~The Freedom to be No One~

September 1475, the Yorkist camp....

Tying the sash of her heavy bed robe with a firm yank, Constance sat down at her dressing table, a frown on her face as Katherine began to pull the pins and ribbons from her hair.

Earlier that day, the treaty between France and England had been signed - the war was ended, her daughter was no longer hers, she was promised to her Mother's homeland. George was furious, cursing everything and everyone under the sun, using words Constance wasn't sure even existed in his rage as he stormed around the King's tent, demanding Edward go through with the war, accusing her of taking away what was rightfully his.

He'd glared at her with such hatred that she was sure any trace of their happy kinship was now dead and buried.

The Kings had met in Picquigny, just eight miles from Amiens, on a specially built bridge where the two sides gathered but neither of the Queens were there.

The two women who had built the treaty, who had crafted it, hadn't been invited nor were they invited to the festivities after - not that they would've gone. The Kings of France in England went drinking and whoring in Amiens in celebration of their newfound friendship and Constance would've found it laughable if she wasn't so disgruntled.

"Are you well, your grace?" Katherine asked and her mistress' eyes flicked up to hers in the mirror before them.
"I would be" She murmured, pulling off her rings "If I didn't know my husband was away whoring in celebration of a treaty I made"

"I feel exactly the same, sister"
Constance's head whipped around, eyes widening as a group of women in dark cloaks strode into her tent, their leader throwing back her hood to reveal Queen Charlotte. She stood with a gasp, hands flying to hastily push her loose hair behind her shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" She breathed, looking to the entrance "My guards...."
"I told them we had arranged to meet while our husbands celebrated" Charlotte spoke calmly, hands folded in front of her, as if her appearance was nothing near a shock of the highest order "May I sit?"

All Constance could do was nod as she and her ladies stared, watching as Charlotte took a seat at the nearby table, waving for her own ladies to sit near the tent entrance "Come Constance....please"

She slowly approached, sitting down opposite the French Queen as she poured them each a goblet of wine; passing her one.
"I was not expecting you"
"Even if you were I doubt our husbands would've payed any mind to it. By now they shall be so far deep into their cups they won't be able to tell the Devil from God"

Instantly, Constance's annoyance came rushing back and she took a sharp sip of wine, sitting back in her chair.
"This is our treaty, our victory and yet its the men who celebrate....my husband...."
"I'm not sure whoring is my idea of celebration, sister"

Her eyes flicked to meet Charlotte's.
"You know what I mean"
"I do" She admitted and a small smirk curved the corners of her lips before she leant forward a little "but....I see no reason why we cannot make our own fun"

Constance arched an eyebrow, her curiosity pricked at the enticing words.
"What do you mean?"
Charlotte's smirk widened.
"Well....there is a masked ball at the Chateaux at Picquigny where my court is staying and....I should very much like for you to come"

"Me?" Constance exclaimed, the very notion of the idea ridiculous to her. While her husband was free to galavant where he pleased she certainly was not! France and England may have found peace but she couldn't very well fly off with the French Queen to a ball! Dark, rumours of treason would fly!

"At this masque we take false names!" Charlotte enthused "No one will know who you are the whole night. You are French, Constance, one of us, you shall fit right in!"
"But my guards....."

"I will sneak you out as one of my ladies" She replied matter-o-factly "and you must see the costumes I have!" She pushed back her cloak to reveal a beautiful Italian gown of red and white, adorned with rubies and sapphires "I have dressed in the colours of England and you shall don the colours of France! I guessed your measurements and didn't have time to make a new gown so it is one of mine but I'm sure you will look a Queen! Well maybe not that as we are meant to blend in but still. The masks are new!"

Though the idea was exciting, Constance shook her head, tracing a finger around the rim of her goblet.
"Charlotte...I can't! What would Edward say?"
"He shan't return for at least a day!" Charlotte countered.

"You should go, Connie, be free for a night"
Constance turned around at the sound of Beth's voice and she stared at her, dumbfounded. If anyone was to object to this plan it would likely be her!
"Your lady is right!" Charlotte agreed "Mine are loyal and so are yours! No one need ever know"

Constance frowned a little, true excitement beginning to bubble in her chest at the prospect before her, but she still wasn't sure.

"Do I even have time to go?"
Charlotte laughed at that.
"The night is young! It is but what, eight? We can dance until the dawn rises at six at the least! In you I have finally found someone who I know truly understands my existence, my life as I do yours! Let us enjoy ourselves together for one night as sisters should, free from duty, from our husbands"

A night of freedom....freedom from all that bound them. She had a great sense of duty that guided her through life and she treasured it greatly but....perhaps to be free of it for one night could be good? Fun even, she wondered. And as for freedom for Edward, why, she hadn't wanted anything more that past year, wishing to escape from her position, from her crown, to retreat where he couldn't find her, where he couldn't hurt her.

Even if it was only for an hour or two, she could have her wish that night and, with that in mind, she nodded to herself.

"How long do I have to ready myself?"
Charlotte grinned.

Constance felt like a young girl again as her ladies hurried around her, hushed giggles floating through the air mingling with the sense of childish mischief around them. While she had lead an army and rode through the night to save the house of York, to name a few things, this felt the most daring thing she'd ever done!

A wide smile graced her lips as she was readied in the beautiful gown Charlotte had brought for her, which luckily fit like a glove. It was made in an Italian style she instantly fell in love with, crafted from heavy deep blue velvet brocade. The sleeves were billowed at the top and slashed to reveal beautiful pleats of white silk, narrowing at her elbow with pearl buttons and narrow cloth of gold stripes down to her wrists.

The neckline was low, revealing the top of a white brocade kirtle, and adorned with sapphires and diamonds while the waistline lay just below her breasts, allowing her heavy skirts of velvet to billow out beautifully. They bore the same cloth of gold stripes as her sleeves and were adored with thin strips of white silk either side.

Her hair was caught in neither a caul or hennin but brushed till it shone to flow loosely past her hips in all its glory with only a few locks at the front brought to the back, pearls wound about them, so her mask would sit nicely. A collar made up of golden rectangles furnished with alternating oval sapphires surrounded by small pearls (which also hung between each link) and golden flowers studded with diamonds was clasped around her neck and rings adorned her fingers.

"You look beautiful" Charlotte said as her ladies stepped away, placing a dark cloak over her shoulders "Now, it is time that we flew this nest" Constance nodded, unable to take her eyes away from the figure in the mirror before her.
"I agree" She looked to her ladies "If anyone should ask for me they are to be told I am sleeping and not to be disturbed"

"It will be done" Margaret answered "and I shall pray for your safe journey"
"As shall we all" Lizzy agreed "I hope you have a wonderful time!" Constance grinned.
"I shall tell you all about it on my return!"

Constance's heart was beating like a rabbit's the entire time she travelled through the Yorkist encampment, nestled safely between Queen Charlotte's ladies. She kept the hood of her cloak drawn over her head, not daring to look up for fear she would be recognised.

When they came to the camp's entrance she could barely breathe, fearing they would not be let through but they were without a second glance. The guards looked rather drunk, she thought, as did the rest of the men around who'd taken to indulging that night as their King did.

They climbed into the carriage one by one until only Constance was left, staring up at the curtained windows and Charlotte popped her head around the door. Her face glowed in the light of the camp torches, highlighting the mischief in her grin, the excitement in her eyes.

"Come on" She whispered "be free with me"

༻᯽༺

On the journey to the masque Constance quickly became acquainted with Charlotte's four ladies maids: Joan, Adelaide, Elisabeth and Adela, each beautiful and of noble blood.

They accepted her as one of their own easily. They couldn't have been rude nor snubbed her as she was of a far higher rank but they did not have to speak to her as they did, as if she were a friend they had not seen for a long time.

It was strange, she was not used to being spoken to so familiarly apart from by her kin and closest friends but this night wasn't for normality, she supposed, it was for difference. So she chatted happily, listening attentively when they told her of court gossip and telling them tales from hers! She felt like a girl again and almost squealed with delight when Charlotte reached under her seat and brought forth two masks.

They were each beautifully beaded, with black silk ribbons to tie them, crafted to fit over the upper half of the face, resting at the tip of the nose to conceal most of one's identity. Like their gowns, Charlotte's was in the colours of England while Constance's was in the colours of France and she stared in awe at the dark blue background and the gold beads creating swirls and flowers across her mask.

She and the others put them on as they approached, giggling as they helped each other tie the ribbons securely at the back of their heads.
"How shall you style yourself, sister?" Charlotte asked as she tied Constance's and the English Queen smiled. The idea had blossomed in her head as soon as she'd begun being readied for the masque and she was more than ready to announce it!

"I shall be the Dame du Soleil!"
"The Lady of the Sun" Charlotte repeated with a grin "Now that is certainly fitting"
"And you? Who shall you be?"
She hummed in thought, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Constance's cheek when she turned to face her again.
"I shall be the Lady of the Moon"

When the carriage came to a halt, the six ladies almost tumbled out, arms linked and in fits of laughter.
"I haven't even had one drink yet!" Constance giggled, looking up at the grand chateaux with its whitewashed walls that glowed in the light of the torches bracketed either side of the gates.

The thick scent of cooked meat and spices hung heavily in the air and the faint sound of laughter and music flitted merrily around them. Instantly she found her heart jumping in excitement!

"Well you shall soon!" Adelaide laughed as they strolled by the guards and up the stone stairs into the chateaux where Constance was immediately dazzled.

There were people everywhere, jewels everywhere and gold, glistening on gowns and doublets, on masks and decorations, dazzling in torch and candlelight. Silver vines wound around pillars of marble and countless people leant against them, some eating, some drinking (clearly already in their cups), some even intertwined in passionate embraces, their lips melded together.

"We can do as we please here" Charlotte whispered as the women hurried up a winding grand staircase in the direction where music blared and, as they drew closer, the tinkling of bells sounded along with waves of laughter.

"The moresca!" Elisabeth exclaimed and began to run up the stairs, forcing the others to do the same with their arms still linked "Hurry!" She called over her shoulder "It shall begin soon!"
"Do you know it?" Charlotte asked, glancing at Constance who nodded eagerly.
"Yes! But I haven't danced it since before I was married! I'll wager I still remember the steps, it was one of my favourites!"

Their shoes tapped on the marble, coming to a halt as they burst into the great hall and fell into gasps of complete awe. The chamber was full of life, of happiness and splendour. Tables ran down either side, covered with cloth of silver and holding gold plates laden with the most delicious food a cook could conjure, bright tapestries hung along the walls with vines coated with silver leaf twisting around their railings!

All present were dressed magnificently, some in the styles of Italy (as she was) and some in the styles of France but all encrusted with jewels and gold and silver thread. The women's hair was not concealed by headdresses but left loose like hers with pearls and ribbons woven into their long tresses! The masks added to the spectacle, creating a mystical world where all were free to be as they were, to enjoy themselves! Some laughed, some chattered merrily away, some spun, shaking the bracelets with little silver bells they'd slid onto their wrists.

"Beautiful...." Constance breathed and found herself being pulled along the side of the hall to where pages, in black velvet masks, held baskets containing the moresca bracelets which she and her companions quickly snatched up, slipping them on "Look!" She giggled, holding up her wrists and shaking them and Charlotte laughed too, her eyes sparkling.

"Come, sister! Let us dance!"
Together, they hurried to the centre of the hall where many of the others gathered, the women forming a circle and the men forming another around them, also wearing bells. Constance's heart beat wildly in her chest, threatening to break from her chest and fly out singing with joy.

As the music started, she began to shake her wrists in the timed beat her dance master had taught her and the others did the same, creating a magical sound that resonated around the room. Soon, they began to move, hopping and twirling, the women turning and running to the centre of their circle where they threw up their hands as the men continued to dance around them, shaking their wrists.

They spun with elegance, their hands joining as they spread out once more and began to skip, their feet lifting and pointing one way and then the other, accompanied with a little hop that had their circle spinning.

Then, they turned to one another (as did the men) and curtsied, raising and putting their arms together, shaking their wrists before doing the same with the other arm. Joining hands with their partner, they spun before curtsying again and stepping to the side, then forwards, then in to greet their second partner.

Constance curtsied offering up her arm with a shake, as the other woman did, looking up and finding her heart almost skip a beat.

She knew the umber eyes as well as the black curls pulled back into intricate coils and braids. She held the hand of her sister, she realised with an excited pang, the hand of Joanna, now the Princess of Orange. And it seemed Joanna recognised her too, her eyes widening wotn surprise that almost causing her to miss a step in the dance. Far from the stern look Constance had been used to seeing on her elder sister, her gaze lit up and a bright smile curved her lips.

"Constance?" She laughed after a moment, squeezing her hand before they spun "I never thought I'd see you again!"
"Nor I you!" Constance exclaimed, hardly believing her eyes. They were about to move to their next partners but Joanna took her hand, grinning.

"Our sister will be surprised as I am, come!" She lead her from the dance floor, ducking beneath the arms of the men and Constance looked over her shoulder, trying to spot her companions. But she need not worry, she thought when she couldn't see them, she would be safe with her older sister.

She allowed Joanna to lead her through the crowds of French nobles, giving her a chance to admire her beautiful gown of deep green damask and white silk with golden embroidery along her slashed sleeves. Moving past the food tables, she slipped them onto the grand balcony that was relatively deserted apart from a few.

"Margaret!" She called to a woman in orange silk and a mask to match with loose golden hair, looking out over the land "Margaret look! It's Connie!" The woman turned, her mouth forming into a small O as Joanna dragged Constance excitedly before her who recognised her elder sister Margaret as quickly as she had Joanna!

"Connie!" Margaret exclaimed "What are you doing here?" Without giving her little sister a chance to answer, she pulled her into a hug, squeezing tight which made her smile. While Constance had few memories of either Joanna or Margaret, her heart still held a fondness for them and she felt at ease in their company even after decades of separation.

"I'm here with queen Charlotte!" She explained when she pulled away "She invited me for some fun!"
"And it has reunited you with us!" Margaret replied happily "This is a rare thing indeed!"
Joanna gave a little laugh.
"Should we be curtsying?" She asked with a mischievous grin "You are a Queen now!"
"Not this night! Tonight I am no one! Tonight I am free!"

"Has James accompanied you?" Margaret asked, looking around the balcony and into the hall for a moment "It is an age since any of our kin has seen him!"
"So Charles said when I saw him and no he isn't here, he's in England with my children. He flatly refused to help wage war against France and I don't blame him"

"Ah yes! Your children!" Joanna said before letting out a little laugh "It is strange to think of you as having children when in my mind you are still a child!"
"Indeed! I have had eleven pregnancies now but only five surviving children....they mean the world to me and I love them with all of my heart"

Constance saw a flash of regret in Joanna's eyes when she spoke of her lost babes and she took her hand, squeezing gently.

"I am sorry for your losses, they must have been more than difficult to bear and your heart must carry scars that wound my own to know of them" Constance almost laughed at that. Growing up Joanna showed little to no emotion, preferring to keep herself to attendants rather than interact with the younger ones with whom she'd always been stern, though not unkind. Time had changed her, she supposed, just as it changed everyone "I have not had children yet with my husband though he has his two bastards" She continued, a note of bitterness seeping into her voice Constance knew only too well "I hope to give him a son someday, to spite him if nothing else"

"I too am without children" Margaret said "but I find I do not mind it! I know it is my duty but I've never felt the desire to be torn in two while I scream but my husband loves me and if I become with child I shall bear it for him!"
"It's certainly not pleasant!" Constance laughed "but I would do it thrice over for my all my babes, even the ones I lost"

"My how you've grown" Joanna sighed, a proud, almost Motherly, note to her words "The last time I saw you you were fifteen, married, with child and being shipped off to a country torn by war and now..." She sighed again "Now you are a Queen of peace. I hope you know it brings me great joy to hear of your successes when I am at home with my husband and great grief to hear of your losses. I was so scared for you in 1471, Connie"

"I was scared too" Constance returned with a nod as Margaret took her free hand.
"And I. I know none of us were very close as children, though we were raised together and whatnot but I believe the bond of sisters can never be broken"

"You must come to my court one day! I would be more than glad to host you!"
"And we would glad to attend!" Joanna replied "You have made the English court the envy of Europe!"

"It seems you may have an admirer" Margaret murmured, peering over to the end of the balcony where Constance turned to see a man leaning against one of the stone pillars leading back into the hall, fiddling with the rings on his hands in a way that struck her with familiarity. So did his stance and the mass of black curls behind his mask.

She was sure, even at a distance, that his eyes were dark blue and glimmering with amusement, although perhaps it was simply the torchlight she wondered. He stared at her for a moment longer before disappearing behind the pillar; wandering back into the hall.

"If you didn't seem so captivated I would go after him myself!" Joanna teased and Margaret slapped her playfully on the arm.
"Sister! Really!"
"What? It's not as if I find my own husband satisfactory"

"I think I may know him...." Constance murmured, slowly pulling away from her sisters to follow the mysterious figure "I will find you later...."
Slipping around the same pillar as he, she stepped back into the hall, still alive with music and chatter and, standing on her tiptoes, she peered across the crowds for him.

It didn't take long to spot him among the crowds as he was dressed in dark blue when most of the other men donned bright greens and reds and she made her way through the guests, following him to the opposite side of the hall where he slipped through a small door. She did the same, entering a dimly lit hallway where very few lingered, most men and women too drunk to stand who sat slumped against the walls, satisfied smiles on their faces.

Looking towards the end of the long corridor she saw an archway opening onto a small curved balcony where the man had decided to rest, leaning against it and looking out into the night. She moved as quietly as she could towards him, gliding silently along the corridor until the stepped out onto the balcony and the warm night breeze brushed against her neck.

"Richard?"

Richard turned with a half-hearted smile, lifting his mask with a sigh.
"Hello, Con. I thought it was you I saw"
"What are you doing here?" She exclaimed, removing her own and resting it on the balcony's edge "I didn't think you would be with Edward but....I didn't think you'd be here!"

"Rob and Francis dragged me along" He explained "They wanted to raise my spirits and I confess, though I feel guilty about it, is has worked a little; allowed me to forget" She nodded.

"I am here to forget too....to be free...." She sighed, staring off into the night "I know our purpose in France was war but being here, away from everything, away from everyone....I haven't felt so happy in a year"
"I'm here"
She shook her head, smiling a little.
"You're not everyone....you never have been....you're Dickon"

"The feeling is mutual" He replied "you have always been there to see me through my troubles, though it is unmanly to say so. You are more than my Queen, you are my friend" She turned to face him, placing a hand on his arm.

"I will continue to be so and, in truth, I am glad to hear you say it...." She swallowed "I was worried you would be angry with me for finding peace in this war. I know you did not want it but I was worried you wouldn't find it honourable to be paid off with coin and a treaty. I thought you would be angry with me and that I couldn't bear"

An affectionate smile graced Richard's lips and he covered her hand with his, squeezing gently.
"I would be angry if it was Edward as he's the one that started this war. You didn't. And besides, I don't think I could ever be angry with you, Connie" Warmth blossomed in her chest and she laughed quietly.

"I am still angry with Edward" She told him, pulling her hand away and leaning back on the balcony "but I've decided not to think of him tonight and for once I feel at peace"

"I'm trying not to think of Annie" He confessed in return "and, though I know it's wrong, I sometimes feel angry with her for leaving me, for leaving our son" All traces of peace, of joy faded from his face, replaced with the blinding misery mingling with guilty rage she'd glimpsed after Anne's death "I know it was God's will not hers but I still feel anger sometimes....when Edward cries in the night and none of his nurses nor I can comfort him, when he stares at me and I swear I can see a piece of him missing in his eyes....."

He hung his head and a hot tear, dripped down onto the stone beneath him making Constance's heart ache.

"I will make sure he knows his Mother and you will too. Your anger is not unfounded, Dickon, grief is a curse that weaves itself in many ways, there is nary a right or wrong way to feel"
He glanced up at her and a small smile appeared again.

"Edward doesn't appreciate what he has in you, you know that don't you?"
Constance blinked, her heart flooding with affection and the welcome feeling of recognition she seldom felt anymore.

"Of course I do" She said after a moment, speaking her feelings easily. She could always confide in Richard, she could always trust him "why do you think him and I have hardly been speaking for a year? After all this time I've finally had enough of him and, while I admit I miss him deeply, I'm not sure my heart can take any more insult" She gritted her teeth "Jane Shore was the last thing I could take and since then my heart has been closed to him. My anger is now draining to sadness....I love him, I can't deny it but I fear what we were may be vanishing forever....perhaps it is already out of reach"

"It will never be out of reach until your soul or his passes into God's hands...." Richard replied with a shake of his head "he does love you, Constance, but he is a Plantagenet and a man and therefore can be a stubborn old fuck sometimes. I'm sorry to say this but it may have to be you that relents"

"Never" She hissed, looking into the darkness again. He'd told her he loved her when she was giving birth to Aliénor but for the first time, when she thought on it, she wasn't sure those words were true"He will have to first, even if only a little" Closing her eyes for a moment, she shook her head, forcing her anger and pain do fade away before she turned to Richard again "But let's not talk of him, he is not my husband tonight and I am not his wife. Tonight I am the Lady of the Sun, who are you?"

"I first opted for the Lord of Despair but Francis and Rob forbade that so I am the Lord of Stars"
That made her smile and she gave a light laugh, what coincidence they should choose aliases that were so similar!

"The Lord of Stars...." She mused "The sun is a star. They are the same and yet different, just as we are"
"Indeed but my light could never shine over England as brightly as yours, mine shines far away in the North or it did....perhaps it's light has been smothered"
"I don't believe that is true!" She countered, taking his hand "You will shine again, Dickon, you will light your beloved North. Now let us be the Lady of the Sun and the Lord of Stars. Tell me, may birds of a feather dance together?"

He smiled and raised her hand, bending to press a soft kiss to her knuckles.
"I believe they can, my Lady. Most happily"