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"Get up! Yo, wake up. Come on!" Taystee shook the two girls who were practically attached to each other. Aaliyah groaned, throwing the pillow at Taystee. "What now?" She sat up, Taystee still shaking Janae. "Y'all gotta see this man. These two will not come to an agreement at all." Aaliyah scoffed as Janae began to wake up. "Yeah, because they secretly wanna fuck each other." Taystee grimaced, grabbing Aaliyah's hand and pulling her up. Janae rubbed her eyes, getting off the bed.

"I'm startin' to think we should call your brother to negotiate with that lady, or your dad," Taystee said as they walked out of the dorm, Cindy catching up with them, Taystee having already woken her up. "Well, if it comes to that, I'm sure my brother would love to." Aaliyah added. "On the contrary, I feel like these two need to put their feelings aside and handle business." Aaliyah shrugs, walking into the room and sitting on the stool. Though maybe the stool was cursed.

Taystee stood in the room, Cindy and Janae by the doorframe as Figueroa and Caputo went back and forth. "You need to look at this from a broader perspective. There is only so much taxpayer money available. You want to tell the kids at PS whatever that their music program's been canceled because a bunch of inmates need to cage their rage with arts and crafts?" Aaliyah, Janae, and Cindy all looked at her in offense.

"This is not about resource allocation, it's about priorities. Is the goal to rehabilitate these women, of line the pockets of MCC's shareholders?" Caputo argues. "Who gives a shit about MCC? You are arguing with the wrong bogeyman. I represent the governor, and his priority is that we end this ASAP." Ms. Fig states, leaning forward on the table. "Well, it's my priority to make sure we do right by these women," Caputo replies, gesturing to the four women, though Aaliyah was holding her head up on the counter, half asleep.

"And why do you think I'm here, Joe? To have a threesome with you and that lunatic who ran in here before? I gave three years of my life to this place." Ms. Fig stood straighter, slowly walking around the table as she spoke, "I know I took my share, but maybe that's why I'm here, pulling an all-nighter in this raging dumpster fire, trying to resolve this peacefully." Ms. Fig sits on the corner of the table, looking down at Caputo. "So come on. Meet me halfway."

Caputo glances down at her legs, making Aaliyah raise a brow, not seeing how her legs were currently relevant. "You're not going to reinvent the prison-industrial complex in your shit-stained boxers. The system is broken." Caputo scoffs lowly, standing up. "And how'd it get to be that way, huh? You think a toothy middle manager with holes in her pocket had something to do with that?" He looks down at her as she stands back up. "Well, a petty bureaucrat who needs constant stroking didn't exactly move it along."

All the women shared looks, not sure this was about negotiations anymore. "Well, at least I tried, Natalie. If you hadn't come before me-" Aaliyah's mouth fell open as Natalie interrupted Caputo. "Once. And even then, it was a photo finish." Aaliyah chuckled under her breath, glancing at a very confused Janae. "You woke us up for this shit?" Janae questions, pointing her pinky finger at the two.

Taystee sighs, "This is a disaster." Aaliyah giggles, laying her head on her arms. Janae agrees, "Yeah, this is not a healthy relationship right here." They watched as Fig and Caputo bickered back and forth. Cindy disagreeing, "I think it's kinda hot, actually. So," she inhaled deeply, "angry and sweaty. Like they wanna fuck each other to death." Aaliyah smirks, "I know who I wanna fuck," she mumbles under her breath, Janae rolling her eyes at Aaliyah's sexual comments.

"We ain't never gonna get to Bayley with this shit. Not a single new demand has even been agreed on since they started scrappin'." Taystee says in frustration. Janae looks to Taystee. "Man, I keep tellin' you, T, white people mess up everything." Cindy hums in agreement, pulling the lollipop from her mouth. "Twerking, cornrows, Africa...the White House." Janae nods, Aaliyah giving a thumbs up. "She got a point."

Aaliyah turns her attention back on the future couple. "Face it, Joe. You fucked this up. And I don't think it's the first time you've heard that, is it? It's kind of like you have a reverse Midas touch. Everything you put your hands on turns to shit." Caputo hums, barely audible. "Now, what's that make you, sweetheart?"

Natalie seemed pretty speechless, Taystee interrupting this before they could continue. "Yo, what the fuck is goin' on? Y'all supposed to be negotiatin'. I don't know what kinda pervy pillow talk this is, but cut it the fuck out! We got important business to take care of, and it's two o'clock in the goddamn morning, so sit down!" Taystee scolds. Both of them sat down in their chairs, obeying her orders.

Taystee backs up, subconsciously hitting her hand on the counter, causing Aaliyah's hand to drop again and let her head fall on the counter. "Ow."

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Aaliyah was leaned against the doorframe, Janae and Cindy keeping watch just outside as Taystee was getting Caputo and Ms. Fig back to the topic. "I think we can all agree that y'all are the ones who made a mess of this place. But can we please get back to talking about how to fix it? I don't wanna hear no more about how he done shit premature or how she like to take a bite out of crime. And no more bullshit about bending over and taking it up the ass or any other sick business that MCC might have made y'all do for some reason."

"I doubt it was forced upon them," Aaliyah mumbles, Taystee shooting her a look. "And if y'all cannot come to an agreement, I will call someone else to represent us, and it's gon' be someone from the Channing family. Ya know, the one that makes you shit your pants?" Taystee says, Mr. Caputo immediately knowing she meant Jeremiah Channing. Though Alec was also very intimidating as well. "That's not necessary," Figueroa says, not wanting to negotiate with either Channing.

"You're absolutely right, Jefferson."

"If I could just-" Taystee interrupts Ms. Fig, "You could just listen..is what you could just." Figueroa goes quiet, Caputo holding a small smile. Taystee sighs, getting back on track. "It's time to talk about Bayley." Figueroa looks up at her, "I think it's time we talk about the guard that Diaz shot." Aaliyah scoffs, it wasn't like he was dead. "She shot the guy with his own gun that he brought it here and started waving around."

"I'm sorry, but guns don't shoot people. People shoot people. And in this case, it's one of your people who did the shooting." Aaliyah rolls her eyes, "Technically, he deserved it," she mutters. "Are you negotiating for the governor, or for the NRA? Because we settled all of that. And Diaz is gone." Taystee shot back to Ms. Fig. "Well, how do I even know if this guard is still alive?" Figueroa questioned.

"You got my word for it is how. And we know the inmate Bayley killed is for sure dead." Aaliyah looked down at the mention of Poussey, still hating the feeling of her being gone.

"Well, I would like to see this Humphrey before we press on any further. Not that I don't trust your word." Figueroa states. Taystee shook her head, becoming frustrated, she looks to Caputo who spoke up. "Do you trust mine?" Ms. Fig sighs, glancing at him. "I've seen him, Natalie."

"And?"

"Yeah, he was in some discomfort, but he's stable," Caputo confirms. Taystee mouthing a "thank you" towards him. Ms. Fig believes him. "Okay, then." They all lean back towards the table, Caputo pointing to the list. "Now, should we look at demand number ten, the inmates desire for more nutritious food?" Caputo says, pointing to it on the list of demands they had laid out.

"I am afraid the costs associated with-" Taystee interrupts her again. "Hey, don't go sinking your big teeth back into the budget bullshit, Ms. Figueroa." Ms. Fig yawns through Taystee's talking. "And stop yawning! We got work to do." Taystee grabs some files and paper, "Now listen, I got reports right here, okay? All science and shit. They say, "Giving inmates a balanced diet with fresh fruit and vegetables reduces the cost of health care by 30% on an annual basis." Those savings should be more than enough to cover the cost of a GED program."

"Bloody hell, why did we not point this out sooner?" Aaliyah questions out loud.

Aaliyah was suddenly yanked out of the room, Janae dragging her over. "We got a problem!" She whisper-shouted, pointing at Suzanne who was wheeling a very dead looking Humps. "Oh shit." They all run over, shushing Suzanne who was calling Taystee's name. "Aw, no, no, no! What the fuck is goin' on?" Janae, Cindy, and Aaliyah hold onto the wheelchair, making sure she couldn't push him to the front where Figueroa would see him.

"This issue is he is not breathing. And the body needs oxygen, or else the cells curl up like old leaves. But don't jump in the leaves, because the pile might have ticks and spiders in them." Suzanne rambles as Aaliyah checks for a pulse, not finding any, she shook her head at Cindy. "Okay. What happened to you, Suzanne?" Janae let's go of the chair to place her hands on Suzanne's forearms, the girl freaking out. "I need help!" She cried.

Aaliyah placed her hand on Humps chest, not finding a heartbeat either. "Fuck." She breathed out. This could ruin everything Taystee was doing and could potentially get Diaz the death sentence, or a life sentence. "Then we got to get his cells to iron out, because.. But you cannot touch the iron, because it's going to burn your fingers. You have to throw your spit at it and listen!" They're quick to shush her, not wanting Taystee or Figueroa to hear. "Just the sound of the sizzle."

Janae, Cindy, and Aaliyah all share looks, Suzanne quick to point it out. "What are you seeing, eye-lookers?" Janae shook her head, trying to reassure her. "Look, Taystee needs to see this. She needs to!" Suzanne tries to push the chair but Aaliyah is quick to hold it in place. "Taystee busy right now, all right?"

Janae immediately pretends Humphrey is okay, "Yeah, I, uh..think he's okay." She holds up his face, trying to make it seem like he's smiling. "Look, he even smilin'." Cindy says. "Wait. I think I hear him breathin' again. He just needed some air, right?" Aaliyah blinks, trying to come up with an idea. "No, no, no, no." Suzanne cries, not believing it. Cindy shushes her, "Nice job, Suzanne." Cindy slowly gets Suzanne to let go of the wheelchair.

"Okay. Let's just U-turn this and go to Medical, okay sweets?" Aaliyah nods to Cindy who backs it up to turn the chair with Humps around. "Do a three-point turn, maybe, all right? Here we go." Aaliyah walks by Cindy, Janae behind them with Suzanne, attempting to calm the girl down some. "We're going on a trip to Medical." Cindy sings, Janae copying her. "We're going to Medical. We're going to Medical."

"We're going to hell man," Aaliyah breathed out.

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a/n: i miss aaliyahs flirting ngl 😭

nothing much else ive got to say here except the stool possibily being cursed 🏃‍♀️

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