were about my Luna. Was she a close second? Possibly, in a way. Quite possibly. But I cannot say a complete yes.

If we could have multiple soul mates, in a friend and a separate lover sense, then yes, Luna and Jennie would both be mine. Both are so important in my life, but for very different reasons and in different amounts. Luna was always more, would always be more. But that fact was simple.

There was only one soul mate. And I did not belong to Jennie. I did not belong to myself. I was Luna's. One hundred percent.

I do know that, Luna aside, I was closer to Jennie than any other person. Which made all of these ideas that much harder to deal with. Which made the conversation we had to have that much harder to plan.

But I knew it had to be done, because I knew who I wouldn't survive losing. And that was my wife.

I didn't know what I was going to say to her. I didn't know what I felt myself when it came to Jennie, as far as all the other senses and where my thoughts were leading...

I knew that Luna was for me, but if I were being honest with myself, I couldn't imagine my life without my best friend in it. Even though I realize not all friendships last as people grow up, Jennie has been with me since I was three years old. All I've ever known is her as my friend...

...My thoughts continued as I unwillingly drifted off.

*&*#!#$^%$^

I

fell into a deep dreamless slumber, and hadn't even realized it.

Eventually, I woke up in a sweaty panic. Scared. Worried.

...I needed clarity. I needed comfort. I needed my wife.

No, no, more than that. I wanted my wife. Here. With me. Now. She was the answer to mending me. And I felt I needed to mend her as well.

Rolling over, I noticed the bed was empty of her body, but Cora my dog was, in stead, settled in Luna's place. The bedroom door was cracked, but it had been closed earlier. She must have let Cora in here but stayed on the couch. Why the fuck was she still on the couch? I never told her I wanted to be alone. I'm Taehyung Kim. I don't do alone.

Rubbing my eyes, I dragged ass into the living room, and brought Cora along with me. I found Luna and Spendor my other dog curled up beneath a crocheted quilt, asleep. That dog... I loved him, but he was pissing me off lately. He had her more than I did some nights, with our damn work schedules. It wasn't fair. I was jealous of my own damn dog.

"Luna," I whispered, gently shaking her awake. Spendor growled at me, but I snapped my fingers at him, and he quit. "Luna," I said again, into her ear. "Love ...wake up please."

She nuzzled and lifted her head, her eyes full of sleep, "What is it?"

"Why are you on the couch?"

"I thought you'd want some alone t-"

"I always want you with me, Luna."

She smiled and sat up slowly, petting Spendor when he'd whimper. He didn't like being moved. He was about as cranky she was her when it came to losing sleep. I bent down and grabbed her hips, lifting her in the air. She threw her legs and arms around me, ignoring the remote and the cover that fell onto the floor between us.

I was careful when laying her down on the bed. It was so hard to not topple over on to her and rip her clothes off, but with the belly more exposed, I couldn't do that. Ohh, but I wanted to.

"Taehyung," she said, running her fingers through my sweaty hair. "What's the matter wi-"

"I need you," I whispered, pushing her shirt toward her breasts. "I need you right now-"

Her hand stopped mine from pushing her shirt any further, and she bit her lip, looking up at me.

"What is it?"

She shrugged, breaking eye contact with me. "I've gained weight and you can really tell. My stomach is a basketball, and... It's bad now, and-"

"Luna," I sighed, shaking my head slowly. "You're perfect to me."

"But the b-"

"The baby is fine, your stomach is beautiful... You're beautiful..." I looked into her eyes, begging silently.

When that didn't work, I decided to say the words out loud, exasperatedly. "...Please just be with me. I need you, Luna."

I had to have her. I had to shove everything aside, and just be Taehyung, and have her just as Luna. Immediately.

She studied the need in my eyes, and it must have been pretty fucking obvious. I was hurting for her. Aching, again. Sex was one of those things that couples did - or at least I did - when words just weren't enough to express the feelings. I had to make sure she knew that she was irreplaceable to me. Just in case she had doubts. She shouldn't have any doubts.

"Okay," she whispered, lifting her hand from my wrist.

I did my best to move slowly when I undressed her. But, it didn't work out the way I'd hoped. I kissed every inch of skin as I revealed it. My hands grew a mind of their own. The more I focused on the buttons, the more my brain told me to rip them off. Luna's fingers reached the waistband of my pants, and she lowered them, helping me kick them off. Skin on skin was what I thought I needed to make everything negative go away. But then, once I was fully inside of her, I realized that skin inside of skin was the real desire.

I panted and pushed my face into her neck, holding myself still, careful to hold my weight above her. I pressed my lips to her left ear, absorbed her familiar smell, and kissed the lobe delicately. I whispered gently, "Thank you so much, Baby."

"For what?" she asked, curling her face into me... creating more warmth. She wound her finger around a lock of my hair.

"For loving me the way you do," I replied softly. "For your understanding. Especially now."

Pushing my face back a bit, she grasped it with her fingers, making me look at her. The curtains were wide open, and the Seattle skyline with all of it's beauty and blue midnight lights reflected iridescently in her eyes. "Taehyung," she said, thumb grazing my bottom lip, "I love you the only way I know how: I love all of you."

I bent forward a bit, and we kept our eyes open as I kissed her lips. Luna hummed, her fingers running from my shoulders, down the curve of my back.

"Stay looking at me," I whispered, as I started to move in and outside of her. "Don't take your eyes off of mine, please."

"Okay," she nodded, giving her body over to me. "I won't."

And she was perfectly mine, all over again.

I didn't rush this. I didn't try anything new. Because it wasn't about sex tonight. This was about more... Raw passion and necessity. Because making love to my wife was a necessity to me.

It amazed me, how my eyes seemed to refocus on her... Every day, as if I were seeing her for the first time... Kissing her cherry lips... Breathing in her beauty... Sharing her body with her.

I didn't care that my arms started to burn after a while, from holding myself up. I didn't care that there were likely that ten perverted men could be standing in their windows with binoculars, jerking off to the sight of us. All I wanted was to pay attention to was her. I made it my mission to get lost in Luna. To listen to her breathing, her moans, her requests of me. This would never get old. I would never grow tired of her.

She arched her back and drug her legs up my sides, giving me a different, much deeper angle. It was hard work, not letting my eyes flutter shut. But at the same time, I couldn't close them if I wanted to. She was too important to me.

I would be a complete ass if I pretended that I hadn't been with other women. But making love to my wife, to my beautiful Luna, was a wholly other experience. Anything and everything I had done before her and without her was empty, shadows in the dark.

I'm not necessarily a religious person. I classify myself more spiritual than anything. But, this…. between Luna and I, sharing ourselves with each other…this was light and life of an almost-religious experience. Luna filled me, completed me in a way I had stopped hoping for years ago.

I dropped a little lower and balanced myself on my left arm, while my right hand slipped beneath her neck and lifted her face to mine. Luna cooed in approval as my tongue danced along hers. But again, we didn't close our eyes. I had to see her. To remind myself that she was real, she was here, she was my wife, and she was mine.

Because I never wanted to just expect her to be here. I didn't want to ever take her for granted. Each day, I should feel lucky to have her, and remember that I didn't deserve her. Each moment given, and I was blessed again.

"Taehyung," she cried, her fingers grasping my face again, "I'm so close."

"Mmmm," I whispered, kissing her top lip, "I've got you."

She whimpered, her face looking almost fearful for a moment. And then she smiled, and grasped me tighter to her. I would have given anything to know what she was thinking in that moment.

Sweat slid between our bodies, and in the very dim blue lights, I noticed a flush crawl across her beautiful breasts, and up along her neck. I wanted to lick it with my tongue, but I couldn't peel my eyes from her glorious face. I could taste her sweet skin just by breathing her in.

"Almost," she whispered between pants, pulling me down closer to her with her heels. "Don't stop. I don't want you to ever leave me again."

I stilled for a very brief second when I heard her say that. What?!

"Please don't leave me," she said again, shaking her head slowly. She was smiling, but it was an almost fearful smile. Her voice was lower, too.

Fuck me. Does she think... Oh, hell no.

You need to clear this shit up real quick, you stupid bastard.

Slowing down, I pushed my forehead to hers. "Look at me. Open your eyes wider, and really look at me."

"Okay," she whimpered, swallowing hard. She did as I asked, and our bodies felt more connected than they had ever before.

"Do you see me?"

"Y-Yes."

"Do you feel me?"

"Yes."

"I am here. I am not going anywhere."

She started trembling, "It's so hot in here."

But her hands, her fingers kept guiding my hips, moving me in and out of her. Slowly, but surely. Repetitively.

I didn't lose momentum, but I didn't lose the importance of this, either. "Listen to me, Luna. Hear my words. Do you understand me?"

"Y-Yes," she said, nodding.

"Say it."

"You're not leaving me."

"Say it again."

"You're not leaving me, Taehyung.."

"I won't leave you, say it and mean it. Ever."

"You won't leave me, Taehyung. Ever."

That time, I knew she meant it. I heard it in her voice. The strength there once again. Thank God.

I felt my orgasm coming on hard, and I pushed it aside for as long as possible. I kept our fingers intertwined. Tonight had a purpose.

"I love you so fucking much," I said, kissing her forehead. "Don't doubt me."

"I won't," she gasped, meeting my hips with her own. "Ohhhh..."

A few more thrusts, and Luna's hit fast, however, and it won me over. I couldn't hold back after feeling her muscles clench around me. I released powerfully, and ground my teeth together, letting myself go. But again, I couldn't pull my eyes from hers.

We rode our waves in gasps and pants, but clung to each other, passion to passion. It felt amazing, the sensations, the rocking, the connection. But I was almost thankful when it was done, just so I could tell her how I felt. Now was a time for words. It was just as important as the love making.

I lowered my face, and lifted hers up a little, so she looked at me directly. I didn't care that I was spent. Shit needed to be said.

I spoke calmly. "I will never, ever leave you, Luna. You are mine, and I am yours, and these rings and those vows are symbols of that truth. You are the only thing, the only love that I want, and I will make sure that every single person on this planet knows this for the rest of our lives, if they don't already. ...All I ever want from my life is to make you happy. YOU. COME. FIRST. Please don't have any more doubts about this, ever, ever again. Do you hear me?"

She nodded, her warm palm covering my left cheek. "I hear you. I promise. I'm sorry. I just... my hormones, and I got a little scared for a second, but.. . I know you would never pick her over me or any-"

"No, Luna," I shook my head, lifting her face even closer to mine, "you don't get it. It isn't about picking you over anyone else. There is no choosing. There is no other option for me, and I don't want one. Ever. I'd refuse to even look for one. I married you. I want to spend the rest of my life, with you..."

"I know... it was more... about James too, not just Jennie... I'm still worried, and scared, and I kept thinking about you being away and him doing what he-"

"He won't hurt you, sweetheart." I had to get her mind off of this. Off of Jennie, off of Sean.

I slid my hand over hers and held it between our heated, naked bodies, on top of her stomach. "Look at this... You and I, we made this. Can you believe it? This is us, he is our future. I don't ever, ever, ever want to hear you say that sentence to me again, even in the form of a question, even when hormones are raging like crazy. Don't even ask it, Luna. I'm not going anywhere. That was the last time you say that. No more. Promise me, please."

"I promise you, Taehyung."

"We need to move past all this."

"I know. I promise."

Closing my eyes, I kissed her with as much energy as I had in me. I needed the warmth, the taste, the reminder of what true love was. Because all I saw was Luna when I thought about it.

After we settled down, she tried to apologize to me, explaining that she was happy that Jennie finally told me how she felt, but she worried momentarily that I had realized I had similar feelings for her. I didn't want Jennie coming between us. I didn't want Sean coming between us. I didn't want to hear apologies. She had nothing to be sorry for. This was my fault, and it was crystal clear that both situations needed to be handled immediately. I reassured her again that she was my wife, and that our marriage certificate may as well have been chiseled in stone.

She smiled as she pulled away from me, climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom. I walked outside to the patio to smoke a cigarette.

A few moments later, she met me out there and pressed herself against the back of me, bare skin to bare skin again. Home.

"Taehyung?" Luna said, as we looked across the skyline.

"Mmm?"

"...I have a favor to ask."

"All right."

"...Say you know that I'll never leave you either. Say it for the last time as well, that way we never have to have this conversation again, on both ends. No more insecurities, no more worries... No more."

I smiled, tossed my cigarette butt away, and then turned to face her. "You won't ever leave me, Luna."

"I won't," she reassured me, snuggling against my chest. "I won't."

"I know," I smiled. "And I want you to know something. I'm ripping the bandaid off tomorrow with Jennie. She's going to know the truth."

"And what is the truth?" she asked, so innocently. Damn, she was adorable.

"You're my one, Luna. Not Jennie. Not anyone else. Not ever."

"Okay.." she bit her lip, nervously. "So.. Case closed, then?"

Chuckling, I nodded, as sleep threatened to take me down, "Case closed."

She smiled at me.

"Let's get some rest, pretty girl... We've got a big day tomorrow."

"Mmm," she said, pulling me all-too-sexy-like back into the bedroom. "One more round first?"

I laughed, pulling her in my arms. "You are killing me. Do you know how late it i-"

"Please?" she batted her lashes and pulled me down toward her on the bed.

One look at her, seeing her bare, beautiful, and mine, and I was lost.

"Okay..." I sighed with a grin. "One more round."

"Perfect," she mumbled against my lips.

And perfect we were again.

-

Yoongi POV

I yawned and rubbed my stomach, entering the kitchen to find Yuri sitting on the counter, in what looked to be a really long shirt and nothing else, with a box of graham crackers between her legs.

"Je-Sus," I said, shaking my head. "Are you wearing anything behind that box?"

"I wouldn't be sitting on your counter with my bare ass," she giggled. "You do have to eat here."

"I wouldn't put it past you or Mark to bang around the kitchen, or anywhere else I don't want to think about."

"Awe, what's the matter, grumpy," she replied. "Not getting any lately?"

My bedroom door swung open, and Yuri's mouth dropped, as she watched a girl emerge from that room, into the bathroom, in nothing but a towel.

I smirked at her and pulled the butter out of the fridge.

"Guess not." she muttered.

"You guessed appropriately," I said, grabbing a loaf of bread from behind her. "What are you and Mark doing today?"

"Mark is too busy being a responsible adult, taking care of work crap, while I am planning on lots of shopping. For lingerie and high heels, mostly. Maybe a new purse. Who's the blonde?"

"Her name is Nicolette."

"Oooh, is she French? Or from somewhere foreign, perhaps?"

"Not sure... but she was speaking in unfamiliar tongues last night."

She giggled, tossing a graham cracker at me, "you're sick. How'd you two meet?"

"We went to school together. Ran into each other again at Smitty's late last night... things escalated quickly from there."

"Obviously. It's not like Yoongi Min to bring home random bar sluts."

"She's not a slut," I said lightly, giving her a knowing look. "And be respectful while she's here, please."

"My bad," she said with a sarcastic laugh. "Was she fun?"

"Mmhmm..."

"Are you going to ask her for... another... date?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because. I don't like it when gorgeous men are single... There's just no reason for a sexy man like yourself to not have a woman."

"And what if I was considering being gay?"

"Yoongi. We all know you're not."

"Then why does it worry you," I said, more of a statement than a question.

"Guess it doesn't," she shrugged nonchalantly. "So... Talked to Luna lately?"

"Mmhmm. She texted me this morning. Said her and Taehyung got a house. They meet with the Lauren today to sign the paperwork. Money's already been handled."

"No shit?" she scoffed. "The little bitch didn't text me yet."

"She asked me to tell you. She knew you were here."

"Ugh! Why couldn't she just forward the text she sent you to me?"

"I don't know. Why do women have to blow everything simple way the hell out of proportion?"

Yuri remained silent, choosing not to fight with me.

I smiled to myself. She was very smart.

"So," she said, changing the subject again. "...Talk to Jennie lately?"

"Saw her the night before last. She looked healthier. Still upset and stressed, but I could tell she had eaten. So that's good."

"Did she say much to you?"

"Not really... We exchanged slight smiles, and that was it."

"How biased," she stated. "You two are meant to be t-"

"Yuri," I hissed, as Nicolette emerged from the bathroom, and headed back into my bedroom, "please. Don't."

"Sheesh, sorry," she muttered. "Forgot the bar sl- ... Uh... Forgot the leggy blonde was here."

"She is. Stop with the Jennie nonsense. It's over."

"One question... Are you positive it's completely over?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"That's two questions."

"Just tell me why."

"Because," I exhaled, annoyed, buttering my toast, "she needs help with her problems, she's attached to someone she cannot have. I'm still trying to get over Luna. She has to focus on her next step, I have to focus on teaching my first year here, and we're both on very different roads."

Snakily, she stated, "Then what were you two doing together in the first place?"

I glared at her.

"Just a question," she said innocently, raising her hands in the air.

"That's your third question. You were only promised lee-way for one."

"Please?" she pushed out her bottom lip. "Please tell me."

I rolled my eyes and took a bite of my toast. "We were lonely," I answered simply.

"Lonely?" she repeated. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Yeah. There was an attraction, of course. She needed to get over someone, I needed to get over someone. I didn't want to see her hurting, she didn't want to see me hurting. We helped each other out, clicked in the process, sexual vibes surfaced, feelings started boiling because of the close proximity. We convinced ourselves it was love when it was lust, got swept up way too deep too fast for both of our liking. I showed her things sexually, she showed me things emotionally. She had me convinced that I could be some hopeless romantic, I had her convinced that I was what she needed... and we were both lying sacks of shit, basically, and she called it quits because she didn't want to hurt me. And, I agreed because I didn't want her to hurt me either, and I would be a really shitty person if I was just another man on her list that hurt her too." I exhaled, shaking my head.

Yuri's mouth was hanging open, "Whoa... That was wayyyy too much to process this early in the morning."

"Then you shouldn't have asked me," I said, shoving the butter back into the fridge, "tell Mark I'm busy and to refrain from knocking on my door when he gets up."

"Aye-aye, Casanova," she rolled her eyes.

"And stop eating all my damn graham crackers! You ate my last box, I know you did."

"They're good!" she called after me as I opened my door. "You buy a better kind than I do... Alyssa likes 'em too."

"That's because I only eat the best shit."

"Be sure to pass that on to the French girl before sh-"

I closed the door before she finished her sentence, and smiled at the naked blonde beneath my silk chocolate sheets.

She smiled back. That was all the incentive I needed, as I climbed in beside her and pulled her back into my arms.

-

Luna POV

When I woke up this morning, I found Taehyung hovering over me, staring and smiling.

He continued to smile at me after I climbed out of the shower, and as we got ready in front of the mirror.

...Then it continued while we were eating breakfast.

It was as if he had this amazing joke he couldn't get out of his head, but wouldn't share it with me.

By the time we got into the car, Taehyung's gradfather seated in the backseat, I thought I was going to go crazy. All he'd do was kiss the back of my hand, which was held firmly in his, and smile against my skin. "Taehyung," I said, shaking my head, "you're really freaking me out."

"Why?" he asked, for the thousandth time. "Why is it so weird that I am in a good mood? Today's exciting!"

"I know it is, but... I think your face is going to stick in that position if you don't relax your mouth."

He turned to look at me, and the devil was written in his eyes, "My mouth has been in lots of positions for long periods of time... I didn't hear you complaining about it last night."

I closed my eyes, listening to his grandfather chuckle under is his breath in the backseat of the Volvo. "Let's not reveal all our secrets, shall we?"

"Sorry, Love."

I glared at him.

"I am," he smirked, proving he wasn't truly. The he leaned toward me, and lowered his voice, "I won't be a bad boy for the rest of the day."

I really need to stop giving him so much sex. It's eating away his brain function and making room for his overgrown ego. "I'm sure you won't be."

"I mean, honestly, can you blame me? Pull down that visor, flip open that mirror, and look at yourself! I'd be a fool if I didn't go crazy over you."

"Luna," his gradfather smirked, leaning between us, "what our Taehyung is trying to explain is, now that you're pregnant, your raging hormones are rubbing off on him. It happens. Trust me, it wasn't so long ago that I remember his gr-"

"Ohhhh, okay, we don't need to hear about all that," Taehyung chuckled, waving his grandfather off, "Christ. Give me some time to swallow a few Screwdrivers before you bring that shit up."

"Taehyung, come on. If your grandparents didn't have sex, then your dad wouldn't be here... then you wouldn't be here, and then Junho wouldn't be coming."

"She's got a point, son."

"Mind your own business, old man."

*&*#!#$^%$^

"Okay," Lauren said as she slid the papers across the table toward us, "all I need is your signature where the red X's are, and then we can go see your exciting purchase."

My hand shook as I steadied the pen over the paper. "This is a really big house, Taehyung."

"I know," he rubbed my back.

"My house can fit inside of it."

"Mmhmm," he signed his name and flipped the page.

"It's going to be a lot of electricity, a lot of-"

"Luna, Sweetheart," Taehyung turned to look at me, and gave the award-winning smile, "Just sign it. It's okay."

I bit my lip, "How are we going to sell my house?"

"We'll talk about that on the way over."

"What do you mean?"

"I have an idea I'll discuss with you then."

I rubbed my hand over my nervous stomach, and swallowed heavily. "Are we sure, one hundred percent positive that we can handle this load?"

"Yes, Baby."

"Are we sure we can handle the bills included?"

"Yes, Angel."

"Are we sure we can handle the finances when something breaks or needs serious repairs?"

"Yes, Sweetheart," he continued, in that damn sing-song voice.

"Are we capable of doing the decorating and all of that?"

"Yes, Wifey. Sign the damn papers."

"Okay," I said, signing quickly.

"Remember to write Kim."

"I will."

Taehyung smirked, "I bet you wrote Luna Kim in your notebooks in school, didn't you?"

"No. Just my journal."

"I figured. All girls growing up were psycho stalkers."

"I do remember you climbing in my bedroom window a lot more than I did yours."

"Well, that's because..." He thought for a second. "Shut up!"

His gradfather asked Lauren to step outside for a minute.

I turned to Taehyung, "It's true!"

"Well, that's because you'd sneak into your bathroom and call me, 'Taehyung, I need you. Come over and make out with me'."

I nudged him with my elbow, "I did NOT say it like that!"

"Yes you did. You were horny for me every night back in school."

We continued signing. My hand was starting to hurt. "Whatever! You were the one asking for all the blow jobs."

"Well you were willing to give! I was a teenage boy! And they were good then but their fucktastic now."

"I'm glad I sucked back then but have greatly improved."

"Oh you sucked very well back then."

"Shut up, they're right outside!" I hissed.

"You brought it up!"

"I did not."

"So did."

I glared at him, "Be-have."

"Oh-kay," he said, stealing a kiss on my cheek.

"You irritate me."

"I know," he did it again. "You love me though."

"And you love me back," I sighed. "How many more damn papers are there? Jesus."

"Of course I do. And, at least twenty more, I'd say."

"Oh God... Can we get some ice cream after this?"

He smirked, "Junho talking?"

"No, Luna's doing the talking today, but I'm sure he'll vote for it too."

"Sure. We can get some," he leaned into me, dragging his nose across my neck, "Baby?"

"Mmmm?" I smiled, flipping the page over.

"You make me so happy."

I turned to face him.

"You do," he whispered into my lips. "I haven't stopped smiling since last night. Well... since you came back to me, but a lot since last night."

"Are you sucking up right now? What did you do?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "Nothing. Just being honest. Now kiss me, fool."

I did, and the door swung open. We quickly parted.

"Well, glad to see they got a lot of work done," his gradfather chuckled. "Never leave hormonal newlyweds in a room together by themselves."

"Dually noted," Lauren teased.

-

Jungkook POV

I woke up in Jennie's bed, feeling something on my leg.

For a moment, I thought Jennie woke up and was dry humping me. I got really excited.

But when I dropped my hand and realized I was touching way too much fucking hair for any woman to have, I realized...

"Holy shit!" I shouted, moving back, "Taehyung! Your fucking mutt is humping my leg!"

"He's not here," Jennie grumbled beside me in the pillow. "Just kick Spendor out."

"Where the fuck is Taehyung?"

"I think they went to do the house crap."

"How do you know? Did you talk to him?"

"No, he left a note on the white board by the door."

"Oh," I nudged the little devil dog off of the bed, "that little dog is crazy."

She giggled and shook her head. "He likes you, Kook."

"Shut up. I'm not gay, Spendor."

"You're so gay. Spendor calls it like he sees it."

"He needs to check himself. Quick."

"Oh, leave the dog alone," she rolled over and climbed out of the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To brush my teeth, pee, and take a shower."

"Can I join you?"

"In the shower?"

"To brush my teeth. But yeah, if you're offering."

She looked back at me, furrowing her brows.

I grinned at her.

"Okay," she sighed. "Stay on your side though."

"You're kidding, right?" I said, crawling off the bed, "You're actually gonna let me come in there?"

"You can take a shower, but you're definitely not coming."

"Dammit," I hissed. "You little cock teasing bitch."

"You like it," she said. "But seriously. We're dimming the lights, and you're on one side, and I'm on the other."

"Dimming the lights? How romantic."

"I mean it, Kook. I'm just doing this because Taehyung's been locking his bedroom door lately, and you have to go with me to town, and there's no other shower."

"Mmhmm. You want to see my dick, don't lie."

"Everyone's seen it, Kook. You're the one who likes to get drunk and streak at parties."

"Don't knock it until you try it sugar," I said, climbing in after her. "Give me the damn soap."

"Get it yourself. Strict no touching policy here."

"You can't even pass me a bar of soap?" I asked, as I brushed my teeth in the shower.

She wouldn't even turn to face me, and I barely saw her silhouette, "I definitely cannot."

"What's the matter, Jennie?" I spat toward the drain. "Afraid of getting slippery while wet?"

"Ohhhh, you know me so well," she grumbled. "Four feet apart at all times."

"Yes ma'am. I'm still peeking though."

"Imagine my surprise."

*&*#!#$^%$^

"You know," Jungkook scratched his head as we walked down Candlelight Turnpike, "It's going to be weird not going toward the apartment after these two weeks."

"The Escala will live on."

"I cannot believe you guys are both moving out."

"It's a six-month contract," I sighed. "A dry-erase note left for me today was a kind gesture on Taehyung's asshole part to say, 'Hey Jennie, I'm moving out in two weeks. Let me know if you need help finding a place if you cannot afford this one'. Classy."

"He doesn't know how to talk to you right now."

"Whatever. Oh, did I tell you Yoongi is looking into renting our place? Luna told me the other day."

"No," he smirked. "He lives in a rinky-ass, cheap apartment building down in the ghetto. How the fuck would he afford it? He's not well-off like you and Tae."

"Apparently, rumor has it that he knows a few people - two of them being girls - who need roommates."

"Ouch. Two girls huh? That's gotta suck to hear."

"Mmhmm." I shrugged.

"What about Mark?"

"Getting a place with Yuri next month. Had it planned for a couple months now."

"Yuri," he exhaled, rubbing his stomach, "yummy."

"Shut up! God! You can't go two minutes without thinking about sex."

He laughed, shaking his head, "I swear, that girl... She's so down to earth. Mark got lucky there. I mean, she seems so familiar. Probably just because she's friends with Luna, and they act alike."

"Could be," I shrugged. "I never really got a chance to know her other than when Yoongi and I were together. She's sweet."

"Yeah," he turned his head and smiled sweetly at me. "You're sweeter, though."

"Shut up," I nudged him as we turned the corner.

"You are," he said. "I don't lie."

I shook it off as we kept walking, and tugged on his shirt, "I like your shirt today, Jungkook. Your little red and orange plaid one... It's cute."

"Thanks," he chuckled. "You got it for me for Christmas."

"That's why I like it."

He checked me out, in my grey zip-up jacket, black tank top, mini-jean shorts, and comfy boots. "You need bigger britches. I'm going to have to cover your ass when we get deeper into town."

"Mind your own business. I need to be checked out today."

"Why?" he laughed.

"Self-esteem booster."

"You won't think that when you get a man elbowed in the jaw for checking you out in front of me."

I laughed, "Stop being the big brother, queerbait."

"It's not about being a big brother."

"Whatever. It's in your nature."

*&*#!#$^%$^

After about fifteen minutes of a steady walk, we stared up at a tall brick building, and I felt my stomach inside of my chest.

"Are you ready for this?" Jungkook exhaled, grabbing my hand.

"No."

"All you've got to do is take is a few more steps..."

My body started trembling as I looked at the writing on the glass door. "I don't know if I can do it Jungkook... It was one thing to talk about it to you last night... It's another to actually go through with this."

He turned and pulled me into his chest, wiping a few tears from my cheeks. "I want you well, Jennie. You've got to talk to someone, and as much as I love being there for you... I really think that this is where you need to do the talking. Get some of this out so that you can move on from it."

"I'm scared," I said, closing my eyes. "I know you're here, and I'm thankful, but... All I keep thinking is, 'I wish Taehyung was here with us'. I don't know why. I know it wouldn't change anything, but I still want him here. Regardless of all the stupid bullshit, he's my friend too, and we're supposed to support each other."

"I know," he said, kissing the top of my head. "It's going to be okay though, I promise you. I'll be your support, okay? If anything looks shady, we'll bolt... But she's a high-class woman, Al. Really smart. I think she'll help you out. She's got great references, wonderful background."

"It's not about that... I just don't know if I can talk about these things that I tell you... I don't even tell you that much!"

"The point is, you asked me for help last night, and we're going to do it the right way. Come on, baby. I'm right here with you. I promise, I'll help you through this."

"What if she tells me I'm crazy," I whimpered. "What if she tells me I'm psycho and need to be locked up. What if-"

"She won't. She's only here to advise."

"I just..." I cried, trying to steady my breath. "I don't know if I'm strong enough for this."

"You are."

"How do you know?!"

"Because we've made it this far. This is the second time you've asked for help. You want help, J. So let's get you some."

I pushed my face into his chest, "I need help."

"See? You can do this."

"No," I shook my head. "I mean... You've got to push me in the building or something. I can't."

He chuckled, "I'm not going to do that. You can't be forced into this. So...We're going to walk together... Come on... Let's take baby steps."

He twisted us around and linked us side by side, "One..."

We took a step, "Good. ...Two..."

Another slow one, "Three... I'm proud of you."

One more step.

My body shook so damn much, I thought I was going to have a seizure. All I kept thinking about was how the door seemed to stretch further and further away from me.

"Four..."

I nodded, as he opened the door, but kept me attached to him, "Step up..."

I did, noticing the ground change from sidewalk to white linoleum.

"There," he whispered in my ear as we took another step, "...Look at you, Miss Braveheart... Look at you walking now. Whoo-Wee!"

"Let's just do it," I said, clutching his hand, "before I run out."

He held my hand all the way into the office, until we met the young man behind the glass window.

"Hello," I said, shaking. "M-My name is Jennie Kim. I'm here..."

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. "I'm here to see Mrs-Doctor ...uh.. Mrs. C-Cabot."

"Alright," he said. "Is this your first time visiting?"

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed. You're okay, Jennie. Breathe.

"And the reason behind your visit today?" he asked as I heard him stick some papers into a clipboard.

I shivered, trying to remember how to inhale.

Jungkook rubbed my back, comforting me as much as he could. I knew he wouldn't speak for me. At least he was letting me know he was here.

"Ma'am?" he asked, after a moment of silence.

"Eating disorder," I said weakly. "Emotional distress... Abandonment issues... Self-mutilation... You name it, I've got it or done it."

I looked up at him, shrugging sourly, embarrassed. "Basically," I said, tears streaming down my face, "I'm going crazy."

He shook his head, giving me a warm smile, "Everyone thinks that they're crazy. You'd be surprised how many learn that they aren't."

"How do you know I'm not crazy?" I practically snapped, though I meant it to sound a lot more light-hearted than it actually came out.

He grinned politely, remained calm, and slipped the papers beneath the opening of the glass wall, followed by a pen, "...The crazy ones don't ask for help."

-

Taehyung POV

Luna squealed louder with each passing mile that moved us closer to the house. Our house.

I guessed she was no longer nervous about the funding by the way she was bouncing in the passenger seat.

I found her quite adorable. I think I told her a few times as well.

"Oh my gosh," she said, turning toward the backseat to talk to my gradfather, "I know I've said this a gazillion times, but thank you so much for helping us! I can't remember the last time I was ever this excited!"

"Uh, hopefully when you married me," I teased, giving her a playful wink.

"That came in a close second," she joked back, running her fingers through the back of my hair. "But this... this is a house. Our house. My dream house!"

"I know," I chuckled, "but we're not there yet, baby love."

She inhaled. Though the windows were up and the AC was full blast, filling the Volvo with manufactured air, she smiled and cooed, "I can almost smell the newness of it. Can you smell it, Taehyung?"

"You're funny," I laughed, shaking my head. "I only smell the leather inside this car."

"Can you drive a little faster?"

"I'm going ten over."

"When has Taehyung Kim ever gone slower th-"

"Since your body turned into a cozy, beautiful, rounding, loving, oh-so-sexy incubator."

"...Oh," she said, then slumped into the seat.

I lifted and kissed the inside of her wrist. "I promise you, we'll be there in a few more minutes."

Taking a left, we turned onto a narrow, blacktop road, surrounded by trees on the outskirts of Seattle. Luna sat straight up, looking out the window. "Wow... it's like home all over again out here..."

"I know. It's a home away from home."

"I love it."

We pulled up toward a security gate, and Lauren leaned forward, showing the man her badge. He nodded and buzzed us in, and we kept moving the next three miles, winding around, enjoying the tall Sequoia trees, the variety of colors, the smell of fresh grass...

It sure gave living in The Escala new perspective... As well as Luna's house in a crowded suburb.

I didn't realize how much I missed slight seclusion until we came back to it. Then I felt a little homesick.

Eventually, we ended up in front of a wrought-iron gate, and met another security guard. We told him who we were, that he was now working for us. He was a gracious man, telling us to meet him later to give him new codes for all the gates whenever we had extra time.

Pulling down our drive, I felt my hand shaking. As I was clutching Luna's hand in mine, I didn't know if she was causing it, or if I was.

"Is it possible to physically drown from feeling such intense emotion?" she asked softly.

"No. Though I have wondered about that myself, sometimes. I know it can't be possible. If it was, I'd be at the bottom of the abyss by now."

She brought our joined hands up to her lips and kissed my thumb, her eyes the size of saucers as we drove through what was now our beautiful vista toward the house. Our house. Our scenery.

"Ours," she whispered shakily as we pulled into the circle drive, and climbed out of the car, next to the stone water fountain. "All ours."

I ran around and grabbed her hand, suddenly very excited, "Come on, Baby."

She allowed me to pull her down the lane and around the sidewalk, across the hand-made stone bridge crossing the colorful stream, and up toward the front door. Then she jumped in my arms, and I was practically thrown toward the door.

It turned me on something awful.

"Luna, Baby," I chuckled as she kissed me and then hummed, "what are you doing? My gradfather and Lauren are coming in here, too."

"I know," she sighed. "But you've got to carry me in. I'm your new wife, remember?"

"You're my only wife," I chuckled as I turned, unlocked the door, and then adjusted her body to lay bridal-style in my arms. "Ready for this?"

"As long as we are together, I am ready for anything."

I smirked and kissed her cheek, ignoring my grandfather cracking jokes about me being a pussy-whipped newlywed to our realtor. I carried her through, into the grand foyer.

...Cue audible gasp.

As soon as I set her on her feet, Luna's white teeth slipped across her bottom lip, and she turned to me with a radiant smile.

It wasn't the smell of the fresh, clean, new house that obliterated my senses. It was her. I was quickly as hard as one of millions of rocks that covered our property.

I wanted to taste her beautiful face.

It was a strange reaction, but I did. And when I stepped forward to actually fucking do it, my gradfather slipped between us, holding a very young, blonde realtor's hand. Fucking cock blocking old-time player. "Well," he grinned, giving me a knowing, don't go there look, "isn't this something? Wow! Look at this, Taehyung."

I glared at him and stepped around them, grabbing my wife gently by the forearm and pulling her toward me. "It is. Truly. Come on Luna, let's walk around."

He glared at me while I glared back. I pulled her in front of me, making sure to press myself into her back.

I knew what he was thinking. His eyes read something of 'She's pregnant and excited about the house and all you can think about is fucking her until the sun goes down?! Get a grip, you horny ass.'

So I shot him back an equal expression of, 'She's my goddamn wife, and if I want to fuck her so hard that her body starts audibly begging for me to split it into two, I will, regardless of if you and Lauren are present in the mother fucking room. Is that alright with you?'

All he did was give me an arrogant smirk and wink in response. I scoffed like a child. Those were my expressions. His should be retired, the arrogant ass.

Luna giggled as we turned to the left, ignoring the double staircase in various shades of wood banisters and white glaze, toward the bronzed kitchen. As she walked, her ass rubbed delicately against my dick, teasing me for all she was worth. All I could think about was being inside of it. She ran her polished fingernails down the granite counter top and stared up at the vaulted ceilings. "So beautiful..." she muttered, in awe.

"Mmhmm," I said, listening to my gradfather and Lauren's echoed discussion in the main room and smiling at the wonderful advantage of seclusion, "do you see that counter there in the middle?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"That's where I plan to sit you, spread your sexy legs, and lick you. Repeatedly."

"Taehyung!" she gasped, shivering against my frame. "Behave."

"Not a chance," I said, grabbing the back pockets of her jeans and jerking her hard against my erection.

Her fingers moved behind her, onto my thighs, and ran around the outside, up toward my own pockets, where she hooked her thumbs in. We were now flush. It made me want her more, if that was possible.

I pushed my face into her hair against the back of her neck and breathed her in, mumbling a jumbled mixture of, "wantyousofuckingmuch."

I couldn't even focus on the damn house. Oh well. It's ours. We own it. I could focus later. Sex was always more important.

I turned us around, heading toward the pool table. "And over here... is where I plan to let you play with my balls and stick..." I grinned a devilish grin.

She giggled and shook her head, blushing something fierce, "Oh Taehyung."

I turned us back, heading down a long hall, toward the utility room. "And here... is where I plan to fuck you on the vibrating dryer..."

She pushed herself into me, and I hissed, because I knew she did that shit on purpose. "Watch it girl, or I will do it right now."

"Whatever. You're all talk," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room, back toward them.

I pulled her back into it, and playfully bit her left earlobe, before whispering, "is that what you think? That I won't do it?"

She pushed into me and shook her head, the little cock tease. "I know you won't."

"Why's that?" I practically growled into her ear.

"We've got people here... The realtor and your grandfather!"

"And?"

"And so I know you won't with them right there."

I reached my foot past her, kicked the door closed, and jerked her to me playfully, before nibbling against her neck. "You obviously have no idea who you're talking to."

She gasped as I spun her to face me, then turned us around to sit her on top of the dryer. Then her face took on the expression of a nervous, love-struck teenager about to see a dick for the very first time. She must have truly not expected me to do it.

I grabbed the back of her knees and wrapped her legs around my hips, before pressing my mouth to her bottom lip, my fingers finding the seam of her 7 For All Mankind boot-cut maternity jeans. They were fucking sexy on her new form. My God. I loved her pregnant. I loved everything about it. EV-ER-Y-THING.

She inhaled sharply into my mouth as I unzipped her slowly, before reaching down to unzip myself. It was times like that, I was thankful maternity jeans didn't have buttons. One less thing to dick around with.

"Taehyung," she grasped my shirt, pressing her chest into my blue button down, "are we really going to do this now? If we turn on the dryer then they're going to know."

"To hell with turning on the dryer," I said, lifting her with one arm as I carefully pulled down her jeans with my free hand, making sure to not hurt her. "Save that for later. I can give you all vibrations you need."

Her hands helped me lower my jeans, growing just as needy as I was. "You have to... make this... fast."

I smirked and shook my head, slipping two of my fingers between her legs, feeling the moisture gather there, "I can be fast..."

"Mmm," she gasped as I moved up toward her clit, "I mean it."

"I'm ready when you are, Love."

She grabbed my wrist firmly between us, moved our hands down, and pushed two of mine inside of her, "...I'm ready."

I about came on spot. "Goddamn."

She leaned forward, taking my bottom lip between her teeth, and again I almost jizzed all over the top of the brand new dark pewter Whirlpool machine. I pushed her face into mine and tilted her pelvis, making sure to angle it enough so it'd be comfortable for her. The last thing I wanted was her to get insecure over her stomach. To me, showing belly and all, she was perfect.

...And I thought that when I wasn't horny for her, just for the record.

Oh who in the hell am I kidding? I'm always horny for her. I should invent a self-help group for myself, like AA. 'Horny For Luna Anonymous' or some shit. Because there was no help for me. And I didn't want help. Which meant I wouldn't be going to those meetings even if they did exist. Shit.

"Please," she panted against my forehead as she pulled me flush to her, as far as I could go considering the space we were in, "take me."

I nodded and slowly pushed in, then pulled out. Her head rolled forward, and our eyes locked as I pushed deeper. A couple more thrusts and I was in to the hilt. I let out a groan and trembled, fully sheathed inside this perfect woman. It shouldn't even be allowed. For anyone.

Luna grabbed a fistful of my hair and turned my face toward her neck, pushing my mouth to her skin. I smiled, feeling the bans of heat cascade to my nose. I began meeting her hips with my own. She threw her arms around my neck and shoulders, as if she were physically trying to hold me to her. It made thrusting a little difficult from that angle, but after a few readjustments, I hit it, and I hit it good.

So good, in fact, that I had to cover her mouth with my hand.

"Mmmfff," she moaned, breathing heavily through her nose.

I pulled away for a second, just to make sure I wasn't hurting her, but then a wicked moan glorified in echoes around the utility room, ringing in my ears and going straight to my groin.

"Ohhhh, Taehyung."

I smiled as I covered her mouth again, and heard our two guests entering the kitchen, talking about the glazed cherry wood cabinets.

Luna's fingernails scraped delicately down the back of my neck and again, she pushed my face into her skin, beneath her ear.

So I bit her there. Hard.

And then she really fucking moaned. The noises of her, of our bodies, of our breathing... it was all too much.

After licking my fingers, I slipped them back between us and desperately found her spot, throbbing and swollen. I rolled it around, fighting to keep myself quiet.

Her hard nipples were flush against my chest, separated by only thin layers of fabric. Everything about her oozed sex, and I wished I could somehow shrink myself and crawl inside of her body completely, just so I could absorb her entire being. Because I'd do it in a heartbeat.

She moaned again as I started to speed up, her walls gripping tight. I pushed forward a bit, causing her to lean back. That angle sent me deeper, and I practically saw stars and fucking fairies and shit. I threw my head back for a second, gasping cold air, because the crook of her neck was both sexy and steamy.

She hummed, running her hand down my chest, fisting a piece of my shirt and jerking me back to her. God, I fucking loved it when she got all feisty.

My tongue sought hers and found it instantly. I made sure to kiss her the way she wanted, while fucking her the way she wanted.

Our guests were closer still, discussing the pool table down the hall from us. Talking about how they loved the color of the felt.

Luna's fingers wound around a piece of my hair on the top of my head, and then she pulled my head back and bit down on my Adam's apple.

I came, hard and speechless.

She followed me over the edge.

Exhausted, our hands trembled as we struggled to cover ourselves. Just as I pulled her off of the dryer, the door swung open and Lauren's voice echoed in. "And this is their utility- Oh, hi... guys."

My gradfather's mouth would not close as his eyes bounced from her to me to Luna in ping-pong fashion.

I smirked egotistically, grabbed Luna's hand, and passed by them without saying a word.

I'm sure the smell of fresh, blissful sex was in the air.

They could figure it out from there.

-

Jungkook POV

Slurping up spaghetti noodles, I studied Jennie's expression from across the table. She was stabbing a meatball with all the gusto of a serial killer.

"So," I said, as I swallowed a mouthful, "...are you going to do your first assignment?"

"Yes," Her voice was barely audible.

"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow.

She glared at me. "Yes, Jungkook, I'm going to do it."

"Do you want me to help you with it? She said it was okay."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "She practically gave you a shiny yellow star."

"Oh come on, don't be a hater. I was there to support you."

"I know," she frowned, tapping the back of my hand. "I'm sorry. I'm just... not processing much of anything right now."

"What do you mean?" I asked, swirling my fork around to gather noodles. "The assignment?"

"What was it again?" she sighed, picking at her garlic toast.

"She said you need to sort through your trash and figure out what's recyclable."

"And what does that mean?"

"Pick out what's important in your life, and what you can toss out. You have to have at least two in the toss-out pile, for each category. She was adamant about that."

"And the categories were Work, Material Possessions, and People, right?"

"Mmhmm," I said, tapping the cute brunette waitress passing by on the arm. "Excuse me... Can I bum a piece of paper from your tablet and a pen?"

"Sure," she smiled down at me, "how much paper do you need?"

"Just one piece."

I watched as she tore two pieces then winked before passing. The first piece had, 'Annette' written on it, with a phone number and a smiley face. How sweet.

"You cannot go one day, can you?"

"What?" I smiled at Jennie.

"You know what. Anyway... Okay. Work. I need everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes."

"There's nothing you can throw out?"

"No. It's my life."

"Work should never be a person's life, Jennie, but we'll skip it for now, because you must think of at least two. Material Possessions?"

"Umm... I'm going to need a new place to stay, apparently."

"You can stay with me. What else?"

"I'm not staying with you."

"Why not?" I looked up at her blankly.

"Because I'll cramp your style, and Heather and I hate each other, and it'll just be weird."

"Correction," I stated. "You've never cramped my style unless you wear that stupid hot pink shirt I hate or something. Heather doesn't hate you - you hate her, and how the fuck would it be weird?"

"Because... a girl there while your girlfriend comes over..."

"She's not my girlfriend! You're there all the time, anyway."

"I know, but..." She growled, running her fingers through her shiny locks, "I don't want to be in a guest room across the hall while you're fucking her."

"Okay. I'll put a sock on the door or something. We'll create a system, that way we know when to not be across the hall."

Taking a sip of her wine, she mumbled, "You're missing the point."

"And what is the point?"

"I don't want to cause any problems for anyone else. Especially any couples."

"Jennie," I chuckled, running my hand down the back of her forearm, "you're my friend and I love you, and there is no trouble. I want you with me. Besides, we're supposed to be going to that Kings of Leon concert in a few weeks. It'll make it all easier."

"Have you told Heather about that yet?"

"About what?"

"The concert, Jungkook."

"Why would I tell her? It's you and me going, I don't want her there."

"She'll be pissed to know you're taking me and not her."

"Uh... I made these plans nine fucking months ago."

"What about Taehyung?"

"Hmm?" I raised my eyebrow.

"He was supposed to be going with Aimee. Remember? Made the plans before we all went to the cabin? He asked her to go with us. I wonder if he's going to get the ticket back and go with Luna now."

"Well, obviously. Why the fuck would he take Aimee? He's married. Luna would shoot his dick off with a machine gun and claw Aimee's tits to shreds with her fingernails."

She rolled her eyes, staring at the napkin dispenser. "...Hey Kook?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you like Aimee? For Taehyung?"

I shrugged, thinking at it. "She was cute. Cuter than Yeri, the little psycho skank whore."

"But did you like her for him?"

Pursing my lips, I thought a little more, "I guess. She was all right. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious... I think she was the only girl of his besides Luna that I didn't despise with a heated passion."

"Well, that's because Aimee was afraid of you," I chuckled. "Remember that time she stayed the night over at my house with you and Taehyung and she burnt popcorn in the microwave? Set that shit on the wrong temperature or something? That shit fucking stunk so bad! You fucking went off on her for that shit before I even had a chance to see if my kitchen was burned to a crisp!"

"Ugh, that was awful. That smell lasted for three days."

I laughed, rubbing my stomach. "I thought you and Taehyung were going to start swinging fucking bats at each other that night! One of the worst fights in history!"

"He got so pissed at me," she giggled, "for telling her that she was an idiot. And I told him that her boyfriend probably knew how to work the damn microwave, and I could call him for Taehyung! I thought Taehyung was going to punch me!"

"That shit was funny as hell!" I grinned. "It makes you wonder what Taehyung's gonna do if you ever fight with Luna now that they're on complete lock down with each other. I don't care who it is, even me. That mother fucker won't think twice before swinging fucking guns out. I'm talking fists blazing! No one touches her but him, and no one hurts her feelings in his presence."

She nodded, spacing off. Then she said calmly, "He's like that with any woman he cares about... But her definitely. Hey. Remember in high school when he got suspended for kicking the hell out of that Kevin guy for me? Luna was so angry."

"Oh yeahhhhh," I nodded. "He pushed you into the basketball pole or something in gym and called you a whore. You were upset and came and got me and Taehyung, but I couldn't do anything because I was already on probation for basketball as it was. Taehyung fucking walked out of practice, ignored the coach yelling, lashed out at Kevin, threw him on the ground. He broke his fucking nose, put him in the hospital, and injured his own fucking hand in the process. That shit was priceless."

"Remember the argument they had that night at my house? She raced home from school to find him over there because he snuck out. She was so upset with him for doing that."

"I remember, I remember," I smirked. "That was the first night she gave him head."

"What?!" Jennie screeched loudly, covering her mouth as on-lookers stared at us. "What do you mean?"

I grinned, "Taehyung didn't tell you it was that night?"

"No."

"Yeah. They made up just as fucking quickly as the fight began, and she followed him to his house and snuck in his bedroom. One thing led to another and..."

"Oh God," Jennie shook her head, "the beginning of Taehyung Kim the Horn Dog."

"Exactly."

She giggled, "Leave it to Luna to start that up."

We fell into a relaxed conversation, going through a list of all the people in her life, dividing them up between Trash and Recyclable. I avoided a few names for as long as possible. But, eventually, it was shit or wipe your ass time. "And," I said, tapping my pen on the paper while she ate a bite of her food, "Yoongi?"

She sucked the noodle up and nodded, "Recyclable, I think. If he wants to be."

I nodded, writing his name down. "Me?"

"Duhhhh," she scoffed, giggling slightly. "You're not going anywhere, are you?"

"I don't want to. But, if I'm a bad influ-"

"No. Like you told me, I want you with me, Kook. You're my bud."

"Thanks," I fake blushed, smirking. "And Luna?"

"Definitely Recyclable. Did I tell you she texted me today?"

"No. What'd she say?"

"She said, Hey. Wanted to tell you I'm thinking of you. Hope you're not worried about what we discussed. Proud of you, and though it's hard for him to deal right now, Taehyung's proud of you too. Call if you need me."

"That was sweet of her."

"Yeah..."

"What about Taehyung?"

"Hmm?"

I took a deep breath, tapping my pen on each side of the paper. "Where does he fit in your life right now?"

She studied the paper and shrugged her shoulders slowly, looking tired. "...I'm not sure anymore."

-

Taehyung POV

After our necessary quickie (thanks to my husband's teasing), Taehyung and I explored the rest of the two and a half story house, the guest house, the caretaker's house, some of the 8.5 acres of trees and brush, and ended up down by the dock lift and the lake.

He stood behind me, chin pressed to my shoulder, and turned his face in to kiss my neck a few times, "...What do you think, Angel?"

"I've never been happier."

He slipped his fingers beneath my shirt, and ran his hands around my stomach. "And what do you think, little man?"

I covered his hands with my own, watching the sun shine down on the water, "I wish he'd kick me, instead of the little flutters and stuff. I want a swift kick."

"He will. He's being a bit stubborn. He gets it from you."

I scoffed, nudging him with my elbow, "From you, not me."

"Mmhmm. See? You're being stubborn right now."

"Do not use that line on me! You're doing it too."

"Mmhmm," he said again, chuckling. "Look at this view, babe... We get the best of both worlds... One view is relaxing and all lake, then to the left, we've got the city skyline."

"I know," I sighed. "I keep thinking it's all a-"

"It's not a dream."

I smiled and nodded slowly.

"When do you want to start picking out bedrooms?"

"Bedrooms, as in plural?"

"Yeah. Junho's... Our next baby... and the next... and the next..."

"Oh, so now we're having more than one?"

"Of course. Big family. I want a little girl next please."

"I'll get right on that, Daddy."

He smirked, kissing my earlobe. "I think we should put Junho's room in the crook of the hall, right down from ours. That one? What do you think?"

"Yeah... I liked that one too."

"And that other door connects to another bedroom... We can put our next child in there, so they can open the door and play together when they want."

"Okay," I whispered. "I agree. Um... How far apart do we want our children? The gap?"

"With our luck, they won't be far at all. I can see it already. Oh God."

I giggled, "I'll kill you if you get me pregnant right after Junho."

He chuckled, "I can't help it if my swimmers are champions."

"Then we'll have to get something t-"

"Nooo," he practically whined like a four-year-old, squeezing me to him, "I hate fucking condoms now."

"You always used them before."

"Yes. But now, you came back to me and I was re-introduced to your... heaven. After that kind of loving, I never, fucking ever want anything between my skin and yours. Ever."

"Taehyung, we're not having eighteen thousand toddlers running around! I refuse."

"But the creation can be so much fun... Hint... Hint."

I closed my eyes and sighed, inhaling the freshness of the outdoors. "I wonder what nicknames we're going to have for our kids. All kids have nicknames."

"I already have mine picked out for Junho."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yep."

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling you. It's a surprise."

I sighed, chewing on the inside of my left cheek, "What about the nursery? Is your mom still helping us set up the house?"

"Yes, Love. We need to go shopping tonight, get some more things. Like a crib, for instance."

"Yeah... I'm excited."

"Me too."

"Do you think you'll change diapers?"

He nodded into my hair, "I'm not one of those men, Luna. I'm an equal participant. I'd change your diapers if I had to... and probably will when we're both in a nursing home one day."

"Oh God," I groaned. "Let's just get through the next twenty years of parenthood before you start sending me closer to my deathbed."

He laughed sexily, "Yes ma'am."

"Wow," I sighed, looking over toward the city, then back toward our land. "I can't wait to bring Spendor and Cora here. They're going to love it. They get a yard."

"I know," he smiled at my subject change. "We all are."

Then he changed it right back, "I can't wait to break in the house." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "We've got a lot of ground to cover, Baby. That's a load of square footage. Where should we fuck next?"

"Taehyung. Can you go just on-"

"No. You've done and cursed me. I want you, all the damn time, and I think you know it and do this shit on purpose."

"Like what?" I laughed.

"Like rubbing your delicious ass all over my dick right now... Yes, I know you're doing it on purpose... Makes me want to bend you over this boat ramp and lick it."

"You are so gross." I shivered, but he was right. I was doing it on purpose. And I wanted him, just as badly as he wanted me.

"Whatever." He kissed my neck, brushing the hair off first. "Can, I tell you something?"

"Mmhmm," I breathed him in.

"It's a secret," he whispered, sending more chills, this time straight to my core.

"Okay," I smiled.

"...You're my real best friend, Luna."

I bit my lip.

"I mean it, you really are these days," he said softly. "I adore Jennie and Jungkook, and I consider Jennie to be the closest, but... it really is you. You're who I think about when the sun comes up and you're who I dream about when the sun goes down. And... As happy as I am that you and I ended up the way that we are... I think that, even if we just became friends... I'd still be standing on this dock beside you, and would still be enjoying the sun setting over the water just as much as I am now... All I desire is this closeness with you."

I turned to face him. The expression on my face was nothing but loving.

"And," he whispered. "Thank you for this. For giving me my life back. For your understanding, like I said earlier. For being you, and standing here with me."

"You're welcome." I kissed his lips tenderly, and then turned back to the water. "Wanna know a secret of mine?"

"Mmhmm," he kissed my hair.

"I love you so damn much, it sickens me.."

"Really?" he smiled.

"Yes. I'm sure people probably roll their eyes every time I gush about you and want to bash our brains in with a two-by-four because we're newlyweds and all of that."

"Awesome." He turned me around slowly and gave me a sweet, .

Then, because he's Taehyung, he also winked and said, "So... does that mean you want to fuck again?"

I punched him playfully in the gut, "Go away. My goodness."

He laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me back toward the house with him. "Come on... let's go see if my gradfather molested Lauren yet."

As we entered the house, low and behold, him and Lauren were sitting awfully close to each other on the couch, and his hand was on her knee.

I thought Taehyung was going to have a heart attack.

He squeezed my hand and cleared his throat obnoxiously loud, gaining their attention.

"Ahhh," he said, unwinding his other arm from the back of the couch. "There you two are. We were wondering if we had to send for a search and rescue team."

"Yeah, you seem awfully worried about us."

Lauren flushed and stood up quickly, brushing her hands down her pencil skirt, "Well... It looks like you two have everything settled here. Shall we go back toward the gate to give your new codes to the security guard?"

Taehyung nodded, but he cut him off. "That won't be necessary."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm hiring new security for you. And we're going to have two more posts built, on the east and the west ends of this property. It'll be finished in the two weeks it's going to take to get you both settled and moved in."

"Oh," Lauren said, nodding absent-mindedly. "Well then. I should be getting back, if you're ready."

"Yeah, we'll take you back," Taehyung said, leading me out. "We've got some re-arranging to do back there as well."

-

Taehyung POV

Yoongi came over once we arrived back in town, and Luna left with him a little while later. He was helping her sort through some of the things at her house, primarily there to lift the boxes, since Yoona and Jimin weren't back yet. She took Spendor with her, while I stayed here and sorted through all this mess.

I sighed, looking around my bedroom. I had a lot of shit. You never realize how much shit can be tucked away or lost, until you have to pull it all out and sort through it. I didn't even want to think about going through my walk-in closet this moment. I would hang myself with the nearest fucking wire hanger.

I wasn't sure which I despised more - packing it all up, lugging it into a vehicle, moving it over, or unpacking and finding new places for every fucking thing. I quickly decided that I hated it all in equal measures.

Growling, I piled the eighth full box of random shit on top of my bed, and sealed it shut with duct tape. I marked it 'Random TK Bedroom Shit' with a sharpie. "What do you think, Cora?" I asked, turning to find her lying on her belly, next to my tall windows of cool glass. "Think you're ready for all this chaos coming our way?"

She blinked a few times, staring at me.

"Yeah. I'm not sure I am either." I tossed the marker on the bed, then turned back to her. "I need a beer. You want one?"

She huffed and closed her eyes. She was moody today. I think she sensed a change was coming.

"Be right back."

As I entered the kitchen, I noticed Jennie sitting in the living room, folded in a chair with a notepad and book in her lap. She noticed me at the same time, and our eyes connected for a few painful seconds, then we both looked away. Quickly pulling a beer from the fridge, I turned on my heels and quietly left, heading back into my room. I closed the door lightly, pulled the bottle opener from my key chain in my pocket, twisted the lid off of the bottle, and flicked it between my fingers across the room, creating a pinging sound as it flew.

I hated fighting with her. I hated feeling closed off from my friend. It made everything feel miserable and my heart hurt.

Because I knew I was more to blame for Jennie's feelings for me than I gave myself credit for. And that meant all this shit inside the dark and deep storm of my past was about to come tumbling out, cracking under the pressure of this way-overdue conversation at any minute.

I told Luna when she and I first started talking that I'd done a lot of shit I wasn't proud of, things she wouldn't like if she knew.

I wasn't lying.

It scared the hell out of me to think about telling her. I knew some of it would be brought up in therapy. Jennie was another nervous subject.

Facing Jennie is one thing when you say you're going to do it, and a whole other frightening fucking mess when you actually do it.

The music came on from the living room. Sad rock music. The kind that she listened to sometimes when she straightened up the house.

I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head, irritated.

I hated all of this. I hated who I was before Luna came back to me. I hated myself for what I'd done in the past. I hated feeling angry with God for splitting the two of us up, and for fucking our lives up immensely in the process. And I hated who Luna and I drug down with us, because we didn't want to deal with the pain alone. Jennie and Yoongi, in particular. Jennie mainly.

There was a light tap on my bedroom door, a brush of knuckles, as it threatened to crack open. I knew it was her.

I swallowed hard, wiping the back of my face with my hand. "Yeah?"

"...Can I come in?" she asked softly behind the door.

"Of course," I frowned, sticking a hand in my pocket as I held the beer close to my chest.

She entered slowly, like a small child inspecting a large playground for bullies or monsters. I felt my heart twist inside my body as I watched her, not sure of what to say. She wore faded jeans and a black tank top, her hair swept in a half up, half down thing, framing her face. She was pretty and pained, with an even mixture of guilt. I'm sure my expression mimicked hers.

"Taehyung," she said, sliding her hands in her pockets as she looked at me. "I'm not sure what to say now... or how to act around you."

I nodded in understanding.

She nodded back to me.

We were silent.

Echoes of shallow hesitant breathing bounced around the room in waves.

She stepped a foot closer.

I didn't move.

"Taehyung..." Her eyes were locked on the floor between us, but slowly rose up at to meet mine. Jennie forced herself to stay locked on my eyes. "I cannot apologize for how I feel. I wish I could. I want to. But I can't, because..." She exhaled, shaking her head quickly. "According to Fran Corbet, that'd be denying who I am and the choice I have made, and... I need to be accepting of myself, in order to get better. But... I am really sorry that I never told you how I felt before you got married. I should have. That's my fault, my stupidity."

"Who's Fran Corbet?" I asked, exasperated.

"She's a therapist I've agreed to see. My first session was today."

I felt my arms twitch with the sudden urge to hug her, but I forced myself to stay still. "I'm proud of you."

"Don't be yet," she cocked her head, half-smiling. "I have a long way to go, she says."

I nodded again.

"Before you decide whether or not you're willing to accept my apology, I feel that I need to explain things to you better. Not to justify myself, but... to make you comprehend that there were indeed two equal parties involved in this... Do you have some time?"

"Always for you, Jennie," I frowned. "You know that."

She closed her eyes, breaking our connection, and her voice became shaky. "Please do no say things like that to me right now... I realize that you don't understand the meaning behind your words as I take them, but... try."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"Don't be... I just... I need you to listen." She looked up at me, broken.

I nodded again.

"...I am in love with you, Taehyung Kim," she said calmly, struggling not to cry as she kept her eyes on mine. It was really hard to not look away. But, like her, I forced myself to stay put. "I think I have been, since I was eight years old... Maybe not that young, truly, I don't really know. But... that's when I really remember the first time being mesmerized by you and your power. At the time, my mom and I had been living with you and your parents for four years... My father had just called to stir up drama, and... he said some... a-awful things to me. You know how he is. I started to cry, and ran out of the house, and into the woods. I didn't stop until I reached a water bank, a couple miles away from the house."

"I'd stayed out for a long time, and it was getting dark. But I'd felt exhausted. All my life, since I could remember, my dad was... just Alan The Ass. I can't even describe him in words. You know what he tried to do to me, how careful he was to not actually do it so he wouldn't get caught, why he was..." She stopped, motioning her hands to talk for her.

I nodded, letting out a strangled breath. Again, I itched to reach out and hold her.

"I don't know how he got the number to the house," she said, bouncing from left to right, shaking. "He'd just been released on good behavior, after all. All his other contacts had been blocked from the land-line by your dad, but he ended up finding another way to contact us. I answered, and I shouldn't have because you and I weren't supposed to answer the phone. But I did because no one else heard it. He started... complimenting me, telling me how much he missed me, how sorry he was for 'confusing' me. He told me to not tell my mom, that she wouldn't understand."

"He said that 'pretty good girls can keep secrets', just as he taught me when I was a baby. When I started shaking and told him I was going to tell her, he turned angry. Went off, lashing out, calling me ugly, stupid, useless, a waste of a sperm, a fat whore, nothing more than a stain on a bed sheet... Telling me that I was a worthless piece of shit who would never deserve to be touched by a good man, and I was cursed to nothingness. I'd never amount to anything. I needed to lose weight, but even then, it wouldn't be enough to earn the love and respect of a man. All a man would ever do was fuck me hard and then fuck me over. He swore on his life that he'd make sure I'd pay for the pain I'd caused him."

All I could do was nod slowly. I felt the pain rolling off of her, the pain in my own eyes.

She swallowed, releasing her first tear. "You found me, Taehyung. I'm not sure how hard or how long you looked. But it was you that found me next to that old, broken down shack. It was you that knelt before me, and pulled me in your arms... At eight years old, you picked me up off of the ground with your tiny strength and let me cry on your damn shoulder, just as you do now when people are hurt... I told you what he... what he'd said to me, and you already knew about all the shit before that, but... You were so angry. I told you that I felt like he was all over me, again. On my skin, on my neck, his stupid fingers running trails down my spine while I was in that damn, overheated garage again. Ages one through four, living those moments over and over again. The strokes. The petting. The groping. The breathing. Even though he never entered me, I felt him there, at eight fucking years old."

She wiped her hand across her face, knocking the tear off, toward the carpet. "You told me I didn't have to wear him anymore. He was no longer a part of me. I'm not sure what all you could have possibly understood, being a sheltered boy at that age. But you seemed like such an old soul, looking back. You ... y-you carried me into the river, and pretended to hand me a bar of soap... It was 'invisible, shielding soap'. You said that I could..."

Her voice broke as she struggled for air. At that point, I was crying too.

"...You said that... I... could use the 'invisible, shielding soap', and lather it up on my skin and clothes... That the soap would wash me of that awful man. The shield would protect me from anyone else who tried to harm me in the future. You even helped me wash the 'invisible, shielding soap' in my hair... By the end of it, you'd taken my mind off of what had happened, we'd sworn ourselves to secrecy, and we had a water fight before we came back to the house. We'd trudged water across the new floors, and our moms got so mad." She smiled a sad, broken smile. Wistful and lost. "We were both whooped and sent to bed without dinner, do you remember?"

"...Yes," I said calmly, stiff. "It was the only time I'd been whipped with a ping pong paddle."

She sniffled a half-smile. "I went in your room that night. I'd had a nightmare about him sneaking in my window, and you let me sleep in your bed with you. You wrapped your bony arms around mine, and watched me until I fell asleep. You made a promise that night that... you'd always be there for me, that you'd always protect me, and you'd never let another man hurt me that way."

Licking the salt off my lips, I nodded, before swiping the tears from my eyes.

"You've kept that promise, Taehyung. Growing up, you've always kept that promise with me. I think I grew dependant on it. On my need for you to be my... guardian, or some shit. And you and I, we grew closer, every single day. I remember, at one point, when we'd turned twelve or something, our parents were growing suspicious of us and would limit our time together." She giggled. "They thought we were starting to fool around or something, because we held hands on the school bus and got caught." She let out a hard, quick laugh.

I laughed also. "I remember that too. You got me grounded for three days for that stunt, and my parents never sent me on another field trip with the school without one of them fucking chaperoning."

She nodded, her face growing back to serious. "Around that time, after they'd pointed it out that 'boys and girls don't hold hands at that age', I think that's when the real crush started. We were living across the street at that point, and... We'd play every day. You made new friends, but you'd always include me. The other boys didn't understand why I was a 'Taehyung Kim follower'. They teased you for it all the time, and you'd fight with them that day, then apologize and you'd be friends the next... Just as all friends were at that age. Anytime they'd tease you about me, you'd take it out on them, never me. You never sent me away to go play somewhere else."

"After your dad took the new job, your family up-rooted mine with yours again, and we moved. We were fifteen at the time. You and I were still close, despite our occasional bickering. That was when Luna came into the picture..."

I nodded again.

"At first, I was jealous of her, I'm not going to lie. I hated her for drawing your attention from me. I'm not really sure that I was fully aware of the crush I had on you at the time, but I was starting to understand that my feelings weren't platonic anymore. You came over, and we fought, and then you told me that she wasn't getting between us. I told you I was sorry, and I meant it. You promised that we'd still have days for just the two of us, and you kept that promise also..."

"At sixteen, I started to figure out I was beginning to love you. You and Luna fought again, for the thousand and second time, and you came over to my house in the middle of the night. Crawled in bed with me, lay over the covers, and cried on my shoulder. It was the first time I'd really seen you cry like that. I liked being there for you. I liked... being your guardian, in a sense, just as you were mine. The next day, I went to school, and argued with Luna. Told her off in the middle of the hall. Told her how stupid she was for hurting you. Of course, you two made up, and I apologized. But I remember making a pact with myself to always protect you too."

"You have to know, Taehyung," she stepped forward, leaving a few feet of space between us, "I was never, ever obsessed with you, in any type of sick way. It was just you and me against the world and we'd always been like that. I was never angry with Luna, never hated her. Never thought up any secret plots to steal you from her or any of that other catty shit the other girls did. She and I were close in high school, always. I understood fully that she was your girlfriend, and I was okay with that. It was only when you'd fight with her and come to me that I started to want something else... Then you'd get back with her, and my feelings evaporated. At the time, at that age, they weren't set in stone. I had boyfriends, and you hated them all... Got angry with me when I'd spend too much time with them and shut you out for a week or two. I lost my virginity at seventeen when I was drunk at a party, and when I cried and told you about it, you kicked Frankie's ass black and blue..."

"At times... I wondered if you felt more for me than you let on. You'd do things, little things, that got me wondering. Boyfriend things. You sent me flowers on my birthday, little good luck cards taped to my gym locker before tennis matches. Taught me how to drive, took me on movie dates, built a rope swing for me over the lake. You beat any man's ass that hurt me. You took me with you on family vacations, even that one year when your parents tried to separate us for once, you weren't having it... "

"I know some of that sounds brotherly, but the a lot of those things you did weren't. Like... you'd brush the hair out of my eyes, hug me constantly, kiss my head, my cheeks, my face, my eyelids, whisper sweet nothings in my ear... Feed me with your fork when we'd try different foods. Hold my hand during the occasional rock concert we snuck off to... Crawl in my bed with me whenever you two split, or even while you were together - though those times, you never slept under the covers with me. Hold me a tad bit too long. We watched our first porn together, made fun of it, trying not to show we were turned on... You get the picture. It was always more. Even our parents would always say, 'You two are going to get married,' and 'This is how it starts...' It all kept adding up."

"After your split Senior year, you wanted to move out of your family's house quickly. You wanted to rebel, and you wanted to do it fast. Right after graduation, we booked it out of our old hometown. You bounced around between two girls, and began your downward spiral of drinking, sex, and drugs. And it was me that pulled out the fishing rod and would reel you back in... Over and over again. I never wanted to see you hurt, fucking ever... but I liked being that person you depended on, because that justified that it wasn't only me being dependent on you. Each time you'd get healthy again, it was you and me against the world once more. I dated a few men, all who were complete and utter assholes to me. Because, as daddy said, I was cursed and would get fucked hard and fucked over, and that's what I did... But I almost sought it out. I didn't know any better. I searched for the dangerous men, the ones in leather, or with piercings, or tattoos, or a six pack of stale beer in their fucking lap. Searched for it because I wanted to prove to myself that I could be good for them, though I never was. They were always the same, and you... You always pulled me back to you."

"You always found me, and during my drastic breakdown, you pulled me out of that fucking oblivion of self-hate. I actually cut the right way for a change, instead of sideways, and was bleeding severely. After we'd gone to the hospital and fabricated the whole fucking story of a long busted vase in the soapy water of the kitchen sink, you made me promise you that I'd tell you before I got that bad again. We were both okay for a month or two, even when I'd verbally tell you how much I despised your fuck of the month girl. You never yelled at me for that, until Aimee came into the picture. She was the only one you yelled at me about, but that was only once, with the popcorn incident. The rest of the time, like I said, you never cared how I treated your girls... Let me scream and shout at them. You always came back to me in the end. Always hold me, let me sit on your lap, cook me dinners, have game nights... Went to concerts, bowling, drive-ins, everything. Every time we met new people, they'd see how we'd interact, and they'd ask you if you were my boyfriend. You'd deny it half the time, but other times... You just smiled and played along. I'm sure it was to make me feel better for being alone all the time, but really... looking back, it led me on."

"Just like when you'd hug me, or brush your hands down my sides, or across my collar bone... Comments about my sexy bras that no man should see, that I shouldn't be allowed to walk out of the house wearing. But... it seemed okay for you to see them... Simple gestures that you thought were comforting began to turn me on... A brush of the small of my back, lifting my hair off my neck, whispers in my ear. I knew I had to tell you. Jungkook had figured it out. I knew others were starting too as well. I made a deal with myself, that I'd tell you how I felt when we got the cabin. I was going to tell Yeri off, like I always did, and make you finally open your eyes and see me for who I really was... someone that wanted to love you more than she was allowed by any other man. I knew you'd be the one, the only one. So... I did."

I nodded again, my feelings visible to her now. This was a lot of revelations.

"...Once you rejected me, and told me you loved me but loved Luna first... I didn't know if I could believe you. I told you to go, because I wanted to sacrifice and make you happy, but... after you left... All I kept thinking was, there's no possible way he loved her first. Look at the eleven years before that, ages four through fifteen, where it was just you and me... Look at all you did for me... How you acted around me. Even after the age of fifteen... I just... I convinced myself that you just didn't see it, you didn't understand, but you would. But..."

She exhaled, her cheeks puffing, "I tried to accept it. I knew that Luna was more than a shadow on a wall to you, despite your gazillion and one lies beforehand, telling me she was nothing but a bitch that you didn't want anything to do with because she didn't want anything to do with you. I knew you were angry when you said those things... but the more times you said it, the more I started to believe it. Maybe she was just past, just an ex. Maybe you two wouldn't work out in the cabin. I mean, after all, she had Yoongi..."

Jennie cleared her throat, rubbing it with her hand. "But I did try to accept it, Taehyung. I didn't at first, and you knew it, because I didn't want her to hurt you... but after you made me promise to, I did, and I meant it. But then, you two had sex and fought again, and she hurt you. All through our time at the cabin, it was back and forth, back and forth, me then her, me then her... Yeri, Jungkook, Jimin, Yoona, hell, even Luna saw our connection. Luna herself told me to go for you at one point, that she knew you loved me more than you let on yourself. But again, I didn't, and I lied to myself, and I told myself to just let you be happy with her. And I did... I grew close to Yoongi. I liked Yoongi. I won him over despite my father's projections for me. I told myself that he was the first man that wasn't tattooed and pierced all to hell, and didn't walk around with a fucking buzz the entire time. He was polite, charming, handsome. He respected me and my insecurities. Showed me what it felt like to be a 'princess'... But I'd been brainwashed by all the other men for far too long. I wasn't a princess, and I didn't deserve a man as kind as him, because if he didn't hurt me, I'd eventually hurt him. I kept trying to tell myself that it was all in my head, that I could be loved the way that other people loved each other... But my father's voice never left my head. The voice of all the other men didn't either."

"I really thought I was okay with you and Luna. I grew to love her again, the same high school her, all over again. Grew to admire your relationship, and smile when I'd see you two smile... I'd encourage you, be there for you. It wasn't until you two snuck off and left at the cabin that it started to hit me. I kept trying to push away my thoughts, but it was the first time in YEARS that I'd been separated from you. Then I came back and saw her here, in our house, the place that you and I have had all to ourselves all along, with all the intensity and physical attention... and now you were giving it all to her, and barely acknowledging me or anyone else... I kept telling myself, let it go, he's with her, she makes him happy, you like her yourself, don't do this. So then I'd brush it under the rug, take a deep breath... I could convince myself of better. And for a time, I'd be happy, all over again. I'd be the confident Alice that had her own clothing label and company that no one really knew about besides you and Jungkook. I'd be bouncy and happy, and I really was. It was not just an act... "

"Then something would trigger me. I'd see you stroke her stomach, or see Yoongi look at me with so much need in his damn eyes... and I'd realize in my head, that I was not the happy, Sunshine Jennie. Now I was back to weak, ugly, worthless, fat-whore Jennie, that designed her own clothes because, even though she only weighed a hundred and two pounds, she thought clothes didn't fit her right. That she was fat. That she was ugly. So she'd make them herself, vivid bright colors to make her stand out and get attention for herself. Yellows and pinks and oranges... Anything I could to force attention on me, because I had to have it... I had to feel wanted by someone."

She sighed, wiping her face again. "I saw your child growing in her belly, and I'd never, fucking ever resent her or that baby Taehyung, I swear to God... But selfishly, I didn't like seeing you growing apart from me, and that baby was the first real sign of it. All of my life, it's been you and me, and now... a blink of the eye, or three weeks in a cabin, and it all changed. My past, everything I knew and took comfort in, was being pulled from me, like gravity. It all was coming down, and I was being pushed up, away from it, away from you. Up, up, up, I couldn't stop it. I tried to be accepting, but I couldn't. That's when I broke down. She came in, laid with me, innocent and oblivious to my feelings for you... And I loved her again. Told myself it was okay to let her have you, because you weren't going to stop being my friends. After all, you were here, lying on the fucking ground with me."

"And then... you two got married. I was happy for you, happy for her. Happy to see 'true love', as everyone put it, in a real-life form. You still needed me, made it clear that night as I stayed in your hotel room instead of with the other girls, and I thought to myself, 'Okay... He can do this. He can have her and me, I'm not going anywhere, he doesn't want me to be forgotten or out of his life, I can co-exist'..."

She shook her head, stepping closer to me, the tears coming strong. "I was so happy for you, Taehyung. The vibes that night, the love and passion and miracles that were in the air... All the happy couples dancing around... I was happy to be in Yoongi's arms, happy to know that I could have someone else to fall back on... But... Then I saw you walk away and climb into that limo, and drive off down the lane with her, and that's when it really, really, really hit me, like a bolt of lightning... You and I, twenty-two years of us, changed in one damn second when that door closed and car disappeared. You chose to have someone else in your life, as first place. To have someone else be your best friend... Someone else to get angry at when men gawked at her. Someone else's shoulder to cry on besides mine... It wasn't even that it was Luna, it was just that it was someone else. But, you were happy. Again, I pushed it under the rug, and made myself happy too."

"But... I couldn't have Yoongi holding my hand. I'm not sure if I was angry at him for trying to give me something I didn't deserve, or angry at myself for wanting him to be you again. I just wanted my best friend back, and you weren't there. So I ended it with him. Told him that I was in love with you, and I didn't deserve to be. I told him that I knew it was wrong, but it was how I felt, and though he was a good man, I couldn't love him or anyone else until I knew who I was first. He, surprisingly, took it better than I thought. Jungkook took me in, thankfully. I told him everything, every single fucking thing that night. I even told him about our two make-out sessions in the cabin. Everything. He was the only person that made me feel like I didn't have to hide who I was, for the first damn time in fucking forever. That my feelings were normal, and if any other person was in my shoes, it'd make sense that they felt the same way about you as I did. No, he's not on Team Jennie instead of Team Luna, so don't go wanting to punch him, but... He saw outside of the box, Taehyung. It's never been just me that saw it, and he was the proof I needed of that."

"When you came home, I thought it was going to be okay. Jungkook was my support, and he told me I could stay at his place until I'd adjusted to accepting that I had to let a part of you go. But... then you never called. You never texted. You never did anything. In five damn weeks. We'd never gone one day without talking to each other, even if it was an annoying, 'Hello, I just wanted to see what the hell you're doing because I'm bored'... Nothing. The Honeymoon I understood, but this was five weeks after the Honeymoon, and... NOTHING. It was a cold, hard, smack in the face. This was it, the final straw of hope. I was okay being third behind Luna and your baby but... Now I was replaced. Not needed. Not important. When you told me, that night we fought before you took off. You didn't have time for me, you had more important shit to do... It was the final nail in the coffin. I was done. I couldn't lie. I... wasn't strong enough even to lie to myself anymore... I became as weak as that little girl, eight years old again, leaning against the broken shack."

She blew out a gust of wind, then slumped her shoulders.

She was done.

She'd said it all.

..At this point, I wasn't even sure how to think, let alone what to think.

So many things to process, so many things that I didn't know, and a lot more that I did know and had lied to my own damn self about... Like I was subconsciously aware of her need for me, and her attention. That I craved it, stronger than any of the other women I brought home.

Like I was an ass.

And this was the price that I paid... the price that I paid for willingly committing myself to Jennie at the age of eight years old, if not four. For relying on her, and knowing that she relied on me as well.

Two damn peas in a mother fucking pod.

Shaking, I ran my fingers through my hair. We never once took our eyes off of each other. I felt like mine were glued open.

She took another step, the gap between us growing smaller, "...Say something," she whimpered. "Please."

"What do you want me to say, Jennie?" I whispered.

"Tell me what you want to say, Taehyung. I just... bared my soul to you. I'm cut open and bleeding scars here, worse than any physical pain... Be honest with me."

"Honesty?"

"Yes. Honesty." she wiped her face. "Please, just honesty."

I stared at her face, zoning out.

I wasn't sure what I felt.

I wasn't sure what to say.

Half of me, the older part of me, wanted to just escape. That's what I was good at, in situations I couldn't handle. Just turn to the left and fucking run hard, straight to that damn window and over the balcony, down the thirty-two stories, landing flat on the road like a bloody, smashed pancake. Ending it all.

Another part of me wanted to rush to her, and hug her pain away, and fucking mend this shit however the hell I could. To rewind time, or maybe not even do that. Just fucking fix it.

I needed to. For the both of us.

I inhaled through my nose, and reached out my right hand to her.

She stared at it, blinking away tears, for a moment in silence.

Then she whispered, "I don't think I can, Taehyung."

I didn't move, blink, or drop my hand.

Minutes passed.

Her gaze bounced from my eyes, to my hand, to my eyes again. I could see hesitation and pain in her eyes, and knew why it was there. She was afraid to touch me, afraid of how she'd feel.

I still didn't budge. It wasn't about being stubborn or selfish. Nor was it about being the opposite of those things.

...I honestly wasn't sure what it was about. But I couldn't put my hand down.

Eventually she caved. She closed her eyes, and her tiny hand moved inside of my palm, trembling, frigid cold against my overheated skin.

I took a step toward her.

Her breath sputtered.

I took another step, slower, careful. Tentative.

I'm not sure if I couldn't feel my heart at all, or if it was beating so fast that I simply couldn't comprehend it anymore.

My other hand raised and met her right bicep, while my thumb brushed across the back of her left hand.

She looked like she'd been cemented to my carpet by her tennis shoes. A frozen statue. A tortured one.

Licking my lips, I took another step, almost closing the gap between us.

Her chin began to quiver as more tears came out of both her eyes and mine.

She gasped, a burning, loud, ache of unrelinquished defeat.

And then it all just fucking came down. The wind, the rain, the storm, the tornadoes, the sand, the earth... Everything felt like it weighed on my shoulders, and on hers, simultaneously.

I didn't know I was fucking broken until I saw my own face in her eyes, and saw hers for the very first time in many years.

This was who we'd become. Who we'd turned each other into.

I squeezed her hand tighter, dragging my feet across the carpet, until I was directly in front of her.

She whimpered, squeezing mine back.

My face was soaked, as was hers, but I couldn't figure out who's I wanted to wipe first... if I wanted to wipe any at all.

Maybe the tears should stay. They'd been a symbol between us for many years, on many occasions. I deserved the tears. I'd earned them, for taking and taking from her, then once again, for giving and giving back to her. She'd earned them too.

Inhaling slowly, I felt my chest crushing against the invisible weight, and winced at the pain.

She whimpered again, squeezing my hand tighter, reminding me that we were in this mess together, and more importantly, that she was there for me.

Here she fucking was, bearing her soul and bleeding herself dry for all the world to see for the very first time, and... she was comforting me?

Fuck. That.

I had to fix her. I just didn't know how.

Sniffling, I moved closer, our toes touching, the pain intensifying, spreading around us in a heavy circle. I still had no thoughts. Not one fucking thought in my goddamn mind.

It felt as if I was being pulled at both ends, stretched to the max, up and down, left and right. My head hurt. My eyes burned. My body ached. But nothing compared to the guilt that was now surrounding and infusing me, and shared between the two of us.

She sniffled, bringing her free hand up, and clutched a fistful of my blue shirt, twisting it. I wasn't sure if she was pushing me away, or pulling me closer to her.

I closed my eyes and breathed shallow, short, quick breaths.

Jennie made that defeated sound again. My eyes shut.

She started to shake, vibrating my hand, moving my shirt.

I leaned down toward her face, and hesitated.

She froze.

Moving closer, I watched as her eyelids slowly closed, as I pressed my lips to her forehead.

...And she just started crying. Out loud. Hard.

She wanted me to kiss her, and I knew it, and knowing that I didn't was like stabbing her in the heart. Getting her hopes up by leaning down to her, and then not following through.

Bending my knees, I released her hand and wrapped my arm around her tiny waist, pulling her into me. I didn't remove my mouth from her forehead, as the sides of her fists started hitting my chest angrily.

"I hate you," she said quietly, forcefully, her hot breath against my neck. "I fucking hate you, Taehyung."

I nodded, closing my eyes. I was exhausted, a carcass, a shell. Dead. "I hate me too."

"I hate you," she sneered again, hitting harder.

I hugged her tighter.

I knew what she was doing. She was lashing out at me for all I'd done to her. But she was also lashing out at Alan, her prick of a father. At Frankie. At Joseph. At all the men who had hurt her. And, all of us did.

She never saw me in that light, or that same shadow, as them, until right fucking now.

And I deserved it.

I did lead her on. I used her, several times, because I was alone and enjoyed having someone just as bitter as I was, sitting right beside me.

I felt enlightenment when I saved her, just as she did when she saved me. We never brought each other down on purpose, but when it happened, we knew how to fix it.

Fixing it, always.

It was a sick fucking world that we'd created around each other. And that world exploded.

She whimpered, punched, and growled forcefully at me, pushing me away then jerking me back to her. She buried her face into my shirt and screamed angry words of pain and abandonment. Loud, echoing, bellowed words, erupting from her tiny lungs. Her swings got harder, but I didn't let her go.

She didn't want me to.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" she screamed. "I hate you! Why would you do this?!"

"I'm so sorry," I whispered in her left ear as she screamed.

"I HATE YOU!"

"I know," I said, ignoring the pain. "I'm so... s-sorry, Honey"

"I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! Why?! Why did this happen to me?!"

I felt her knees go weak, but I held her up against me, and closed my eyes, resting my chin on her head.

She just kept screaming, "WHY, WHY, WHY?!"

"I don't-"

"WHY?!" she cried, cutting me off, her knees swaying. "Why the fuck would you do this to me?! Would he do this?! I was a baby, I didn't know! I WAS A BABY!"

My chest threatened to cave and I struggled to hold her, the tears falling from my chin, onto her hair.

"WHY?!"

I shook my head, struggling to hold her up. Instinct told me to pick her up, to cradle her like a child, but she was too angry.

I had to let her get it out.

I steadied myself, and let her fucking wail on me, until she started to lose her voice and her strength.

It took a long time. I lost track of it.

"WHY?!" she screamed hoarsely, slumping down.

Unable to hold her, I bent my knees and lowered us both to the carpet, never releasing her.

"Why couldn't he love me, Taehyung?!" she whimpered, hitting my legs, pushing her face angrily into my chest. "Why couldn't anyone, why couldn't YOU?!"

I gasped at the pain, shaking my head.

"What did I do to... be... so..." she shook her head, angry. She was losing her breath. "What did I ... What did I do to be so undeserving of love?"

Leaning forward, I grabbed her face in my hands, and forced her to look at me, "Jennie, you are loved."

She shook her head, punching me in the chest. Hard.

I kept her face framed, and she grasped my wrists, gritting her teeth in anger.

"Jennie," I said calmly, ignoring the pain. "You are loved. I fucking love you so god- damn much, that I don't even comprehend it. I don't even know how it's possible, how badly I need you in my life. How intensely I desire to be a part of yours. I made a pact to protect you, yes, but I never protected you just because I promised. I did it.."

I shut my eyes as she hit me again.

Shaking, I took a deep breath, refocusing on her pained, heartbroken face. "I did it because I wanted to. You're my Jennie..."

"You don't need me," she whimpered, growing numb. "You don't need me anymore. You have Luna."

"Yes. I do need you, Jennie. I do. I have Luna, and she is my wife, my world. I'm not going to lie to you. But my world cannot exist without my friends, I cannot exist without having you in it somewhere..."

I wiped the back of my face, letting the tears come out willingly, as I let go of her.

I was absolutely fucking crushed.

She was crying. I was crying. We were both weighed down and torn to shreds.

We wiped our faces, but couldn't stop the emotions.

We were drowning in them.

"You're," I said, shaking my head. "You're my f-friend, Jennie. You and Luna, you're my best friends. It's two different people, two different reasons and ... She's my wife. Regardless of this baby, and of the past, she's my one. You have to know that. You always have known it. She just is. I know it's not fair of me to want you to be here, knowing that you're aching because you feel stronger for me than I do for you-"

She whimpered, caving into herself.

"But... I'm not... I can't... You're what I have, Jennie. Luna, you, and Jungkook. The three of you are my family, the family I choose. Please don't... Please don't leave me. We can fix this, do therapy together or something. We can sort through this, make it better. We can. We'll make it."

She sniffled, wiping her face. "I can't."

"We'll make it, Jennie," I said again, shaking her slightly. "I promise you, we'll-"

"I can't, Taehyung," she said, exhaling. She was exhausted.

She looked unfixable.

That realization added another hammer to my already shattered soul.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, jerking her hands from my shirt.

She pushed herself with her legs onto her butt, and then forced herself to move away with her feet, until she was all the way up against my door.

I sat there on my knees, arms out to her, blinking slowly and barely breathing.

"It's over," she said, exhaling.

"No..." I shook my head slightly.

"It is."

"No Jennie... It can't be over between our friendship. It can't be completely over."

She inhaled, and stood up slowly, pulling herself with the help of the doorknob.

"It's us," I said, desperate to find a balance. "It's us here... Best friends, no matter what... It cannot be just... done."

"I can't hurt you anymore," she said, whimpering. "And... I can't let you hurt me, either."

"I won't," I promised. "I won't, and I won't let you hurt me."

She shook her head, "No."

"Jennie..." I whispered.

Her hand lifted, her palm facing me, "Stop... Taehyung."

Her voice was low, almost gone, and cracked.

Inhaling slowly, her eyes found mine, and she locked our gaze. Then she said, in that numb and hauntingly stern voice, "As of today... You're un-recyclable to me."

Then, with one last eerie sound of defeat, she left me on my knees in my bedroom.

...She walked out of my new life, and handed over the old shell of me.

Shattered.

-

A/N

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