Ted entered the bustling bar, greeted by a chorus of playful remarks about his shirt.

"Nice shirt!" Robin exclaimed with a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Yeah, right? Right?" Ted responded eagerly, clearly pleased with his outfit choice for the evening.

"Very snazzy, my friend," EJ chimed in, nodding approvingly.

"Look at those colors! Green and brown together at last!" Lily added with her usual flair for comedic commentary.

Marshall, ever supportive, joined in, "Hot top, Bro, is it new?"

"That's the crazy part," Ted replied animatedly. "I've had this shirt for, like, six years... Until this morning, I wasn't into it at all, but now it's like my tastes have changed."

Barney, always ready with a quip, interjected, "Booger."

"Ha, booger," EJ echoed with a smirk.

Robin rolled her eyes playfully at EJ's comment. "Yes, hello, Barney," Ted acknowledged, brushing off Barney's playful antics.

Barney then revealed his mischievous side. "Barney's offering me fifty bucks to say some stupid word on a live news report," Robin announced to the group.

"Not just some stupid word, 'Booger'," Barney clarified mischievously.

"But I'm not doing it. I am a journalist," Robin declared proudly.

EJ, ever the provocateur, challenged her in his usual teasing manner. "What? A journalist? You do the little fluff pieces at the end of the news. That's hardly journalism."

Robin defended herself confidently. "For your information, my boss is about to bump me up to the City Hall beat. So I'm not going to jeopardize my promotion by saying 'Booger' for fifty bucks."

EJ persisted, now upping the ante. "No, you're right. You shouldn't do that. Because now you're going to say 'Daddy.' For 200 bucks."

The suggestion took everyone by surprise, and Robin was clearly taken aback. "No way. I am a serious journalist. Not risking my promotion for that," she asserted firmly.

EJ continued to press, a playful glint in his eye. "Because you're scared," he teased.

"Nope," Robin countered, trying to hold her ground.

"Scared," EJ repeated with a smirk.

"Totally scared," Barney chimed in, adding fuel to the playful banter.

Robin, not one to back down, shot back at EJ with a teasing jab of her own. "Oh, I get it. You only want me to say it because you want me to call you that in bed."

EJ grinned mischievously, unfazed by Robin's retort. "Believe what you want. Two Benjamin Franklins for one word," he teased, leaning in closer to her.

Whispering into her ear, EJ added, "Welcome to my world, Scherbatsky."

Meanwhile, Ted, sipping his drink thoughtfully, interjected with a philosophical reflection. "Mmm... Whose bourbon is this?"

Lily, always ready to engage, replied with a hint of mystery, "Ooh, I don't know. It was here when we sat down."

Ted continued, contemplating aloud, "Point is, I seem to like bourbon now. I could have sworn I hated bourbon. First the shirt, now bourbon. I spent twenty-seven years making up my mind about things, right? The movie I saw once in Hayden, the city I'll never go back to because it was raining the day I visited. Maybe it's time to start forming some second impressions..."

Marshall, ever supportive and insightful, added his own perspective, "You're finally gonna watch 'Goonies' again? Slow love, Chuck."

Ted chuckled at Marshall's comment, clarifying, "Not 'Goonies', guys. What if there's someone from my past who I thought was wrong for me at the time, but in fact, she, like my shirt, is actually a perfect fit?"

Barney, always the voice of cynicism and humor, chimed in with his own unique perspective. "Hold up, there are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: Breast. Implants."

Lily, always the voice of reason and wit, proposed thoughtfully, "That's not a bad idea. Let's think, Ted's greatest hits... What about that girl, Steph?"

As Lily enthusiastically suggested Natalie, Ted's face lit up with recognition and nostalgia. "Natalie!"

Marshall joined in, mirroring Lily's excitement. "Natalie!"

EJ, eager to participate, added his own recollection. "I remember her!"

Curious, Robin interjected, "Who's Natalie?"

EJ, always ready to tease Ted, explained with a smirk, "One of Ted's many, many exes."

Ted acknowledged the truth of EJ's statement with a nostalgic sigh. "Man, I haven't seen her in like three years!"

Robin, naturally inquisitive, probed further. "Well, why'd you guys break up?"

Ted considered his words carefully before answering. "I just wasn't looking for a big commitment at the time. Of course, now a big commitment doesn't seem so bad... maybe I should call her? What do you guys think?"

Barney, ever the provocateur, dramatically declared, "You dumped a porn star? Friendship over!" He stood up dramatically, adding a touch of theatrical flair to his declaration. "Friendship over!"

EJ, sensing a segue, turned the conversation back to their earlier banter. "So, Robin. You never did say whether or not you'll take the challenge."

Robin pondered EJ's proposition for a moment, weighing the risks and rewards in her mind. After a brief pause, she flashed a mischievous grin.

"I'll do it," Robin declared, her competitive spirit shining through. "But you better have that $200 ready."

"Done."

——

Mr. Adams looked up from his desk as Robin entered the office. "Come in," he said, wrapping up a phone call. "Alright, I'll get back to you." He hung up the phone and gave Robin a nod. "I need you to cover a story. It's down at City Hall."

Robin's eyes widened with excitement. "City Hall? Oh, my god."

This was not the big break Robin was looking for. At all.

"So, Daddy, next time you're passing City Hall, make sure and stop by New York's oldest hotdog cart. Today, a delicious hotdog will cost you $2.50, but back when the stand first opened in 1955, you could get one for only a nipple." She paused, then continued, "Reporting live, Robin Scherbatsky, Metro News One."

The cameraman gave her a confused look, but Robin reluctantly maintained her professional demeanor.

While at the same time, internally saying profanities to the wonderful individuals at Metro News One.

——

Robin burst into the apartment, her face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and disbelief. "I said 'nipple' on the news! And 'daddy'! That was so unprofessional!"

Lily chuckled, trying to comfort her friend. "At least it's better than booger." She laughed again. "Booger."

EJ grinned and reached into his pocket, pulling out two crisp 100 dollar bills. "Well, I'm a man of my word." He handed the money to Robin. "Didn't know you had it in you, Scherbatsky."

Robin smirked, taking the bills. "You'd be surprised what I'm capable of," she retorted, raising an eyebrow.

EJ leaned in slightly, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh, now I'm intrigued."

Just then, Barney entered the apartment, exuding his usual confidence. "There she is. Hey, is it cold in here? Because I can kind of see Robin's nickels. Now for your next challenge..."

Robin cut him off, raising her hand. "No, there is not going to be another challenge. I don't care how much you offer me."

EJ nodded in agreement. "Yeah, as much as I enjoy embarrassing Robin on live TV, I don't want to get her fired."

Robin shot him a look. "Thanks, I guess."

Barney wasn't deterred. "Oh, search your soul, Robin. You and I both know this wasn't about the money. Sure, Metro News One pays you jack, and hey, a little green salad on the side's good for you, me, and Mr. McGee."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Seriously, who talks like that?"

Barney continued, "What baby really likes is the thrill of pulling one over on those bean counters who underappreciate you and still haven't promoted you. And for two more hundy-sticks, baby's going to look in the camera and say this..." He leaned in and whispered something in Robin's ear.

Lily made a face. "Eew. I'm just assuming."

Robin sighed, clearly conflicted. "I gotta get back to work. See ya."

Lily waved. "Bye."

EJ gave a casual salute. "See ya."

Robin paused at the door and looked back at Barney. "Baby's going to think about it."

As she left, EJ couldn't help but feel a small pang of jealousy watching Barney and Robin's interaction. But he quickly brushed it aside, knowing Barney was just a playboy.

Ted emerged from his bedroom, holding a piece of paper triumphantly. "Found it! I found Natalie's number."

Lily gave him a playful smile. "Hey, Ted. Nice shirt! Is it yesterday already?"

Ted grinned, ignoring the jab. "Thank you. I am calling her. This is crazy—I haven't talked to her in, like, three years. I wonder if she even remembers me."

——

Ted stood in the living room, bewildered. "Why would Natalie hang up on me?"

Lily crossed her arms, giving Ted a knowing look. "I don't know!"

Barney interjected, "Did you sleep with her sister?"

Ted shook his head. "No."

Barney pressed on, "Sleep with her mom?"

Ted's eyes widened. "No."

EJ, lounging on the couch, added with a grin, "Sleep with her best friend? I was watching a show about that."

Ted sighed. "Nope."

Barney rolled his eyes. "I'm losing interest in your story."

Lily stepped closer, scrutinizing Ted. "Well, you must have done something. Why did you guys break up?"

Marshall, leaning against the kitchen counter, chimed in, "He wasn't ready for a commitment."

Lily's eyebrows shot up. "Uh-huh."

Ted squirmed under her gaze. "And her birthday might have been coming up."

Lily's expression turned from curious to incredulous. "Uh-huh..."

Ted winced. "Okay, so I didn't wanna get a boyfriend-level gift for a girl I was just about to break up with."

Lily's eyes blazed with anger. "So you dumped her right before her birthday?"

Ted raised his hands defensively. "No, I didn't dump her... right before her birthday."

Marshall's face fell. "Uh-oh."

EJ shook his head, a look of mock horror on his face. "Yeah, you're a dead man."

Lily advanced on Ted, jabbing her finger with every word. "Never...break...up...with...a...girl...on...her...birthday!"

Ted backed up, tripping over his words. "LILY WAIT, THE SHIRT! I KNOW, IT WAS A MISTAKE!"

Lily continued her assault. "Well, did she cry her eyes out?"

Ted stammered. "I don't know."

Lily's eyes narrowed. "How do you n...Oh, you didn't!"

EJ echoed Lily's disbelief. "You did not."

Lily's fury intensified. "On...her...answering...machine!? And...on...her...birthday? Oh... who... breaks... up... with... somebody... on... their... answering... machine... on... their... birthday?!"

Marshall nodded sagely. "Yeah, dude, email!"

EJ added, "Texting is the better method. Not on the machine."

Lily glared at them. "Not exactly the point I was trying to make, guys. That is a terrible way to break up with someone."

EJ did a theatrical 180. "You awful human being. Even I'm not that much of a scumbag," he said mockingly.

Marshall tried to defend Ted. "Okay, in my client's defense, is there an unterrible way to break up with somebody? No. Personally, I'd rather hear the bad news on an answering machine than face the humiliation in person." Lily picked up her phone. "It's the least painful way you can do it. Who are you calling?"

Lily dialed and spoke into the phone. "Hi, Marshall, it's Lily. We're not going to have sex for at least a month. But you're awesome. Okay, bye-bye." She hung up and smiled sweetly at her husband.

EJ smirked. "For real though, that was a big mistake, Ted. You should've done it in person."

Lily nodded vigorously. "Thank you."

Barney leaned in, always looking for the silver lining. "Desperate 'Please-don't-leave-me' sex is amazing."

Ted sighed, rubbing his temples. "Okay, it was childish and stupid. I just...I didn't want to see her cry."

Lily's eyes softened slightly, but her tone remained firm. "Well guess what? She cried! You just didn't have the sack to face those tears."

Ted took a deep breath, trying to steel himself. "That was me then, okay? This is the new, old shirt-wearing, sack-having Ted. I'm gonna make this right."

EJ raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think she's going to take you back just because you're wearing a new shirt? It can't be that much of an influence."

Barney clapped Ted on the back, already bored. "You know what else? My younger sister just got married and I'm about to turn thirty-sex. Fantastic."

Ted took a deep breath and nodded to himself, determination setting in. "I'm calling Natalie again. I owe her that much."

EJ leaned back, watching Ted dial. "Good luck, man. You're going to need it."

——

Robin stood in front of the camera, her expression a mix of professionalism and discomfort. "An occasion that was supposed to be joyous suddenly turned tragic when Ethel and Sadie Marsolis, New York's oldest twins, suddenly passed away on this, the eve of their one hundredth birthday." She took a deep breath, knowing what was coming next. "I'm a dirty, dirty girl," she said, giving a theatrical slap to her behind. "Ow. Reporting live, Robin Scherbatsky, Metro News One."

The camera operator muttered something under his breath, shaking his head.

The producer walked up, looking slightly amused. "Joel Adams wants to see you in his office," he said, then turned and left.

——

Robin walked into Mr. Adams' office, her heart pounding. She tried to keep her cool. "Before you say anything, I just want to say, I really like working here at Metro News One."

Mr. Adams looked up from his desk, a puzzled expression on his face. "That's great. So my dog keeps going," he made three consecutive dog scoffs, "like this. What do you think that means?"

Robin blinked, taken aback. "What?"

Mr. Adams repeated, "Well, you have dogs, right? What do you think that means?"

Robin struggled to process the absurdity of the conversation. "Take him to the vet?"

Mr. Adams' face lit up. "Genius. That's one I owe you."

Robin hesitated, then asked, "Was that all?"

Mr. Adams nodded, smiling. "Yeah."

Robin got up to leave, but then stopped, curiosity getting the better of her. "And nothing about the twins' story?"

Mr. Adams gave her a thumbs-up. "Oh, yeah, great job on that one. New York loves you. You're a superstar. Bye-bye."

And that's when Robin realized that nobody, not a single person watches Metro News One.

——

Natalie stood up, gathering her things. "Well, I better run, I have my Krav Maga class in half an hour."

Ted grinned, watching her. "Krav Maga, how cool is it that she does Krav Maga?"

Natalie smiled and leaned down to kiss Ted on the cheek. "Thanks, honey."

Ted watched her leave, a thoughtful look on his face. "Hmm..."

Natalie waved to the group. "Bye, guys."

As Natalie left, Ben turned to Ted, curiosity in his eyes. "Dude, what's Krav Maga?"

Ted shrugged. "I have no idea. Some kind of yoga?"

Barney chimed in, smirking. "You know, that Natalie... she's good times."

Marshall nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, she's like the best girl you've dated in years."

Lily agreed. "Yeah, Ted, hold on to that one."

Ted sighed deeply. "Yeah, I have to break up with her."

Ben looked incredulous. "What? After all of that?"

Marshall echoed Ben's sentiment. "I don't get it, man, Natalie is awesome."

Ted nodded, looking conflicted. "I know, she's terrific, but I have to break up with her."

Lily gave Ted a light punch with each word. "Why... couldn't... you... leave... that... poor... girl... alone?"

Ben shook his head, but his voice was gentle. "Lily, leave the poor guy alone. But for real, man, come on."

Ted looked miserable. "I know! I hate this. These past three weeks have been great. I should be in love with her, but I'm not feeling that thing. It's ineffable."

Marshall looked impressed. "Ineffable... good word. So when are you going to do it?"

Barney leaned back, looking relaxed. "She's probably on the subway by now. You could call her Voice Mail. Beep, dumped. Click. Done!"

Ted shook his head. "I have to do this face-to-face. I just... I don't know what I'm going to say!"

Ben smirked. "You could say you're falling in love with her."

Ted shot Ben a glare. "Not funny, Ben."

Marshall offered a suggestion. "How about 'I'm not ready for a commitment.'"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, that's such a cliché."

Ben shrugged. "It's not a cliché, it's a classic. It's the stairway to heaven of breakup lines."

Lily looked exasperated. "Well, I think Natalie deserves better."

Marshall nodded in agreement. "Better. There's no better in breaking up. There's only less awful. A cliché's a cliché for a reason. It's comforting."

Ted groaned. "It doesn't matter, I already told her I am ready for a commitment, so... oh, my god... there's no way out... I'm going to have to marry her."

Ben chuckled. "Well, at least you'll get what you've always wanted. Marriage. Just not in the way you'd expect."

Marshall looked serious. "No, no. We're going to get you out of this. Okay, how about... 'It's not you it's me'?"

Barney snapped his fingers. "Mm! Six words! 'You... look... fat... in... those... jeans...' You're free to go."

Lily shot Barney a disgusted look. "Ted, have you considered telling her the truth?"

Barney, Ben, and Marshall paused before sharing a laugh.

Barney shook his head, still chuckling. "Seriously, honey, men are working here."

Ben wiped a tear from his eye. "Telling the truth. That's a good one, Lily. So good."

Lily glared at them. "Ted, what is the truth? Why do you want to break up with her?"

Ted looked thoughtful. "The truth? She's not the one."

Lily nodded. "So, tell her that."

Marshall looked horrified. "Oh, you can't tell her that. That's horrible."

Lily was indignant. "Why? What is so horrible about that?"

Ben shrugged. "Nobody wants to hear the truth. Ever."

Ted looked puzzled. "Yeah, what is so horrible about that? 'She's not the one.' Why is that such a heart-breaking thing to hear? The chances of one person being another person's 'The one' are like six billion to one."

Lily sighed. "Yeah, you have better chances of winning the lottery."

Ted nodded, still deep in thought. "Exactly. It's just not fair to keep pretending when I know she's not the one."

Barney, smirking, leaned back in his chair. "And if all else fails, just remember: 'You... look... fat... in... those... jeans...'"

Ted shook his head, laughing despite himself. "Thanks, Barney. Real helpful."

——

EJ sauntered into MacLaren's, a triumphant grin on his face. He approached the bar and leaned in to get Carl's attention.

"Hey, Carl! Guess who just closed the biggest deal of his career?" he announced with palpable excitement.

Carl, always ready with a supportive smile for his regulars, replied, "Congrats, EJ! This one's on the house." He poured EJ a beer and slid it over the bar.

"Thanks, man," EJ said, taking the beer and turning to survey the room. His eyes landed on Robin, who was sitting alone in a booth, staring into her drink with a look of frustration.

With a casual air, EJ walked over to her. "Room for one more?" he asked.

Robin rolled her eyes but gestured for him to sit down. EJ slid into the booth, placing his beer on the table.

"Why the long face, News Lady?" he inquired, noticing her glum expression.

Robin sighed heavily. "I just wrapped up a live newscast by honking my own boobs. Even my boss doesn't watch Metro News One."

EJ chuckled. "Damn, the one day I miss the news."

Robin launched into a rant, venting her frustration about her job. "I feel like I'm wasting my time. There's nothing professional about my workplace, and it's like no one takes me seriously."

EJ's usual playful demeanor softened. "Sorry you had to deal with that. I get how you feel."

Robin looked skeptical. "How could you? You're successful and you're the same age as me."

EJ leaned back, taking a sip of his beer. "You know, I dropped out of college after my sophomore year. I was studying psychology but realized it was a huge waste of time. When I came back to New York, I didn't have many options. Spent a couple of years working at a bar before I got into real estate with a friend of my dad's. It took a lot of work to get to where I am now."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Really? Mr. Smooth-Talker had to sling drinks?"

EJ laughed. "Yeah, and let me tell you, my psychology classes came in handy dealing with drunk customers. But seriously, it wasn't easy. Had to hustle every day. Yeah, your job probably sucks right now but if you keep at it, you'll do all that professional news stuff at some point. By the way, don't drop out. It's not for everyone."

He paused, giving her a genuine smile. "Sorry I gave you so much crap earlier. That's just the type of guy I am. But hopefully, you'll get used to it."

Robin smiled back, her mood lightening. "You aren't so bad, Bennett."

EJ raised his glass. "You too, Scherbatsky."

They clinked their glasses together, before going back into conversation.

——

As everyone gathered around the TV in MacLaren's, the atmosphere buzzed with anticipation. Robin was on screen, interviewing Henry, New York's oldest handsome cab driver, for a segment on Metro News One.

"Henry, as New York's oldest handsome cab driver, you've seen quite a lot," Robin prompted, holding her microphone steady.

"On your past sixteen years on the job, what is your most exciting memory?" Robin's voice echoed through the bar as Henry began to answer.

Barney leaned forward eagerly, his eyes glued to the screen. "Ahh! This is it," he declared to the group.

Lily chuckled softly, shaking her head in amusement. "Oh, boy, here we go."

EJ, who had joined the group, looked on with curiosity. "What's going on?"

Barney gestured dramatically to the TV. "Everyone, everyone... If I may direct your attention to the television. You're about to see something... amazing."

Back on the TV screen, Henry continued his story. "And then, in '72, Mickey Mantle rode my cab for the fourth time," he recounted with a nostalgic grin. "But the most exciting moment, that would have to be this one, right now."

Robin appeared genuinely touched. "What?"

"Look at me, I'm on TV!" Henry exclaimed joyfully. "I never thought I'd have my story told. Thank you, Miss Robin Scherbatsky."

The bar erupted into cheers and applause as Henry expressed his gratitude to Robin. Meanwhile, outside on West 53rd Street at the horse stable, Robin and Henry wrapped up their interview.

"It's an honor to tell your story, Henry," Robin replied warmly.

Back inside MacLaren's, the TV continued to broadcast Robin's live segment. She turned back to the camera with a smile. "You know, Metro News One may not be number one in viewership, but this reporter takes pride in..."

Suddenly, Robin's words were interrupted by a loud crash and commotion off-screen. The bar fell silent as Robin's voice filled the room, her tone shifting from professional to distressed.

"Whoa!! Oh! Oh, my god! I'm covered in horse crap! It's in my hair!! Oh my, ow... ow my knee," Robin's distressed cries echoed through the TV speakers.

EJ turned to Barney with a mix of shock and disbelief. "You planned that?"

Barney shook his head, a wide grin spreading across his face. "No, EJ. That was beyond my wildest dreams," he replied, clearly enjoying the unexpected turn of events as Robin's distress continued to play out on screen.