♥️ 𝒥𝒾𝓁𝓎 ♥️

【James learns a valuable life lesson by taking on a role...】

(Sex references & swearing)

this oneshot is dedicated to -marvabell- because not only do I love her but this concept would not exist if it wasn't for Strawberry Wine- really the best celebrity au out there! love you annie ♥️

✦ ✦ ✦

James was lucky to even get an audition in a film by Hogwarts Film Production Industries, even after his successful romance Always You came out two years ago. It still felt like a pipe dream the day he got his call back to play Andrew -a guarded but kind man, reluctant to forget his childhood sweetheart and their dreams of living in New York- so when he got the part it felt like he was walking on air, or Christmas spirit (it was December after all), or whatever it was that happy people walked on! To go from terrified theatre kid to earning a role as big as this was a life achievement.

So when he found out Lily fucking Evans was his romantic lead he nearly had a panic attack!
Lily was playing the role of Andrew's love interest, Hayley -a spontaneous, music teacher that lost touch with Andrew only to be found in New York- and James hadn't been told until this very moment, via late night phone call with his manager, Mary (it's also relevant to note that the first chemistry reading was the next day, starting at ungodly hours in the morning).

"How could you not tell me?! I'll faint on site!"

"This is why I didn't tell you! Because you'd have a fit!"

"I'm having a fit because you didn't fucking tell me, Mare!" James hollered down the phone while be paced up and down his New York apartment, watching the snow fall.

"Well Lily Evans is your dream co-star for this movie! It's a tear-jerker romance, she's never done a romance flick before- only in shows- you can help her expand her brand! Plus you get to snog her like seven million times!"

James tugged at the strands of his hair that were wildly strewn across his head like a broken crown.
"Okay," he sighed, "let's be rational. I can always pull out if the chemistry reading doesn't go to plan right?"

"Absolutely. Plus, after Always You, you're pretty much Mr Romance."

"I starred in one good movie, and technically it takes two people to make a romance. If Hestia Jones wasn't a dream to work with then it'd have been shit."

He could practically feel Mary glaring at him down the phone, perhaps she was sharing a look with her cat, Penny, in their flat not far from his.
"Whatever. You were brilliant, and that friendship with Hestia has gotten you up the A-Lister ladder enough to star alongside Lily fucking Evans so I'd drop the girl a thank you text."

"Will do, Mare, thanks."

"Good boy. I'll see you at the reading tomorrow, sharp."

"Sure."

"Okay, love you! Bye!"

He didn't even have time to say 'love you' back before she'd hung up. And it was only twenty minutes later, as he was pouring an abnormally large glass of red wine, he realised she'd never even attempted to explain her motives in not telling him about Lily Evans, nor had she tried to fix it.

"Damn, she's good." Maybe he should send Hest that thank you text after all...

✦ ✦ ✦

James had done a number of small roles before Always You, only three of which were speaking. He'd earned his role in Emmeline Vance's directing debut purely out of luck, and his friendship with Hestia Jones was also an alignment of the stars. According to Mary (and a few of his own horror stories) it's rare to have a co-star you click with as easily as he did with Hestia. In all honesty, James thought that would be it. He'd have one amazing co-star he'd never find anyone quite as wonderful as her. So going into the chemistry reading he didn't really have high hopes. Lily Evans was the best actress he'd ever seen and she could make anything look good. They didn't need to get on off screen. (Plus it was five-thirty in the morning and he was still in the fucking Uber so that might have contributed to his mood.)

But when he finally did arrive at the meeting and met Mary there, he realised she had a different outlook on the day.
"Charm the fuck out of her. I need you to be delightful, okay?"

"Good morning to you too. Also what?"

Mary sighed but took him by the arm to guide him into the building and to her makeshift office; a tidy square room with blue walls and wide windows.
"Lily Evans. Even if she turns out to be a right pain in my ass, we need her connections, so be nice, yeah? Make my job easier. Plus, Evans is huge so you'll be doing thousands of press meets if this goes well. Fingers crossed they'll be fanfictions and tiktok edits made for you two by the time the casting is announced."

James sighed, taking a coffee handed to him by a runner that he hadn't seen enter the room.
"Thanks- you're a gem," he whispered to the girl who's eyes widened in surprise at his politeness while Mary rambled on out the woes of talent management.

"-I've had to talk to so may assholes-or arseholes as you Brits say- in my time thanks to this job. Let me tell you some of the people I've met... would burn a hole in your brain. So if we can make this easy, although I've heard from friends in the industry that Lily Evans is a sweetheart. And Remus Lupin, the director is a legend as well- I've worked with him a couple of times back when I represented Benjy Fenwick as well, which of course was a while ago and-"

"-Mare?"

"Yes?"

"My patience is wearing dangerously thin. I'm supposed to crank up the charm, right?"

"Please."

"Got it. Now can we get going?"

Mary sighed, pushing her wheelie chair away from the desk dramatically, "that's probably best."

The reading room was simple enough considering the money that Hogwarts Film Production Industries had. The room was rectangular, painted white and there was a large oval shaped table with various seats around it, each with a place card labelled with their character's and own names.

James found his (Andrew Sinclair ~ James Potter), located directly next to Hayley Dixon ~ Lily Evans and Ricky Quinn ~ Edward Bones on his other side. There were only about three people that had already arrived so Mary slotted herself in Eddie's chair and swivelled it round to face him, her expression set as if she were about to give him another lecture. He braced himself and met her gaze.

"There are big names here today, do not fuck this up. I'm not allowed to be in the room once it starts to fill up but I'm going to be at a three o clock with Sirius just across the road, so call me in your break and if you need me there drop a text, alright? And remember: tonnes of charm, killer smiles, and if you want to pull off that sweater all sexy when the room gets too hot, be my guest." She was smirking but her tone remained that low, professional way it got when she was being deadly serious.

James chuckled, hiding his blush with his hands just as another few actors entered the room, he didn't see who they were.
"Mary, I'm not stripping for my cast-mates on the first day, alright?"

"I should hope not."

James' head shot up. That was not his manager's voice. That voice was sweeter than Mary's, higher, more melodic. He'd recognise it anywhere the amount of times he'd watched her movies.

"Oh! Um... hi?" He shot up out of his chair and on to his feet to hold out his hand, "I'm James Potter."

"Lily Evans," she grinned, bypassing his hand and hugging him with one arm, making him realise that she was really quite short, she was on the tips of her toes to reach high enough and James resisted the urge to laugh.

"Of course you are. It's a pleasure to work with you, Evans."

They both sat down and Mary was smirking proudly from behind her long eyelashes.
"Anyway, James, honey I've really got to dash or I'll miss that three o clock. Best of luck alright?" Mary stood up with her hands on James' shoulders and melodramatically kissed the top of his head, then turned to Lily briefly, "it was a pleasure basking in your presence for a moment, Miss Evans." They exchanged smiles and then she went to leave as quickly as that; only turning over her shoulder to mouth 'charm' at James before she was gone.

"Bit early for 'bring your girlfriend to work day,' is it not?"

James was bewildered for a moment until he realised that the tones of that silky sounding question were directed to him, and it had come out of Lily Evans' mouth.

"What?!" He stammered, suddenly feeling like a child left alone on their first day of school now Mary was gone. "No! No, she's my manager. A very, hands-on, in my personal space manager."

Lily laughed and James wanted to faint. Her laugh sounded like his new favourite song. It was different to the laughs he'd heard in her previous movies; this one, her real one, wasn't so rehearsed, or perfect; there was something a little bit more human about her real laugh that he liked. He liked her. He really fucking liked her. Shame the first words she'd ever heard him say were suggesting that he strip for her and room full of actors.

"Well thank god for that because that would have been really weird. I thought you had some sort of separation issue with your girlfriend."

"Nope, I don't even have one of those." He wasn't sure if that's what she was asking but her smile brightened a little. He understood, it felt weird to kiss Hestia when he knew her fiancé would watch the movie when it came out. He'd even been on set once or twice. Perhaps she had the same issue? Kissing someone taken was always a little awkward.

"Really?! Wow!" She stumbled awkwardly, "Sorry, I just mean it's a surprise 'cause you're—"

James wasn't really sure how to behave to such a reaction but he laughed with her, pulling at the rim of his sweater, suddenly feeling a little warm and rather like he wanted to die a painful death as it would be preferable to hearing Lily fucking Evans inadvertently call him cute.

"It's fine, Evans."

"Call me Lily."

He shot her his best grin just as the directors and writers filed into the room, completing the set.

Remus Lupin stood in front of a massive whiteboard instead of taking his seat upon entry.
"Morning everyone and thank you all for coming. It's an honour to be here today. This is a movie I've been trying to pitch for a while now and I've finally been given the green light so hopefully you all like it."

James studied Lupin as he spoke. Passion oozed out his very veins, all cable knit sweaters and passionate gesticulated movements. Remus Lupin seemed like the sort of director that wanted creativity everywhere he went, and James delighted in his presence.

"The story is set around our two main characters, Andrew and Hayley. They were high school sweethearts that both dreamed of being big in New York one day. They lost touch over the years but we pick up our story on the day they both discover they're dying."

James glances around the room to see shocked eyes that must mirror his own. He wasn't told much about the role before he got it, only that it was a tear-jerker romance and it would probably break box office records.

"Once they've discovered they're dying they both use their finals months to track down each other. We're going to cut between both Hayley and Andrew's narrative and we're going to see them in high school and 'now.' I don't want to say too much, but hopefully you like it. So shall we get going?"

There were a series of nods around the table and James joined them, anticipation bubbled away inside him, only intensifying when Lily bumped his shoulder to offer him a smile.

Mary would be disappointed. He was supposed to be charming her and yet a simple smile was reducing him to mush.

This is going to be a long day.

✦ ✦ ✦

He was right, of course. It was a long day. But it was also an absolute dream. James fell in love with the movie almost immediately, the characters, their timing, the dialogue was perfection. Everything about it seemed to just click and they hadn't even started shooting yet!

But the thing that seemed to work the most was Lily and James. No matter if Lily thought he was a bit weird out of character, when she played the part of Hayley Dixon their chemistry was nearly too much to handle, it was a tangible thing. Visceral and real.

One of the final scenes they read was when Andrew and Hayley finally find each other, it's Christmas Eve and they both have about two weeks left to live. They see each other across a busy street of Broadway and everything is supposed to stop. In a groundbreaking scene everything is scripted to fall silent for a whole minute. Soundless flashbacks of their final moments together before whisk by their eyes as they see each other again but it all fades into the palpable silence as they stare at each other. And then he's supposed to run. All the noise builds up in a crescendo around him until they embrace, colliding into one another like magnets. Just the idea of the scene fills him with excitement, the way Remus described his vision for it makes it seem perfect. Legendary.

Everything just slots into place. James thought that the perfect everything in a movie could only happen once, he was yet to see anything like this.

"I'm telling you, Sirius, it's the best script I've had a chance at!" James cried as he reclined on his best friend's couch. Sirius had invited him over to celebrate James' script reading and his new contract to Gryffindor Studios (that was Mary's three o clock). Although Sirius retained his right to celebrate just about anything.

"Tell me more about it then, mate don't keep us in suspense. What's Lily Evans like?"

"Beautiful, brilliant, talented? She's like a dream co-star I can't even believe it's real!" He was well aware of how pathetic he sounded but he didn't very much care. Lily Evans was literally his celebrity crush and he'd be damned if he wasn't allowed to gush!

"I'm delighted that you're whipped but I really wanted juicy gossip. Is she as nice as everyone says she is or is that like contractually required that everyone love her?"

James laughed, watching the snow fall out the window and imagining the scene again, how it might look.
"No she's fantastic."

"Gross. What about sex scenes?"

He could feel his cheeks turning red as he twisted away from Sirius to plaster his head in the needlessly expensive couch.
"There's one in a flashback scene. It's quite tame- a losing virginity sort of thing. Awkward, cute, lovely. That sort of crap."

"Aw, shite. Anything better?"

"There's a few other moments but that's the main one. I don't see why we have to talk about this."

Sirius laughed and James could tell his head was thrown back by the sound of his voice, even if he couldn't see him.
"Because if you get a boner in front of Lily fucking Evans I can laugh at you for the rest of my life!"

"Oh for fuck sake!"

"Come on! It'll be funny. I'm going to get Mary to make sure she's there to give me all the details because you're too much of a gentleman to enclose the really good bits of stories."

"Sirius it'll just be embarrassing and awful. I've done a sex scene before, you've done about ten. There has never been such a thing as a pleasant one. It's simply not a thing. So spare me, okay?"

Sirius sighed, pushing himself up off the sofa and sending James springing slightly.
"Fine. But I'm still laughing if you get a boner in front of your celebrity crush."

"Fuck you."

✦ ✦ ✦

James woke up at three-thirty for the first day of shooting. They were on location just outside London (where Andrew and Hayley are from) and he hadn't consumed nearly enough coffee but Mary had made him promise to cut back.

They'd given him his own trailer with his name on the door and so it wasn't a surprise that he'd had runners and tea-people in and out for the past two hours but he was really trying to fucking sleep before hair and makeup arrive.

Knock knock

"Fuck off!" He whined, immediately cursing himself for being impolite but he was too tired to take it back. He'd ask an intern which crew member he'd been an idiot to when he was awake... and after hair and makeup had been.

Knock knock (louder).

"Fuck off! Please!" His voice sounded strained from the angle he was wrapped up on the couch but now he felt even worse. Sleep was slipping away from him like sand through his fingers, he might as well face the big bad world. It was about twenty past five by now anyway.

Knock knock (whoever was on the other side of that door was seriously trying to break it down. He hoped to fuck it wasn't Mary).

"Fine! Enter at your leisure!" James slung his legs off the couch and managed to pull himself into a sitting position when Lily fucking Evans walked in.

"That's not how we speak to people, James. The staff are here to help."

She was right. But she was patronising. (Be charming, Mary said, be charming.)

"I know I was going to apologise as soon as I'd had a nap."

"Well hair and makeup will be here in about an hour anyway. I was just coming to wish you luck for today. I watched Always You last night– for research, you know?– and you were really good, so... yeah. I think this'll be great." Lily's cheeks seemed to colour quite a fantastic shade of pink, her light dusting of freckles doing nothing to hide her blush.

"Research? I'm flattered," he smirked. (Always You was a movie he was incredibly proud of and the fact that Lily fucking Evans had seen it meant more than an Oscar at this point but he daren't tell her that. Although he'd probably text Hestia, she'd be freaking out just as much as him).

"Yeah well, I also wanted to say that whatever acting technique you've got I can handle. I've got a few ridiculous ones myself so no judgement. Oh– and apparently Remus wants us to go a little off script if the moment strikes, we can get creative, you know? Have fun with it."

James grinned, something about seeing such a famous actress come across klutzy and nervous was hilarious to him and made her amazingly endearing, and cute, and human all at once.
"Perfect. I look forward to getting creative with you Lily Evans, and I can't wait to meet Hayley Dixon."

She smiled coyly, "well I'm hoping Andrew Sinclair is a knockout." And with that she turned and left with another earth-shattering smile.

Hair and makeup had nearly been and gone before he realised...

Holy shit, was she flirting with him?!

✦ ✦ ✦

They'd been shooting for nearly two months before James finally got his answer. Yes, she most definitely was flirting with him...

"You're not supposed to be on set today, Potter." (Lily had taken to calling him Potter whenever they weren't rolling, it had become a sort of playful nickname).

"Well I thought I'd come and support you, seen as you're such an inexperienced actress, I thought you might need some pointers," James grinned in reply, strolling towards her and doing his best to appear debonair, when in reality the very sight of Lily fucking Evans was enough to make his heart stop. Or shit a brick. He wasn't sure, nor did he wish to find out.

"I'll point you out that fucking door!" She laughed just as he came to a stop in front of her.

"James? What are you doing here? Don't you have a life?" Remus Lupin had just spotted him from behind one of the many cameras posted around the hotel room set.

"My life is this bloody movie at the moment, mate, otherwise I'd have something better to do than watch Evans cry in a hotel room."

Remus and James had become somewhat good friends over the past month, they'd bonded over their own creative freestyles and now had build an easy rapport that everyone on set seemed to feed into.

"Yeah well, we're good to go in five so finish up your chats."

James saluted the director before turning back to Lily.
"So, big scene..."

She nodded, her tantalising green eyes blinking at him like emeralds, "yep. A character has never dried out my tear ducts before so this should be interesting." In the scene she was about to shoot, Hayley had been in New York for two weeks and still not found Andrew, her illness was catching up to her and it was the first moment that she realises she might not find him in time. She still has no idea Andrew is dying too.

"Well you'll be glad I'm here for support then. I'll tell you a terrible story from me in Uni and you can laugh yourself to tears."

Lily chuckled, avoiding his gaze for a moment, but when she met it there was something in her eyes; something he couldn't quite place. They twinkled like emeralds, holding something back from him, but James wasn't sure what.
"Thanks, I might take you up on it."

"James! Out my fucking shot! Lily, sit on the edge of the bed and face the window!" Remus spoke in his angry-director voice so James awkwardly smiled at Lily before darting behind one of the cameras just as someone was hollering "action!"

The rest of the day he spent on and off the phone with Mary while he watched Lily act out her solo scenes. It was enthralling in a way, to see her in her natural element, becoming a character and shaking it off as soon as a crew member yelled "cut!"
But the one thing he did notice was that Lily never completely shook off Hayley, there was still an air of her there. James couldn't fathom how she did it.

Although the thing that caught him off guard while he watched her, wasn't how talented she was (he knew that already); it wasn't how pretty she was (unfortunately he'd noticed that too); but it was just how beautiful everything she did seemed to be. The way she moved, the way she spoke, how she slightly altered her voice to be softer on camera, and how the steps she took were just slightly more poised and elegant. Lily Evans didn't just act on screen, she could change the air, the very aura of a place, like it was malleable. It was magnificent.

Watching her perform made him fall in love with her. Just a little bit..

✦ ✦ ✦

"I can't believe you're not excited for this? You've fancied her since before you guys starred in this movie together! I thought you'd be delighted about tomorrow?"

James felt like punching his best friend through the phone. Sirius was back home in London for a project while James remained in New York for shooting.
The tomorrow in question was a particularly important scene– a flashback to Hayley and Andrew together as teenagers. He wasn't going to be immature, he'd shot a sex scene before, but this one seemed to be scripted a lot more innocently, a lot more raw and emotional. It pushed James out his comfort zone even reading the script.

"Padfoot, I don't know. I'm friends with Evans, we get on. I feel like this scene is going to be too real, I'm going to ruin whatever it is we've got. We're close, you know? We go out for lunch most days and everything, I just..."

"Well then whatever it is sounds pretty fragile."

"Shut up Padfoot!" James flopped down onto his bed and stared out the window, watching August give way to September, the seasons melting away.

"I'm just saying! Fine, but you are going to have to die in front of each other in a couple months time so I'd say this is pretty tame."

"Of course I know that, it's just..." he heaved a sigh, banging his head on the mattress for good measure.

"You scared you'll get a boner."

"OH MY GOD SIRIUS I WILL HANG UP THIS PHONE!"

"Alright Mr Crankypants!"

"You're not fucking funny. Or helpful at all. I'm going to text Hestia."

"Hest is in New Zealand, she'll be asleep."

"Fuck."

"Just get some sleep...and maybe work out in the morning just in case."

James groaned, "I'm hanging up, now. Bye you motherfucker."

The line went dead and James was alone with his thoughts. He lay on the mattress and fell into his spiral until he fell asleep...

✦ ✦ ✦

The next day passed in a blur. There was childish giggling, perfuse apologising, awkward kissing and just about everything else in between.

All James can really recall from the day was the feeling of her hands running through his hair, the peculiar intimacy of it despite the cameras on them from all angles. The way her lips tasted like sorbet and cherry lipgloss, and how soft her kisses were against his lips and along his collarbone. The skin on her waist was slightly cold when he ran his hands over her on their first take, but by the end she felt on fire. And every time she caught his eye something swelled in his chest, the look of adoration twinkled there, just below the surface and everything felt perfect until someone shouted "cut!"

When Remus allowed them to go home, both Lily and James stayed on set until the crew had filtered out. There were cars waiting but they waved them off. Once the set was empty it felt like a ghost town of what it previously had been. Every time James glanced at her, a different memory surged to the surface. A different kiss burned on his skin. Neither wanted to be the first to speak.

"Sorry," he murmured, barely audible. Candles still flickered on the set where someone had forgotten to blow them out. Hayley's bedroom smelt like the same cherries that he could taste on her lips. It couldn't have been accidental, it must have been a conscious decision she'd made to keep in character.

"What for?" Lily whispered, not daring to look at him. He wondered if he should look at her?

"I'm not sure."

"Then don't be."

They stayed on Hayley's bed in silence, wishing the world away for god knows how long. James still refused to meet her eye, and she refused to meet his, but it still felt as though they were connected somehow. By something.

James hadn't noticed their hands were so close until he felt one of her fingers brush his. James glanced down to see her pinkie tapping his hand in a feather light manner. Still Lily did not look at him but he could tell she was doing it on purpose. Hesitantly, he linked their pinkie fingers together, like they were making a promise, though he wasn't sure quite what he was promising. But it felt important. It felt real...

"We need to leave," he whispered gently.

"I don't have a hotel," Lily replied, laughing dryly, still refusing to speak above a whisper.

"Come to mine."

He could feel her staring at him with wide eyes but he focused his gaze on their linked fingers.

"What?"

"Stay will me?"

Lily didn't answer right away, but when she did she held his hand tighter.
"Okay."

✦ ✦ ✦

There might have been paparazzi taking pictures of them leaving set late, getting into his car and entering his building but that didn't matter then.
James led Lily into his flat, flicking on a few lights but not them all.

They'd known each other almost nine months but there always seemed to be something in between them. The past day was the first time that barrier had been cut, and now an invisible tether took its place, binding them together rather than pulling them apart. It was impossible to understand and yet it was there, it was real, he knew it.

He was about to ask Lily if she wanted any dinner when he found her curled on his bed, on top of the duvet and staring out the window at the New York skyline.

"James?"

"What is it?"

"Can you lie with me?"

He smiled softly, "sure."

They lay together on his bed, watching the world go by like they weren't a part of it. Slowly they shuffled closer together, nervously and unsure, until they were curled up against one another, James' chin on Lily's shoulder and his arm around her waist as they continued to watch the world turn without them.

"Do you ever think about dying?"

At first he thought he'd imagined the question, her voice was so quiet it wasn't impossible that he'd made it all up. But when she intertwined their fingers of the hand he'd rested on her waist it became clear it wasn't a figment of his imagination.

The truth was he never used to. Not until he found himself playing Andrew Sinclair. Until the idea of dying was planted in his head he always imagined he was invincible.

"Now I do."

"Me too."

Playing Andrew, knowing how his story ends, how little time he had to spend with the only girl he's ever loved. It's made him think about his own life, and how short it's been.

"It makes you think," Lily went on to say, "the role doesn't it?"

"Yeah," his voice caught, dripping with the awe of just being here, being alive.

"What does it make you think about?"

"Everything. How lucky we all are to be alive. How easily that can change. If I found out I was dying today I don't know how I'd react, but I know I'd be disappointed with myself."

He could feel Lily breathing against his chest, "why?"

"Because there's so much I feel like I've got left to do. What do you think about, playing Hayley?"

He felt her shift under him until she'd turned to meet his eye. There was something raw and magical there. Not quite like her aura while she played Hayley, this was better, it was for him. He could taste it, like candyfloss and bonfires.

"It's made me think about how life is too short. And how you should just go for things, no matter what the consequences could be, because at least you can say you did it. And then maybe you'll stop living in my dreams."

Her hand was on his cheek and he couldn't think straight. But he must have heard her wrong.
"Sorry?"

"I..." her hand fell down onto the mattress, her eyes followed it, "I said maybe it'll stop living in my dreams."

"Oh... yeah, I get it."

"That's..." Lily sighed, "listen, James I—"

—Ring ring!

James closed his eyes, heaving a sigh, "that'll be Mary. She phones at all hours."

"You should get it," Lily nodded, untangling herself from James and meekly sitting up, moving to the edge of the bed, whatever she'd been about to say went out of reach when she did.

"Oh–okay. Sorry, Lily."

She shook her head, smiling weakly as he picked up the phone.
"Hello?"

"Fucking check Twitter. And the newspapers. And Instagram. And just about everywhere— GOD DAMMIT JAMES!"

All of a sudden he found himself scrambling to his computer, whatever Lily had been about to tell him –and whatever moment they were sharing– completely vanished. He searched his name up on the search bar and just as Lily joined him at his shoulder, they gasped in unison.

Floods of headlines, The Sun, The Daily Mail, Buzzfeed, almost every gossip magazine he could think of had a piece.

"Check Twitter you fucking moron."

James hadn't realised his phone had been on loudspeaker when he threw it on his bed in a rush to get his laptop but nevertheless, his manager seemed to never tire of nagging him.
"Hold it, Mare, I'm on it."

He went to open Twitter on his laptop but Lily was already there on her phone.
"Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!"

"Will you let me see woman!" He cried, Lily just threw her phone at him and began pacing up and down his bedroom.

"Pardon me, but what the pissing hell is Lily fucking Evans doing in your house at two thirty in the morning?!"

"Can we talk about the later, Mare?! I need to read these bloody tweets!"
Mary went quiet, leaving James to look down at his phone.

Tweets swarmed his feed, paparazzi pictures of him and Lily holding hands were everywhere. They were pictured getting into a taxi, and again entering his apartment.
"Fuck."

@OGjilyshipper: guys this is insaneeeee finally some jily content✨ my heartttttt #jily #jilymovie

@theflowerpotfandom: i ship these two so much omfg ♥️♥️♥️ #jilymovie

@jilynation: IS THIS CONFIRMATION?! PLEASE PLEASE IM DYING #jilymovie

There were thousands of tweets similar, all making James more and more sick. He handed Lily back her phone and picked up his own.

"Mary dearest, care to give us a rundown?"

There was a sigh down the phone, "you two are fucking idiots. Here's what I know: there's been a very small fandom that's been shipping you since you'd been seen having lunch just off set, and now they seem to have blown up over night. They call themselves jily shippers. Now, I have two things to tell you: the first is that under no circumstances will you outright deny these rumours. Press for this movie is scheduled to start in less than two months and I am not having the hype lost before it's even started. Secondly, please be careful where you go. I am sick of cleaning up your messes."

"That's your job, hon."

Lily snorted and shared a look with James that made his heart soar.

"No, my job is to prevent your bullshit from hitting the press unless I want it to. Now, this was supposed to be on our terms. It was supposed to be your characters they shipped. Not you. But I've talked to Sirius and I've seen you two on set and I suppose it was only a matter of time." (At those words James looked away from his co-star immediately.) "Regardless, I need you to be vigilant. And TAKE THE FUCKING CARS THEY OFFER YOU ALRIGHT?!"

"Got it, Mare. I'm going to hang up now. I love you!"

There was another sigh on the other end of the line. "—Love you too, now fuck off." And with that she was gone.

It was a moment later that Lily finally spoke.
"Well... shit."

"Yeah."

✦ ✦ ✦

The next month or so flew by like a whirlwind. Everything blew up after that day. Paparazzi were on set, fandom Twitter had taken over his socials and #jily was trending nearly everywhere.

They'd followed Mary's advice (which had also been given to Lily by her manager, Marlene) and done nothing to confirm nor deny the rumours. Surprisingly, nothing between the two of them had really changed. But every now and again James thought he still might be able to feel that invisible, yet palpable tether, bonding them together.

Sometimes he'd see it in a look, or in something she said, or in the way they seemed to gravitate towards each other in a room. It was nearly too late before he realised just how much he liked Lily fucking Evans. He might even love her...just a little bit.

Shooting was coming slowly to a close, most of the story was complete, all that was left was their death scene. It felt so impossible to film. They'd not done anything as intimate as that since their sex scene in the early autumn; it was now almost Christmas and snow coated the scene around them.

But that day it needn't have mattered what time of year it was, because they were shooting in a hospital. Today Hayley would die.

"Nervous?"

Lily laughed as hair and makeup swarmed around her as they lay in the hospital bed.
"Of course I am. I've never died before."

"Fair point."

She laughed again and James felt light as air.
"Well don't worry, I'm dying not long after. And I need to sit through it while you die."

"Ah my deepest apologies."

They shared a grin just as the wardrobe department were finally happy and ready to begin shooting.

"Okay. We've got this. ACTION!"

And suddenly he was Andrew and she was Hayley. She was dying before his eyes. Everything began hurting.

Something about it was strange, to see Lily there, looking like that. Like she was really about to die and he was about to watch. Acting on instinct, he climbed to join her on the bed, holding her hand in both of his and taking a deep breath. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It's not. It's not real.

But the more he stared the more he saw Lily there and not Hayley. He saw what it might be like to see her there, helpless, ran out of time. It felt like a waste. That's when he realised...

He loved her.

"—but you found me," Lily croaked, a soft smile on her lips. James hadn't even realised they'd been talking. Everything was floating by like it was liquid.

"We found each other."

"Now all we need to do is find each other again, wherever we go next."
Her eyes were glistening with tears, like somehow, beneath the character she knew what he was thinking about. There was something vulnerable there, that he hadn't seen before. Her lip was trembling. She looked scared.

"You know I shouldn't really be here. The nurse will have my head for strolling round at night."
He stood up, slowly to go (carrying the drip treating his character's own illness) when her voice beckoned him back...

"James?"

"Yes?"

"Will you stay with me?"

Somehow it was more than a line, it wasn't a question, it was a promise. James didn't remember hearing it in the script. But he did remember saying it to her the night he took her home...

"Until the very end." They lay together on Hayley's bed until she stopped breathing. It felt strange to hold Lily when she was like this, it was impossible not to feel a little bit like he'd lost her.

Years might have passed before a click resounded, followed by Remus shouting 'cut!'
"We need to run the scene again," he said, sounding exasperated but some part of him was smiling.

"What?! Why?" Lily sat up, almost making James sigh with relief and want desperately to kiss her.

"Because you called him James."

"No I didn't!" She scoffed defensively. But now Remus had said it, James knew he was right.
She'd called him James and he hadn't even noticed? What did that mean? Was she asking him to stay?

James swallowed thickly, fixing his gaze somewhere that was decidedly not Lily.

"Ready?... and... ACTION!"

Three hours later and they got something resembling a decent take. Nothing seemed to top their botched one though. It was as if every real emotion was wasted on that scene... well, not wasted entirely...

(James? Stay with me?

Do you ever think about dying?

Life is so short.

James I—)

✦ ✦ ✦

The night of the premiere was Christmas Eve. It felt like a fitting day since Andrew and Hayley finally find each other on that day, they hoped the symbolism will boost the ratings.

On the run up to the release date, it had been a blur of press meets and interviews. Each one being dissected and documented by the so called 'jily nation' that had made it their mission to prove the two were a couple. Every lingering gaze, every touch, every smile, was put away into edits and fanfictions– just as Mary said it would.

In fact, Mary and Lily's manager Marlene were delighted with the PR. James was delighted with the movie and Sirius was getting his jollies from teasing the shit out of James whenever they found themselves in the same country, or even just over the phone.

The only person that hadn't loved the new attention was Lily herself. Behind closed doors, when they'd managed to sneak into either of their homes to spend time together, she'd been jaunty and just as hilarious as she'd been previously. But whenever her relationship with James was brought up it was like a cloud floated through her. Blocking her away.

The night of the premiere seemed different. The excitement of seeing their movie seemed to overtake her fears and left her grinning at press and fans, looking like an angel. Her dress was a floor grazing, emerald, backless number; which James was pretty sure had been designed to kill him. He was nearly positive the press (and the jily nation) would absolutely eat up the photos they'd probably snapped of him openly staring at her, standing there with his hands in his navy tuxedo pockets and blushing like he was fifteen. But he didn't really care, like Lily, he was too damn excited to care.

Seeing the whole thing in this setting felt amazing. His only other premiere had felt like pure magic, sitting next to Hestia and elbowing each other when a good scene came on so they could reminisce about shooting it. This premiere felt a little different. The atmosphere was electric but whenever he looked over at Lily, her eyes were glassy.

He was building up the courage to ask her what was wrong when all of a sudden she stood up, excusing herself and heading for the open air. He followed her out like a flash, seeing on the big screen the moment Andrew and Hayley rush though Christmas lights and falling snow to finally see each other again. It looked exactly as Remus described the first day in the reading room.

Out on the roof, New York buzzed below them (also a conscious choice to have the premiere here instead of the natural Los Angeles), car horns and chatter faded all these stories up, but James would wager that Lily still hadn't heard him behind her.

She was standing with her back to him, that jaw dropping dress probably leaving her freezing in the winter air. Christmas lights twinkled around her, illuminating her red hair like a halo and bouncing off her dress in scintillating flashing colours, turning her into the most radiant thing he'd ever seen.

"Lily?"

Slowly she turned to face him, an expression he couldn't place in her eyes.

"Oh, Evans, c'mere," he shrugged off his suit jacket and pulled it over her shoulders while simultaneously bringing her into his arms.
"What's up?"

"You'll call me stupid." She muttered into his shirt, sounding as meek as he'd ever heard her.

"I promise I won't. Scouts honour."

"You weren't a scout."

"No but I was in the Cubs when I was five."

She laughed, the sound like his favourite song.
"Fine. It's just... I don't know what I'm doing."

Gently James pulled back to study her face, looking for the answers but there were none there.

"I just feel like everything is out of my control. I know we've been pretending to be this tragic couple in love for this past– what? Year? And even now we've got this whole PR thing going on and... it's just... all I'd ever wanted was to have it for real. It's like you said that night before the internet blew up– life is so short. I just want one part of my life where I don't have to act, and I want it to be with you." Her eyes sparkled brighter than her dress, boring into him like she could reach his soul, or see out the other side of his head. It was unnerving, terrifying, and he never wanted to look away.

He hadn't realised it had been snowing until he saw little droplets sit on her long eyelashes. Unhurriedly, James allowed his head to tilt up to the sky, adoring the beauty of it all.

"Lily, ever since day one I've been falling in love with you. Why didn't you just say?"

"I thought I was a good actor."

He chuckled.
"Honestly, you expected me to guess."

"Well didn't you?"

"Of course I did, but I wanted you to say it first."

Lily smiled, shifting so she could wrap her arms tenderly around his neck.
"Oh, you bastard. I cannot believe you. I've been driving myself mad trying to figure out if you liked me too or if it was for the PR, or the role, and James..."

"Shh," he smiled, pulling her close to him, "I've never liked anyone quite as much as I like you Lily Evans."

Lily laughed as she ran her fingers through his hair, pulling out snowflakes as they continued to fall around them, setting the scene for their own romance movie.

"Prove it then."

So he kissed her.

Not a camera in sight. New York passing by below them and snow falling around them. James could feel the credits begin to roll...

✦ ✦ ✦

When their relationship went public they just about broke the internet. Mary and Marlene didn't get off their phones all of Christmas and Lily and James had never felt happier. Sirius had teased; Remus would say he knew it from day one; Hestia would send James a text saying she saw it coming too; and one day it would become a story to tell their children...

Playing their roles had taught them just how short life could be, and so they were determined to live life to the fullest, everyday. Every minute.

So whenever they were asked how they really got together, what really went on. Lily would tell them it was a long story, but James would insist on telling it...

It all began with a kiss on a cold December night...

✦ ✦ ✦

Merry Christmas! I know this got less and less Christmas-y as time went on but it's done now so there you have it, hopefully you enjoyed it!
Regardless of if you celebrate I hope everyone's had a magical day ♥️