At a Coffee Place

The cozy coffee shop buzzed with the morning rush, the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee mingling with the chatter of patrons. EJ, Ted, Barney, and Marshall sat at a small corner table, each nursing their preferred caffeinated beverage.

"So, I guess that decides it," Ted said, taking a sip of his latte.

EJ nodded. "Without a doubt."

Marshall joined in, "Yup."

Barney, looking around with mild disdain, commented, "Hanging out at a coffee place is not nearly as much fun as hanging out at a bar."

EJ grinned. "That's because at a bar, you've got the ambiance, the dim lighting, the music, the possibility of meeting someone interesting. Here, it's just a bunch of people trying to wake up."

Ted glanced over at the counter and raised an eyebrow. "Man, what's that?"

Marshall looked puzzled. "What?"

Ted pointed. "That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name. Somebody has a crush on you."

Barney, peering at the cup, smirked. "Somebody thinks you're me."

Marshall chuckled, a bit flustered. "Actually, I'm going out with someone later this week."

EJ's eyes widened. "No way! That's awesome!"

Ted leaned in, grinning. "Really? Who's the lucky lady?"

Marshall smiled but avoided eye contact with EJ.

Ted nodded. "Yeah, this is a good thing, you know? So you can experience what it's like to be single."

Marshall shrugged, still looking at his cup. "Well, what if the heart doesn't mean anything? What if she writes it on all the cups?"

Ted checked his own cup. "Mine says 'Ted,' no heart."

EJ laughed, showing his cup. "Mine has a smiley face."

Barney looked at his cup and frowned. "Mine says... 'Swarley.' How'd they get 'Swarley' from 'Barney'? It's not even a name. Who would ever be called 'Swarley'? Oh, please don't start calling me 'Swarley.' This would never happen at a bar!" He stormed off, muttering to himself.

Ted watched him go and shook his head. "Man! What's up with Swarley?"

Marshall laughed. "I know. You almost never see old Swarlz get that upset."

EJ, grinning, added, "I think Swarley just needs to take a nap. Or maybe a strong drink."

———

Robin's Apartment

Robin was on the phone, her voice a mix of irritation and forced patience. EJ walked in, jingling a spare key before slipping it into his pocket.

"Hey, guess what? Oh, sorry," EJ said, stopping short when he saw Robin on the phone.

Robin rolled her eyes, covering the mouthpiece. "It's only my mom. She's just rambling on like always."

Grinning mischievously, EJ decided to mess with her. He walked over and kissed her deeply. Robin, caught off guard, let out a moan into the phone. Her eyes widened as she smacked EJ's chest and pulled away.

"Mom, hold on a second." She put the phone down and turned to EJ. "What happened?"

EJ smirked. "Marshall asked out a girl."

Robin's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow." She picked up the phone again, speaking quickly. "Well, if anything, that's Dad's fault. That'll keep her going for a while."

EJ laughed. "Yeah, and he did it all by himself. I almost feel like a proud parent."

Robin chuckled. "I thought Swarley would have hooked him up?"

EJ grinned. "Oh, good. You got my text."

Robin nodded. "Yeah."

EJ looked smug. "I didn't even tell him about the look."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "I love that look. I think I slept with you because of that look."

EJ playfully teased her, "Oh, is that so? And here I thought it was my charm."

Robin smirked back. "Well, maybe a little bit of both."

EJ continued, "Oh, and you biting your lower lip, shyly looking away and thrusting your chest out is natural?"

Robin laughed. "Yeah, I hear you."

Just then, Lily and Ted walked in.

"Hey!" EJ greeted them.

Lily smiled. "Hey, guys. Are you free tomorrow night? I was thinking of having a wine tasting slash 'help me catch the rat in my apartment' party."

Ted grinned. "That's a great idea. You can put out cheese for us."

Lily looked thoughtful. "I should invite Marshall, right? It'd be weird if I didn't."

EJ hesitated. "Yeah, about that... I don't think he can go."

Lily's face fell slightly. "Really? Why not?"

Robin took a deep breath. "Uh, okay, um... Lily, we have to tell you something. Marshall has a date."

Lily's expression shifted to one of surprise. "Oh. Well... good for him."

Ted raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're okay with it?"

Lily nodded slowly. "Look, we've been broken up almost six months. I mean, I'm not thrilled about the idea, but he has every right to date someone else."

Robin smiled softly. "That's very mature."

EJ added, "Oddly mature. But good for you."

Lily glanced at Robin's hand, which was still holding the phone. "Why are you holding the phone?"

Robin's eyes widened in realization. "Oh, sh**t." She quickly brought the phone back to her ear. "That's hilarious, Mom. Didn't even notice."

———

At MacLaren's, EJ and Ted strolled into the bar, taking in the familiar sights and sounds.

Ted glanced at Barney, admiring his suit. "Hey, dude, by the way, I really like that suit. Tell me about the fabric. Is it foreign or something?"

Barney's eyes lit up with pride. "Wow. It is foreign. I'm impressed, Ted. It's Moroccan, actually."

EJ nodded appreciatively. "Whoa. A classic. You know, I kind of go for Versace myself."

Carl, the bartender, called out, "I got a call for Swarley. Is there a Swarley here?"

Barney's face fell as realization dawned. "You weren't interested in my suit at all, were you?"

EJ smirked. "Aren't you going to answer the call, Swarls?"

Carl repeated, louder this time, "Swarley!"

Ted, on his cell phone, played along. "Yeah, I know he's there. It's really important. Could you ask again?"

Carl, amused, called out once more, "Important call for Swarley!"

Marshall arrived just in time to join the fun. "Geez, can't you hear him, Swarley? There's a call for you."

Barney, clearly irritated, glared at his friends. "Stop calling me that."

As Barney made his way to the bar, Ben showed up, a mischievous grin on his face. "What's up Swarls Barkley?"

Barney spun around, exasperated. "You told Ben? Come on!"

Ben chuckled, clapping Barney on the back. "This is never going away."

EJ and Ted shared a laugh, enjoying Barney's predicament. "Looks like you're stuck with it, Swarley," Ted teased.

Barney shook his head, resigning himself to his new nickname. "I can't believe this is happening."

EJ grinned. "Hey, it could be worse. At least 'Swarley' is kind of catchy."

Marshall, joining in on the banter, added, "Yeah, it's got a nice ring to it."

———

Marshall nervously adjusted his tie as he entered MacLaren's. He spotted Brooke sitting at a booth near the back, smiling warmly at him. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to join her.

"Hey, Brooke," Marshall greeted, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Hey, Marshall. You look nice," Brooke replied, her eyes twinkling. "I hope you don't mind, but I had EJ and Robin watch Max for the evening. Figured they'd make a good babysitting team."

Marshall chuckled, imagining Robin's reaction. "Robin must be thrilled. She's great with dogs, but babies? Not so much."

Brooke laughed. "Yeah, EJ told me she's a bit scared of kids. But Max is pretty easygoing. I'm sure they'll manage."

As they settled into their seats, the initial awkwardness began to fade. Marshall felt more at ease with Brooke's comforting presence. They started talking about their shared experiences in the legal field.

"So, how's law school treating you?" Brooke asked, genuinely interested.

Marshall leaned back, feeling more relaxed. "It's intense, but I love it. Columbia has been a dream. What about you? How's it being a big-shot private lawyer out in Long Island?"

Brooke smiled modestly. "It's challenging, but rewarding. I love the work, and it's a good balance with raising Max. Plus, I have a great support system with my family."

Marshall nodded, feeling a connection forming. "Yeah, EJ talks about you all the time. He's really proud of you."

Brooke's eyes softened. "Thanks. EJ's always been my biggest supporter. Speaking of him, he has no idea we're on a date, does he?"

Marshall laughed nervously. "Uh, no. I haven't exactly told him yet. Didn't want to make things weird, you know?"

Brooke grinned. "Well, it's only our first date. Let's see how it goes before we bring the family into it."

They continued to talk, sharing stories and laughs over drinks. Marshall found himself opening up more, feeling at ease with Brooke. She was smart, funny, and incredibly understanding.

As the night went on, they discovered more common interests beyond law. They talked about their favorite books, movies, and even shared embarrassing childhood stories.

"Okay, so I have to ask," Marshall said, leaning in with a playful smile. "What was EJ like growing up?"

Brooke laughed. "Oh, he was a handful. Always getting into some kind of trouble. Still does. What about you? Any embarrassing stories about your siblings?"

Marshall grinned, thinking back. "Well, my brothers and I used to play this game called 'Viking Warriors' where we'd pretend to be, well, Vikings. It usually ended with someone getting hurt and my mom grounding us."

Brooke laughed. "Sounds like a blast. I bet Max would love that game when he gets older."

Marshall smiled, picturing himself playing 'Viking Warriors' with Max. "Yeah, that would be fun."

As the evening drew to a close, Marshall walked Brooke to her car. They stood there for a moment, the night air cool and refreshing.

"I had a really great time tonight, Brooke," Marshall said, feeling a genuine warmth in his chest.

"Me too, Marshall," Brooke replied, her eyes sparkling. "We should do this again sometime."

Marshall nodded. "I'd like that."

———

Robin stood in her living room, staring down at Max with a mixture of curiosity and mild panic. The three-year-old looked up at her with big, innocent eyes, clutching a toy car in his tiny hands. EJ, sitting comfortably on the couch, watched the scene unfold with a bemused smile.

"So, uh, Max," Robin began, her voice slightly higher than usual. "What do you... uh... like to do for fun?"

Max blinked up at her, then looked over at EJ, seemingly seeking his approval. EJ chuckled and got up, moving closer to Robin and Max. "Robin, you know, he's three. You don't have to interview him."

Robin shot EJ a playful glare. "I just... I don't know what to do with kids this small. They're so... unpredictable."

EJ laughed, a warm and loving sound. "Come on, it's not that hard. Here, watch." He crouched down to Max's level. "Hey buddy, want to show Robin how fast your car can go?"

Max's face lit up, and he nodded vigorously. He pushed the toy car along the floor, making a vroom-vroom noise. Robin watched, fascinated by how easily EJ interacted with the child.

"See? Easy," EJ said, standing up and ruffling Robin's hair. "Just play along. Kids love it."

Robin sighed, feeling slightly more at ease. "Okay, okay, let me try." She crouched down and picked up another toy car. "Hey, Max, can my car race yours?"

Max looked at her, a grin spreading across his face. "Yesh!" he exclaimed, pushing his car faster.

Robin followed suit, pushing her car along the floor and making exaggerated racing noises. EJ watched, a proud smile on his face. "You're doing great, babe."

After a few minutes, Robin started to relax, enjoying the simplicity of the game. EJ joined in, and they had a mini race across the living room floor. Max giggled and clapped his hands, clearly having a great time.

Just then, Ben walked in, holding a game controller. "Hey, you guys having a car race without me?"

Robin stood up, brushing off her knees. "Yeah, we're just trying to keep up with Max here."

Ben looked at Max, who was now focused on his toy car again. "Hey Max, you want to play some video games with me?"

Max looked up, eyes wide with excitement. "Gaims!"

EJ laughed. "Alright, Ben, he's all yours. Just make sure he doesn't throw the controller."

Ben grinned. "No worries, I got this." He picked Max up and set him on the couch, handing him a controller. "Okay, buddy, let's see how good you are at racing games."

EJ turned to Robin, a mischievous glint in his eye. "See? It's not so bad. But I have to admit, it was pretty entertaining watching you try to figure out what to do."

Robin rolled her eyes but smiled. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I'm just not used to kids."

EJ wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Well, I think you did great. And hey, now you know how to play cars with a three-year-old. That's a valuable skill."

Robin laughed. "I guess so."

They watched as Ben and Max played the video game, Max's tiny hands fumbling with the controller but having a blast nonetheless. It was heartwarming to see how naturally Ben interacted with the child, keeping him engaged and entertained.

EJ glanced at Robin. "You know, you're going to make a great mom someday."

Robin's eyes widened slightly. "Whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I don't even think I want kids."

EJ laughed and kissed her temple. "Neither do I. But I'm just saying, you'd be great."

Robin leaned into him, feeling a sense of comfort and love. "Thanks, EJ. That means a lot."

As the evening wore on, Max and Ben were having a blast, their laughter and cheers filling the room. Robin and EJ were settled on the couch, enjoying their cozy time together.

The sound of the front door opening caught their attention. Brooke walked in, her face glowing with the afterglow of a successful date. Max's eyes lit up when he saw her, and he rushed over with open arms.

"Mommy!" Max exclaimed, reaching up to be picked up.

Brooke scooped him up with a warm smile. "Hey, Max! Did you have a good time?"

Max nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Uncle Ben is good at games!"

Brooke laughed, glancing around the room. "Looks like you two had fun too. How'd it go?"

EJ stood, walking over to his sister. "Hey, Brooke. How was your date?"

Brooke grinned, her eyes twinkling. "It was great. He's a nice guy. We had a good time."

Robin stood up as well, brushing her hands off. "I hope we didn't make it too complicated with Max."

Brooke raised an eyebrow playfully. "Oh, I'm sure you were fine. I was just worried you might be a little scared of him."

Max nodded, holding up his arms. "Up, Mommy!"

Brooke lifted him with a warm smile. "All right, let's go home."

Robin shot her a mock glare. "Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence."

Brooke laughed, stepping closer to Robin. "I'm just teasing. Max seemed to really like you."

Robin smiled, feeling a little more at ease. "Well, I'm glad he did."

Max, still in Brooke's arms, reached out to Robin with a big grin. "Bye, Wobin!"

Robin laughed, waving at him. "Bye, Max. See you soon!"

Brooke set Max down and gave him a gentle nudge toward his toys. "Alright, buddy, let's get you ready for bed."

EJ and Robin followed Brooke and Max to the door. Brooke turned to EJ with a wink. "Thanks for watching him tonight. It was really helpful."

EJ smiled, giving her a quick hug. "No problem. We enjoyed it."

As Brooke and Max left, Robin and EJ were left standing by the door, feeling a mix of satisfaction and relief. Robin turned to EJ, her expression content.

As Brooke and Max left, Robin turned to EJ with a mischievous smile. "So, now that we've got the place to ourselves, what should we do?"

EJ's eyes lit up with amusement. "Well, considering how much fun we had earlier, I think we should take advantage of our private time."

Robin raised an eyebrow, her smile widening. "Are you suggesting we get back to what we were doing before?"

EJ grinned, taking her hand and guiding her towards his room. "Something like that."

As they made their way to EJ's room, Ben teasingly made a thrusting motion.

"Have fun you two." He winked, going back to his game.

EJ threw a ball at his roommate, before Robin followed him inside and locked the door.

———

Marshall, EJ, Ted, and Barney were gathered at MacLaren's, discussing Marshall's new romantic interest. Marshall seemed resolute, despite the skepticism from his friends.

"Guys, I'm not going to stop dating her just because you think she has the crazy eyes," Marshall said, his tone firm.

EJ leaned forward, a concerned look on his face. "Marshall, after what you just described about this mysterious woman, she sounds like she has the crazy eyes."

Barney nodded in agreement. "You can keep going out with her, but you're gonna regret it. One time, I met a girl at this very bar. I saw that she had the crazy eyes... But I ignored it. And then, sure enough."

Girl's Bathroom

A girl with wild eyes looked at Barney with an intense expression.

"Barney, can I ask you a question?"

Barney responded confidently. "Anything."

"Would you like to have a threesome?"

Barney's eyes widened with excitement. "Of course."

"Great. It'll be you, me, and Mr. Weasels."

Barney's excitement turned to confusion as she pulled out a stuffed weasel, placing it on a chair to watch.

End of Flashback

Ted looked at Barney, curiosity piqued. "So, did you do it?"

Barney grimaced. "No. It ended up being just a twosome with the third one watching from a chair."

EJ raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Which one were you?"

Barney shifted uncomfortably. "I'd rather not say."

EJ took a deep breath, ready to share his own experience. "You know, I had a similar situation once. I met this girl, Sofia, at a club. She was stunning and seemed completely normal at first."

Marshall leaned in, intrigued. "What happened?"

EJ continued, "We went out a few times, and everything seemed great. But then, one night, she invited me over to her place. We were having a good time, and then she said she wanted to show me something."

Sofia's apartment

Sofia led EJ to her bedroom, where she opened a closet filled with porcelain dolls, each one meticulously dressed and positioned.

"Meet my friends."

EJ tried to smile, though his discomfort was evident. "Uh, nice collection."

Sofia's eyes glinted with an unsettling intensity. "They're not just a collection. They talk to me."

The Bar

EJ shook his head at the memory. "I made an excuse and got out of there as fast as I could. She called me nonstop for weeks after that."

Ted laughed, shaking his head. "Man, that's intense."

Barney smirked. "See, Marshall? Crazy eyes. It's a real thing."

———

Marshall brought Brooke upstairs to the apartment, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.

"So, do just you and Ted live here or does Swarley live here, too?" She asked with a playful smile.

Marshall chuckled. "Nah, Swarley has his own place." A noise interrupted their conversation, and Marshall looked around, puzzled. "What was that?"

Brooke raised an eyebrow. "Not sure. You got any pets?"

Marshall shook his head, handing her a beer. "Nope, but here you go. Two pumpkin beers. Just kidding, they're regular beers." He frowned, noticing a broken picture frame. "This picture is broken. Did you just smash this?"

Brooke took the beer, shaking her head. "No. Why would I do that?"

Marshall sighed, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, I'm just trying to get used to this. I haven't been single for a long time."

Brooke gave him a reassuring smile. "I get it. It's tough. My own husband left me and Max, so I know what you're going through."

Marshall nodded, appreciating her understanding. "Yeah, it's been an adjustment."

Their conversation flowed more easily after that, as they found common ground and shared stories. Just as they were beginning to relax, an unexpected interruption occurred.

Lily suddenly jumped out from behind the couch, her arms flailing. "Stooooop! Hi. I'm Lily." She paused, recognizing Brooke. "Wait, Brooke?"

Brooke's eyes widened in surprise. "Lily! Hi! What are you doing here?"

Marshall looked from Brooke to Lily, bewildered. "Yeah, what are you doing here?"

Lily, clearly flustered, tried to compose herself. "Stooooop! You're dating EJ's sister?"

Marshall's jaw dropped, and Brooke glanced at him, a hint of amusement in her eyes. This night was turning out to be much more eventful than either of them had anticipated.

———

3 Days Earlier

"What's up, Swarlz?" Robin called out to Barney with a mischievous grin.

Barney's face turned serious. "No. Okay? No. No more. I will not let this become a thing. It's over. No more Swarley. No Swarlz. No more Swar-lay. No more Swar... wait for it... ley. No more Bob Swarley, man. No more. No! It's over. Do you understand?"

Robin and Lily exchanged amused glances. "Yes," they said in unison.

"Thank you," Barney said, his tone final as he left the bar. Unbeknownst to him, there was a sign on his back that read "Call me Swarley."

Robin smirked. "Nice."

Lily turned to Robin, her expression shifting to one of mild annoyance. "Why didn't you call me?"

Robin looked confused. "Was I supposed to call you?"

Lily nodded emphatically. "Yes, about the whole Marshall-dating-another-girl thing."

Robin shrugged. "You said you were fine with it."

"Yeah, in front of EJ and Ted, but then I shot you a look," Lily explained.

Robin furrowed her brow. "What look?"

Lily demonstrated, giving an exaggerated expression.

Robin shook her head. "That doesn't seem like a look."

Lily insisted, "Yes it is. It means, 'I'm upset, call me later.'"

Robin still seemed unsure. "You should have pulled me aside and told me what the look meant."

Lily sighed in frustration. "If I pulled you aside, I wouldn't need the look."

"Well, maybe if it was a more distinctive look..." Robin suggested.

Lily waved her hand dismissively. "Okay, the look isn't important. What's important is that I can't stand the idea of Marshall dating another woman. I mean, what if he falls in love with her?"

Robin tried to reassure her. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, apparently she has crazy eyes."

Lily's curiosity was piqued. "What's that?"

Robin explained, "Apparently, a thing women have that guys can see and it tells them that the girl's crazy."

Lily nodded, a look of understanding dawning on her face. "Oh, kind of like how you never want to date a guy with perfect fingernails?"

Just then, Carl called out from the bar. "Phone call for Swarles Barkley?"

Robin took the phone, suppressing a laugh. "Hey, Ted. No, he's not here. Good one, though, remember that one." She hung up and turned back to Lily.

"Jerk nails. Exactly."

Lily sighed, still looking concerned. "Well, did anyone say whether she was good-looking? I mean, 'cause if I knew she was ugly, then maybe I wouldn't be so freaked out."

Robin shook her head. "I don't think anyone mentioned it. But, Lily, you can't worry about that. Marshall's just dating. It doesn't mean anything serious."

Lily leaned back, still looking troubled. "I hope you're right."

———

Now

Robin leaned in, her eyes wide. "EJ's sister? I'm so sorry. Which one?"

Lily sighed, looking a bit resigned. "Brooke."

Robin's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, she's hot. And a lawyer. I'm so sorry."

Lily waved it off. "No, it's fine. It just makes things easier."

Robin's mind raced. Did EJ even know Marshall was seeing his sister? This could get interesting.

Lily leaned in conspiratorially. "Now that I know she's a threat, all I have to do is keep Marshall from ever seeing her again. Okay, I have two plans, you can help me choose. Plan A) remember that time Marshall and I had sex in the bathroom? Oops, I got knocked up."

Robin shook her head, trying not to laugh. "Lily."

Lily grinned mischievously. "Okay, plan B) is called 'Brooke's Accident.'"

Robin's eyes widened. "Just stop."

Lily looked puzzled. "What?"

Robin put a hand on her friend's arm. "Lily, you can't do any of those things. If you two are ever gonna get back together, you have to let him work out whatever this is."

Lily sighed, nodding. "I know. You're right."

Robin smiled reassuringly. "Now, come on, EJ asked us to be upstairs at 6:00. Some surprise for Barney."

Lily perked up a bit. "Barney?"

Robin rolled her eyes playfully. "Uh, Swarley."

As they headed upstairs, the atmosphere was charged with a mix of excitement and anticipation. They found EJ and Ted already there, preparing something that was hidden under a large cloth on the table.

EJ looked up and grinned. "Perfect timing, ladies."

Ted nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we have something special planned for our friend Swarley."

Robin chuckled. "He's gonna hate us."

EJ shrugged. "Maybe, but it'll be worth it."

Soon, they heard Barney's familiar footsteps approaching. When he entered the room, he was greeted by the sight of his friends standing around the table with mischievous grins.

Barney eyed them suspiciously. "What's going on?"

Barney's eyes widened as the cloth was pulled away, revealing a large, custom-made "Swarley" nameplate. The letters were stylishly done in gold, with a small crown above the "S" and a pair of sunglasses hanging from the "L."

Barney looked both baffled and amused. "You've got to be kidding me."

EJ grinned. "We figured it was time to embrace the legend of Swarley. This is your new desk nameplate."

Barney shook his head in disbelief, but a smirk played on his lips. "Seriously? You guys went all out for this."

EJ clapped Barney on the back, "We told you man, this is never going to go away."

Barney groaned, but had to admit the desk plate looked pretty awesome.

———

The apartment was buzzing with casual chatter as Ted, Lily, Barney, and Robin gathered in the living room. Ted, who was fiddling with the stereo, glanced up as Barney entered the room with a dramatic flourish.

"Hey, guys," Ted greeted them.

"Hey," Lily responded, eyes scanning the room for Marshall. "Where's Marshall?"

"Oh, he's getting a haircut," Ted explained.

Lily's expression brightened. "Oh, for his date. Good for him. Hope he has a good time tonight."

Barney, leaning against the bar, shrugged off Lily's concern. "Relax, you've got nothing to worry about. The girl's crazy."

EJ, who had been casually observing, added, "She's got the crazy eyes. You'll be fine, Lil."

Robin's eyes widened at the revelation, her mind racing as she realized EJ didn't know that Marshall was dating his sister. The potential fallout was clear.

"Thanks!" Lily replied, though her smile was tight.

Barney continued, "He'll just have wild monkey sex with her five times, max, and be done with her."

The room grew momentarily quiet as Lily's thoughts turned dark. If EJ found out, the situation would definitely spiral.

"Thanks again," Lily said, forcing a lighter tone.

Ted, seizing the opportunity to break the tension, turned on the stereo. "I just wanted to listen to a little music, that's all."

The radio speaker crackled to life with an unexpected announcement. "And this next one's going out to Swarley. All your friends know you miss Barney, but he's gone, and you got to accept that, baby. And, Swarley, you're gonna be a better woman for it. Here's 'I Am Woman' by Helen Reddy."

Barney's face lit up with a mockingly appreciative grin. "Ha-ha! Now I'm a woman. I love it!" He then got thoughtful. "You know, I was thinking about this whole new name thing last night, and you know what I realized? I like it."

Robin looked puzzled. "You like being called Swarley?"

Barney nodded vigorously. "Are you kidding? I want you to call me that."

Ted, clearly amused, prodded, "Do you really think this is gonna work?"

Barney, slightly defensive, replied, "Do I think what's gonna work?"

Ted, with a hint of mischief, pushed, "I'm talking about the name. Do you think it's going to stick?"

Barney, with an almost defiant tone, said, "I'm just saying, I love my new name, so please only call me that from now on."

Ted grinned, "Call you what?"

Barney grew exasperated. "You know, that—that—that new name that you've been calling me."

Ted persisted, "Say it."

Barney threw up his hands in frustration. "Why? You guys know what it is."

Ted's gaze was unrelenting. "Say the name."

Barney, clearly losing his patience, snapped, "No, I don't want to! I hate it! I hate it! It's not funny! It's never been funny! I've never done any... No!" With that, he stormed out of the apartment.

EJ, shaking his head in amusement, commented, "Man, he is really gonna lose it when all the magazine subscriptions start coming in."

Robin, unable to contain her own laughter, added, "I signed him up for People en Español, but I addressed it to Swarlos."

EJ chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, that's just perfect. I can't wait to see his reaction when he gets that mail."

Ted joined in, still chuckling. "Yeah, he's gonna be so confused."

EJ leaned back, a grin on his face. "You guys are cruel, but I have to admit, it's pretty funny."

———

Back in the Apartment, 3 Days Earlier

Marshall stared at Lily, his confusion and frustration clear. "Lily... Lily, what the hell are you doing?"

Lily, looking flustered and a bit tipsy, tried to gather her thoughts. "I don't know. I... I don't know what I'm doing. Oh, pumpkin beer, that was a good one. I'm just... I'm gonna go. I... I'm so sorry. Enjoy the rest of your date."

Brooke, standing beside Marshall, offered a polite but puzzled, "Bye."

Marshall watched as Lily stumbled out of the building and onto the steps, her demeanor betraying her inner turmoil. He followed her outside, catching up just as she was about to descend the stairs.

"Lily, what the hell..." he started again, his voice a mix of irritation and hurt.

Lily turned to face him, her eyes reflecting a mix of regret and embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I only snuck up there because... I was curious."

Marshall's expression softened, though he was still clearly annoyed. "Lily, you broke up with me and moved to San Francisco. I'm trying to move on. Brooke is pretty cool, and she's someone I'm interested in. I want to be friends, but you're making this more complicated than it should be."

Lily's face fell, realizing how her actions had affected him. "I didn't mean to make things harder. I just... I didn't know she was your date."

Marshall sighed. "Well, now you know. And I'm trying to make a new start. I'm going back upstairs to Brooke. Goodnight, Lily."

He turned to leave, but Lily's voice stopped him. "Marshall, you don't want things to be complicated, but you're dating one of your best friend's sisters. And he doesn't even know."

Marshall paused, his back still turned to her. "Yeah, well, that's not something I'm ready to deal with right now. I just want to enjoy my date. Goodnight, Lily."

He walked back into the building, leaving Lily standing alone on the steps, her thoughts racing as she realized the complexity of the situation she had unintentionally stepped into.