The bike purred under her, smoothly eating up the road as she drove back to Gotham; it had been too long since she had seen Bruce, and the Annual Wayne Charity Gala was the perfect excuse to return for a visit.
Besides, Dick and the rest of the Titans had San Fran covered whilst she was away.

Jerked out of her trance-like thoughts by a piercing horn, Harper flinched and was forced to violently swerve around an out of control lorry.
The speeding lorry had been swerving straight onto Harper's empty side of the road- for no apparent reason- and directly for Harper, forcing her to hit another oncoming vehicle- this time a jet black van- and be thrown viciously across it.

Soaring off her bike and through the biting midnight air, Harper expected to smash against the concrete, except instead of the unforgiving pavement she fell flat onto-
A surgical table?

With not a second for her confusion to set in fully, she noticed the familiar restraints against her body. Leather cuffs bound her wrists, feet, head and torso to the table as white-masked people swarmed over her.
The bite of a needle crept through her panic, stabbing unnecessarily forcefully into her arm.

The burning sensation began at her elbow, where the needle had entered, but swiftly spread up her arm and through her chest to the rest of her body.
Terrified, she began to squirm against the table as the pain increased with every passing second. The gag in her mouth refused her scream of suffering, her blood beginning to boil and her bones seemingly cracking in and out of place.
Her skin tingled and itched mercilessly, bubbling as if it was boiling or had thousands of small insects crawling under it, every breath felt like a drop of acid on her tongue and in her lungs.

Tears flooded from her eyes as she struggled desperately to escape, writhing on the table like a snake. Her agony-filled pleas fell on deaf ears.
No one would help her.

A gust of wind blew in suddenly, light pooling onto the ceiling above her signalling that a door had been opened.
A silhouette calmly strolled towards her, inky and with no distinguishable features; she begged this stranger for help, to release her, to kill her and put her out of her misery- anything to stop this unbearable pain...
But they stayed silent, unmoving from their spot by her bed.

Strangely, as her vision became more and more blurred by tears, the man's features became more and more clear; curly brown hair, tanned skin with kind chestnut eyes.
"Dick?" She gasped out, her hoarse voice struggling to breathe, let alone talk.

"Dick, help me! Please, please!" She was screaming now, her ragged shriek for help eliciting no reaction from him.
She started hyperventilating, each gasping breathe becoming more difficult than the last, yet Dick did nothing.

As he turned to walk away- leaving her to the torture- her howls of pain grew louder as the scene suddenly changed again.

She shot out of bed, the duvet pooling around her waist as she screamed, the last whispers of the nightmare still lingering.
Bruce, with a rare display of passion and care, laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, wiping away her tears as he pulled her against him with a hug.

Wrapped up in his arms, Harper eventually calmed down enough to recognise that this man was not her usual comforter. Ever since he and Bruce had rescued her from that hell, Dick had been the one to race to her room every night and wake her up, only to climb in beside her and hold her until she fell back asleep. Of course, he had multiple medical machines and monitors to work around, but he made it work.
It had been a week, and still the nightmares had not improved.

Her weak and shaky whisper cut through the tense night, the only light in her bedroom coming from the lamp by her bedside: "Whe-where is he? Where's Dick?"

Pulling away from her arms, Bruce's sorrowful and worried eyes were Harper's first clue.
"I'm sorry Harper, he's gone."

"What? What do you mean?" She hated how vulnerable and needy she sounded, but right in that moment she didn't care. Her voice choked over the words, as if they were too difficult for her.

"He left a few hours ago, Harper. Didn't say where he was going, only that he couldn't stay here anymore. I'm so sorry, he's gone."

Unable to form a coherant reply, strings of words poured from her lips as she furiously shook her head in denial: "No, no he wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't leave me, not now. I need him, Bruce, please. Please, Bruce."

"I'm so sorry, Harper."

"NO!" Her scream of anguish and desperation woke her up, her uneven breathing spiralling her into a panic attack as she scrambled to kick the duvet off of her.
She felt like she was suffocating, her terrified sobs making her hyperventilate, and she couldn't seem to shake off the horrible memory.
Dick had left her when she needed him most, when she had been through something unimaginable and was suffering- he had abandoned her.

"Harper?! Harper, it's okay. You're okay, you're safe. I promise you, you're safe. I'm here." Dick's voice struggled to be heard over her wails and sobs.

Tentatively, his arms wrapped around her waist, lifting her into his lap as he cradled her. "Follow my breathing, Harp. You're having a panic attack and you need to follow my breathing."

Pressing her ear to his chest, he rested his head on top of hers and encouraged her to calm down.

She couldn't tell if this Dick was real, or simply another layer to some horrible and teasing nightmare. Petrified that he had left her again, she clung desperately at his arms as she whimpered.

"Listen to my breathing... in, out, and in, out again... that's it, keep going Harper. Listen to my voice, my heartbeat. You're safe, you're not there anymore. I'm here, you're safe."

Exhausted from her meltdown and nightmares, Harper could barely do much more than check the time before passing out again, her breath evenning out as she fell back asleep in Dick's arms.
It was 4:28am when she fell back into a dreamless sleep.

~time skip~

After Harper's episode, Dick struggled to return to sleep.
Too many thoughts brewed inside his head, and none of them good.
He had promised her she was safe, that he was there with her, for her. But what did it matter, if he wasn't there when she really needed him before? If he selfishly abandoned her and destroyed her trust, just a year ago?

Regret and guilt bubbled in the pit of his stomach, producing a rolling nausea he knew he deserved.

If only he'd saved her sooner, or stopped her from leaving San Fran, or gone with her- maybe then she wouldn't have been... Even just thinking the word hurt him. But he wasn't the one who had had to endure weeks of pain and torment; no, Harper was the one who had been tortured.

He dragged a light finger across her skin, his feather-light touch dusting across the scars that marred her once-pristine skin.
Her back, her arms, her legs, her neck, her stomach, her chest... the only untouched skin was her face. Apparently- whoever they were- her torturers wanted to keep her presentable.

It should've been me. Anyone but her.

Whip lashes on her back, burns across her shoulder blades, ragged lines taunting him. Her alabaster flesh stared back at him, fragile and broken as she slept. Staring at her damaged body he couldn't help the tears that came, unconsciously pulling her closer to him.

Her sleeping shorts and tank top did little to disguise the reminders of her agony.

He knew it wasn't just physical scars left either, he had seen the evidence of the emotional scarring: the panic attacks, the nightmares, the flinches from an unknown touch.
She had been through hell- and some part of her was probably always going to be there.

He had left her.
Why the hell did he leave?! He angrily thought at himself, his breathes becoming shaky.
You deserved to suffer, not her. But when you got her back, you left her alone- to go through turmoil again, alone.
His thoughts screamed at him with self-hatred for his betrayal.

Closing his eyes, he shook his head as if to rid himself of those guilty and angry thoughts; if he started crying now, he risked waking Harper, and she needed to rest.
So he stopped his tears, squeezing them away from release and instead squeezed Harper closer to his chest, wrapping his arms taut around her.
He wasn't letting go, never again.

Eventually, Dick too found troubled sleep.

~time skip~

Harper woke up alone, thankful that she hadn't had any more nightmares.
She knew that her mind had twisted her experiences, warped reality with fiction. But damn if it wasn't one of her worst ones yet.

Dick was nowhere to be seen, so Harper assumed he must be up getting breakfast with the others. Rising out of bed, a sudden wave of nausea overtook her, spiralling the room and forcing her to sprint to the toilet.

Throwing up wasn't uncommon after her nightmares, but hadn't happened in a long time.
Yeah, that was a really shitty dream.

Sighing, she flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth to rid herself of the foul taste of stomach acid. Deciding to shower after breakfast, she threw on a loose dressing gown over her pjs.

Leaving the bathroom, she caught sight of Dick's cases packed, and began to wonder.
Not having long to wait for an answer, the man himself entered the bedroom carrying a tray of food.

"Rachel made breakfast. I told her and Gar that you weren't feeling too well, so she plated it up for you. I hope that's ok?"

"Yeah, thanks. Truth be told, I feel like death warmed up. How did you know?" She took the tray from his hands and sat down on the edge of the bed. The fry up was nothing fancy, but it tasted good and Harper let a pang of pride strike through her. With a few lessons, Rachel could make a good chef.
There was even a mug of her favourite herbal tea alongside it, but Harper suspected that to be Dick's doing.

"When I woke up you had a temperature, looked like you were going to feel awful when you woke up. Guess I was right."

Snorting, she ate another forkful before replying, "As usual."

Dick gave a tepid half-smile in reply.
"I was thinking... That asylum was home base for those freaks; they won't be bothering Rachel anymore, she's safe now. She's even got her mother back. Maybe she could try to have a normal life?"

Pausing, Harper drank some of her tea before answering:
"I think that that's what Rachel would want, but... Dick, you know as well as I do that normal is never going to be in the picture for a girl like her- for people like us. Although I suppose we can't stop her trying," reading his eyes, Harper continued, "But that's not what you really wanted to ask...?"

Sighing, Dick relented: "I was thinking of visiting an old friend, was wondering if you wanted to come with me?"

"Oh? And who might this 'old friend' be?" Harper's raised eyebrow said that she already had a suspicion, but her knowing smirk only confirmed it.

Crossing his arms, Dick asked "When's the last time you saw Donna Troy?"

Harper grinned, "When do we leave?"

~time skip~

Whilst Dick was saying his goodbyes to Gar and Rachel, Harper had Kori trapped in a bear hug; "I don't care if you 'don't do hugs', Kori, you're getting one."

"Fine, fine!" Kori finally relented and hugged the shorter woman back. Letting go of each other, Kori gave one last teasing warning: "Stay safe out there, okay? We already have 2 kids running around, won't need a mini-you for a while."

Harper scoffed, yet went beetroot red in the face and hoped that Dick hadn't heard Kori's not so cleverly hidden joke. Turning to swap, Dick said his goodbyes to Kori as Harper said her goodbyes to Gar and Rachel.

"Don't think you're getting rid of me this easily, Kiddos. As soon as you're all settled in, expect a visit." Harper winked at Gar as she held Rachel in her arms.

Letting Rachel go, Harper stepped back towards the car again.
"Oh, and don't give Kori any trouble, okay? She has a hard enough job as it is, doesn't need you two ruffians making her life more difficult." Harper winked at Kori, who simply rolled her eyes.

Gar and Rachel grinned at her, with the green-haired boy just yelling after her, "Yes mom!"

Harper was almost certain she saw Rachel snort in her laughter.

~time skip~

Dick was pretty sure Harper was snoring, and he was having trouble wiping the smile off his face. She didn't normally snore when she slept- Dick would know- so she must have been pretty ill.
With this in mind, Dick cast a look towards her, eyes tinted with worry.

Her pale skin glistened with sweat, eyebrows furrowed in discomfort. Twisting in her seat, she cuddled further underneath Dick's jacket, evidently cold.

Casting his gaze back to the road, Dick realised that Harper probably wouldn't be fully conscious for her reunion with Donna.
Shit.

~time skip~

Throughout Harper's extremely long nap, she could only remember a few things from the 2 or 3 times she had woken up; one of them was the warm feel of worn leather- Dick covering her with his jacket in the car, another was the burst of air that followed the passenger door being opened, and the tell-tale swaying motion of being carried, the final thing she could remember was seeing the worried faces of Donna Troy and Dick Grayson lean over her.

When she fully woke up, neither Dick nor Donna were in Donna's apartment. 
Walking out of the guest bedroom, Harper found a note from Dick laying on the kitchen countertop:

'Harp,
Sorry for not waking you up, but you know what they say about sleeping animals.' Beside this he had drawn a cute and squiggly little face.

'Donna says hi- She has also demanded that I 'socialise more' and as such has currently kidnapped me to attend an art gala- an idea I think you'd probably agree with. Unless you decide to spontaneously come rescue me, (please, please rescue me), I've left out your favourite pyjamas on the desk beside your bed, as well as that old bubble bath you used to love, and a copy of 'Empire Strikes Back'. Donna and I will be back later, not sure what time; until then, rest up!

Dick.'
He had signed it with his usual cursive signature, and a weird pang of nostalgia hit her at seeing it.

'P.S. Donna left a tub of vegetable soup in the fridge.'

Smiling, Harper became aware of just how awful she felt; her throat felt like it was swollen shut, the painful pounding behind her eyes and ears making her dizzy. Suddenly, she didn't feel much like smiling, even if it was at how sweet her boyfriend was.

Stumbling across the kitchen, she managed to clumsily heat up the soup Donna had left- which, thank god, she hadn't made- and ate about half of it.
Deciding that the clean up of her attempt at eating could wait until later, Harper slugged herself back towards the bed.

Hoping to fall back asleep without problems, she was simultaneously annoyed and upset when she had to sprint towards the ensuite toilet and promptly spew out the entirety of her dinner.

When violent vomiting turned into dry-heaving, Harper thought she was almost done; slumped haggardly over the toilet seat, she wiped her mouth with toilet tissue and reached out, searching for the glass of water she had brought in earlier.
Before her hand could clasp the cool, crisp, tantalisingly close water, Harper's stomach had other thoughts and she was sent scrambling across the floor to the toilet bowl once more.

Only, this time instead of bile and disgusting chunks of vegetables, strange purple blobs fell out of her mouth.
Eyes watering from the force of her vomiting, Harper could barely make out what they were.
Baffled by her conclusion, Harper let out a moan of helplessness and frustration-

Flower petals? Sticky, folded up and wet flower petals, but still violet and fragile.
How in the hell am I throwing up flower petals?!? What the actual fuck?!

A slamming door interrupted her spiralling thoughts: Dick and Donna.

Panicking, she flushed the toilet- if either of them saw, they'd only worry and fret over her more, and she hated that.
Besides, it was probably nothing... probably.

~time skip~

When Donna and Dick came back, they didn't immediately come looking for Harper- assuming to give her peace and as much rest as possible. Luckily for her, this gave her enough time to flush the toilet, brush her teeth and pop a mint.

When they eventually did come to her room, they were restless and on edge. Darting around her room, Dick had begun packing her bag whilst Donna tried to explain it to her.
Simply too dazed to fully understand it, Harper nodded along and got dressed as fast as she could.
Worried, they jogged a half-asleep Harper to the car. Feeling bad, Dick kept apologising for disturbing her, meaning Harper quickly grew annoyed with telling him that she was alright.

"Dick! I'm fine." She blatantly lied, aware that she looked as bad as she felt, "Rachel's in danger. They come first. They always come first."

A/N:
Just a question to anyone who reads this- do you guys enjoy these chapters being so long, or should I shorten my writing style down??
Next chapter will skip over 1.9 and go straight to 1.10!
As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and make sure to leave a comment and/or vote!!
Stay safe.
Love,
Lyra Xx ❤️