"It's been an hour since we passed the airplane wreckage." Jasper announced, his hand scanning the pages of the journal in front of him. "And considering we're using a map with no distances, it could be days before we reach Luna's village."

Day had broken hours ago, a steady cascade of rain falling down around us. I sat with my head against the wall behind me, my eyes drooping in exhaustion.

"At least we know we're going the right way." Bellamy pointed out.

Jasper set the book on his lap in exasperation. "We're running out of daylight." he exclaimed. "We should stop and recharge the battery while we still have the sun."

"What sun?" Clarke questioned from the passenger seat, her eyes focused on the rain. "We keep going until it dies."

Octavia, who had been quiet for most of the ride spoke, "We keep going until we reach Luna."

I had just begun to doze off, tuning out Jasper and Octavia's conversation, when the Rover came to an abrupt stop. My eyes flew open as I sat up, glancing around. "What happened?" I demanded.

Bellamy looked back at me quickly, his face distressed.

"Think she can help us find a better map." Jasper grumbled, likely referring to Luna.

Bellamy turned back to the front, "Backtrack." he announced, starting to shift the vehicle into reverse. "We'll find a better—hey!" he cut himself off as the back doors flew open, Octavia jumping from the Rover without so much as a word.

I felt myself shiver as the cold air rushed through the open door.

"O!" Bellamy called, all of us already jumping to follow after her.

"Guess we're going on foot." Jasper announced, giving me a mock look of amusement.

I jokingly rolled my eyes as I jumped onto the forest ground, the rain already beginning to drench my clothes.

"ANYBODY HEAR THE PART WHEN I SAID IT COULD BE DAYS!?" Jasper yelled, following after the group of us.

"Stop!" Octavia instructed, turning to look at us with wide eyes. "Do you hear that?"

I paused, straining my ears to hear over the sound of the rain. Soon enough, I heard it. "Water." I exclaimed, the sound of rushing water now becoming more apparent.

Within seconds, Octavia, Clarke and I were taking off toward the noise, desperate to find Luna and her village.

"Eyes sharp!" Bellamy yelled. "They could be hostile."

Octavia stopped, turning to glare at her older brother. "They're not hostile." she snapped. "Put the guns down."

With a defeated look, Bellamy lowered his gun and proceeded to follow after the rest of us who were already running toward the sound of the water once again.

Anticipation built in my chest as we ran through the forest, the sound of the rushing water getting louder and louder. We were getting close. 

We soon reached a fast flowing river, and proceeded to follow it until it led to a small opening. All of us were silent as we pushed our way through the last of the trees, coming to a stop on some kind of beach. 

I let out a small gasp as I looked at what was in front of us. 

There was a large lake, and tall mountains...but that was it.

"Where's the village?" Jasper demanded, his own eyes surveying the scene. 

Octavia was letting out short, quick breaths as she fumbled to open to journal. She looked down at it, her eyes then travelling to a part of the beach in which some kind of rock structures stood. It looked like they were piled up to look like people. "No." she breathed. "Oh, no. It can't be."

My heart lurched in my chest as Octavia took off toward the rocks, all of us following after her. 

I had been hoping that once we reached them we would see something we missed before, but that wasn't the case. 

"There's no village." Jasper pointed out the obvious. "It's just a bunch of rocks."

Clarke, who had been fairly silent, wore a broken look. "She's gone." she whispered, looking around.

"What do we do now?" Jasper questioned. 

Clarke turned to look at her, but before she could speak, a frustrated scream tore through the air. 

My eyes landed on Octavia who was kneeling on some rocks by the water, her hands clenched in fists at her sides. 

This was our last hope.

---

Close to an hour had passed, and we had decided that our best option was to set up camp for the night.

Jasper and Clarke were working on digging a fire pit, meanwhile Octavia was focused on trying to get a flame going.

"I'll go get some more firewood." I announced, pushing myself to my feet. 

Everyone acknowledged me with small nods, except for one. "I'll come with you." It was Bellamy who stood, giving me a cautious look.

I let out a small sigh before nodding toward the forest. "Let's go." I muttered. 

The two of us were silent as we made our way into the forest. Bellamy stayed close behind me, but didn't say anything. 

Once we were far enough from the beach, I paused, turning to look at him. "So. You want to talk?"

This was the first time since everything happened that I had agreed to have a conversation with Bellamy. It had basically been silence between the two of us for the last while. 

A look of relief covered his face as he nodded. That's all he had been asking for, to talk to me. "More than anything" he admitted.

He took a small step toward me. "Everything I did, I did it to protect you. I thought that was I was doing was what was best." he confessed. "You know that I love you more than anything, and I just wanted you to be safe."

I read the look on his face and let out a sad sigh,  crossing my arms over my chest as I looked back at him. "I'm not sure what you want me to say." I admitted. 

Bellamy ran a hand through his wet hair, "I want you to tell me how you feel. I want you to tell me what I need to do for you to forgive, Avery."

I bit down on my bottom lip, shaking my head. "I feel horrible, Bellamy." I answered, watching as his face fell. "I feel destroyed."

He didn't say anything, just watched me with sad eyes. I fell into silence myself for a moment, my eyes casting down to the ground beneath me.

"Remember those two Grounders you shot?" I finally questioned, pulling my head up to look at him. "That day they came to warn us that war was coming if we didn't turn Pike over?"

Bellamy winced slightly, but nodded nonetheless, which prompted me to continue. "One of those Grounders saved my life." I announced, "More than once."

When Bellamy didn't say anything once again, I kept going.  "His name was Everette." I explained, "He found me after the blast at Mount Weather. He's the reason I made it back to Arkadia, back to you." Bellamy's face had sunken in sadness and realization as I continued. "And he fought beside me in Mount Weather, saved my ass there too."

I paused, as I stared eye to eye with Bellamy. "My point is, you killed people who were trying to help us. You felt guilty, and Pike knew that. He manipulated you into killing innocent people. And inadvertently, he manipulated you into hurting the people who love you the most." My eyes flickered to where I could briefly see Octavia on the beach. "Your sister's person, her biggest love, died because of you." I whispered. "I almost died because of you. Pike was going to put a bullet into my head just like he did to Lincoln. And I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen, but it did." The expression on his face caused my heart to break. "I don't hate you, Bellamy, I never could. I love you, more than you'll ever know. But right now, I don't like you and I don't respect you anymore."

He let out a shaky breath, his eyes seemed glassy, almost as if he were about to cry.

"I think we should take a break from each other." I admitted, "At least for a little while. I don't want to be mad at you anymore, but we can't go back to the way it was just yet."

Bellamy's voice broke as he spoke. "I understand." he whispered with a small nod. "I'll be here when you're ready."

I gave him a small smile before glancing back toward the group. "We should get moving." I whispered. "They'll be waiting for firewood."

And so we did. But not together. Bellamy took me wanting space very literally, as he walked a few paces behind me, his gaze set forward.

I wanted to turn around and grab his hand, hold him close as we walked. But that wasn't something I could do. I stood by what I said about needing space, I needed to stay away from him until I could respect him and look at him without seeing every horrible thing he had done.

I needed to heal the wounds he had caused.