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clementine

Clementine hurriedly walked over to Kit, feeling a lot more comforted at the sight of him. He stood up to greet her and they exchanged a brief and a bit awkward hug.
Sitting down on the seat, she adjusted a bit, putting her tote bag at her feet and her fidgety hands in her lap. His assessing gaze was making her nervous. She hadn't felt like this since... Louis's and her's first date.
"Would you like to sit outside? It's rather busy in here."

It made sense to maybe not sit where they used to, as that could be awkward. But then why was Kit sitting there still?
"Of course, yeah!"
They moved to a nice little shady spot where Clementine wouldn't get sunburned really bad and she put her bag on the seat next to her.
"Nice bag."

She glanced down at her 'I love NY' tote, it was pretty ironic considering they were in London.
She looked up, hearing the smile in his voice, and he was just so gorgeous.
Even when teasing her, she just wanted to stare at him and blush.
But no, she was with Louis. Her and Kit needed to stay tucked away in her past.
"So, I was going to get us some drinks, but I didn't know if you wanted something different from usual?"
Of course he remembered her order, she should have known.
"Yeah, the usual chai is fine."
"Alright, yeah I'll go get that, you can stay here if you'd like."
Clementine smiled and nodded.

He walked away, and she wanted to go with him to try and pay for herself, but she knew there was no way he'd let her do that.
She realized she'd be there a while so she put her headphones back on.
As the opening notes of Billie Marten's 'vanilla baby' played in her ear, she opened her latest read to where she last left off.

Clementine had no idea how long she'd been reading for, but Kit came back eventually with their drinks and slice of banana bread, her favorite.
"Stephen King? Didn't know you were a fan. Come on, time to eat."
Clementine hummed, she was at a really good part, and she couldn't stop just yet.
"One more chapter."
She only stopped reading when he told her to smile, and she made a funny face at him.
She put down the book and told him to send it to her.
She posted on instagram, not tagging Kit of course.

As she bit into the banana bread, he decided to speak.
"So, want to talk about it?"
Clementine put down her banana bread.
Well, there went her appetite.
She had been dreading this, but it had to be done.
"Okay, first of all, I'm so sorry if I ever hurt you."
She bit her lip and took a calming breath.
"Look, I know now I was just taking the easy way out and I know it was the wrong thing to do, but I was leaving and I couldn't stop it. I had no idea how to talk to you and tell you I had to leave. I just didn't think I could break up with you to your face, so I guess I took the cowardly route and just ghosted you. It was a really shitty thing to do and I'm really sorry. I adored you so so much, Kit. Never forget that."
Kit was still processing her rant, and so Clementine just sat there awkwardly trying to find more to say.
"Kit, I never meant to hurt you. In fact, that's exactly what I was trying to prevent."

His face turned stony at that. What did she say that made him more mad than what she'd said before?
When he finally spoke, his words really hit her at full force.
"But you didn't give me a say in that decision, Clementine. There were two people in our relationship, not just you. By trying to "protect" me, you hurt us both."

She wanted to cry so bad. She could feel the tears forming and tried holding them back to no avail. The tears started flowing and her next words were a garbled mess.
"I'm so sorry. I really am sorry. I was just so scared and I didn't know what to do!"

"You should have talked to me! And not kept it to yourself."

She felt so disgusting, like she was going to throw up and cry at the same time.
"But Kit, I-"

"No. I don't want to hear it. What you did wasn't fucking fair. It hurt me. A lot."
Clementine sat up straight at that and tried to wipe away her tears.
"It wasn't fair I had to move either Kit. Life isn't fair. Get over it!"

She really regretted saying that when she saw his face. That was really unnecessary of her to say that. She should have sucked it up like she usually did.

She sucked in a big breath. She hadn't realized she'd been holding it while watching him.
Kit softened.
"Look, I'm sorry love. I was really angry at you, but you didn't need to hear that."

Clementine shook her head.
"No, I deserved that. I had it coming."
She sunk in her seat a little further.
"Is there any way you could forgive me?"
Kit had a little bit of a smile on his face at that.
"Of course. I'll always forgive you."
He reached for her hand and she let him take it. They sat there for a few seconds, in a comfortable silence. This was nice.

Clementine was about to say something when she heard a very loud,
"Clementine? What the actual fuck is going on here?"

author's note
I'm so sorry for the terrible pacing I actually don't know how to write. Anyways... yeah.