˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

DRESS
(( — DEAD POETS SOCIETY — ))

—epilogue. of a life through memories

tw: mention of death and grief

𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞,
𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭
𝐢 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫,
𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭

billsgate cemetery, london, england, summer 2019

HARRY BREDSTON had not been silent most days of his life, but now, as he watched the coffin of his wife being lowered into the ground, there was not a single sound escaping his lips.

the suit was aching in every part of his body, only hiding how he was truly feeling, keeping him together, before it was finally his time to fall apart. his lips were dry as he gently slid his finger over them. fingers that were just as close to death as his wife had been.

"my dearest condolences" a brown haired man shook harry's hand. he was wearing a black suit and his warm brown eyes looked familiar, it took him some time to recognize charlie dalton's boy.

"neil" harry said just as pleased as surprised "i did not count on you being here"

neil smiled friendly, before he nodded. "you were a great friend of my parents, i thought it would be a nice gesture"

"thank you, my boy" harry patted neil's shoulder "who are these young ladies?" he pointed behind the man, smiling at the new arrivals

"this is claire, my wife. she is knox and chris overstreet's daughter" neil introduced the red headed woman. she was wearing an elegant black dress and looked at him with a sympathetic look in her eyes

"ah" harry nodded in recognition "i remember your father"

"and that is our daughter, lori" neil pointed to the small girl. she couldn't have been older than eleven. her hair was long and golden, her eyes shimmered brown and her smile was contagious. she reminded harry too much of someone he had once known.

harry bend down to take a closer look at the young girl "seems like she comes right after the girl she was named after" he looked up at neil "i believe that is what you did"

neil nodded and harry could see a hint of sadness fly over his features. "it's been a few years"

"tell me, how is your father, neil?"

"he died not long after my mother, sir" neil explained sadly "i believe you were back in america at that time, i would've called, but i wasn't sure how"

"i'm very sorry to hear that neil"

"he died of a broken heart" claire added "just a few months after nana, he could not live without her" she bowed her head to look at her daughter

harry followed her eyes and was again astonished over the similarity between lori and her grandmother.

"well" harry said finally, as he picked a few roses from the bouquet in his hand "please tell them my greetings"

neil smiled thankfully and took claire's hand as well as lori's. harry watched them walk away from him. there were guests waiting for him, but it wasn't easy to break his eyes away from the sight in front of him. the little family that continued their way to the grave.

but just like time, that image was fleeting and it only took a minute until harry couldn't see them anymore. he turned away and walked back to his own family.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

THE GRAVE WAS filled with blooming flowers, the summer making its presence known all over.

it had been neil's biggest concern to keep it in good condition, it was his responsibility after all. he gave harry's roses to lori and smiled as she gently put them down in front of the stone

neil noticed that knox must've been here earlier, the familiar chrysanthemums shining beautifully. he came every month, bringing his friends fresh flowers.

neil had more than once told him to stop, all the flowers were costing way too much, but knox had never listened, continuing his monthly visits and bringing a beautiful big bouquet every time.

in loving memory of

LORAINE DALTON   CHARLES DALTON
*16.06.1942                 *27.03.1942
† 24.11.2015                  † 13.01.2016

we will make amends ere long;
else the puck a liar call;
so, good night unto you all.
give me your hands,
if we be friends,
and robin shall restore amends

neil watched his daughter fondly, keen about the resemblance she had to not only his mother, but his father as well.

"can you tell me about them again?" lori asked her father later, when he was bringing her to bed

"again?" neil asked exaggerated, but in all honesty, he could never get tired of talking about his parents "what do you want to know?"

"tell me everything"

neil laughed about his daughters interest. just like her, he had grown up to stories of an all boys school and the best friends in the world. he wasn't sure if he had ever heard a real bedtime story. the memories of his parents had always been far more interesting.

"you can't just stop at the best part" lori laughed "you did not tell me what happened after"

"after?" neil smiled "this is after, dear" he pointed in the air, at her and at him "what more is there to tell?"

"dad" lori groaned and neil laughed

"alright" he patted her cheek "lay down under the covers and i will tell you what happened after"

lori did as she was told, while neil adjusted his position on her bed. she cuddled up against her father and he finally began to tell her story that happened a long time ago. "loraine did not go to italy"

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰
𝐢𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡, 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧' 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡
𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝
'𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰

welton academy, vermont, america, summer 1960

LORAINE ALMOST had a heart attack at the loud knocking on her door. "todd" she said surprised when she was almost run over by the boy.

"what are you doing?" todd's eyes flew around the room frantically, noticing the suitcases.

"i'm packing" loraine grimaced as she put another dress into the suitcase.

"don't" todd shook his head and loraine stopped in her tracks, surprised

"what are you doing?" loraine crossed her arms as she watched todd dramatically flare his arms.

"do you remember what you told me?" he asked "do you remember what you said in my room, a few days after neil died?"

loraine shook her head and walked around the room, collecting more things to pack, todd hot on her heels. "you said that sometimes everything gets too hard and you just want to run away"

"the school year is over todd" loraine interrupted "it's been half a year since i said that"

"i know, i know" todd nodded understanding "but it's not too late, right? it's never too late. you don't want this, lori. this isn't the future you're supposed to have, we both know that"

"todd" loraine sighed. the boy blocked her way "what do you want from me? everything is decided. i leave tomorrow, harry tried everything he could. they won't even listen to him, do you think they would listen to me?"

"no" todd muttered "but it doesn't matter"

"you're right" loraine nodded, walking around todd and putting a few more clothes into the suitcase, before she closed it "it doesn't matter, not anymore"

"what about charlie?" todd tried

"what about charlie?" loraine repeated the question "i haven't seen him in months, you know how strict his new school is"

"do you still love him?"

"are you intentionally ignoring what i'm saying?" loraine was now standing right in front of her friend

"absolutely" todd smiled "do you still love him?"

loraine stared blankly at him, before she laughed "yes, of course i do"

"then run" todd squeezed her arms "run, lori, please" he said softly "just this once, do it, for the first time in your life, get on that stupid bus, or train or anywhere else, just.. please, do it"

"i don't even know where i would go" loraine shook her head

"how about london?" the sudden voice made her turn around

"tommy?" loraine asked surprised "you're in on this too?"

"i don't know about you, but i really want to find someone that lives there as far as i've heard"

"you're leaving?" loraine wondered "to london?"

"we're leaving" he corrected

there was not another word of protest, just fast packing, quick goodbyes and the hint of a tear when they crossed the hallway in front of gale nolan's office. after all, loraine knew that she would cry for her father, even if he had betrayed her so terribly.

she left a note for harry, she owed it to him. because, surprisingly after everything that had happened, he had been a good friend to her.

"we have to do one last thing" thomas said after they had arrived at the airport.

before loraine could question what he was talking about, a tender hand had touched her arm, prompting her to turn around and smile at the face she had missed so dearly these past few months.

"you won't believe why i'm here" charlie said, as a tear ran over his cheek

"i can think of a few reasons" loraine laughed happily, the tears already flowing "but you'd have to say it to make me believe"

"did i not say i would give you anything?" charlie beamed "how about my life, ray?"

"oh, charlie" loraine hugged him so tightly, she feared he would burst.

"when you know, you know" he muttered into her hair and loraine knew he had come to stay forever.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

"AND CHARLIE NEVER left her side again"

"that's it?" lori asked and to neil's surprise she was disappointed. "what about after that? what about todd and grandpa knox, tommy, meeks and pitts? or your grandpa john? i want to know the whole story"

"alright, alright" neil laughed, quickly trying to calm his daughter "i'll continue. so there was a beautiful ceremony in late august"

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐢 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰
𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨
𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮
𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨

wedding venue, london, england, august 1971

"SOMETHING OLD" keating said as he held the book in loraines direction

"mr keating" loraine smiled as she turned around, she hugged her teacher, who looked so proud

"you look beautiful, my dear" keating laughed "i'm sorry, i couldn't make it in time to see the ceremony"

"it's not a problem" loraine was still keeping a close look on the book in her hands. the book that had once started every meeting of the dead poets society "i'll have to find charlie and tell him you're here" before she could leave, a woman stepped up next to her

"oh, another guest" the woman smiled. she had beautiful blonde curls that framed her face. her eyes were the same colour as loraine's. she looked awfully familiar, even if keating was sure that he had never met her before. her dress was emerald green and brought out her hair. keating wasn't sure how old she was, but she was probably a few years younger than him, in her fifties

"that's john keating, mum" loraine introduced "the teacher i told you about"

while loraine walked away to find charlie and probably the rest of the dead poets society, keating stayed to talk to her mother

"i'm margaret" she smiled and shook his hand

"john" he nodded "i'm glad lori found what she was looking for all this time. i'm glad someone was waiting for her"

every time margaret's eyes fell on one of her children, keating noticed the love and fondness in her eyes. he could practically feel her sheer happiness of being near them

keating did only stay a few hours at the wedding. he had taken the time to speak to each of his former students, making sure their life was going the extraordinary way he had always hoped.

he had been delighted when he heard each of their stories.

knox eventually moved to london, where he stayed close to loraine and charlie. after all chris had followed him. they were married and had two daughters, eliza and jane. he had his own law firm, eventually becoming a lawyer. but he did not seem bitter, as he told him everything, loraine ruffling his hair and both of them laughing. not much had changed.

meeks and pitts had started their own business. they had stayed in america and were now moving all around the world, selling their inventions.

even thomas had taken the time to speak to him. he had decided not to become a lawyer after all, but to follow in his father's footsteps.

at that point, thomas had told him that mr nolan had passed away the year before, and to keatings surprise, both thomas and loraine had went back home to visit him. they had eventually made peace with whatever had happened all those years ago and keating almost teared up when thomas told him how proud their father had been of his children, fixing his mistakes right before it was too late.

thomas explained how much that had meant to loraine, as she had been the one who had not been able to stop missing her father every day after they had left.

keating watched her across the room, how she gave flowers to the children who were running around the venue and he smiled, knowing that after all, she had still made the right choice.

thomas had opened his own school right in london. it did follow the construct of his fathers school, but it was much more modern, even allowing girls. it had taken him years, but after all he had been able to win todd as a teacher. he had married his longterm girlfriend a few years ago and was father to a son and a daughter.

todd was next in line and he spoke as happily as the rest of his friends, making it clear to keating that he had been the main reason for todd becoming an english teacher. him and his boyfriend were now living as close to knox and chris and their kids and loraine and charlie as possible, making it hard for them not to stay in touch.

loraine had been right when she had said that she had met friends for life at that school.

charlie was managing a restaurant and he was doing a great job, keating had often read about it in the newspaper and he promised to come eat there soon, of course for free, as charlie promised.

keating had been delighted to hear that loraine was working on her fourth book. he was proud that she had been able to accomplish that dream of hers.

before he left, he promised all of them to call and let them know how he was doing, he also told loraine to keep the book, making sure that she had one more thing that reminded her of the happy times in the old indian cave

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐲
𝐡𝐞'𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐬
𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐡𝐞'𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬

the overstreet house, london, england, october 1977

IT WAS THE baby shower of knox' and chris' third daughter, claire, that brought them all together once again, all of them, even keating

loraine was holding onto charlie's hand, as they were standing at the table, a bit off from the crowd. she noticed the old teacher approaching, and smiled at him.

"john" she greeted, during more than just one phone call, he had told her to call him that. "over here"

"lori, charlie" keating waved his hand, coming closer and saying hello to the both of them. "i'm glad i could make it" he smiled. the smile on his face grew even bigger when he noticed margaret coming closer, a little baby in her arms.

"hello, john" she greeted and neither loraine nor charlie could ignore the obvious attraction between her and their former teacher

"that must be your son" keating tickled the baby's hand and looked at charlie and loraine

"his name is neil" charlie nodded proudly, before he took the baby out of margaret's hands and held him in keating's direction "do you want to hold him?"

keating nodded eagerly and took the baby. neil was giggling at the old man. "a great name" keating complimented and his eyes turned a bit teary involuntarily

"thank you" loraine smiled and keating looked up. she was watching her son with a similiar look she had always watched neil with. keating felt like he was living a déjà vu, only that the baby in his arms was not neil, not really.

keating, followed by margaret, went to sit down at a table, after he had asked for charlie's and loraine's blessing.

"did you see that?" charlie asked when they were far enough away

"of course" loraine smiled across the room "they met up a few times already, it's only a question of when"

across the room, margaret was laying her hand on top of keating's as they smiled at each other.

"since the beginning of time" margaret told him "it's always been the three of them, hasn't it? she told me all about it. charlie, neil and loraine" she pushed a hand over the babies few hairs.

"now they're back together" keating laughed happily

and he was right. when loraine and charlie had been blessed to hear that they were expecting a baby, shortly after loraine had turned 34, it was a surprise to both of them. and the moment they had found out that they were expecting a boy, they knew what to name him.

maybe it had all been destiny.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

NEIL'S EYES GLANCED to the door of his daughters room as he paused his story. his sight was blurring, until it eventually changed

"neil" he heard someone say. he turned his head to look if lori had just said his name. but lori was gone. the wall lost the color, being repainted, the sunlight coming in through the window, deaming it a beautiful day in november. neil wasn't sure he could even still remember a time when this room had looked like this. time had fled him once too quickly, making it hard to recognize the past.

"neil" the voice repeated and his head turned to the door. there she was. loraine. his mum. he could've almost burst into tears. it had been so long. and as he watched her closely, he noticed how young she still was.

she was wearing that beautifull dress with flowers, the pink on it highlighting her hair. her eyes were warm and familiar, soozing neil's sadness immediately and making him feel safe.

"mum" neil laughed and loraine smiled

"now, come on" she held her hand out for him to take "dad's waiting"

he took her hand and followed her out of the room. out of the familiar home, back to the car

"hey, neil" charlie turned around in the front seat and smiled as he watched his son climb into the car

"where are we going?" neil asked

"to visit grandma peggy and grandpa john, sweetheart" his mum answered "your aunt and uncle will be there too, so it won't be boring"

neil grinned, noticing how well his mother knew him.

loraine turned back around to face the front and neil's eyes followed her, watching his parents.

they were laughing with each other and neil felt all warm in his chest. he could watch them for hours, if that meant he would never have to let them go.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭
𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭
𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫

memorial hospital, london, england, november 2015

NEVER EVENTUALLY turned into thirty years. childhood was long gone and still, neil felt like he was just a boy.

"come sit with me, my love" loraine was outstretching her hand in neil's direction, he took it, like that day all those years ago and sat down beside his mother "my beautiful boy" loraine was gently touching his cheek with her other hand. "everything will be alright" she promised and neil's heart broke

"mum" neil cried, but loraine gently soothed him, like she had always done

"don't cry, baby" she said softly "it's time"

"dad" neil called, in the hope that charlie would hear his calling through the whole hospital

"please" loraine turned to the nurse "please, just bring me my charlie"

maybe he could just not remember a time before this or it was truly the first time that neil noticed fear in his mother's eyes. he knew her well enough to know that she wasn't scared of dying. loraine dalton would never be scared of something so silly. no, she was deeply scared of going without having seen charlie's face for the last time.

"dad" neil repeated, tears already streaming over his cheeks all while the touch of his mother's hand was losening. "dad"

"neil" charlie was pushed into the room by claire, he wasn't able to leave the wheelchair anymore. he gasped as he noticed his wife. "am i too late?"

neil was ready to nod, to explain to his father how it had only been a few seconds, but before he could do anything, loraine laughed softly.

"oh, charlie" she smiled "when were you ever on time?"

neil admired how despite it all, his parents did not lose their funny nature, how despite of having to leave each other for the first time in over 60 years, they did not mourn or cry in agony, but rather held on to whatever time they still had.

"my love" charlie smiled, as he took loraine's hand "i'll make it up to you" he was smirking and loraine broke into a giggle. charlie had missed the sound of her laughter. the illness had taken it's toll on her and she had been sleeping for most days, but now she was more awake than ever, making sure that she could look at him one last time.

"i love you, ray" charlie kissed her temple

"i love you even more, honey" she said "i always knew i would go first"

"i will find you again" charlie promised "even if i have to search for forever, i found you in this life and i will find you in the next"

"i know" loraine laughed "i never doubted it for a second and when you come and find me, make sure you bring an apple with you, green ones are my favourites"

neil was confused at his mothers words, but his father nodded knowingly, squeezing his wifes hand

"who even likes green apples?" charlie asked and his voice broke as tears ran over his cheeks

and then, just a second after, they both added "loraine does"

charlie looked at his wife, he looked into her beautiful and warm brown eyes and he knew that she was still the same. she had grown older over the years, but she was still his ray. and in her eyes he could still see the little girl she had once been.

charlie had always wondered what had filled him with so extraordinary excitement all his life. it was loraine, he thought, it had always been her. and there she was.

charlie dalton kissed his wife softly, as her eyes fluttered close and she left everything behind. even if his heart was painfully falling apart, he did not leave her side as she took her last breath.

as charlie squeezed her hand, loraine could not only feel his touch. it wasn't just him holding her hand, but also tommy, meeks, pitts, todd, harry, john, knox, chris, her father, her mother, claire, neil and lori. and next to them all she could also feel the touch of a boy that had been gone longer than she had known him for.

maybe she could even feel his touch the strongest, above all of them, because he was already waiting for her. waiting for years, to finally see her again. his hand felt the same as it did that night in mr perry's car, his hand felt the same as it did back in his room as he was comforting her, it felt the same as it did all those years ago, hidden in the gap of his coat, holding hers firmly.

his hand had been guiding her back home then and his hand was guiding her back home now, decades later in a hospital bed

loraine dalton felt no fear when she died. there was only hope.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

'𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞
𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞 𝐈'𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧
𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬

london, england, january 2016

BEFORE NEIL had the time to grieve his mother properly, christmas coming and going, his father was already making him worry.

"maybe you should rather come and stay with us" claire suggested softly. when neil had gotten married, charlie and loraine had left him the house and bought a smaller one, right outside the city.

charlie shook his head and laughed "no, no. i'm just an old man" he patted his granddaughters cheek softly "you have more important things to take care of"

it was to no use to argue with his father. it was even a surprise when he accepted their help. he would still see knox and todd regularly, playing cards and telling neil about long forgotten times, sometimes they mentioned stories, neil was sure they had made up to fuck with him.

that was in his fathers nature. and even though charlie was not isolating himself, neil noticed the loneliness in his eyes, never truly happy, never truly peaceful.

he looked like he was always ready to run, but there was no one to come with him anymore.

it was a rainy day in january, when neil came around to spend the day with his father.

charlie had already been sitting on the bed and neil noticed that he was crying. he wasn't sure if he had truly forgotten, but he was calling for loraine

"ray" charlie mumbled and looked up at neil "where is she, neil?"

"mum died, dad" neil reminded and his father nodded hesitantely

neil guided his father down in the living room and he noticed quickly how obvious his mother's absence was all around the house. the second chair that was always empty, the pair of slippers no one used, the hairbrush in the bathroom that had still some of her hair in it.

"maybe you'll stay with claire, lori and i for a few days?" neil said "how would you like that?"

charlie was stubborn "no, no" he shook his head, like he always did. "i'll stay here, neil. here is where i belong"

neil had begrudgingly accepted that answer, walking into the kitchen and taking the phone to call claire. 

"i have to stay with him" he almost whispered, so charlie wouldn't hear him "it's gotten much worse" he raised his head, to look through the kitchen door. charlie was sitting in his chair, staring at the picture of his wife on the table beside it.

"of course" claire answered neil, she had also heard from her father, that charlie had been good at putting on a charade to fool his friends, not making them see how broken loraines death had left him.

neil stayed more than just one night. it was like something in him was telling him to. that something had been right.

it had been the fourth day of his staying, that he came down in the morning to find his father on the couch. wrapped in one of loraines blankets, holding her photograph in his hand.

"dad?" neil muttered. charlie wasn't moving. neil sank to his knees, feeling his father's pulse.

despite it all, his features grew into a smile as he noticed the green apple in his father's other hand. he was holding it firmly, close to his heart. 

he was dead. charlie was dead. and it had taken him exactly fifty days to follow his beloved wife.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

"DAD?" LORI was poking his side and neil shook his head, quickly snapping out of the memory in his head

"sorry, sweetheart" he smiled apologetically "what did you say?"

"do you miss them?"

neil smiled at his daughter "oh, terribly" he nodded "but they're always with me"

after his parents death, neil had sold the house, but kept every scrap of important things. most importantly their letters to each other, the blankets loraine had made, the poems charlie had written for his wife.

everything they had kept from when they were children was store close to neil.

"how do you know?" lori was leaning against her father once again

"you just know, sweetheart, you'll always know" he assured "my parents were the best parents anyone could've had and because they were so good at being my parents, i know they would never leave me alone, not even if they aren't with us right now"

"what did they mean?" lori asked finally, after she had softly kissed her fathers cheek, wiping a few of his tears away "why did nana say that to papa in the hospital?"

"oh" neil smiled "back then i didn't know, but you're lucky dad told me"

lori smiled, and settled back in, getting ready for the last story of the night

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞
𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐝
𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝
𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐨, 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐨
𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐨, 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐨

welton academy, vermont, america, summer 1952

"HE'S LUCKY I'M not running straight to my father" loraine crossed her arms, watching the unknown boy climb the tree even higher

"you would never tell on someone" neil laughed next to her

"well, today that might change" she smiled "and he doesn't know that, does he?"

before neil could hold her back, loraine had gotten up from the picnic blanket and walked straight into the direction of the tree.

the brown-haired boy was still climbing without so much as a thought in his head, not noticing the girl approaching the tree

"before you unevitably fall to your death, make sure you bring an apple with you, green ones are my favourites" the boy turned his head at the sudden voice and smiled as he noticed the girl it belonged to

she had long blonde hair and brown eyes. the dress she was wearing was rather ugly, but it did not steal away from her obvious beauty, when he thought about it, the dress wasn't even as ugly when it was worn by her. she scrunched her nose as her eyes followed his every move and even from far away he could notice the freckles on her face

ultimately, charlie was sure that he had never seen a girl more beautiful. luckily he was witty enough to reply to her teasing "who even likes green apples?"

loraine was ready to throw something at him, already annoyed by that smug smile, but neil walked up next to her, having heard the exchange and honest and innocent as he was, he smiled up at the boy and answered. "loraine does"

"who's loraine?" charlie asked smiling, his eyes still fixated on the girl, as he effortlessly climbed down the tree, loraine had try too hard not to look impressed by that

"i am" she crossed her arms, annoyed at his unnecessary question

"hey" he grinned "i'm charlie" he turned to the boy next to loraine, raising his eyebrows

"i'm neil"

"it's nice to meet you, neil" charlie nodded "you too, loraine" without so much of another word, he draped one arm over each of their shoulders, pushing them into the direction of welton, a school that was supposedly going to form his future, as his father had told him.

neil and loraine were so surprised by charlie's actions that they didn't even protest as he walked them closer and closer to the school

"loraine" charlie mumbled "a rather long name, huh? did you ever think of going by a nickname?"

"everyone calls her lori" neil assisted and loraine send him a look

"we don't even know him, neil" she shook her head

"well" charlie smiled "now, you do" he paused, before he added "now you do, ray"

"i already hate you" loraine mumbled

"well, you better get used to that feeling" charlie smiled brightly "i fear you won't be getting rid of me anytime soon"

"i fear the same" loraine muttered, but it was drowned out by neils contagious laughter

they reached the doors of welton and charlie made a whole act of opening them for his two new friends, even bowing down when loraine walked in before him.

"i don't really know how to call the feeling i'm experiencing right now" loraine muttered unamused

"excitement" neil answered way too quickly, trying to make her feel better. and to his own surprise it worked.

both loraine and charlie started laughing. maybe the strange boy wasn't so strange after all, loraine thought, as neil watched both of them, proud he had been able to make them laugh.

the trees began to lose their leaves as the school year began and loraine stayed through it all, each and every year for the rest of her life, making them pass quicker than she was able to miss them.

because after all that had happened, all those years at welton, the sadness, happiness and peace she had witnessed and felt, the friendships she had made, the biggest loss she had to grieve, it had all been worth it in the end.

everything she had lost was so much smaller in comparison to what she had gained

and looking back at all these memories, loraine truly knew that the world did not end when she was ten, no, if anything, it had just begun to turn...

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