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Note: A wonderful person, who has asked to remain anonymous, requested this a long time ago. Apologies for taking so long to get to it, but I hope it's up to scratch. x

'if you could do a like a coming out as nonbinary to Tyler and Josh, being scared they won't accept you bc they're Christians'

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"You're... what?"

Willing yourself to ignore the golf ball-sized lump that had formed in your throat, you inhaled deeply and forced your lips to repeat the words that had caused the looks of disdain you were currently receiving from your two best friends.

"Non-binary," you repeated, avoiding both of their gazes and crossing your arms over your torso, hugging yourself.

"Seriously?" Tyler pressed as he leaned forward with raised brows; his reaction made you wish you'd never instigated this conversation.

"Yes," you concurred with a small nod, "I'm very serious."

"Oh, wow," Josh breathed softly, rubbing the back of his head and looking down.

"Yup," you remarked, popping the 'p' and still diverting your gaze away from the two of them.

The atmosphere in the room was undoubtedly tense and incredibly uncomfortable – no one was moving or saying a word – and you found yourself genuinely contemplating running away and never coming back.

At long last, a second before you were about to implode from anxiety, Tyler spoke up. His words, however, was not the relief you were so desperately searching for. On the contrary – it broke your heart.

"(Y/N)," he started with a sigh, rubbing his hands over his face before taking a seat and placing them on his knees, "there's no easy way to say this."

You felt your stomach drop, and you had to collapse onto a nearby seat before the spinning in your head made you faint. Nothing good could come from what Tyler was about to say – you knew this for a fact – and it was all you could do to prepare yourself for the inevitable stream of tears that would soon be cascading down your cheeks.

"We can't be friends anymore."

There it was. You knew it was coming, but that knowledge did nothing to soften the blow, and you felt as if the wind had been knocked out of you.

Despite your best efforts, you couldn't prevent the sobs that wracked your body, and as you slipped down further into the sofa, you shut your eyes as you felt your heart shatter a million times over.

~

You woke up with a start; your entire body jerking as your nightmare drew to a close and you opened your eyes to the dim glow of the sunrise.

Closing your eyes, you heaved a sigh of relief when you realised that your nightmare was just that – a nightmare. It wasn't real life, and you did not just lose your two best friends.

Your body was flushed with heat, and that coupled with the added warmth from your duvet was beginning to make you feel claustrophobic, so you made quick work of getting out of bed and opening the bedroom windows.

The first gush of fresh air felt glorious against your blushing skin and you felt your taut muscles start to loosen. Your mind was not put at ease as simply as that, though. It was reeling with thoughts and emotions from your nightmare, as had become customary over the last few weeks. It wasn't the first time you'd suffered through that particular horrendous dream; once you had made the cognizant decision that you would come out to Tyler and Josh, your sub-conscious had taken on the challenge of preventing you from doing just that. Although, truth be told, it wasn't much of a challenge, considering you had been hesitant all along; the nightmares were only cementing that apprehensiveness.

You wanted to come out to them. They were arguably the two people you were closest with and keeping such a thing hidden from them just seemed wrong.

But you were terrified.

They had never given reason for you to be fearful that they would not support you, yet you worried still. It was common knowledge that Tyler and Josh were Christians, incredibly devoted ones at that, and it was because of this that your fretfulness had materialized. You weren't sure whether or not they would accept you, and the uncertainty was the only thing keeping you from telling them.

However, your anxieties, uncertainty and fear would all have to take a back seat to your courage today, because as you looked out at extraordinarily gorgeous sunrise, you were filled with enchantment, and decided that today was the day.

In a couple of hours, you would come out to Tyler and Josh.

~

As you sat on the edge of your couch, twiddling your thumbs, all you could think about was the gravity of the situation you had talked yourself into. There was no way to know for sure what the implications would be, and there was currently not much time to dwell on it, since the sharp sound of knuckles rapping against wood sounded throughout the room. You returned to your seat ten seconds later, a smiling Josh and hyper Tyler by your side.

Friendly conversation was made; they spoke about their music, you listened and offered your input where necessary. Talks like these between the three of you would often last for a solid hour, if not more, and today, you were incredibly grateful for that fact; it prolonged the preparation time of the recipe for disaster you were cooking up.

Your gratefulness ran dry, however, when Tyler asked how things were going with you.

Shit.

Now that the topic of the conversation had been changed from their life to yours, the window of opportunity for you to reveal all had opened up. Unfortunately, along with that open window came the air of anxiety, clouding your mind and suffocating your thoughts.

"I'm..." a tiny groan of frustration followed that lone syllable, and you were left to chew the inside of your cheek and aimlessly tug at the baby hairs framing your face as you struggled to find your train of thought. Problem was, that train had chosen to run itself off the track the minute the musicians walked through your front door.

"Quarter million words in the English language, (Y/N)," Tyler piped up, taking in your over-contemplative state, "Pretty sure at least one of those could describe how you're feeling."

"Speriat."

Both guys scrunched up their faces at the foreign word.

"Or not, I guess," Tyler mumbled.

"Listen," you spoke up, finding your footing and deciding to take the leap off of the cliff into the obscure waters below. "I have something to tell you guys."

There was no room for lifesavers now; it was sink or swim.

"There's not many people who know about this – maybe, like, two at most – so it's a pretty big deal. I haven't been open about it to everyone because, well, for starters, I don't trust everyone as much as I trust you two – and the other two that I've told. And secondly, I'm afraid of how people will react. It's not a minor thing, ya know? It's a lot to take in and not something that can just be adapted to overnight. I know that most would just see it as not worth the trouble of understanding and accepting, and chose to rather cut me off. I'm not going to lie – I've thought of you guys doing exactly that, once I tell you. I really hope you won't, but I do realize that it's a possibility, and quite a strong one at that. But whatever happens, whatever the outcome of this conversation is, whether you accept it or not... it's something that I have to do. You two have had such a major impact on my life and you've become such a huge part of it; I can't keep this from you any longer."

Tyler and Josh sat in complete silence, their wide eyes and slight hunch forward a clear indication that they were hanging onto your every word – ears eager to hear what you had to say, minds open to anything and everything, and hearts ready to accept and love you more than they ever had before.

With a deep breath, you submerged yourself into the icy depths below.

"I'm non-binary."

You stopped breathing at that point, watching their faces intently for hints of disgust, disdain, disapproval, or any sign to indicate that your friendship was about suffer extinction, but no such signal was given off.

"As in..."

"I don't see myself as male or female, exclusively," you explained to your captive audience, "I'm just," you shrugged a little, "me. They/them pronouns, if you will. But I know that this is a lot to take in, and I don't expect you to suddenly change the way you are with me. I'm alright with you guys addressing me like you always have." Noticing the presumptuous nature of your mini-speech, you backtracked a bit. "If you accept me, that is."

That earned you a double-whammy of frowns.

"We love you," Josh said, a hint of amusement on his lips, "Why wouldn't we accept you?"

You shifted uncomfortably, rubbing your arm. "I don't know. I mean, I do know," you sighed, "You guys are Christian."

"Yeah, and?" Tyler narrowed his eyes in perplexity, not exactly getting what you were hinting at.

"Isn't it, like, not allowed for us to be friends now?"

The boys chuckled. You raised your brows.

"See," Tyler pointed a finger at you and arched one brow, "that's where most people go wrong. They think that Christianity is all about how you can't do this or you can't do that..."

"Or you're wrong because you accept this, and it's only right if you accept that..." Josh added.

"When in actuality," Tyler continued, "it's not like that at all. The most important thing about being a Christian is your relationship with God, but even above that, it's all about love. God loved us so much that he gave us his only son – the ultimate act of love. And as Christians, it's our duty to love. Love everything, love one another. Being Christian is not about telling people how to live, or rejecting them and casting them out because they're gay, or transgender, or a different religion. It's about loving everyone, no matter how different they are or how they chose to live, even if they've wronged you. You forgive, you move on, and you love."

"So to answer your question, no, it's not not allowed for us to be friends," Josh concluded with a smile, "And it was silly of you to think that we wouldn't accept you. Sorry, but you're stuck with us. For a very long time."

No verbal reaction seemed appropriate enough, so you opted for the most obvious reaction.

You cried.

You'd hugged the two band members countless times over the course of the past few years, but none of them carried even a smidgen of the amount of love, acceptance and comfort as the one you were just embraced with. They hadn't said another word to you; they simply got up and wrapped themselves around you in consolation.

Their gesture – along with their bodies and the way that they had formed a barrier around you, both literal and figurative – conveyed everything they wanted to say; they were there for you, they loved you, and they would protect you from anyone and anything that dared to challenge your happiness and self-acceptance.

And honestly, that was all you could've asked for.
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Thank you for reading x

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Note: (Just for laughs)
So the other day, 'Say Amen' come on the radio while we were in the car and we were discussing the high note and my little brother said that the reason Brendon's voice can go so high is 'cause he hides helium in his forehead and honestly everything makes sense now

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