When Finn and I were younger, we would read the same book every night before bed. It was a book from Earth, one that had been on the Ark for decades. It was called "Guess How Much I Love You" and had a famous line which read "I love you to the Moon and back."

Finn and I always found that line comical, as we were closer to the Moon than we were to Earth. We had changed the saying to "I love you to the Earth and back" and said it to each other every single night.

It was after we were done reading said book, that our parents would instruct me that it was time to hide. I cried every night when those words were spoken.

When we were 5, Finn had asked why it always had to be me who hid. My parents explained to him, that they had made a choice when we were born, and that it just had to be that way. I remember crying quietly to myself until a small figure appeared at the door to the cupboard where I stayed hidden.

Finn was standing there with his pillows and blankets. He didn't say a word as he laid them down on the ground. He reached his hand out to me and I grabbed onto it. He did that every night without fail until we were about twelve.

Thinking about that now, as hundreds of people called for retribution for his crime of slaughtering of a village of innocent people, I couldn't-I wouldn't believe it was the same boy who wanted to sacrifice himself for me, who laid with me every night, who always put others before himself. Hell, he had even gotten himself arrested so Raven wouldn't get caught. The Finn I knew was the most selfless person I had ever known, and that made all of this 100 times harder.

"We'll get this figured out." Bellamy promised as he, Clarke and I made our way through camp in search of Finn. Once the crowds had died down, we instructed him to find a quiet part of camp and wait it out. Meanwhile, the three of us worked on fortifying the camp to ensure no Grounders were getting in.

I gave Bellamy a sad smile as we approached Finn who was sitting with Murphy, a somber look covering his face.

Upon our arrival, Finn stood, giving me a sad glance before focusing his attention on Bellamy who had begun speaking, informing him of our plan to reenforce all the defenses.

My brother nodded, "I'll see where they're thin."

Bellamy shut him down, "No, you should head inside. B corridor will be easier to defend...if it comes to that."

Finn stared back at the three of us, shaking his head slightly, "I'm not going to hide."

"Yes," I announced, giving my twin a stern glare, "You are."

Clarke chimed in in agreement, "Your sister's right. Right now we have to think about keeping you safe. I'm going to talk to Lincoln."

"Come on," Bellamy announced as the three of us turned, prepared to make our way inside.

When Finn didn't follow, I turned to him, "Let's go." I ordered, more forcefully than I had intended.

Finn let out a frustrated sigh as he fell into step with Bellamy and I. Clarke stayed behind, speaking with Murphy about who knows what. If it was any other day I might have been interest in what they were saying, but today I had bigger things to deal with.

"You're not going to get like this." Finn whispered to me as we made our way inside.

"Like what?" I muttered, not looking over at him.

He grabbed a hold of my arm, causing me to come to a halt. Bellamy paused as he looked back at the two of us. I let out a harsh exhale as I met eyes with Bellamy, "We'll be in in a second." I promised.

Once Bellamy had disappeared inside, Finn forced me to look at him, "You can't save me from this." he announced which caused me to bite down on my lip in frustration.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared back at him, "You're smart enough to know that I'm not just going to let you die, Finn. If these Grounders want a war, I'll give them a freaking war."

Finn shook his head in anger, "See, no. This is exactly what I'm talking about. You're irrational Avery, you have this idea in your head that you're invincible, and you're not! Remember our last war with the Grounder, how many of our friends died? Because I remember, I remember the dozens of kids we lost to these people. So, I am not just going to let you risk your life to save mine, got it?"

I was fuming as I spoke, "No, Finn. I don't got it . You can't stop me from doing this, okay? Knowing you're okay has been my biggest priority since we got down here and I'm not just going to throw caution to the wind because you think I should. I'm keeping you safe, Finn, whether you like it or not."

My brother stared back at me, his jaw clenched and his eyes clouded in anger, "You're impossible." he snapped, before marching off inside.

I was left standing alone, angry tears in my eyes as I let out a frustrated scream. Like I said, whatever the cost.

---

"Where is he?" I demanded as I finally made my way into the Ark where Bellamy was sitting, loading his gun.

He glanced up at me, "Said he was going to lie down in his tent." he answered, pausing to set his gun aside.

"Thanks." I grumbled, turning to leave. Before I could make it out of the room, Bellamy had a hold of my arm.

"Woah, just relax a second. What's going on?" he questioned as he pulled me towards where he was sitting.

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh, "He's being an idiot." I explained, feeling tears welling up in my eyes.

Bellamy was watching me with soft eyes as I took a seat beside him, "I think he's just scared and he doesn't want anything to happen to you."

This was when I broke. A cascade of tears came flooding down my cheeks as I let out a sob, "I'm scared!" I cried, burying my face in my hands, "He's my brother and I can't-I can't lose him, Bell."

Bellamy pulled me into his chest, "We're going to protect him." he promised, "He'll be okay."

I shook my head as I pulled away from him, "It won't ever stop. If we beat them in this war, they'll come back. Who knows when, but they will."

As if on cue, the sound of chants from beyond the gates of camp filled the air. My tear soaked eyes met with those of Bellamy.

"What is that?" I asked, my voice wavering in fear.

Bellamy grabbed his gun in one hand, my hand in the other, "Come on." he announced as he pulled me towards the exit of the ship.

We had only made it about halfway down the hall when Finn came rushing towards us. I put aside any anger I was harbouring towards him as I pulled my hand away from Bellamy to step in front of my brother. "What's going on?" I asked, glancing around him to see if I could see anything happening outside.

Finn looked over at Bellamy, giving him a nervous glance before looking back at me, "They're here."

My heart dropped at his words as my adrenaline kicked in. "Okay," I whispered, trying to figure out my next move.

It turns out I didn't have to figure it out, as Bellamy made it for me, "Go with your brother." he instructed, "I'll come check on you in a bit."

I gave him a nod as I grabbed Finn's hand, "Be safe." I called to Bellamy as Finn and I made our way to the most fortified part of the ship.

When we entered B corridor, we both fell silent as we leaned up against the walls, awaiting word on what our next move would be.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, his voice full of sadness.

I looked over at my brother, "It's okay, Finn. I'm sorry too."

He cast his eyes down as he spoke, "Do you forgive me?"

I let out a small laugh, "It was just a stupid fight, it's not like we've never had them before."

With a shake of his head, Finn restated his question, "I don't mean for that," he let out a sigh, "I mean do you forgive me for what I did-to those people at the village."

I fell silent as I watched my brother. He wasn't looking at me, his eyes were locked on the ground in front of him.

"Of course I do." I whispered, heartbroken that he would even think I wouldn't, "Like I said, you're my brother Finn, my best friend. I am always going to be there for you."

He looked up at me now, giving me a sad smile, "Aves-"

He was cut off when Clarke entered the corridor, giving both of us a tight smile. I pushed myself up onto my feet, approaching her before she got too close. "Any news?" I whispered, trying to keep Finn from hearing.

Clarke glanced past me towards Finn, "The Grounders know we're not giving him up."

I bit down on my lip, "So now what?"

"Now we wait"

---

30 minutes later, Bellamy came marching towards the three of us, "Finn." he called, grabbing all of our attention, "You need to get out of here, now."

I stepped towards Bellamy, "Where would he go?"

Bellamy gave me reassuring look, "The Drop Ship." he explained as all 4 of us began walking down the corridor.

"No!" Clarke argued, "You know this is the safest place for him-"

Bellamy cut her off, "It isn't when they're turning on him."

Finn had remained silent the entire time, a stone cold expression covering his face.

"We can protect him at the Drop Ship," Bellamy continued, "Grab your gear and meet at Raven's gate in five. She's already working on cutting the power to the fence."

People were beginning to stare at us now as we marched through the halls. I subconsciously moved closer to Finn, so close that when he came to a halt I rammed into the back of him. I let out a small grunt as I moved around him, ignoring the looks from Clarke and Bellamy.

"Okay," Finn agreed, "But nobody's coming with me."

"Like hell." I argued, "Were you not present for our talk earlier today or...?"

Bellamy supported my argument, "It isn't up for discussion."

"We are surrounded by Grounders." Clarke said, stating our obvious road block to this plan.

"We split up, take the low ground, we'll make it through." Bellamy promised.

"And if they get us on the way?" I questioned, asking about the threat everyone was surely thinking about.

Bellamy nodded, "We don't let that happen." When no one said anything else, he gave us all final glance, "We meet at the Drop Ship. Avery, you're with me."

I glanced over at Finn, giving him a reassuring smile, "See you soon." I promised.

As Bellamy and I turned to leave, the same man Raven had hit before, came marching towards us, some sort of weapon in hand. "You're going to get us all killed!" he yelled, raising the object, attempting to strike Finn with it.

Bellamy stepped in between them, shoving the butt of his gun into the man's face, instantly knocking him unconscious. "Anyone else!" he yelled, eyeing up the rest of the men who had followed behind the other.

When none of them made a move, Bellamy lowered his gun. My heart was beating in my ears as I watched Finn and Clarke take off down the corridor. As I watched my brother go, I couldn't help but think that might be the last time I would see him.

-an-

guys, we are so close and I can't even tell you how sad I am. All I can say is get your tissues ready for the next few updates...