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"𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 is the worst thing that could have happened to us."

Johnny stood in of the Eagle Fangs, brandishing a piece of paper. The All Valley Committee sent out letters, indicating what was going to be at the tournament and what was required of each team.

"Skills competition, bullshit. Kata isn't karate, it's dancing. And what's the crap about a girls' division? Thought they were all about women's lib. They ought to man up and take a punch like the rest of us." Johnny added

"We could use a few female students." August said

"Fine. Do you know any girls?" Johnny asked, as all the boys awkwardly stared at him. "Of course you don't."

Bert raised his hand, then spoke. "There's this girl from the debate team."

Johnny scoffed. "Debate team? We need killers, not more nerds. All right, go run some laps. Maybe it'll jog your memories. Try not to breathe too much. There's black mold in the corner."

As the boys took off running, August stayed behind. "Look, I—I know it got pretty heated over at Migygi-Do, but with some of these new changes, I really think having Sam on our team would definitely help us." August tried reasoning, but Johnny wasn't buying any of it. "Maybe if you could talk to Mr. LaRu—"

"I have nothing to say to him. We're better off without him. It's time for us to take care of our own business. We'll find a girl champ, don't worry. All right, now get running." Johnny said

"Okay." August muttered before bowing at him, and took off running to join the others.

That afternoon, August took Johnny to the high school, where the girl's sports teams were practicing. "Okay, this is where most of the girls practice." August stated as he and Johnny walked onto the field. "You sure you'll be able to convince them?"

"Please, when I went to school here, the only thing I was better at than karate, and I was really good at karate, was talking to chicks." Johnny said. "Watch and learn Walker. Watch and learn."

The teen watched as Johnny jogged around the track, talking to runners. The two girls looked at him in horror before taking off. He then tried with some soccer players and field hockey players but it was a no go.

"Having some good luck?" August sarcastically asked as Johnny came back over to him.

"No, but I think I have a pretty good idea." Johnny stated. "Take your off your shirt."

August's eyes widened. "What?" he questioned

"Come on, show off those muscles you got. The chicks will dig it." Johnny insisted

"Fine. Just this once." August said

August took off his white jacket, and blue shirt to reveal his gray tank top underneath. "And the best part is we have a whole stable of hot young dudes, like my man August over here." Johnny said as he gestured his hand out towards the teen, and a girl looked over at him, in which he immediately raised up both his arms, showing off his muscles.

"You like what you see? He's not even in the top five. We got babes and everything, whatever floats your boat." Johnny said

"I'm asexual." The girl answered.

Johnny nodded his head. "All right, he's a sexual too. Check him out, total stud."

The girl turned her attention back to August, who still had his arms up, then he kissed his bicep, trying to impress her. "So what do you say? You ready to become an Eagle?" Johnny asked

──────

"I don't get it. I thought girls today were supposed to be tough. Why can't we find anyone for our team?" Johnny said

"Maybe not everyone needs karate in their lives, especially girls who are already on a sports team." August stated

"Hey August!" A voice spoke, making both August and Johnny turn around.

"Hey Moon, what's up?" August said as he greeted the brunette.

"Apparently some perv was creeping on the track team so we're gonna practice inside. What are you guys doing here?" Moon asked curiously

"Recruiting for our new dojo." August replied

"Eagle Fang Karate." Johnny added

"You know, you should join." August suggested

"Really? Okay, yeah, that sounds like fun." Moon said. "Wait, do...do I have to hit anyone?" she asked hesitantly

"Hell yeah you do." Johnny replied.

"Oh, no, then I-I'm out. I...I can't do the whole physical aggression thing. But you know you guys should ask my ex." Moon suggested.

"Hawk?" August asked with a quizzical look

"No, my.... my other ex, Piper." Moon said. "She's the best athlete in school, and she's not afraid to get into a fight."

"Sounds like the badass babe we've been looking for." Johnny stated

"Yeah, you might want to take different approach with her. Want some pointers?"

August nodded his head. "Definitely."

   ──────

August and Johnny watched as Piper ran forward before doing a cartwheel that turned into three backflips. "She's fast and she's strong." August stated

"Girl's a natural Eagle." Johnny added

"Oh, which one's your's?" A man asked, gesturing to the girls.

"Well, that one looks good to me. Haven't talked to her yet though. I'm still working on my approach. Got any advice?" Johnny asked

The man looked at Johnny horrified before walking away, making August wince. "Okay, remember what Moon told us?" August asked

"Yes, I will be awake." Johnny said, as he nodded his head, and hurried onto the mat.

"No, she meant be woke." August reminded him, as he quickly followed right behind him. "Hey Piper."

"Oh hey, August. What's up?" Piper said

"I wanted to introduce you to someone. This is—" August started

"Sensei John Lawrence of Eagle Fang Karate. Let me tell you why my dojo is perfect for a modern young woman like yourself. We live in a world where you gotta be an alpha to survive. You're either a killer or you're dead meat. But you gotta be a man. At Eagle Fang we confront that phrase and make it empowering for all. We teach anyone who identifies as female to embrace their queenly strength and tear down the neo-masculine hierarchy to confront internalized sexism." Johnny said

"Sounds inclusive." Piper said. "What about non-binary and gender fluid?"

"Yes fluids are crucial. If you don't hydrate, it affects performance." Johnny said

"He's really funny." August stated, as Piper started to laugh

"Well, actually, I have been meaning to join a dojo. I don't wanna be the last person who doesn't know karate." Piper said

"Then today is your lucky day." Johnny said, before handing her a piece of paper.

"Hey, Piper. Come check this out." A girl called out, getting her attention.

"Okay, cool. I'll be there." Piper said, and turned around to go back to her friends.

"Dude, I can't believe it. How were you able to pull that off." August said. "You sure you really know what any of those terms meant?"

"Does it look like I pee sitting down?" Johnny questioned, with a raise eyebrow, as he walked away.

──────

That afternoon, the Eagle Fang students gathered around at the abandoned warehouse, where they were waiting for Piper to show up.

"All right, so she's a little late, no big deal. Just a few minutes." Johnny said

"Uh, twenty minutes actually." Mitch said

"Okay, look, I-I'll try dming her to see where she is." August suggested, pulling out his phone from his back pocket. He went on Instagram and clicked on her profile, suddenly his face dropped in disbelief. "Oh, come the hell on."

"What?" Johnny questioned. The teen held up his phone for everyone to see, then pressed on her story. Piper and her friends were holding up Cobra Kai merchandise, while smiling in amazement.

"She joined Cobra Kai?" Johnny exclaimed

"It looks like they made themselves designer gear for all the new students. And they got a bunch of new recruits." August said

"Yeah, great. So, that was a big waste of time. I even learned feminism." Johnny scoffed in annoyance.

"We can't just give up. If want to win first place, then we have to compete in the girl's division." August said

"With who, Walker? We don't have Cobra Kai's money, and have no chance at finding a champion." Johnny stated.

"Look, I wasn't a champion when you met me. You made me into one, saw something in me that no one else did. Maybe you just have to see that in someone different. We must think outside the box."

Johnny sighed in defeat. "Everybody start thinking outside the box. Whatever that means."

──────

The next day at West Valley High, Bert had told August about a girl on the debate team, because he believed that she would a good fighter.

"Capital punishment is a legal pentode the US state of California. As of March 2019, further executions are halted by an official moratorium ordered by government officials." The brunette girl explained.

Johnny had suddenly snuck inside the building, without getting caught as he took a seat next to two of his students. "Sensei, what are you doing here? I thought you said debate was for nerds only." August said

"It is. Which is why we're ditching it. You're right. I'm not giving up on the girl's competition. I'm thinking outside the box. Look." Johnny stated, and opened a black duffel bag.

"Okay." August looked inside, and pulled out a blonde wig. "Dude, what the..."

"You ever see the movie Ladybugs?" Johnny asked, but no one answered him. "I had to sit through it one night with with a babe. It's a long story. Anyway, this coach, the guy gets no respect, he's got this all-girl soccer team that totally sucks. So, he gets his stepson to dress like a chick and they start winning."

August looked at Johnny, completely confused. "So you want me to dress up like a girl? Forget it."

"What? No. I need you to win the boys competition. I'm thinking of Penis Breath. He's not the best fighter, but I think he stands a decent shot against the chicks. What do you think?" Johnny said

"This is the stupidest idea you have ever come up with." August said as he gave Johnny the duffel bag

"My opponent is full of crap. His evidence is garbage, his arguments don't make sense, and I was bored to death." Devon stated, staring over at the boy across from her. "Which is ironic, considering we're debating the death penalty."

"Uh, you're not gonna deduct points for lack of decorum?" The boy asked.

Devon scoffed then spoke. "Screw decorum. Wanna know what I really think of the death penalty?" the brunette said as she marched over to the podium, and grabbed his book, before ripping it in half.

"My book!" the boy said

"Choke on it. I cede my time." Devon said

"Sensei, that's the girl I told you about. She loves extracurriculars." Bert stated.

"Can it, Bert." Johnny said and glanced back up at the stage. "I just found the most badass girl in the Valley."