════════════════

Note: No, I have not disappeared. My stepgrandma passed away last week Saturday and the funeral was this Friday passed, so I've not been in the space to write. Nevertheless, I'm back now, so here's Brendon for you. x

════════════════

Listen to the above song while reading.

People say we shouldn't be together
We're too young to know about forever
But I say they don't know what they're talk-talk-talkin' about

"And will we be hearing wedding bells anytime soon?" the interviewer interrogated, leaning in closer across his desk, "I mean, you're still quite young, obviously - but you and her seem so in love, I just had to ask."

Brendon licked his lips and scratched the area between his brows - a nervous tendency of his - and exhaled heavily.

"I don't know, man. Like you said, I'm still young; I'll still figuring things out. Don't get me wrong - I love the idea of marriage, but it's just not the right time, ya know?" He ended with a nervous chuckle as he unconsciously shifted backwards.

With arched brows, the interviewer held out both arms and turned to face the camera. "There you have it, folks. I'm sure that's not the answer all of you Brendon and Sarah shippers were hoping for but-"

You turned off the video before he could finish his sentence and slumped down into the soft pillows supporting your back as the interview replayed itself over and over in your mind. You didn't know why you even watched those things; all the ever did was cause a burn in your chest.

They always had similar titles:

'Brendon Urie on his relationship with girlfriend Sarah Orzechowski'

'Panic! At The Disco's Brendon Urie talks love'

'Brendon and Sarah: Everything you need to know about your new fave couple'

It was sickening - the amount of glorification their relationship got. Granted, your feelings on the matter were a tad biased, but it made no difference.

Yet, you couldn't stop yourself from clicking on the link every time you saw one of them.

"You've been watching them again, haven't you?" Brendon sighed as he entered the room and saw you sulking into the pillows. He shook his head at you as he sidled over. "I told you to stop doing that."

"I can't help it!" you defended, hitting the pillow frustratedly, "It's an impulse. I see a link, I have to click on it. Which makes zero sense, considering I always feel like shit after I watch it," you laughed bitterly.

"Stop watching them, then."

"It's not that simple, Bren," you breathed, collapsing back into the pillow and flinging one arm across your face, covering your eyes; the tears were fast approaching, and you didn't want him to see you break down over this.

"(Y/N), babe, look at me."

Looking him in the eye was the last thing you wanted to do, and so you ignored his request.

Your defiance caused him to run a hand over his face in agitation before he seated himself on the comforter, just next to your head. He groaned when you resisted his attempts to pry your arm away from your face so that he could see you properly; you began tightening the contact between your limb and your forehead and using your free hand to swat his determined hands away.

Eventually, after another couple minutes of struggling, Brendon successfully broke the attachment and pinned both of your arms on either side of your head. He then climbed onto the bed and situated himself above you with his knees encasing your abdomen, pushing firmly against your body to prevent you from wiggling out of his grasp. You tried your hardest to get away from him but it was to no avail; you gave up and flung your head back into the pillow with a heavy sigh.

"I love you."

'Cause this love is only getting stronger
So I don't wanna wait any longer
I just wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl
Oh

"So you've said," you muttered.

Brendon's face displayed his astonishment - as well as a noticeable amount of hurt - and he scoffed in disbelief as he raised both brows. "You don't believe me?"

"Brendon..." you let your sentence trail off with a timid shake of your head. Your lack of response spoke for itself - both of you knew that you were not the least bit willing or interested in having this particular conversation. But being the stubborn bastard that he is, Brendon didn't let that fact deter him.

"What do I need to do to make you believe me?"

"Nothing, Brendon," you rubbed a finger over your tired eyes, "Just leave it; it's fine."

"No. No, no," he let out a short laugh and shook his head, wagging one finger before gently pressing it down into your chest, "don't do that. Don't you do that. I can't 'just leave it' - I need to fix it. Or at least try to. Because we both know that if I don't, and I walk out of that door," he removed his finger from your chest and directed it at your bedroom door, "that's the exact same thing as me giving up on us. And babe, there's no way in hell that's happening."

Annnnd cue the waterworks.

Damn it, Brendon.

A small gasp escaped you as you tried to keep your crying to a minimum, hurriedly wiping the moisture from your cheeks.

"There's nothing you can do, Brendon."

They don't know about the things we do
They don't know about the "I love you"s
But I bet you if they only knew
They would just be jealous of us,
They don't know about the up all nights
They don't know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels so right
Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us

A pained expression repeated the worried look that he had previously worn, and you could see the hurt flash in his eyes when he spoke to you.

"Please don't do this, (Y/N)," he pleaded, voice nothing more than a whisper, "Don't give up on us." He took your hands in his and brought them to his lips, peppering kisses across your skin.

"I'm not giving up on us," you reassured him and you could see his posture relax tenfold, "but I don't know how much longer I can keep this up for, Brendon."

"Just a little bit longer, babe," he crooned while pulling you towards him and kissing the top of your head, "Just a little bit longer. The contract ends in April; that's less than two months away."

"Two months is a long time," you grumbled, busying yourself with toying with the edge of the blanket next to you so that you didn't have to look at your boyfriend - although you could feel his gaze fixed on you; it tore right through you.

"Do you think that this is easy for me?" he questioned, brown eyes wide and distressed. "Because it's not. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Babe, I want nothing more that to be with you. Be by your side 24/7, 'til the day I die. I love you so, so much."

They don't know how special you are
They don't know what you've done to my heart
They can say anything they want
'Cause they don't know us

"But this is something I've gotta do," he sighed, giving a half-shrug, "You know."

One of your hands crept up to his face and caressed his cheek; he leaned into your touch with a contented sigh.

"I know," you nodded with a sigh of your own, "I don't mean to be difficult about this, Bren. But seeing you and her kissing and hugging and going on dates... it hurts. Because I know that it should be me with you, not her."

They don't know what we do best
It's between me and you, our little secret
But I wanna tell 'em
I wanna tell the world that you're mine, girl

Brendon gave a nod in understanding before leaning down to kiss you with such love, you became light-headed.

"Soon, babe. They can't know about us yet. But when they do..." he beamed down at you and cupped your face, "we'll make the whole damn world jealous."

You grinned up at him and he kissed you again, making you smile even bigger into the kiss. He pulled away and pressed his forehead to yours.

"You're not walking out on us, right?" he murmured.

They don't know about the things we do
They don't know about the "I love you"s
But I bet you if they only knew
They would just be jealous of us,
They don't know about the up all nights
They don't know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels so right
Baby, they don't know about, they don't know about us

They don't know about us
They don't know about us

"Never."

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

════════════════

Note: No disrespect is intended toward Sarah; I have nothing but love for her.

════════════════