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DRESS
(( — DEAD POETS SOCIETY — ))

—chapter xv. of shakespeare and the final curtain

tw: mention of suicide and grief

LORAINE WAS STARING holes into the ceiling while she waited for her friends in front of the washroom.

she had pretty much slept through majority of the afternoon, the crying making her tired, until she eventually got in the shower and got ready to go to the play.

"loraine" keating exclaimed smiling as he came around the corner

"mr keating" loraine mirrored his smile "and it's fine to call me lori if you'd like!"

"thank you" keating seemed honestly honored by that. "how are you feeling, dear?" the softness in his eyes almost made her cry all over again

"it's rough" loraine shrugged. "but it's alright"

"i'm really sorry" keating pushed his hands into the holes in his trousers "this was an awful act of psychological violence. neither of you deserved this"

loraine smiled at her favorite teacher, glad to hear his thoughts on the situation. she leaned back against the wall. "it's awful, but i don't think we will find who is behind this"

"well, i think we will" with that, keating reached into his pocket and pulled out a stash of paper "i saw harry bredston wandering around with these earlier, i figured quickly that they didn't belong to him" he held the papers in loraine's direction

loraine's eyes grew big. these were the love letters, the ones that harry had apparently stolen. and mr keating had just gotten them back for her. "mr keating!" loraine said surprised, taking the letters and checking if it were all the ones she was missing.

after she had indeed noticed that they were complete, another thought entered her head and she looked up. hesitantly she began to speak "did you.. read them?"

mr keating shook his head. "no, no" he smiled "that would've never crossed my mind"

loraine sighed relieved. it wasn't that she didn't trust keating, but these letters were private and it was enough that harry had read them.

"maybe tomorrow might be a good day to tell the headmaster who was behind this awful rumor" keating suggested

loraine nodded, pushing the letters into the pocket of her coat "maybe it is"

keating send her a last smile, before he turned around and walked away. "i forgot my scarf, i'll be right back"

loraine wondered if she had just imagined the scarf already dangling around his neck.

not long after keating had been gone, the boys stumbled out of the washroom.

charlie, totally unbothered by the presence of his friends, threw an arm around loraine and kissed her. after loraine had been (kind of) forced to tell neil about their relationship, they decided to tell the rest of the group as well, deeming it unfair to leave them in the dark, well except for cameron, who's eyes almost popped out of his head at the sight in front of him.

"you didn't tell him?" loraine asked charlie when she noticed the look on cameron's face.

charlie shrugged. "he's not my friend"

"your man just painted himself red" knox nudged loraine's arm.

"what?" loraine giggled and turned her head to look at knox, who just pointed at charlie. "what does he mean?" she asked charlie amused

charlie took his time and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing a red drawing of lightning.

loraine gasped at the reveal, but laughed nonetheless.

"well does it drive you crazy?" todd asked, unusually daring

"should it?"

"of course" charlie pouted

"well then it does" loraine smiled and charlie pulled her into a passionate kiss, which he tried to hide from his friends while raising the arm with his overthrown jacket. the rest of the boys hollered and loraine broke the kiss sooner than charlie would've wanted.

suddenly the attention of the group got caught, by someone standing at the beginning of the hallway.

"chris" knox said surprised "what are you doing here?" he walked closer to the entryway.

loraine peeked around charlie's body, trying to get a look at the girl, maybe to verify that it was really her. chris noticed loraine and her face lit up at the familiar face. she smile and raised her hand. loraine mirrored her expression

"i didn't know you were friends with loraine" chris said to knox

knox just shrugged. "you never asked" he smiled rather awkwardly and loraine decided that it was time for some privacy. she gently pushed charlie forward, the rest of the group following on autopilot.

it seemed like keating had a similar idea, as he called from afar, jumping in to help her. "gentlemen, lady, let's go"

"go ahead guys, i'll catch up" knox muttered

charlie got out of his trance and helped loraine to push the rest of their friends down the hallway, quickly walking back and snatching meeks too.

mr keating's car was a lot bigger than loraine had thought. making it still a bit hard to fit seven people, but not entirely impossible. especially since knox decided to walk.

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NEIL'S PLAY WAS already far along when chris and knox entered henley hall. loraine turned in her seat when she heard the noise and waved at them. once she was finished, charlie intervened their hands again.

she could feel keating's eyes on her and smiled at the man.

from behind a bush, neil emerged, wearing a crown of twigs and berries on his head.

"hey, hey, hey" charlie was almost out of his seat when he noticed neil on stage. meeks and loraine pulled him down by his shoulders and shushed him.

neil was hiding behind a tree as a girl emerged, similarly clad, but with flowers in her hair. neil sneaked over to the girl.

"either i mistake your shape and making quite, or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite call'e robin goodfellow" the girl said

neil sat down and hid his face, before he jumped up, to counter what she had said. "thou speak'st aright; i am that merry wanderer of the night.i jest to oberon and make him smile when i a fat and bean-fed horse beguile" he paused to make a sound imitating a horse and the audience laughed "neighing in likeness of a filly foal: and sometime lurk i in a gossip's bowl, in very likeness of a roasted crab, and when she drinks, against her lips i bob and on her wither'd dewlap pour the ale. the wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale"

charlie saw his opportunity to lean over and whisper at loraine and keating. "he's good, he's really good"

"he is" loraine smiled and keating nodded, raising a thumbs up.

"sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me; then slip i from her bum, down topples she, and "tailor" cries, and falls into a cough; and then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh, and waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear a merrier hour was never wasted there. but, room, fairy! here comes oberon"

loraine was impressed by how much monologue neil had to memorize and did so effortlessly. of course she had helped and seen him rehearse those past months, but she had misjudged how much he really learned and rehearsed for the play. he got the excitement and mannerisms of puck down like a pro.

"and here my mistress, would that he were gone!" the fairy added. her and neil hid behind a tree, using their leaf staked hands to hide their faces

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LYSANDER WAS sitting beside hermia on the ground. "then by your side no bedroom me deny; for lying so, hermia, i do not lie"

"lysander riddles very prettily: now much beshrew my manners and my pride, if hermia meant to say lysander lied. but, gentle friend, for love and courtesy lie further off; in human modesty, such separation as may well be said becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid, and, good night, sweet friend: thy love ne'er alter till thy sweet life end!"

"amen" lysander added "amen, to that fair prayer, say i:"

the next minute, neil was on stage again, filling a bowl made out of leaves with water. he held it up in the air. then the lights got dark and neil was standing in a spotlight, speaking the closing monologue.

"if we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended, that you have but slumber'd here, while these visions did appear. and this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream, gentles, do not reprehend: if you pardon, we will mend:
and, as i am an honest puck, if we have unearned luck. now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, we will make amends ere long; else the puck a liar call; so, good night unto you all. give me your hands, if we be friends, and robin shall restore amends"

neil backed away and the curtains closed as the audience began to clap and roar. loraine smiled at charlie, who looked equally as proud as her. so did mr keating.

once the curtain opened again and all the actors were standing on stage, the dead poets made a point of getting up from their seats, while the rest of the audience followed their action. charlie counted down and when he reached one, they all yelled a loud "yawp". even todd.

charlie and loraine, as well as the rest of the boys, followed keating out into the hall, where they decided to wait for neil. it wasn't even possible to leave right now if they wanted, way too many people making it impossible.

loraine noticed them first. she raised her finger to point them out to charlie. "there's neil..." she hesitated, before she slowly added "and mr perry?" she didn't think he would come to see the play. on top of that he looked angry. did neil lie to her?

she didn't have time to think about it any further, because the rest of the group noticed them as well, calling his name over and over again. neil looked stressed and unapproachable as he shoved through the crowd. loraine grabbed charlie's arm. she knew something was wrong.

"i can't guys" neil tried to ignore them while he followed his father out of the building and to his car.

mr keating was right on his heal. "neil, neil" he said to make him stop "you have the gift" he held onto neil's arm. the rest of the group coming to a halt next to them. charlie and loraine exchanged worried glances.

"what a performance" keating gushed "you left even me speechless. you have to stay—"

"get in the car" mr perry interrupted harshly "keating, you stay away from my son" he warned. before he turned around, he noticed loraine standing slightly behind charlie. "come one, lori" mr perry tried to smile, but failed miserably "i'll drive you home"

she didn't want to anger him any further. so she let go of charlie's arm and send each and everyone of her friends, including mr keating, an excusing glance. mr perry gently put his arm around her, guiding her into the backseat. then he got around the car and started it.

neil, as well as loraine looked out the window and watched their friends sad expressions as they drove off. loraine's hand wandered into the space between the car and neil's seat, gently taking his hand into her own. she squeezed it three times, trying to assure him that everything would be alright.

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MR PERRY DIRECTED neil to walk loraine back to her room in welton, making sure that she got in safe.

as neil turned to leave, she held his arm, stopping him from going anywhere. "i—i can get my bag packed in less than three minutes" she whispered. neil shook his head but she continued "we could leave through the back door. he wouldn't notice until it was too late. from there we could try to—"

"loraine" neil interrupted, but she ignored it

"there is a train leaving every night, we could take it and get out on the last stop, wherever that is" her words collided with each other, her rambling getting faster by the second "you don't have to go home, neil. i can fix it, i promise you it's only—"

"loraine!" neil interrupted again. but this time his voice was raised, making her jump. his anger went away just as quick as it had come. she wasn't the person that deserved it. "it's alright" he muttered, hiding his expression, knowing that the worried look in her eyes would otherwise make him cry.

"no it's not" loraine said softly, brushing a hand over his cheek

"i'll call you in the morning" neil assured, he tried to smile, but loraine could see his eyes fail at it. "it's not the first time i will get yelled at"

she couldn't shake off the bad feeling that was creeping up her back.

"neil" she said, not sure she wanted to let him leave

"watch your phone, you won't even get to miss me" neil grinned sheepishly and loraine felt a bit at ease. but she noticed his expression change the moment he thought she couldn't see him anymore.

this was worse than ever before. she knew it. so did neil. he didn't want her to worry.

maybe she should go with him.

but she could only watch him leave. frozen, standing in front of the door to her room. she could see his head get smaller as he walked further down the hallway. away from his room, away from loraine.

"i love you" she called after him, her words bouncing through the empty hall. neil was too far gone to hear.

she only opened the door to her room after she had waited a few endless minutes for him to come back. she got changed and cried when she got into her bed. her heart broke at the way neil had looked at his father, that hopeful look, searching for proudness in his fathers eyes.

loraine knew that neil had lied about his fathers approval. the way mr perry talked to mr keating was all she needed to see. and the way he dragged neil out of henley hall. she would never forget the look on his face.

she had only slept a few hours when there was a knock at the door. she got out of the bed, quickly throwing a gown over her night dress.

"tommy" she smiled surprised, rubbing her eyes and stepping aside so he could come in. she was just too tired to notice his swollen eyes, his running nose or the expression on his face.

or maybe she didn't want to notice it.

she could feel the sleep peel out of her features as her brothers tousled look finally caught up to her.

she looked at him worriedly, permanently forgetting the events of the night before

"did something happen?" she asked

tommy sighed, another few tears slipping out of his eyes. loraine sank down on her bed slowly, tommy's voice a far away sound. it felt like someone was holding their hands over her ears.

she heard tommy mutter a name, he mentioned blood and grief. she couldn't piece the words together though.

but when her mind finally connected the dots, there wasn't any way to react. there was just silence.

and then she screamed. louder than anyone ever did before. boys walked into the hallway as they listened to the ear piercing and heart-wrenching scream coming out of the headmasters daughters room.

that morning, december fifteen in an all boys private school called welton, a girl's heart broke so loudly that everyone around her could hear.

and after all, charlie dalton did not break loraine nolan's heart. neil perry did, right after he took his own life.

-

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