⁂ little by little
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
The familiar hum of the school hallways greeted Juliette as she walked through the doors for the first time since her hospital stay. The voices, the laughter, the ringing of lockers—it all felt surreal, like she was walking through a memory. She was aware of eyes on her, curious glances from classmates who had heard about her absence. But instead of feeling isolated, there was a sense of relief: she was finally back.
She made her way to her locker, feeling a little nervous but mostly glad to be here. The past few weeks had been strange, exhausting, and a bit lonely. But here she was, back in the everyday rhythm of things, and for a few precious seconds, it felt like the world hadn't changed at all.Juliette was just putting her bag away when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Matthieu, his face soft and a little uncertain."Hey, Juliette," he said, his voice gentle. "It's good to see you.""Hi, Matthieu," she replied, trying to keep her tone steady, as if she hadn't spent the last few weeks replaying that last night at Louis's party in her head."How are you?" he asked, his brow furrowing. "Are you feeling okay?"She managed a smile. "Yeah, better, thanks. It was... a lot, but I'm okay now."He looked relieved, his usual confidence mixed with genuine concern. "I was worried. We all were. No one really knew what was going on."Juliette hesitated, unsure how much to say. "It's complicated. I'm still figuring it all out myself, honestly."They walked in silence for a moment, a slight awkwardness lingering between them, but somehow it felt different now. The weight of her old feelings for him had lifted, and it was like they'd settled into a new, unspoken understanding."So," Matthieu began with a small laugh, glancing over at her, "I guess our kiss didn't go quite the way I imagined."Juliette's cheeks warmed, but she managed to laugh, too, shaking her head. "No, me neither. I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... It just wasn't what I thought it'd be."He grinned, his shoulders relaxing. "You know, I think I can live with that. You're a good friend, Juliette. I'd rather have that than something forced."His honesty warmed her, and she felt a renewed sense of ease. "Me too. I think I needed to realize that. Thanks, Matthieu... for being so cool about it.""Of course," he said, giving her a reassuring smile before glancing down the hallway as the bell rang. "Anyway, welcome back. Don't be a stranger."With a wave, he headed off to his next class, and Juliette was left with an unexpected feeling of peace. Things with Matthieu felt... right. Just two friends who'd tried something and realized they were better this way. She felt grounded, as if a piece of her life had shifted into place.
The day went by smoothly, and though a few classmates stopped to check on her, everything was pleasantly routine. Classes came and went, and Juliette almost forgot about the days she'd spent away. It was like being swept up in a comforting rhythm, her mind focused on equations, sentences, and history dates.
But then, as she left her last class of the day, she heard it. That sound. The echo of sirens.A wave of cold washed over her. It wasn't real, of course—it was the memory of sirens, an echo of the SAMU ambulance that had taken her to the hospital. But in that moment, her heart started pounding as if she were back there, hearing the blare of the siren coming closer, knowing something was wrong but feeling helpless to do anything about it.Panic surged through her, quick and sharp. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think, and the world around her felt as if it were closing in. She glanced around, barely able to make out her classmates, who were chatting, packing up, laughing. She felt like she was drowning, invisible to everyone around her.Desperate, she ran, her feet taking her down a familiar hallway until she reached the door of the dance studio. She threw it open and stepped inside, gasping as she closed the door behind her. The room was empty except for Madame Léon, her dance teacher, who looked up in surprise.
"Juliette?" Madame Léon asked, setting down her clipboard. "Are you all right?"
Juliette took a shaky breath, leaning against the door. "I... I heard a siren, and I don't know... I just... I needed to be here."Her teacher's face softened, and she crossed the room to place a comforting hand on Juliette's shoulder. "Come, sit with me."Madame Léon guided her to the floor, where they both sat against the mirrored wall. Juliette tried to focus on her breathing, steadying herself with each inhale, each exhale, her teacher's calm presence grounding her.
"Juliette," Madame Léon began, her tone warm and reassuring. "I know what happened to you was frightening. And it's natural that certain sounds or memories will bring back those feelings. You're learning to navigate a new reality, and that isn't easy."
Juliette nodded, her chest still tight but her heartbeat slowing. "I just... I don't want to feel like this forever. I don't want to be afraid of every little thing that reminds me of the hospital."Her teacher's eyes softened with understanding. "Juliette, fear is something we can't always control, but we can learn to move through it. You're already taking steps, whether you realize it or not. You came back to school. You reached out for help. That's resilience."The words were a comfort, but Juliette still felt a sense of restlessness. "But... what if it doesn't go away? What if... what if this feeling is just part of me now?"Madame Léon took a deep breath, as if gathering her own thoughts. "Juliette, when I was younger, I was diagnosed with arthritis. I had to stop dancing for a year, and I was terrified that I'd never be able to return to the thing I loved most."
Juliette's eyes widened, listening intently as Madame Léon continued.
"For a long time, I didn't think I'd ever be the same. And in a way, I wasn't," she said, her gaze distant. "But I learned that living with a chronic condition isn't about erasing the fear or pretending it doesn't exist. It's about learning to live alongside it, to still find joy and purpose even in the face of uncertainty."Juliette looked down, letting the words sink in. "So... you think I can still be who I was before?"Madame Léon smiled, a gentle, reassuring expression. "I think you'll still be yourself, but a new version of yourself. You'll carry the strength of this experience, the resilience that comes from facing something hard and moving forward anyway."
A sense of quiet courage filled Juliette. She wasn't sure she felt ready to embrace this new version of herself, but she could feel the seed of that courage, small but growing. "Thank you," she whispered, the words barely audible but filled with gratitude.Madame Léon hand gently squeezed her shoulder. "Remember, you're not alone in this, Juliette. You have people who care about you, who want to help you. And if ever you feel lost, this studio is always here for you. Dance has a way of helping us make sense of things we can't quite explain."
Juliette nodded, a flicker of warmth easing the coldness that had gripped her. The studio felt like a safe haven, a place where she could be herself, no matter what changes or fears she faced. And knowing that her teacher understood, that she had walked her own path through uncertainty, made Juliette feel braver somehow.Madame Léon stood, extending a hand to help her up. "Now, would you like to stay for a while? I can put on some music, and you can dance, or simply sit here and let your mind be still."
Juliette smiled, feeling a glimmer of hope. "I'd like that. I think I just need to feel... grounded."Her teacher nodded and went over to the small stereo in the corner, selecting a soft, soothing piece of music. As the first notes filled the room, Juliette took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She let the music flow through her, feeling her body relax, her heartbeat settling into the gentle rhythm.When she opened her eyes, she moved slowly, deliberately, letting herself flow with the music. Each movement felt like a release, a way of reclaiming her body and her mind from the fear that had held her in its grip.As she moved, she could feel Madame Léon's quiet presence, a comforting reminder that she wasn't alone. And though the path ahead was uncertain, in that moment, Juliette felt something she hadn't felt since before the hospital: peace.
When the music ended, she turned back to Madame Léon, a small smile on her face. "Thank you," she said softly, her heart full of gratitude. "For everything."
Madame Léon returned the smile, her eyes kind and warm. "You're very welcome, Juliette. Remember, you have a strength within you that no one can take away."
Juliette nodded, feeling the weight of those words settle over her like a shield. She gathered her things, feeling lighter, more centered than she had in weeks. As she walked out of the studio, she felt a quiet certainty that no matter what challenges lay ahead, she would find a way through them.And that, she realized, was all she needed to keep going.
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