Sometimes the decisions that seem the simplest are the most difficult, or the ones that end up being the most problematic. It's not because they're easy to make, but because it's the heart that guides us and, as they say, no decision is better made with the heart. What to have for breakfast: toast or cereal? The black dress or the red one? Neuro, pediatrics, cardio...? Risk your own life to save someone else's or get out of a place while you still can?

It's a nice day in Seattle. The sun is shining high in the sky, there are no clouds in sight and there's a nice morning breeze that means nothing bad is going to happen. It's a quiet day, or as quiet as it can be for a resident, at least, which means she hasn't received any emergency or 911 pages and no one has needed her attention at the last minute, so Maddox allows herself to walk leisurely on her way to the hospital. It's been a few days since her incident with Bailey, and it's not that she doesn't want to go back to work, but things with Addison have been a bit tense lately, and she knows she has gynecology service today —vagina squad, as Cristina calls it, often manages to cheer her up— so she's not too excited.

Maddox doesn't know how long she's had the feeling in her chest that she's avoiding Addison. She doesn't blame her for what happened, far from it, because the redhead had nothing to do with her family's overreaction, but she does feel a little embarrassed that Addison had to witness such a scene. Knowing the attending, Maddox feels that the redhead will feel guilty, and Maddox has been so mentally unstable for the past few days that she's barely been able to comfort her if the talk were to take place.

So avoiding each other in the halls of Seattle Grace, sleeping in hospital beds while the other was at home or secretly asking Bailey to switch her service to neurology or pediatrics has been the easy option, but not the one dictated by the heart.

"Look, I'm making myself clear," Mark tries again, opening his arms. Maddox has to pull his arm away so his coffee doesn't splash on her clothes. "Sorry. You know I would never ask a favor like this. I just need a place to crash on while I leave the hotel and get my own place. They're taking all my stuff to the new apartment, I swear, it'll only be a couple of days, three maximum."

"I thought you were Callie's friend. Why don't you sleep on her couch?"

Mark stops dead in his tracks and turns his face to look at her, feigning disgust. "Thing number one: couch? I never said couch. Thing number two: she lives with Yang and is now close friends with Hahn. That woman hates me and I don't understand why. I never said anything to her."

"You tried to sleep with her. You try to sleep with everyone," Maddox reasons, and Mark shrugs, partially admitting it. "What about Derek? Now that he's out of Mer's house, he might need a friend."

"Okay, if you hate me, say so. Derek's back living in that stupid trailer, which means taking the ferry, which means I don't get beauty sleep. Living in Derek's trailer also means having to sleep in his bed. With him," Mark frowns again. "He gets by on cans of food, showers in a square foot shower, fishes for fun and not to mention he's now dating that nurse Rose. I don't like Rose. Where do you want me to sleep, between those two lovebirds?"

"And you'd be okay with sleeping between Addison and me?"

"Well, I certainly wouldn't mind."

"I could be you daughter."

"You could be her daughter!" Mark counters. Maddox glares at him and Mark sighs for the umpteenth time. "I'm sorry. I've already paid the hotel bill and it's full because of the convention crap. You can't leave me alone on the street. I'm a city guy."

Maddox goes to retort something else, but realizes there's no one else left to suggest. She can't bring up Meredith's house as an option, because Alex, Izzie and Mer herself already live there, and because Mark doesn't have enough confidence in Meredith, given that she's his best friend's recent ex-partner. However, as she resumes her journey and crosses off names of possible candidates in her head, Maddox thinks: Mark Sloan is a renowned plastic surgeon, who has enough money to rent a night's hotel room at Seattle's finest, but there he is, with his baby eyes practically begging her for a place to stay.

"You're lonely," Maddox states, and Mark scoffs. "Admit it! Your best friends are dating people, Callie is living with Cristina, and you have no one else to talk to."

"Harsh."

"I'm sorry. Wait. Don't tell me I'm the only person you actually talk to. You've been dismissing every single option I've shared because you've already thought about them, but you haven't actually talked to them, have you?"

"I'm fond of you, okay?" admits Mark. "There you go. You're the only friend in Seattle who has time for me these days."

"You'd trade me for a rhino."

"You would too. That's what makes us friends, see? We accept each other. We know we're ambitious and we respect each other's abilities," Maddox arches his eyebrows, waiting for what Mark is getting at. "Okay. I can cook."

"What can you cook?"

"Marinated barbecue and honey ribs are my signature dishes."

"I'll talk to Addison."

"Yes!" Mark exclaims, clenching his fists in happiness. He extends a fist to bump it with Maddox, but seeing the girl's regretful grim expression he pulls back. "What? You haven't really been talking to her, have you?"

"Not really," Maddox admits. "I'm not that person, I don't run away from my problems. These last few days have been really hard for me, and I didn't feel strong enough to deal with the situation. She's tried many times, but I usually say I'm in a hurry or I really have to go. One of these days she's going to blow on me and she'll be absolutely right. She's been trying to help me, lend me a shoulder to cry on, and I've just been avoiding her. I'm a piece of shit, aren't I?"

Mark grimaces in what is intended to be a sardonic grimace. "Well, you haven't been up to it. You should make it up to her before you bring up the subject that I'm going to be in your guest room for some time."

"Some time? You said three days at the most."

"Look, Addison likes this place. Buy her a coffee, maybe some pastries too, and apologize. She's not the devil, she'll understand you've had crappy days."

Maddox pauses to look around the cafeteria, and hates to admit that Mark is right. "Okay, I hate when you're right. Because you usually are not and when you are you have this smug smile on your face. Go ahead and clock in, I'm having rounds with her so I can afford being a little late in exchange of breakfast."

"I like you so much, Mad Max," Mark smiles broadly. "I'll text you in case I see fire coming from her ears."

The resident rolls her eyes, but can't help but internally modulate her cheeks to keep from smiling. She likes Mark. She obviates in her head the detail that he hit on her the first time they met, deciding to focus on the fact that he seems like a male version of herself. Deep down, besides being an excellent surgeon, Mark cares about the people around him. Maddox is convinced that, aside from feeling lonely, Mark has decided to ask her so that Maddox doesn't feel lonely either, and the brunette decides that Mark moves up, at that moment, to her top 5 of people she can stand the most at this point in her life.

A few years ago it would have been clear to her who made up that ranking. In fact, there would have been almost no people to fill a top 5: her parents and her brother were more than enough. Now she feels them distant, almost non-existent, and there are people at Seattle Grace whom she has learned to love in a short time, people who protect her, who care for her and who are by her side unconditionally —as much as Cristina insults her taste for pediatrics and obstetrics, she knows she would lead an army if it meant protecting her.

"Next!" The barista yells, snapping her out of her reverie, but at the same time reaffirming it: first on the list is Addison, and she has to prove it.

"Can I get a cappuccino and a chocolate croissant? Actually, make it two: one chocolate and one butter. Thanks," Maddox holds the bill up to the boy, who smiles in response, and the girl realizes it's the last one left in her wallet. Money has been a little tight the last few weeks, especially since her departure from Meredith's house, where she was contributing to groceries for the household and nothing else. Now, with the apartment with Addison, she had to take care of everything on her minimal resident salary. She knows for sure that Addison would take over the household finances, but Maddox would feel too bad.

However, the issue of money is put on the back burner when an explosion is heard from the kitchen. Everyone turns in panic to check what has happened, even the barista leaves his chores to check what has exploded. Just as he opens the door, a flare bursts through the door, knocking the guy down, and then another explosion causes part of the cafeteria ceiling to fall.

"Has anyone seen Dr. Easton?" Addison Montgomery leans against the nurses' station, glancing at the charts of her upcoming patient information. Two of them are going to be discharged in the next few hours, and it would be a nice touch if Maddox were the one to do it —if she deigns to show up. Meredith appears by the elevator, her eyes fixed on some reports, and also because she seems to have seen Addison and is trying to avoid her, one way or another. "Have you seen Maddox? She should've come in at least fifteen minutes ago."

Meredith looks up, surprised, and glances at her watch. "Fifteen minutes? She's never late."

"That's why I'm asking. Did she spend the night at your house?"

"No, I think she was on call. She must've spent the night here and maybe she's slept in. I'm sure she's just in an on-call room. I'll page her."

"Okay, thanks. Tell her to page me if you see her."

Everything is spinning in Maddox's head. She's sitting on the floor, her back leaning against the counter where only seconds ago she picked up her coffee and croissants. All around her is dust, smashed furniture and she can swear she smells some smoke, though she doesn't know how close that is. She sees a boy lying on the floor, limp, and her heart begins to pound fiercely. Dylan.

Maddox loses control of herself. Her throat emits a guttural sound, mixing the anxiety she feels with the sobbing that is about to surface. If she concentrates hard enough she can see herself lying on the floor, her cheek brushing against the coldness of the tiles, the whitish walls of the hospital closing in on her and Dylan's body bursting into a thousand pieces as she can do nothing but lose consciousness. The sobs build up in her throat and she feels the need to get out of there as soon as possible, but her legs feel immobilized.

"Hey. Hey!" Someone taps her on the face, and Maddox holds back the urge to tell him that's the last thing to do to a person in pain. "You're awake. God, you're awake. Can you hear me? Your ear is bleeding. Are you hurt?"

"I—," Maddox wants to reply that she can't move, but realizes she can. Dylan's image is erased from her head, she is no longer in an operating room or a hallway, but in a coffee shop. The coffee shop Addison likes. She wiggles her hands, wiggles her legs, and wiggles all her fingers successfully. "I'm fine," she touches her ear and checks that she is indeed bleeding, so she decides to gently wipe the blood away with the goal of not doing any more damage. "What the hell happened?"

"I— I don't know. There was an explosion in the kitchen and then the ceiling came down on us, I think something blew up on the first floor. Are you okay? You looked like you were having a panic attack," the boy stares at her, looking for signs of it on her face, with concern, but Maddox denies, so the boy nods. "We have to leave right now. I called an ambulance and the police is on their way, but this is no longer safe. People fled the scene as soon as they heard the explosion, so what you see is what is left. I— I don't know what to do. The paramedics will know what to do, right?" The boy, no more than thirty years old, looks around in despair as at least three people lie unconscious in the part of the living room closest to the kitchen.

"I'm a doctor," Maddox mumbles, getting to her feet. "I'm Maddox, you?"

"Uh, Chase."

"Okay, Chase. I'm going to need you to grab all the cloths you can find and wet them. If you're feeling good, get close to those who have passed out and put the cloths on their burns. Nothing else, you hear me? Just water. Be gentle and tell me if they wake up."

Chase just nods, approaching the bar to collect all the clean cloths he sees in the drawers and cabinets. Maddox knows he's obeying and that he's okay when she sees him hop over the bar to approach two of the unconscious people. "What— What are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to try to find if there's anyone alive in the kitchen. Someone had to be in there while we were out here."

"But the explosion came from there. You can't go in there, it must be too unstable."

"Just to have a look, Chase. I know it must be—" a soft, almost non-existent groan causes her to stop in his tracks. Chase makes the pretense of speaking again, but Maddox interrupts him by raising her arm. There it is again. It's almost a plea of pain, a muffled sob among the ruins, and Maddox is unable to stand idly by.

"Wait," the boy stops her, realizing what she's going to do. "I hear sirens. Help is on their way. You shouldn't risk your wellbeing this way."

Maddox approaches the door, peeking through the small window that separates the kitchen from the cafeteria. She sees smoke and the occasional fallen beam, which prevents her from getting a good picture of the situation. However, hse hears someone coughing and the groans get a little louder. Maddox is aware that it is because she is closer, but even so she knows that she will not be able to leave there without checking to see if that person can be saved.

"I will just check on them. I promise I won't risk," Maddox nods earnestly toward Chase, who relents and returns to his task of pouring water on the burns of the cafeteria patrons.

"Okay," the boy agrees. "Go in there but tell me what you see."

"Will do," Maddox shouts from the other side of the door. "I see the first floor. There is no ceiling anymore in a part in here, but luckily it hasn't hit anybody. There's dust. There may be someone hurt on the first floor. I don't hear anything coming from there. I see wooden beams and the structure of the floor. No fire in here. Just a mess," Maddox mutters the last sentence to herself. However, as she leans to pass between two beams, a woman's body is trapped in that space, all her brunette hair now white with dust and ash, and her belly catches her attention. "A fucking mess."

"What?" Chase yells from outside.

"There is someone here, Chase! She's pregnant."

"Oh, fuck."

"How are you doing out there?"

"Uh, I've wet these people's wounds but they're not waking up. Should I check for a pulse? I don't even know how to do that."

"Put two fingers on their necks, just below their jaws. You should get a pulse from the carotid artery."

"Okay. Okay," Chase obeys, but as Maddox curses under her breath, because there's no way she's getting near that Jane Doe without entering the area herself that would trap her. Either she runs out, or she has to wait for backup to come and get that woman out of there. "I got something. It's not as strong as mine but there is something."

"That's great. You're doing great. Now I'm going to need you to go to the sink and wet cloths again. She's whimpering so she's probably in pain. I'm going to check if she's got any broken bones."

She gets no response from Chase, just hears the faucet in the sink, so Maddox thinks it's the perfect opportunity. She leans over to pass right between the two collapsed beams, careful not to cause any rumbling or another cave-in. However, nothing seems to go her way that day. Her foot catches on the rock and drags the wood with her, causing it to fall fully and diagonally, just the right position as to not crush them but not let them out of there either.

The noise is enough to make Chase even more alert and he leans against the door window. "What happened?!"

"It fell down," Maddox manages to say. It's not very nice air in there, and she knows she'll have to book it.

"I told you not to go in there! Fuck, okay, now what? Okay. She might need the cloths, right? And you will need to breathe. I can't see where you are now. Are you by the window?"

"No."

"Great. Don't move, then," Maddox bites her tongue to keep from retorting that she couldn't move even if she wanted to. She hears a thud and glass fall somewhere in the kitchen, and sees Chase's fist wrapped with a cloth go through the window opening. "I can't get in there but I can help from here, right? I'll try and pass you some cloths. How is she? Is she awake?"

"She's got a weak pulse but she's coming back to her senses. Her left arm is broken, she must've landed on it, and I will need to check the baby as soon as I can."

"They're here! Maddox, they're here!"

"Okay," Maddox smiles a little, trying to gather enough oxygen. "Okay. Tell them they have to come from the second floor of the building. There's no way they can get us out of the kitchen. They need pads. Also check her lungs for damage, immobilize her broken arm and check for internal bleeding. She's got a cut on her temple, tell Sloan to stitch her up good. Tell neuro to do an MRI and a CT or... Well, scratch that. Tell them to be fucking quick! The baby's coming."

"What's all this mess?" Mark wanders around the emergency room with his hands in his pockets. He has no operations scheduled for the rest of the morning so he takes the pleasure of resting and browsing, just in case something interesting falls into his lap.

"Didn't you hear?" One of the interns replies, almost alarmed, and Mark frowns at what looks like a sign of insolence. "There's been an incident in a cafeteria. Stewart and 9th. The witnesses are saying it looked like a gas leak, but the paramedics are on their way here because there are other victims."

The plastic surgeon shrugs, implying he doesn't know what he's talking about. The stretchers are occupied by at least ten people, but few of them are injured; the rest seem to have had anxiety attacks at being in such a situation. Nevertheless, Mark brakes in his tracks when he sees a girl wearing a visor and an apron, as if she were a barista, but what strikes him most is the logo of her business. "Fuck me," he mutters to himself, recognizing the name of the coffee shop he dropped Maddox off at an hour earlier.

As soon as he understands why Addison had asked some time earlier where the young resident was, Mark breaks into a run, not knowing where he's going: the important thing is to alert Addison that Maddox was probably involved in the explosion, and that his assumptions that he wanted to avoid her for another day had nothing to do with it.

"Addison!" The man shouts when he sees her in the distance. The woman readjusts her glasses on the bridge of her nose when she sees Mark coming toward her with great speed. There are only two possible scenarios: either he wants to annoy her, or something serious is going on. And, judging by her mood that morning, it had better be something worthwhile for Mark. "I need to tell you something."

"Be quick," Addison squeezes. "I've got a surgery in thirty and, surprisingly, I have no resident prepping it."

"It's about Maddox," Mark responds quickly. The last thing he wants to do is get the girl in trouble. Quickly Addison's gesture changes, softening. "I don't want to worry you for no reason."

"Now you're worrying me. Mark, come on!" Addison insists when the man doesn't respond.

"She was in the cafeteria. All the mess in the OR. There's been an explosion in a café and she was there. We were walking on our way here and she— she stopped there. I told her you liked that place, she stopped to buy you some breakfast. I'm just saying... I don't know, maybe she left before it happened, but she hasn't come in yet and you know she's not the one to slack."

Addison forgets that it's a tense moment between them and that Maddox barely speaks to her. She rushes over to the emergency room, urgently searching for her girlfriend's presence among the injured, but there's no sign of the resident, and the redhead fears the worst. "Are you saying...?"

"She's not here. I'm saying she may have gotten out before it happened."

"She would be here. She would be here," Addison repeats to herself, overly worried. That's three times now she's come close to losing Maddox, but still the feeling of knowing something could have happened to her is as suffocating as the first time.

Outside the hospital, two ambulances come to a screeching halt at the entrance. The paramedics rush to bring out the stretchers, where two people lie with burns that are not too serious, but still in shock or unconscious. However, the interns in charge of the scene along with Bailey, go in to help the injured, unaware that a third ambulance arrives shortly thereafter with Maddox inside.

"I'm going to get off now, okay?" Maddox's voice inside the ambulance is calm and tries to relax the injured girl, who is sobbing in her arms. She is leaning on the stretcher, which is tilted vertically in order to support the weight of the two girls. She holds her in her arms in an attempt to control the situation, but it has been difficult to keep her relaxed and, at the same time, keep the baby inside long enough for her to get the care and medication she needs in case something happens.

"No! Please," the girl mumbles, her chest heaving in a nervous spasm.

"We're here, alright? Everything's going to be okay. Your arm is broken so I really need to get off here, I don't want to be a burden. We've got really good doctors and I will be with you every step of the way. I promise," Maddox assures her, squeezing the hand on her healthy arm a little harder as a sign of promise.

"What do we have here?"

"Megan Waters, female, twenty four. Left arm broken but stabilized, a few cuts here and there but nothing serious on the surface. Cut on her temple has been sanitized. Eight months pregnant, water broke at the site, has been complaining of chest pain so she will need to have any internal damages checked."

"Easton?" Bailey's voice brings her back to reality: she's no longer trapped in the cafeteria, no matter how much her mind lingers there. She's at Seattle Grace now, and everything is going to be fine, just as she promises Megan. "Why are you not inside? Why are you so dusty?"

"It's a long story, Dr. Bailey," Maddox hurriedly replies, jumping off the gurney and helping to push her into the ER.

"Not so fast," the resident slows her down. "What's that blood coming out of your ear?"

"I'm fine."

"Maddox!" Mark sees her come in, and frowns a little at the sight of her dusty clothes, but wraps her in a hug when he sees her seemingly safe and sound. "I shouldn't have told you to stop. You smell terrible, by the way."

"I still need an explanation," Bailey folds her arms.

"I promised her I'd be with her when the baby came. I managed to keep Megan calm and relaxed until the ambulance arrived. Her water broke there, but she's been taking deep breaths trying to keep the baby calm. It would help if you were by her side, Dr. Bailey."

"Just... Go!" Bailey makes exaggerated hand gestures for her to leave, and Maddox runs past the doctors and interns to reach the gurney in the trauma room.

As promised, Maddox doesn't move from the room until the baby is born.

Addison looks at the scene from outside and, even if she had the words perfectly prepared in her head, they immediately vanish when she sees Maddox in her blue scrubs, her sweet gaze and her big smile as she cradles the baby of the patient she saved in her arms. Everything she wanted to say to her, the firmness and harshness of her words, her serious expression and the frustration she feels about the situation... They disappear. Because, again, Maddox is fine, and that is, in the end, all that matters to Addison.

Maddox leaves the baby in his mother's arms for a few seconds only, because her arm has been operated on and Megan barely has the strength to hold her son. The resident takes pity on her, turning a blind eye for a few more seconds, and then deposits the baby in the incubator again. Despite his month as a preemie, the baby has come out healthier than expected, and Maddox does everything she can —taking advantage now that Bailey is on her side— to keep the baby from being discharged before his mother. Maddox hasn't dared to ask about his father, because the patient hasn't mentioned anyone, and the resident is heartbroken that this baby will have to go without his mother.

The moment Maddox turns and sees Addison, an automatic smile comes to her lips. She feels like it's the first time in a long time that she's really seen her, and her heart swells as she feels that, at least momentarily, things seem to be back on track.

However, the words that leave Addison's lips are, "We need to talk," and Maddox frowns slightly, her gesture chagrined, because it's not the first thing she would expect to hear from Addison after having suffered an incident.

"Okay," Maddox concedes, nonetheless. The OB/Peds floor isn't very busy, so they take the trouble to go into one of the empty rooms. Maddox senses she's not going to like what she's about to hear.

"How are you? Mark said your eardrum was perforated."

"He said there was no infection, so drops for a few days would be enough to keep it that way. I'll go and have my ear checked in case it hurts, I promise," Maddox smiles a little, trying to reconcile the situation. Addison sighs and runs her hands over her face, pushing her hair away from her face afterwards. "Everything okay?"

"When you weren't here this morning," Addison begins, her tone of voice frustrated, "the first thought that popped into my head was that you kept avoiding me. These last few days have been terrible for you, and I understand that, I really do, but I was hoping you'd lean on me to get you through it. I remembered that you weren't really talking to me, so my worries turned to anger. Why didn't you show up? I was angry that you were so adamant on ignoring me that it was enough for you to switch services. And then Mark showed up and told me that you were possibly involved in an explosion in a cafeteria. You'd think I'd be used to you taking such risks: first the bomb, then Meredith and the ocean, now this. But as it turns out, no, I freak out like a child every time I imagine you hurt, or dead," Addison's voice breaks, and Maddox wants to approach her, but the woman restrains her. "Maybe I'm being paranoid, but that's the feeling I get because you're so willing to risk your life that I have to get used to it too. And I'm tired of feeling like this. I don't want to walk around, tiptoeing, not knowing what's going to happen today —a mass shooting? A robbery? It doesn't matter, because you'll be there, you'll put yourself last and give it your all to help anyone but yourself."

"That's not true," Maddox retorts. "I know the risks, but I choose to do it anyway because that's who I am. I'm a doctor. I'm a surgeon. I make my living saving lives, it's what I love to do, and I'll try to do it in or out of this hospital. It's who I am," Maddox smiles a little. "I delivered a baby today. I held a mother's hand and showed her her baby. I put that baby in her own hands. And all of that couldn't have happened if I had just walked out of the cafe as soon as I woke up. I need this."

"You need to save yourself first, Maddox. You don't play God, you wait for the tactical team to defuse the bomb, you wait for help out of the ocean, you wait for help when an explosion happens!"

"So I wait for people to die?"

"You wait for help!"

"You're not being a doctor right now."

"No, I'm not!" exclaims Addison. "I'm being a person who is scared for her partner. I'm a person who is tired of waiting for the worst to happen. I'm tired of you wanting to save everyone but yourself. It hurts me to see you suffer and I don't think you've gotten over some things in your life. I understand it hasn't been easy, but you can't please everyone. And inside that room..." Addison sighs, trying to hold back tears. "When you were holding that baby, I couldn't help but imagine a future with you. A family, something, I don't know what to call it. But your absence would be terrifying to me, and I don't think you understand that yet."

Maddox reacts like a spring, her face as if she's just taken a hit. "A baby?" A family, she says? Addison wants a family with her?

"I'm not saying I want that right now, but I know time isn't running in my favor. I'm more than happy to have you with just me, but the constant fear of losing you is too strong. I can't have both of those. I can't have fear inside my body if I want a family with you. And I can't have a family if I'm afraid every day."

"You don't— You don't need to be afraid," Maddox softens her voice, and this time she does reach out to the redhead, who doesn't pull her away from her. "I'm fine, see? Everything's fine. I know I can be a little reckless sometimes, but I don't want to scare you. I do it with the best of intentions. I know what it's like to hurt, so I don't want to see others hurt. I'm sorry I didn't take your feelings into account."

Maddox takes Addison's face in both hands and looks at her with all the love in her body. "It's okay."

"No, it's not. Look at you. It isn't. But it will be. I promise it'll be fine. I'd... I'd really like to have a family with you. Even if it's just a cat right now," Addison laughs a little, tears streaming down her cheeks, and Maddox smiles. "I'll be good. I'll do everything I can to make you happy. What do you need me to do?"

"Nothing. Just don't go away, okay?"

"Promise."