"What about this one?"

Ryan brings the cigarette - third consecutive one if he's counting - to his lips, inhaling deeply, a familiar warmth exuding from the tainted air he so carelessly invites in. It pairs nicely with the gloomy weather outside, feels like it's keeping him snug - like it's adding more grains to that hourglass, prolonging time until he decides to kill himself.

He blows the smoke out. Both an exhale and a sigh.

Wait until the guys find out he left class early for this.

"You're not paying attention! Which one's prettier?" The brunette signals for his attention as she presents him with what feels like the billionth outfit she's tried on. "Or I could try on the one from before, kinda loved the neckline on it," she kicks around the floor for said dress but really, what can she find from the gaudy, looks-like-a-rainbow-threw-up-in-here nightmare that's flooded the dorm floor they're currently cramped in.

"Well?"

Ryan calmly breathes out. "Faithy, look -"

"Be honest, does it make my ankles look fat?"

Ryan stares at her, features undecided between pure astonishment or horror. Surely this cannot be his life now, reduced to a mere lapdog running at the single call of its owner, offering his input on high ponytail or sensible bun? The answer is wrap that hair around your neck and pull!

The chair scraps back abruptly and he stands to his feet, minding his steps so as to not trip over anything and reaches the door. "Don't ever call me here for something like this."

"Wait - you're leaving?!" She hurries after him, grabbing a hold of his arm just before he's completely out. "I told you I needed help."

"No, no -" he moves her hand away, turning around to look her in the face, "- I believe your exact words were my life's in danger, help me or I'm gonna die," he quotes word from word, leaving her speechless for a moment.

She shrinks under his cold gaze. "Y-Yeah... exactly - help..."

"Faithy -"

"It's not fair!" she shouts, "you never wanna do anything with me! All my other friend's boyfriends help them with this sorta stuff - picking their outfits, shopping, romantic dates!"

"That's because they're all idiots."

"I swear I hate you so much!"

All the yelling turns her face red and she's puffing out angry breaths. Ryan starts to feel something akin to guilt but he disregards the feeling quicker than that wolf he saw on the discovery channel ambush that deer (he remembers smiling contently at this). He knows he can be an asshole sometimes, especially to Faithy, like what is a relationship like nowadays? He doesn't need to care but he does mind having to lie to her about being happy with how things are.

Dishonesty is not a good look on his otherwise handsome face.

"I'm going," he says and regards her with one last look.

As he walks down the begrudgingly long hallway, students pass him by, sneaking discrete glances (and failing miserably at it) in his direction before doing a double take towards the screeching woman behind him. Each second longer with Faithy's voice bouncing off of every surface in the hollow corridor, it's as if all the air around him thins out fast and he wants nothing more than to just disappear.

At the front steps of the dormitory, Ryan watches the downpour. Can't believe he left his astrophysics lecture so suddenly for Faithy. Disorder and chaos are inevitable, he sighs, entropy indeed. Maybe he can still catch the end of it? He sees his car and is about to make a break for it but halts when his eyes land on a figure in the rain jogging in his direction.

Okay. As displeased as it makes him to admit this, Ryan has been here a generous amount of times to have been accustomed to certain things.

Like the wild parties they have here every Friday, the women that throw him flirty looks right in front of their boyfriends, the graffiti on the side of the building that's supposed to say Save the Earth, whereas the 'ART' in Earth washed away (ironic since the residents here are mostly art majors) from the rain so it now spells Save the EH, which in a way speaks a message of its own, he supposes.

The one custom - more like an occurrence, however rare it is, that he's grown fairly, less peeved by when coming here is probably running into him.

Ryan watches him dust off his soaking wet hair, doing nothing to help his current drenched state. He has a bag in one hand and it appears that he's put in more effort into keeping the bag dry than his own self. He definitely feels the heavy gaze on him because, A: they're the only two people standing there and also Ryan isn't even being subtle with his stare. The young man, in his twenties most likely, lifts his head up to acknowledge the other.

Green eyes, lacking much pigment making them bright and emerald-like, the most intense pair he's ever seen.

He smiles at Ryan, a tight lipped one.

"You're here twice this week," Ryan blurts out and he doesn't know why he chooses today to talk, doesn't remember why he was in such a hurry to leave. "Been raining a lot lately huh, I think almost all of the department buildings lets their students borrow umbrellas."

The man looks taken aback for a moment. "No, I'm not... not a student here," he says softly, "Just here to see someone."

Oh, Ryan nods, feeling for the pack of cigarettes on him. He sees the other visibly shaking, clothes clinging to his slim frame like a second skin, how uncomfortable he must be.

"You should get in and dry off."

"Yeah," green eyes agrees, shifting from right to left in his squeaky shoes. "You're leaving?" he suddenly asks.

Ryan looks at him, cigarette stopping inches away from his lips. "Yes."

"Here." He pulls out an umbrella and hands it over to Ryan. Suddenly the sound of the fat water droplets hitting the pavement becomes more noticeable and Ryan feels the side of his lips tilting upwards before he can do anything about it.

"You had an umbrella this whole time?" He glances between the umbrella and its soaked owner.

A bright grin takes up almost his whole face, bashful, cheeks warm with colour from the way Ryan points it out and the chilly weather. "I forgot, I guess... I don't mind the rain that much anyway," he explains, directing his eyes to the side.

Ryan chuckles, tucking the unlit stick back into its box as he takes a step closer. "It's okay," he says, gently pushing the extended umbrella back towards the other man. "Keep it. It might still be raining later. This time make sure you use it." He receives another giddy grin, stops himself before he stares too long again.

"I better get going." Ryan walks back a few, pauses, and then, "I'll see you."

It's an obvious lie. He knows they're never going to run into each other again.

A minute later he's in his car. Ryan pats the excess rain off his sleeves, tugging back his jacket hood before ruffling his hair up a bit. The car starts, the blast of hot air gradually warming him up. He hears his phone ringing, sees Faithy's caller ID and proceeds to put the car in reverse. Through the layers of rain and heat and fog, he doesn't see those green eyes anymore.

That said, he's glad he finally said a word or two to the man because this may as well be his last visit here.

⟡

He sees the piece of clothing flying towards him at full speed and lets it hook him on the face.

"Here, change into this." Ava walks back to the mirror, picking up the eyeliner where she left it. "You're really late, y'know, I'd die if you got here any later with that flat iron -" She turns around with wide eyes. "- you did bring it, right?"

Ari nods and pulls the loose t-shirt over his head. He's sitting at the foot of the bed, the care package he guarded with his life next to him safe, his wet clothes piled at his feet. It feels a whole lot better now that he's in dry clothes, not shivering anymore either, although his hair still needs drying; looking slippery as an inky road at night after a shower.

"What plans do you have?" he asks but she's not listening. Ari proceeds to watch her in the mirror, doing her right eye with all the care and concentration in the world. He knows better than to interrupt Ava, that pencil liner can and has been impaled through his skin more than once. He catches sight of her laptop instead. "Can I use your computer?"

She makes an aghnhh noise which Ari decides is a yes.

There's this reluctance inside of him as he starts to draft an email. For a job or an internship or whatever he can get. He tries to make it seem like he's been stalking the company and knows everything about their history but a quick google search on the walk here could probably convey his conscientious attitude to work there just the same, right? There's no excitement or heart-pounding (good) scary type of reaction in his features. Feels more like a burden - a chore that needs to be settled rather than a step closer to his dream.

And that scares him. A lot of new things have been scaring him recently, understands what lost in their twenties finally means, but committing to something he's not intensely, obsessively, unhealthy, compulsively passionate about to the point of not showering or eating for three days straight scares him the most.

"Why do you always do that?" Ava pokes her head out over his right shoulder. She narrows her eyes, lashes weighed down by artificial ones.

"What?" Ari turns to look at her.

She points at the screen. "After sending an email, you go to the sent folder and read it again as the receiver."

He rushes to close the tab. "I don't do that - uh, you... you didn't tell me yet, where're you going?"

It's her turn to watch him and she's close, can smell her sickeningly sweet perfume invading his nostrils type of close, and just when Ari feels some type of uncomfortable confrontation coming his way and internally panics, Ava straightens up and walks towards the bed.

"Awesome!" She pulls the box of oatmeal cookies to her chest. "You got the kind I asked for." She starts to unload the contents of the bag he brought until she finds the flat iron. "I'm going out with some friends, girls' night I guess, but not really 'cause it always ends with the guys being there. My friend's coming over and then we'll take her car," she explains, plugging the device into a wall.

"Do you wanna come with us?" she suddenly asks.

Ari breathes out, feels a subtle sting in his throat. Sometimes he doesn't know if he's grateful for Ava's oblivion and inability to detect when something's wrong or upset that she's the most unserious person he knows, blundering herself in meaningless agendas and incontinence through a cliche party girl life - it's just... she should know by now.

But it's easier to hold this over her than to open up and actually have her care about his problems. The disappointment is inevitable.

"No thanks," Ari utters softly, "You have fun, though."

Ava opens her mouth to say something, however the door slamming open interrupts her. Ari flinches, witnessing a woman barge in, all dolled up and she's actually really beautiful. Except for the face she's making, features unnaturally twisting into something close to Ursula from The Little Mermaid.

"... can't believe him!" She stomps to the bed, tossing her purse onto it. "I fucking hate him so much! How dare he just leave me! Hah!" She scoffs, crossing her arms and Ari thinks she's talking to Ava although the latter continues to do her hair. Quite peacefully, he might add. This must be a frequent occurrence. Now he just feels like the third wheel.

"I don't care if he has class!" The woman shouts. "I should come first - ah! I'm so mad. Let's leave now, I can't wait to get drunk and tell him I made out with ten different guys!"

Ava snickers from where she is. "Has that ever worked, though. He never gets jealous."

"That's because all the guys I flirt with aren't hot enough," she says, collapsing back onto the bed, "I need to find the right guy tonig -" She finally notices Ari sitting there, running a towel through his hair. An instant smirk takes position on her face. "And who's this gorgeous man? I didn't know you had a guy over or else I would've -"

"No -" Ava abruptly turns. "Before you say anything that will most definitely cross a line, he's my brother."

The woman glances between Ari and Ava, puzzled. "I thought you only had sisters?"

"No, it's two sisters and one brother."

"Oh..." She smiles, playful, in all sneakiness scoots closer to Ari. "You grew up with three sisters?" Her sharp gaze drops down to his chest. "That explains the t-shirt then. Is it a hand-me-down or are you really a baby girl?"

Ari hesitantly looks down, eyes widening, the initial embarrassment and horror seeping into his consciousness. "I'm not -" he mumbles, confusion written all over his face at the cursive fonts sprawled across his torso, spelling out BABY GIRL in a terrifying, hot bubblegum pink.

"Why did you give me this?!" he practically yells but it's more of a would've been nice to know I was wearing a ladies t-shirt rather than any real anger intended in his tone.

"I didn't see either," Ava defends and stands up seemingly done with her hair. "I grabbed the first thing I saw. Don't worry, you look cute. Suits you better than it did me!"

They both burst into giggles and Ari wants nothing more than to be a wallflower again.

"She's right," her friend adds, squinting right into Ari's eyes. "But I don't see the resemblance. Are you sure you guys are related?"

"No, they found me on their doorstep," Ari deadpans.

She freezes for a bit. Then smirks again. "How would you like to make out with me in front of my boyfriend tonight?"

Well, that's his cue to leave.

"Hey wait! I'm kidding! Don't go!"

"There goes another guy out the door," Ava unnecessarily jabs, checking herself in the mirror.

"Shut up."

Ari has his things bunched in his hands and is about to leave when the woman stops him right at the door. "All jokes aside, let's get along," she says, "I'm Faithy, by the way."

"Ari," he tells her, a tight smile on display, taking the briefest seconds to study her face and note her intentions behind this niceness. He thinks the worst things and that everything she's saying is insincere. That could be true. On the other hand, he's really been trying to tone down on the pessimism.

Plus, he's fucking tired.

She seems nice. That's enough.

⟡

Ryan walks into the cafe with a scowl on his face. After scanning the classy establishment, he spots Faithy waving at him from a table. He gestures for her to come to him instead. Exhaustion weighs on his bones, also looks like a zombie after testing his nocturnality last night and having practically risked his life, rushing from campus to here on his bike. May have even ran over someone's foot at a crosswalk but he's praying it was a bump in the road.

The plan was to break up with Faithy but she stayed at her parents' over the weekend and couldn't meet up with him.

Ryan takes a deep breath as the woman in question approaches him. He can't put this off any longer, all these delays were disrupting the flow of his perfectly crafted regime. You can't be a star student with undeniable prospects and not live like it's the day before a test everyday.

Just make this quick, he tells himself, like ripping off a bandaid.

"We need to talk," he instantly says, "Can we step outside for a -"

"Not now. What took you so long? We've been waiting for ages."

We? Ryan tries to understand what's going on as Faithy loops an arm around his. He's telling her that he has a group study thing to get to but she doesn't listen, and it suddenly falls into his field of vision, the very table that he's being dragged to. A couple occupies the chairs on one side, their backs to him and damn if he didn't feel like a prisoner in chains walking up to a guillotine.

There have been many instances, in the past, whereby he agreed to double dates. He got sick of 'em real fast though and it got to a point where he had to be careful around Faithy and her tricks.

He has to give it to her this time. She's devious because he did not expect this at all.

"I'm not doing this," he whispers, digging his heels into the ground causing Faithy to stop too. They're already drawing some attention to themselves. "I told you, no more double dates. Why wouldn't you tell me this over the phone first?"

Faithy looks annoyed. "Because you wouldn't have come."

"Exactly," he grits, turning around.

"Please, Ryan, they're already here." She goes around him, grabbing his arm again. "It's not even a double date, just lunch, okay. They're my friends."

Ryan watches her for a moment and she looks just about ready to beg him right here in this crowded cafe. He feels his inhibitions spark at the thought of that.

Fuck.

"One hour." He sighs, pulling his arm out of her grasp, "Then I'm leaving, I don't care what you say."

He doesn't wait for her to talk, wouldn't want to listen anyway. At this point, he's tired and the fact that he hasn't broken up with her yet makes him angry at himself. Even a pushover wouldn't let someone step on him as much as he lets Faithy have her way.

"You know Ava," Faithy tells him at the table, pointing to the woman sitting opposite her. Ryan - more half-dead and devoid of any emotions - finds his seat, barely glances at Ava, utters some type of a greeting. "That's her brother -"

Ryan hums, lifting his head.

But of course, this time he doesn't just glance.

"- Ari," Faithy finishes.

The surprise is evident in his features. Wouldn't have guessed this man to be sitting here if he had a hundred guesses. He forgets why he made such a fuss over this lunch to begin with, opens his mouth and closes it while those green eyes he thought he'd never see again cautiously avert to the side.

He misses the timing to talk and now, Ari, scoots closer to his sister, reading from the same menu. In fact, they're all deciding on what to order as Ryan sits there, still reeling back from this fairly astonishing coincidence. It looks like they're both comfortable pretending not to know each other.

Fine, then.

Minutes pass and the women are talking about what jumps off the menu, Faithy more than thrilled to elaborate on the new diet she's on. Ryan sits there, leg bouncing underneath, craving a smoke more than anything else. He glances up from time to time and Ari's looking everywhere except him. No hey we've met before smile, no funny how we end up meeting like this again grin. And it's harder for Ryan to do anything either when their eyes won't meet.

He decides to leave it alone. The rest of the lunch goes by smoothly, he nods and gives a curt response when talked to, and with ten minutes left in the hour, Ryan nudges Faithy on the arm. "I've gotta go, basketball practice at three," he reminds her, quietly.

"Just wait -" she whisper-shouts, looking murder-y, turning to the people across them with a fake smile and then leaning close to him. "- five more minutes, wait here, I'm going to the restroom."

"No, Faithy," he hisses, "Faithy -"

She stands to go to the restroom, prompting Ava to accompany her.

Ryan sighs aloud. He doesn't intend for it to come out as him sounding annoyed but it's too late to take it back and it painfully appears as if they've both been dragged here against their will -

"What do you study?" a voice speaks up, soft and hesitant.

- or maybe not.

He turns to Ari, who's finally looking at him. "I'm a physics major."

"You're gonna be a physicist?"

"Astrophysicists. Hopefully."

Ari smiles, the same one embedded in Ryan's memory. "That's so cool," he says, "You must be a genius. Like... what - what're the things you learn about? Constellations, the moon, things like that?"

He has sat through many classes of his professors covering a range of topics from purely historical science to computational stuff with some focus on cosmology this quarter, which is a cool topic, branching into more interesting themes but you don't often hear two individuals gushing about the cosmic microwave background and not their horoscopes ("Why do you have to be such a Capricorn?"). Though Ari looks most excited and Ryan wants to know everything about the moon right now just to keep the conversation going.

A nod. "Yeah, in a pinch, there's some other stuff too."

Ari plays with the straw in his iced tea, hesitating again. "I know this sounds silly but I've watched and read so much about the black hole that I have this crazy fear of being sucked into one," he shies away, "Interstellar destroyed me... "

Ryan listens, watches Ari shift in his seat, fiddle with the utensils and glance to the side every so often.

"... I can never watch that movie again - it's a masterpiece, though!"

Suddenly he feels the occasional sprinkle of raindrops, the cool shadow casted by the grey clouds in the sky, the pleasantries he exchanged with a certain drenched man because they're back on the front steps of the dormitory.

"... whirlpools too - I know I'll never go to space and I can always avoid the ocean but this fear is surreal... " he rambles on and as history indicates, the smile slowly creeps onto Ryan's lips before he knows it.

Ari catches his stare and an instant flash of something mixes with the green in his eyes. "Oh -" he looks away, flushed. "I'm talking nonsense. I'm sorry."

"No don't - don't apologise, you're fun to talk to," he says, causing the red tint over Ari's cheeks. "What do you do?"

There's a pause first. "Nothing interesting. Just art." Ari shrugs.

Ryan hums, "Like painting?" He tries to express interest, he isn't much of an art enthusiast.

"Yeah, I paint sometimes, when I feel like it... " Ari's voice gets softer than ever and his tone drifts away along with his gaze. When it gets too quiet between them, he pulls his lips into a tight smile. "Wha - what," he sighs, scrambling for words, "How much longer until you graduate? You probably wanna travel, huh. Everyone I know tells me they can't wait to get out of the country."

"You don't?"

Ari smiles again, downcasted. He nods, maybe, Ryan isn't sure.

At this point, Ryan senses he's struck ten nerves in Ari throughout this conversation. And he's desperately trying to defuse that bomb. They lock eyes on and off and it's weird, he's so aware of Ari being aware of him.

In one moment, as their eyes are boring into each other's, Ryan feels himself lean in just a little, arms folded at the edge of the table. He can see the other clearer, notes the two birthmarks that decorate his face. One on the cheek and one on the forehead.

Ryan wants to say something -

The chairs next to them scrap back, shattering the little bubble they'd cozied into and of course Ari doesn't spare Ryan another glance or utter a single word for the rest of the lunch. Except for a goodbye smile. Which might as well because Ryan jumps in realisation of the time and is out of there several minutes later, zipping through the streets to get to practise on time.

He knows he missed the chance to end things with Faithy.

But suddenly waiting another day doesn't seem so bad.