↻ AUTHOR ࿐྄ྀ  CuteKitten19
↻ REVIEWER ࿐྄ྀ  burrito_in_bed

First Light :: 10/20

» Title :: 3/5

The title is quite relevant and/or appropriate to the story. But if we talk about the uniqueness, it is not unique. There are various books with similar titles. It was not very interesting because of how common the title is. It doesn’t give the reader the feeling of intrigue, which is necessary to attract them.

[Reviewer's suggestion :: The title is neither very unique, nor intriguing. The title is the first thing people pay attention to when they come across a book, so it is necessary for it to catch attention. I suggest that you change the title into something more unique and interesting to make it engaging.]

» Cover :: 3/10

The picture used is appropriate, but the plot is a dark one with a lot of angst. So the bright shades of the cover don’t match the plot that well. The cover looks fine overall. The font used for the title is appropriate, however, its colour doesn’t match. The cover doesn’t give an idea about the plot. It states only the title and the author’s name.

[Reviewer's suggestion :: The colour theme could be changed into something more dark and suitable to the plot. The bright cover misleads the viewer about the storyline. The colour of the font white, so is the background. This makes it hard to be able to read the title and author’s name. Changing the colour of the background or the font will make the cover look better. There is no information about the storyline provided by the cover. You could add a subtitle to the cover which gives a slight introduction/ idea to/about the book. This will attract more readers.]

Blurb :: 3/5

The blurb is interesting and engaging. The information wasn’t over shared, which is a good thing. It was short and sweet, kudos!However, the blurb had various grammatical errors, which I’d like to point out.

The mistakes I found were :

» “It’s beautiful white feathers were covered in its blood”
‘It’s’ is a shortened form of ‘it is’ or ‘it has’. In this sentence, possession is  being shown, for which ‘its’ should be used.

»Omission of articles: ‘a’, ‘an’ and ‘the’ weren't used properly. For example- “Fate brings two souls together through a series of letters.”

The correct statement would be- “Fate brings two souls together through a series of letters.”

Incomplete sentences: “Mary Ann who finds the strange bird”
This statement is incomplete and doesn’t make sense. It is a dependent sentence which will not make sense without another sentence.

I hope I was clear!

Dawn :: 6/10

The start of the story is what gives people an impression on it. If this part of the book isn’t executed well, readers will lose their interest and give up on the story itself. Hence, it is necessary to make it intriguing and engaging.

The plot of your book starts out with a look into the protagonists’ personality. This gives readers a connection with the characters. However, the pacing was quite fast. In the first few chapters itself, a lot had occurred. The descriptions are good and engaging. However, nothing was explained in great detail. The quick pacing made the process of reading and understanding a bit confusing.

[Reviewer's suggestion :: A good book requires proper pacing. Pace is also very important in the first few chapters since this is what sets a basement for the storyline. Hurrying through and skipping details will make the book bland and boring. The fast pace may also make the plot predictable.

I suggest experimenting with your writing style. This will help you find what exactly your style is. Once you find your style, try polishing it. Continuously writing will help in shining your skills and style and will help you set a proper pace depending on the theme of the story.]

Plot and Idea :: 16/20

The plot was interesting and engaging. It has topics which are mostly left untouched. It deals with suicidal thoughts and getting over them slowly. The overall theme and idea of the plot is great.

It was in the execution where things didn’t work out right. The fast pacing led to predictability and made the plot less interesting. Various things were under- described which made the plot bland and boring along with making it seem unbalanced.

[Reviewer's suggestion :: The plot and trope aren’t very common, and it is quite hard to delve deep into topics sensitive like this one. It is unique and well done. The storyline advanced properly and the events occurring in the story did not seem forced.

The main problem here is that the flow and pace was disturbed. Flow of a story is very important to keep the reader engaged and the pace is too. Proper and even description is necessary to make the reader interested and intrigued in the plot.

I suggest that you read a few well-written oneshots. This will help you improve the flow and pacing of your own book. It will also help you find your writing style and polish it.]

Characters and Emotions :: 11/15

The characters, emotions and settings were greatly described. The generous use of imagery and proper usage of vocabulary contributed to this. The metaphors and comparisons made also made the book more interesting to read. The vocabulary range wasn’t very wide, but it was appropriately used.

The understandable and great descriptions made it easy to connect to the characters and look at things from their point of view. It was engaging, fun and refreshing to read. Kudos!

The only problem here was the uneven description. This made the writing unbalanced and bland. Some places were greatly described, the emotions poured through every word. However, in the other places, the words used were bland and the way the words were woven together was not anything unique. This leads to loss of interest of readers in the plot. Description of emotions and settings is the very heart of writing. Improper execution will lead to loss of interest.

[Reviewer's suggestion :: To improve the vocabulary, synonym hunts are the only solution. While writing, you can search for synonyms which make the writing more exquisite. Example: ‘alluring’ and ‘bewitching’ have more impact on readers than ‘beautiful’. Replacing beautiful with one of these will make the writing more engaging. Proofreading and editing is the solution to uneven description. On proofreading, you can identify the places with mediocre descriptions and rewrite those sentences to make the sentence more effective.]

Writing style :: 10/15

The writing style was engaging, and overall great. The wide imagery used keeps the reader hooked to the plot.

There are a few things here too, which can be polished. Fast pacing, uneven description and improper flow needs to be changed and improved. 

Fast pace is usually used for action and mystery books. In cases like this, fast paced books tend to give a feeling of rush and thrill to the readers. However, this story is nothing like the books I mentioned above. Fast pace makes this plot boring, bland and predictable.

Uneven description makes the book unbalanced. When a few things are greatly described, and the rest are bland, the reader feels like different parts of the book were written by different people.

Improper flow makes the writing less engaging. Readers lose their interest and give up on the book. Flow is closely related with even description, so if description is made even then the flow becomes great as well.

[Reviewer's suggestion :: Proofreading will help you polish your sentences and improve description. Reading more books will help you discover new styles and find one that captures your interest. It also helps you get a hang of proper pacing and flow, which will improve your writing.]

Grammar :: 12/20

There were some prominent mistakes I found here.

Incomplete sentences: I have already mentioned this in ‘First Light’. There are two types of sentences, dependent and independent. Dependent sentences need to be joined with another sentence to make sense, It is for this that we use conjunctions. Many of the sentences used in the book are incomplete; Just a dependent sentence with no supporting clause to complete it.

Tense inconsistency: I found this in various places, scattered here and there, but prominent all the same. Tense consistency is very important to keep the flow of a story proper. Inconsistencies can lead to disruption in flow and make the description rocky.

Tense consistency refers to the usage of the same tense over a stretch of writing. Tense inconsistency is when the tense changes in different sentences. I hope I was clear!

Punctuation errors and typos: These are accidental mistakes that were scattered here and there.

[Reviewer's suggestion :: I suggest proofreading and editing. This is the only plausible way to reduce mistakes like these, apart from research. Proofreading will not only help you polish your sentences, but will also help you identify and correct grammatical errors. Errors like tense inconsistencies are very common and can occur without the writer being aware of it. This is why proper and constant editing is necessary.]

TOTAL :: 65/100

Reviewer's note :: Your book is a great read, worth the time. It has a unique plot, and the way the plot was taken forward was impressive. The imagery is mesmerising and hooking. However, there are a few mistakes standing out like a sore thumb, most of which can be edited after proofreading.

I hope I haven’t offended, or hurt you in any way. I intend to give constructive criticism,  and none of my advice is meant to prick. I really hope this helps you improve and polish your skills, because the potential is definitely there!

You can contact me if there are any doubts, or if I haven’t covered anything properly. Thank you, and all the best! :)

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Yours Truly,
SeeSaw Fam.