taetae_army_luv

-Reviewer Katha-

BOOK COVER[9/10]: First of all, the book cover is really well-made. It is simple and yet attractive, something I really love. The font used is also beautiful.

TITLE[9/10]: The title is unique, something I've never heard of honestly. And Jimin's birthday, huh? Jokes apart, the title is well-chosen and peaks the curiosity of a reader and adds a mysterious ring to the story.

DESCRIPTION[10/15]: The description is nicely written. It is not too revealing, an aspect really important while writing the description. But you could've added a brief summary of the story line, to give the readers an idea of what they were about to read. And since you say, the story has smut scenes, you should provide the warning in the description.

STORY LINE[5/20]: Honestly, I felt that the storyline was too paced. It was as if you're trying to finish off this story asap. You should take some time with every chapter and not just finish them off as soon as they start. It's okay to have short chapters, but they should have a pace too. And the frequent change in POVs is also a bit confusing. Also, don't get me wrong, but some parts were extremely cringe to me and I had to stop reading for a bit.

CHARACTERS[1/10]: The characters need a lot more description than you have originally given, which is near to none. For the fans, who are used to them, might have a picture of them in their head. But for those who don't, it's difficult. For instance, I'm not familiar with Kai and many other idols you have introduced in the story, and thus it is difficult for me to picture them.

As for Y/N's character, you should know that 'Y/N' is generalized. Readers of all types and places are reading your story. But you have given a specified picture of them. In that case, make an OC instead. Not everyone is beautifully curved, or has a fair complexion, you see.

DIALOGUE DELIVERY[2/15]: The dialogues are fine, but I think they are not appropriate enough for the scenes and situations you have provided. So I would advise you to edit them.

GRAMMAR AND VOCAB[9/20]: The grammar was not wrong, I must say, but what lacked was the vocabulary. There were several places where you could've used specific terminologies instead of things like, '*sigh*' or 'haha'. You could've said, 'he sighed' or 'he laughed at his own thoughts' respectively.

TOTAL: 47/100

STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS:

Your strengths, I felt, was the description writing and the title, as you have seen for yourself.

But I would like you to focus more on your  weaknesses which are, description, dialogue forming, vocabulary and improvise them accordingly.

-Reviewer Semi-

Book cover :: 8/10

Its a really simple book cover but what I mostly liked about it was the font that you have used in there. It actually did a lot for the cover and its really pretty though I could suggest maybe you can increase the font of the author's name.

Title: 9/10

Well I can't actually say if the title suits the story well yet as there is only six chapters. But for now It is good and its a very unique not gonna lie.

Description :: 12/15

It was good actually but could be better. There were some places where punctuation marks had some problems. Like when you write something like "So tell me everything from the start" she said. You have to put a coma before (") the end. But after all it's a catchy description.

Storyline :: 16/20

Storyline was actually a bit unique one as it's not those typical mafia or CEO. I actually likes the plot. But as the other reviewer said, the story is going on a speed which is not that suitable. Like he was on the house, Sana confessed and bam Tae is kidnapped. I would like to suggest to make things a bit slow and try to explain more of the situation. It might be good if then.

Characters :: 08/10

Actually they are not bad, but the description of the characters are less. I know you started with like Taehyung talking to us through the story and Y/n description is also good. But other's were like Sana, Kai there were no description of them at all. It would be great if you could give a description about them as well like you did for main characters.

Dialogue and Delivery :: 09/15

Dialogues were fine, the reason I deducted this much marks is that delivering had a few problems. As I said before the story was going very fast. Also you could try to express emotions more. And again you are still on chapter six so maybe readers can expect twists and turns. Oh and I've noticed that sometimes you change POV's way too fast like that time Sana and Kai met at the park. If you wanted to express both of their thoughts you could've used Author POV. In that way you could write their both thoughts inside their mind and all. It would've been better like that and I would like to suggest to do that in future if you ever had a situation like that again.

Grammar and vocabulary:: 10/20

As I said before there were punctuation problems and and all.

One time, "the appointment is at 11.00 a.m , so here I am, sitting in the waiting area outside my doctors's room."

The comma next to the time was unnecessary and you could have split it to two sentences and write like,

"The appointment is at 11.00 a.m. So here I am, waiting in the waiting are outside my doctor's room."

And you have said,

"Okay, I am guessing this is going to be a long session." She stated, taking out a note pad and a pen, then called for the receptionist."

Also in here you could've split it like,

"Okay so I am guessing this is going to be a long session."

She took a notepad and a pen and then talked to the receptionist."

Note the punctuation differences. There are plenty more places like this and I know this isn't a English grammar checking essay and it is not that much necessary to have the exact right, professional grammar. But you know it would be more much more better. Other than that there were some unnecessary sentences. Also I would like to suggest of using action tag more when writing other than always upswing the verbal tag as it would be much more easier.

Total: 72/100

Strengths and weaknesses: The strengths that I've noticed that your cover, it's so pretty. Description and that action scenes were quite good. Also I like how unique your title is. Weaknesses is that grammar, delivering and story line going fast.

Lastly I enjoyed very much reading your book despite the weaknesses. Gud luck on completing the book : )

_yoontaetive_

KeonMin_x

^^^^^^^^^^^^

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