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Alissa leaned against the board that kept track of who was winning, Carol beside her, looking for Frieda. They were out on the field for a game of kickball. It was Frieda's plan to attack D-block yet she was nowhere to be found. It was really suspicious. Carol pulled her cigarette from her mouth, grabbing the shirt of another inmate next to her, "Where the fuck is Frieda?" The other girl next to them answered, "Haven't seen her since the bottom of the third."

"I saw her gettin' walked off by a CO, I think." The girl who was in Carol's grasp said. Carol angrily tugged on her shirt, "Damn it! This whole thing was her plan. Plus, she fucked up our kicking order." Carol felt under the board, grabbing a shiv Frieda had left under there. "Maybe she's in the bathroom," Alissa suggested as Barbara called Carol's name. "You're up, Carol! Unless you want an automatic out for delay of game!"

"Fuck it, I'll do it myself. Liss, keep a lookout for Frieda. We go on my signal. They'll never know what hit 'em." Carol smirked, walking off towards the kicking spot. "Hey. Don't we get any weapons?" One of them asked. Carol turned back to look at her, "use what God gave you. What are you, a fucking pussy?" Alissa smirked, watching as Carol strut away, a smoke in her mouth with her hands out, making Barb shoot her an annoyed look.

Carol flicked the cigarette, getting in a position to kick the ball. Barb rolled the ball only for Carol to stop it with her foot, pulling the shiv from her shirt, she stabbed a hole into it and let out a shout, signaling C-block to charge. Alissa stood by the board, still looking out for Frieda. "Fuck no! Don't just stand there like dummies! Go!"

Carol knocked out the girl behind her before charging at her sister, throwing a right hook. "What's your goddamn damage, Carol?!" Barb said, holding her cheek where Carol hit her. "You are," Carol retorts. "Never could stand losing to me, could you? Always had to ruin a perfectly good game, just like when we played Risk."

Carol clenched her fists angrily, "That's because you always cheated!" Carol swung angrily, Barb dodging her back falling back, "Bullcrap!" Carol climbed on top of her. "Bulltrue! You think I care about some stupid game? You stole my stash." Carol held her sister down, Barb looking at with wide eyes, "What the hell are you talking about?" Barb clearly having no clue what Carol was going on about.

"I'd fuckin' kill you twice." Carol used the shiv to cut a large wound on Barb's cheek. "Once for stealing my drugs, and once for my Burt poster." Barb clenched her jaw, glaring at her younger sister. "Burt Reynolds sucks balls. And I didn't take your drugs. Double-dog pinky, Care. If I did, I'd be struttin' and you know it." Realization began to hit Carol, it was all adding up. Everything led back to Frieda. That's why she wasn't there. Because she was busy selling Carol out.

Carol stabbed the ground next to Barb angrily. "Frieda!"

Alissa looked up at Carol's scream, her eyes widening. A D-block girl took this distraction as an advantage, tackling the girl into the grass. Alissa grunt, pushing her off, she threw a punch. She didn't know why but she couldn't stop herself. She punched the girl again, and again, tears screaming down her face like she was pretending this girl was Frieda. Eventually she was pulled off by a CO, the girl underneath her looking unrecognizable.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

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Heartbreak. It was a tricky thing. It was a feeling of getting your heart emotionally shattered. When someone leaves you, the leave a hole. A hole that feels so empty and you long for it to be filled again. So you try and try to fill it in with temporary people, with short term distractions, with sleeping your problems away. When someone leaves you, you often for that the hole hasn't always felt so empty. But it also hasn't been filled with them. You can fill the hole up again with people, with things that make you feel whole.

This didn't work well in Alissa's case. She had no one, she had nobody. She didn't even have Carol, who was currently being held in Ad Seg. She felt as though nothing could fill the hole Frieda left. She couldn't even if she tried. She didn't have friends, and she couldn't make them. So she felt stuck. She felt stuck with this void, her body on autopilot as the days went by, it was slowly swallowing her whole. And she was angry. Angry with everything and everyone, and mostly, angry with herself. Angry that she let herself be fooled by someone she thought cared about her.

She also felt lonely.

Carol and Barb had been given 20 extra years for contraband and were held up in Ad Seg for now. Alissa hadn't gotten any time, apparently Frieda just ratted out Carol and Barb. But it didn't take away the fact that she betrayed them. All the love she had for Frieda simply formed into pure hatred. She vowed she would kill her if she ever saw her again. The nightmares had returned, getting worse each day. But Alissa didn't care anymore. They hardly effected her now. The evil her parents did, no longer had an effect on her.

Alissa knew a thing or two about betrayal herself. Only she wasn't the receiver. She was the giver. She had "accidently" turned in her parents. One day she had heard her parents were planning to move because they felt the police were onto them. So, she may have let it slip to her teacher about what her parents were doing.

The next time was when she had caught onto her boyfriend Tate. She went into his shack that he never let her in and seen everything. It was practically dedicated to everything about her parents crimes. She found a notebook in which revealed all his plans to turn Alissa into her mother, marry her, take her last name all so they could be the new murderous Channing's. She went to the police, told them everything in return for them letting her off easy, giving her only the five year sentence rather than the original twenty five.

So yeah, she knew a thing or two about betrayal. She was the very reason her parents and Tate were currently dead. Her parents didn't get a life sentence, they got death row, and she was a front row witness when their lives were taken.

And yet, Alissa had no clue why Frieda would commit the act of betrayal. She sat in their hangout spot, thinking, being angry, being sad, being depressed, all of the above. She was so wrapped up in her own head she didn't pay attention to anything around her. Which is why she didn't notice the fake blonde sobbing hysterically next to her. She was kicking and punching stuff before her knees eventually buckled and she sobbed, finally letting out all those tucked in emotions.

Alissa finally noticed her when she threw a book, the book almost hitting her in the face but hit and fell against the wall Alissa was leaned against. "You were in love with her too, huh?" Alissa spoke, causing the crying to form into sniffles. "What?" Carol looked at the dirty blonde, feigning confusion. Alissa cleared her throat, going to sit next to Carol on the makeshift couch. "I figured it out a few months ago. You were always looking at her like she was the only person on the planet who mattered to you."

Carol suddenly grabbed Alissa by her collar, getting closer, "If you tell anyone, I will pull out your spleen."

Alissa scoffs, unfazed by Carol's threat, "Who else would I tell? If you hadn't noticed, Carol, I have no friends." Carol huffed, letting go of the girl. They sat there in silence until Alissa chose to break it. "I loved her too, a lot. And now...all I can think about is each and every way that I can cause her pain." Carol turned her head to look at the girl, her eyes slightly widened, a smirk grazed her lips. "And to think you didn't like violence."

Alissa looked up at nothing in particular, a small smile grazing her soft pink lips. "I'm the daughter of two serial killers. I was made to be just like them. Might as well stop fighting it." Carol grinned, leaning her head back as they sat in a comfortable silence. Alissa cleared her throat, turning her body to fully face Carol and Carol does the same with a confused look. "So, if you tell me what really happened with Debbie, I'll tell you all the stuff you don't know about me."

Carol hummed, thinking it over before she eventually came up with an answer. "Okay, deal."

They talked for hours until they had to return to their cell for count and lights out. But even then, they continued to talk, finding out they had a lot in common. They opened up to each other about topics they never thought they would speak to another person about. Alissa told Carol practically everything and yet they still couldn't run out of things to talk about.

"I swear, the look on his face was so worth it!" Carol laughed, trying to be quiet was it was hard to seeing as Alissa was super funny. The laughter died down before it went quiet, the only sounds being heard was the two girls catching their breath. "I can't believe I'm gonna die in this fucking hellhole," Carol breathed out, running a hand through her hair.

Alissa frowned, setting her hand on Carol's knee, "Hey, don't think like that. I'm sure you won't die in here. You'll get out when you're like...uh seventy?" Carol gave her a blank stare, making Alissa wince and look away. "Sorry, I'm not good with people..or feelings." Carol chuckled, "It's fine. It's not your fault that Frieda's a snake."

"If it makes you feel better, you still have me." Alissa spoke, her hand still on Carol's knee.

Carol smiled softly, "It does. You're not so bad." Alissa feigned an offended look as Carol simply laughed at her. "That is so not funny! I am amazing, okay! Say it!" Alissa tackled Carol down playfully, holding her wrists down as climbed on top of her. "I refuse!" Carol said. "Say it, or I'll tickle you. And I know you hate tickles," Alissa playfully threatened. Carol gaped, "I will not say it! I choose dignity!"

Alissa pursed her lips, letting go of Carol's wrist to tickle her, Carol laughing almost immediately, trying to push Alissa's hands away. "Okay! Okay, I yield! You're amazing! I said it!" Carol gasped, Alissa finally stopping, she wore a proud smirk. Alissa crossed her arms, acting as if she just won a game of Bridge. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

As Carol tried to catch her breath, she took in Alissa. She found herself admiring the girl's beauty. She enjoyed everything the girl represented. Her dirty blonde hair that was no longer that soft because of prison shampoo. Her soft pink lips that were always moisturized. That small mole near the corner of her lips. They way she always smelled of coconut and lavender. She never thought of Alissa in that way, not when she was so focused on Frieda all the time. But as she looked at the slightly older girl, she found herself feeling things she hadn't felt for her before.

And then her intrusive thoughts won. Alissa's eyes widened when Carol pulled her down, connecting their lips. At first she was shocked, until she began to realize what was happening and melted into it, kissing Carol back with the same amount of force. Alissa pulled away first, looking down at Carol who seemed to be shocked by her actions. But it's not like she was gonna complain when Alissa had just kissed her back without an ounce of hesitation. Not to mention, it was the first time she kissed a girl. Alissa had never been with another girl but she had kissed one, when she was thirteen at a sleepover as a dare.

"Uhm, whoa, that was..that was nice." Alissa smiled softly.

Carol raised a brow, "It was?"

Alissa nods, still on top of Carol, neither of them bothering to address that. "Yeah. You have nice lips. It was a good kiss. Caught me off guard, sure, but it was nice." Carol looked down, hating that, that was making her blush like a cherry. Alissa chuckles making Carol hit her thigh with an eye roll. The next thing that spilled from Alissa's lips definitely surprised her. "You wanna, uh, do it again?"

"Yes."

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a/n: the first kiss stays being cute 😍

carol in the kickball scene 😩 frieda's betrayal was so heartbreaking to write idc 🥲

next chapter skips to the present! aaliyah will also be introduced so i am so excited for that

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