[ Pieces --- Andrew Belle ]

A month has passed since I arrived in Nottingham: I went out with Stephan a few times; he guided me by taking me to discover the city, and I am learning to give it a chance.

At school I met someone else, but I can only trust Stephan and Tara. I spend a lot of time with her, she talks to me a lot and I listen to her. It seems that everything in her life has already been established; a program drawn up almost from birth. I hope that her programs will be realized in a better way than mine.

I have also seen Harry in recent weeks; he came to school for Tara a couple of times and accompanied me home a second time when we went out with the others.

I have tried so much to trust, to open up more during these last weeks with the people who have now become my habits, who are part of my life whether I want it or not.

And despite everything, day after day I can feel Nottingham closer and less alien than I thought, when I arrived and when I knew I would come.

🌹

Today is Tara's birthday and she has organized a party at her home. The dress I decided to wear is dark blue, the sleeves wrap my arms up to the elbows and almost completely leaves the back uncovered. It rests on my body up to mid-thigh and I like the way it does it. It is a new dress, so it doesn't remind me of my past and life that is no longer mine. The too-high-heeled shoes I tie to my ankles are from Tara, she insisted that I wear them since I don't have any.

I hesitate to reach my father, sitting at the table in the living room. "Do you think I can go?" I ask him, and he looks up at me.

I know he didn't expect me to ask him something like that, but in the end he smiles at me and comes towards me, getting up and taking off his glasses from his face. "That's fine."

I return his smile; in these moments I cannot help but hope that perhaps all is not lost. "Thanks Dad."

"You need a ride?" he asks me as he sits down again.

"No, don't worry," I answer, also shaking my hand. "Stephan's going to get me."

"You two pend a lot of time together," he says, looking up to bring it to me. There is not too much judgment in his tone and in his indirect question, and I know he trusts Stephan.

"We're just friends, Dad."

"I didn't say anything," he says, raising his hands and giving a smile.

I shake my head slowly. "You still work?"

"Yes, but I don't have much."

I go to the kitchen and fill a glass with water; when I go back to the room I read Stephan's message saying that he will arrive shortly and I sit at the table in front of my father.

"I met a guy in the clinic a few days ago," he begins, "I think he's about your age, or maybe a little older."

I don't know exactly why he started this conversation this way, but I learned that my father never says anything by mistake, that there is always something more behind his words. "Was he a patient?"

He shakes his head. "No, he was a volunteer."

I just nod it, not knowing what else to say. My father smiles. "He's a good boy."

"Dad, I don't know why.." I start, but I am interrupted by the sound of my cell phone. I read the name on the screen: it's Stephan.

"He's arrived, I have to go," I warn him, getting up and taking his jacket.

"Don't be too late. And, Ariel"  turn before he continues. "Have a good time."

I smile at him before going out and closing the door behind me; as soon as those of the elevator open wide Stephanè in front of me, who lets his gaze flow over my body for a few moments.

"You look stunning." he says as I join him.

"Thank you." I murmur looking at him and accepting his invitation to lean on him, so I let my arm slide around his.

🌹

Tara's house is so large that it seems to never end where we are now. I've actually been there before, but from the way everything was set up it looks like a completely different house.

Stephan and I are greeted by a girl who has the guest list; I intend to leave her jacket and purse too, but I retrieve my cell phone before entering.

I am still anchored to Stephan's arm as we walk through the garden together.
There are tables decorated with flowers and small lights; everything is beautiful and studied in detail. In the background there is light music that makes itself heard but not too much, which does not bother those who try to start a conversation.

"You have arrived" a voice behind us makes us turn, and when I do I feel my heart stop for a moment.

Harry wears a white shirt that reveals the two tattoos engraved under the collarbones. The black jacket is open on the chest and the hair is brought back and up like all the times. Even his eyes are always the same.

"Styles" says Stephan, still by my side.

"Hold" Harry replies with a nod, then shifts his gaze to me. "Ariel Green," he says, and a series of chills cover my body the way only he can pronounce it. I feel Stephan gently tighten my arm around his again.

"Hi, Harry" I whisper in reply, and neither seems to be able to look away from the other first, but it is Tara who interrupts us.

"You finally got there!" she exclaims, standing next to Harry. Her long blonde hair falls in soft waves on her chest and back. Harry turns to her and puts his arm around her waist, and Tara does not hesitate to let herself go against him. They look at each other in an inexplicable way, and I know I'm not the only one who realized it. Together they complement each other, rely on each other and move forward together, fingers tight around those of the other.

Stephan walks away from me to tighten Tara in an embrace. "Happy birthday" he says, leaving her a kiss on the cheek.
She thanks him with a smile and then I go too.

"Happy birthday" I whisper in her hair and returning her warm grip. "You are beautiful."

When I turn absently I see Harry watching us with an expression that I can't decipher.

I look away and bring it back to Tara. "Thanks," she smiles, "and also for coming."

I shrug my shoulders and tell her that I could not have been here, then move my gaze to my legs until I descend to mine -
her! -  shoes.

"I was afraid you wouldn't wear them anymore!" she admits with a laugh, then looks back at me. She holds my hands between hers and her eyes shine with a light that I have been able to find in a few people. "You are very well indeed, Ariel."

After a while we split up, and I'm back with Stephan again.

"Shall we take something to drink?" he suggests, and I can't help but accept his offer.

We go to one of the larger tables and wait for the waiter to pour us something. I look up at the waiter ready to take my glass when he lingers on my fingers tight around the glass.

"Thanks" I say and he nods, smiling at me; I, embarrassed, I turn back to look at Stephan.

"That guy looked at you right" agrees as we walk away from the table.

"He was just kind," I say, taking the straw between my fingers.

"Now you say that?" he continues, but I can't understand the tone that masks his voice.

Before I can answer him I feel a gentle grip on my hips that takes me by surprise and that makes me move slightly, but then I recognize the grip as I turn around. Zayn kisses my cheek quickly, I shrug reflexively but smile.

"You're a crash" he whispers in my ear, I look up and shake my head. I break free from his grasp and in the meantime we have also been joined by Louis and
Eleanor, holding hands while greeting me and Stephan. It also approaches Niall, who has a glass in his obsessions, a smile ready to show everyone.

I met everyone one evening, when both Tara and Stephan told me we wouldn't be alone and that Harry had invited them to spend the evening with us too. They are all older, but none of them weighs the age difference between us. Zayn has asked several times to go out with him; I have always declined. In spite of everything, he does not miss the opportunity to propose it again or to stay close to me.

"Will you accept my invitation sooner or later?" he asks me while I see Louis and
Eleanor walk away and Niall and Stephan talk to each other.

"Sooner or later, maybe," I shrug my shoulders, and then I think I could please him. For at least one evening I could let myself go and see what it would be like to spend time with him. It is certain that I am not ready to have someone by my side, and probably these are not the intentions of Zayn, but trying to distract me might really only do me good.

"You know I'm not giving up" he says, a smile on his lips. "Not until you've told me yes."

The cell phone vibrates me in the delusions I read the name on the screen before moving away from him and giving him an answer. "Sorry, I have to get away."

"Don't stay away too long," he continues, and I take one last look at him as I go to the back of the house. I open the message quickly.

I miss you more every day.

It's Liam, and it's not the only message he wrote me. I scroll through the conversation and read the second.

Will you come back?

We have been able to speak little since I am here, and I am sorry because I would need to at least feel him close. Although it is difficult at different times, we try to go on the same when we manage to do it.
He often talks to me about my brother, updates me on how things are going there.

I write an answer as I calculate what time it can be in Portland right now. It's still morning there.

I would do it just to see you again.

I met your grandmother yesterday, he informs me. Now my brother is with her, we have decided to leave him there so as not to eradicate him from his habits. All he didn't need was a drastic change that would upset him and undo any other bond he built in Portland.

How's Todd doing?

I think well, he went back to school. Miss you, miss all of us.

My heart squeezes when I read his words, and a sense of melancholy mixed with sadness crosses me completely and makes me reflect like all the times; Did I really make the right choice by assisting my father to come here?

The persistent vibration of my cell phone distracts me, I answer my father's call when I read his name on the screen.

"Ariel, it's me." He is breathing heavily as he speaks those words, I feel that he is moving a lot and fast also through the phone.

"Dad, did something happen?"

There is an urgency, I have to go back to the clinic. I don't know how long it will keep me busy."

This is what I meant when I argued that my father cannot be trusted. I don't blame him for this, I would never do it, but in this way we lost so many moments for each of us. About me, Todd, and mom.

I trace the hem of my dress with my fingers. "Do not worry." "Do you have the keys to the apartment with you?"

"Yes," I say, although I'm not entirely sure. I always carry them with me usually, so I should have them in my bag, only now I can't check because I left it to that girl at the entrance with the jacket.

"Okay, so I'll write you a message later. Be careful" he says, before ending the call.

I go through the short conversation with Liam and end up finding a photo that portrays us a few weeks before my mother's death. I wish I could have him closer and I wish I hadn't had to give up on him too.

"Can I ?" it is a voice that I have learned to recognize for the way in which everything inside seems to start flowing again that asks me and I look up at him when he does.

I answer him by moving to allow him to sit next to me, and his leg touches mine for a few moments. I still have the image open on the cell phone screen, and his eyes fall on the photo.

"Is it Liam?" he asks me, and I didn't think he remembered it. I only told him about him when one of the first evenings took me home.
But I nod. "Yes, it's him."

A few minutes of silence followed, before Harry let out a sigh and turned towards me forcing me to do the same. I know what he's thinking, and I know what he's going to ask me.

"Why are you here, Ariel?"