Ever since yesterdays incident i couldn't sleep well , i just wanted to dig my grave and disappear . i felt so humiliated but i shouldn't be weak and surrender to them , i haven't seen selim ever since i fell sick and i felt the urge to see him . that's why i finished lunch and went to see him .

As i got closer to his room i met the last person i wanted to see at that moment none other than esmehan .

« I was having a good day » she mocked as she walked past me but i stopped her by taking few steps back .

« Esmehan , you're acting like a child right now . what is your problem? » i frankly asked because i had no idea what her problem was with me .

« Nothing with you specifically , i just hate it when intruders become part of our family » she quickly answered me as she glanced at the girls behind her dismissing them .

« What family are you talking about » i laughed mid sentence before continuing « you've spent your whole life away and now you're acting like you care ? » her gaze narrowed as she stepped close to me .

«  I don't want you close to any of my family , nor you nor your stupid sister and as for your father i'll get rid of him too » she threatened with a smirk on her face before i laughed .

« If that's the case t, the first person you should complain about is your mother since she was the one who wanted me » she immediately fell silent before she found an answer .

« So you're saying that they forced you to marry my cousin ? » i mean technically yes but a part of me also wanted it .

« I didn't say that stop twisting my words , i love selim and never try to get between us okay? or i'll be the one who'll send you back from where you came from » i talked back to her and brushed my shoulder against her before leading my way again .

this time i felt relieved , she heard what she needed to hear for a long time .

the aghas who were guarding the door immediately opened the door for me and my eyes fell on selim who was sitting with sah sultan , she rolled her eyes as i entered .

« Your majesty , your highness » i bowed down to both of them individually .

« Come in » selim extended his hand to me and gave me a seat next to him as sah sultan was seated infront of us .

« Sah sultan you were saying » he talked again after i made myself comfortable .

it seemed like she just started talking when i came in , explains why i saw esmehan in the hallways .

« I prefer talking to you privately » she had the audacity to say this infront of me , she eyed me strangely .

« I have nothing to hide from my wife because i will tell her later anyways » selim answered her very fast as his gaze turned to me and i smiled before taking his hand in mine .

« If you say so » she awkwardly laughed « Esmehan is not feeling very well here » selim raised an eyebrow before crossing his legs together .

« What is the matter ? is it something i don't know about ? » he genuinely asked and sah sultan sighed before talking again .

« Hiranur has been bothering her » she said that looking straight to my face

Selim's gaze immediately landed on me and i took a deep sigh .

« Why would hiranur bother her ? » he asked as his eyes were still looking at me before they slowly shifted to her .

« She keeps bringing up things about her past constantly » before she could continue selim laughed and looked at me .

« Fierce aren't you » he whispered to me with a laugh before looking at her .

« Selim ? instead of educating her about respecting the dynasty you're out there cheering for her? » sah sultan started raising her voice but calmed down near the end of her sentence .

« As far as i know hiranur is part of the dynasty too » he answered her immediately leaving her with a shocked expression .

« And i never disrespected her , she always did first » i calmly replied to her accusation which made her even more furious .

« Now if you may allow me and my wife spending time with each other » his hands signaled the door which meant he wanted her to leave .

« I was not done yet but you will eventually see » she stood up from her seat slightly bowed down to selim and left without looking back .

« How did you know i didn't do it » i asked immediately after she left and he gave me a side look .

« I just know , i've known esmehan long enough to know who to believe » his hand moved to my cheek « and i know you wouldn't do it » .

him defending me meant the world , my admiration for him got even bigger after this . since i was also blamed being defended by someone is very special to me

« As for her , if she bothers you just talk back to her . i give you the green light but never do it infront of everyone ,because it can do you harm later » i nodded after his words and took his hand in mine .

« I don't want to talk about her , tell me something » i moved a bit to fix my posture while he gave me an interrogative look .

« Something? » he was confused by my question .

« Tell me about your childhood , your mother for example , how did you grow up . i want to know you better » my question caught him off guard but he still smiled to me before he fixed his posture again .

« If you're that curious then let's get started » he accompanied it with a little smile at the end before he started talking

« My childhood was not very special , i grew up with five siblings excluding my older brother mustafa » i got interested very fast in what he had to say .

« I was the weakest out of my siblings , i was very sensitive and not gonna lie i was jealous of the others because they mastered swords fight while i was just watching them from afar » his voice took a different tone in each sentence he spoke .

« I loved my mother so much and you would know that she fought hard in this palace , she did everything for us and i miss her everyday . i lost my siblings but i would rather not speak about that . After her death and my father's i felt alone and completely off track if it was not for my sister mihrimah who sticked with me »

My eyes were not blinking as he spoke , i was too invested in his story .

« It's been a year since i ascended the throne but believe me it took me months to realise that , i was the ruler . the people hated me for being a bad governor and due to my alcohol addiction but in fact i was just coping with the trauma » he finally stopped speaking , his expression was extremely heartbreaking .

« You're so strong selim i aspire to be like you really » i squeezed his hand making his eyes shift to me .

« You don't really want being like me , this is why i like you , you're still innocent and pure for this dynasty . i want to protect you because they're too dangerous for you , all of them » his hand moved to my neck and i felt a very weird sensation . for the first time i had butterflies in my stomach .

« Selim - I don't know what to say to you but trust me you're more than enough for me don't feel the need to hide your emotions from me okay ? from now on we'll share everything » his hand squeezed the side of my cheek before he connected our lips together .

for the first time i felt close to him , i realised that with time i would be head over heels for him .