warnings: um... the title 😬

(3rd Person POV)

Eliza Porter has read many books in her seventeen years of life, ranging from fantasy to physics textbooks, but the one book that she wished existed, but didn't, was: 'What to do when you lose your best friend'.

She felt like she couldn't function as a human without him.

Her glasses that she hadn't worn in a year kept on falling down the bridge of her nose, irritating her to the max. Her room was clean, her body was healthier and in better shape, she started to maintain a schedule. She ate food and drank water, tried to sleep as much as she could.

But her mental health was completely destroyed. She would get angry at little things, always anxious, always distracted, always wanting someone to talk to. That someone being her best friend. And the nightmares were constant. Every single night, tormenting her mind.

The worst part of this whole situation was telling Aunt May and their friends.

Aunt May tried calling both Eliza and Peter's phones several times but neither of them answered. Finally, about a week after Peter's death, she picked up the phone.

She told her that she would come over in the afternoon to talk to her.

That day was also Eliza's first day of her senior year at Midtown Science and Technology. She had to go in and face her friends without him beside her.

On her first day she wore a pair of black jeans, a black shirt with a tiny rainbow on it, and one of Peter's plaid button up shirts, with rolled up sleeves. Her shorter hair also made her look a lot more intimidating than she actually was.

She hadn't left the Avengers compound in the last week, so the world felt kind of new to her.

When she walked in, it felt like everyone was staring at her.

She took a deep breath in, and silently walked through the hallways, towards her locker. Her heart beat was growing under all the attention. Ned approached her in the middle of her walk down the hallway, but she didn't meet his eyes.

"Eliza..." he trailed off. Eventually, she was forced to look at him in the eyes, and saw that his eyes were a little red too. What had she done?

By taking that one step towards Peter, she was the one who ultimately ended up getting him shot. Why would she take that step?

Quickly, she embraced him in a tight hug. This was very new to Ned, because usually she didn't voluntarily hug him, but he didn't really care.

She pulled back, "I'm so sorry Ned, I'm so sorry. H-how did you find out?"

"Um, I called Captain America. Which sounds literally so cool now that I say it out loud-" he said.

Eliza laughed lightly. "Yeah, it does sound pretty cool."

Her and Ned didn't have many classes together that day, so she was by herself. Again.

When she was in her science class, she kept glancing at the empty seat next to her, where Peter usually sat. They were supposed to have partners in math class, but Eliza didn't have one, so she did her calculus alone.

Apparently, whenever Ned was asked if he knew where Peter was by another kid, he just said that he went missing. Eliza appreciated that.

At lunch, she sat with Katie, MJ, and Ned. She was quiet the whole time, staring at the vacant seat in front of her. In her mind, she had flashbacks of him sitting there, telling his science jokes and blushing whenever his foot accidentally hit hers underneath the table.

"I'm not really hungry anymore," she muttered, and swung her legs over the bench they were all sitting at. Her pulse was at an abnormal rate, and her palms were all sweaty. She tried her best to walk steadily out of the cafeteria, but couldn't help but notice the way her fingers began to shake.

On her way out, someone caught her wrist, holding her back from the exit doors.

"Flash, I really can't deal with this right now," she said quietly. She could feel an anxiety attack approaching, and the last thing she needed was Flash judging her for wearing her glasses or her haircut.

"Porter, I just wanted to say I'm sorry." That was new. "He wasn't my favorite person in the world, but I hope he comes back."

That's the thing, he wasn't coming back.

Irrationally, Eliza flicked her hand so hard that he flipped over and fell onto his back. He groaned and let go of her wrist. She crouched down and whispered to him, "I don't care about your apology. Don't talk to me again or I'll break your nose."

Flash's eyes widened, and she stood back up.

One of the football guys muttered to his friends, thinking that no one could hear him, "Damn, her boyfriend goes missing and now she's all bitchy."

She turned around and punched the guy straight in the face, giving him a black eye and bloody nose.

"What the hell?!?" he exclaimed.

Eliza pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and backed away from the mess she had just created, already regretting it because of all the eyes on her.

"I-um, I-" she struggled to get the words out of her mouth. Everyone was looking at her like she was a monster because of what she had just done. And she hated it.

She started to breath heavily, her eyes darting around the room, not knowing what to do.

So she ran. She sprinted out of the cafeteria and out into the empty hallways. Her faced paced footsteps echoed throughout the walls. On her way out of the school, a locker covered in flowers caught her eye.

There was a picture of Peter taped to it, with a sign above that said, 'Come back.' Her breathing became more ragged. She gulped down some air and started running again. That school was full of too many memories.

Out into the streets of Queens, she escaped from the school, knowing the punishment she would receive from the principal later on. But she just couldn't do it.

She knew exactly where she was going, she was going to her apartment. No body would be there, she could be alone.

On her way, she passed Delmar's Deli, and made the mistake of looking through the glass. By memory, inside she saw Peter ordering a Number five and gummy worms, with her standing next to him, petting Murph. But when she blinked the memory dissolved.

When she was almost to the apartment building, she glanced up at a near by roof and saw Spiderman with his mask halfway off, munching on a sandwich. But then he disappeared.

She thought she was going insane. Why was he everywhere?

As fast as she could, she ran up the stairs and up to her flat, scrambling to get her keys and open the door. To anyone else around her, they would have thought that she was being chased by someone. Which was half true; her mind was running after itself, tripping over all her mistakes.

Eliza opened the door to her empty apartment, thinking it would be a safe haven because no body else was around.

But she was wrong.

When she got inside, she closed her eyes and tried to slow down her breathing, but nothing was happening. The same pulsing in her brain was all she heard. Her eyes peeled open and fell on the dining table. Where just a week and a half earlier, her and Peter were eating waffles and joking around together.

"You make me happy."

His eyes softened, "You make me happy too."

Eliza shook her head rapidly and stumbled towards her room. Her head was spinning. Her glasses fell to the floor as she crossed the threshold into her room. She was wrong. This was one of the worst places for her to be.

All around her, photos of Peter were taped up on the wall. Only a few of them together, because thats what happens when you have a best friend. She spun around the room, running a hand through her hair. She was walking backwards toward the window, her eyes terrified of all the memories. Sweat beaded on her forehead.

For some odd reason, her window was open. While she backed up, she thought she would hit the window pane, but she ended up falling backwards onto the fire escape. Her back hit the fire escape's metal barred floors, and got knocked the wind out of her.

That really didn't help her breathing patterns.

Her converse that she was wearing were all dirty, and the button up shirt was discarded somewhere along her journey up the stairs.

She put the palms of her hands on the cold metal and backed up, leaning against the railing with her head in between her knees. Her hands were on the back of her head, racking her brain to find a way to calm down.

But her mind was blank. All she could focus on was the pulse of her pounding headache.

Suddenly she heard a phone ringing. But it wasn't her regular phone, it was one that she kept in her pocket at all times, just for emergencies. With her eyebrows knitted in confusion, she slowly pulled the phone out of her back pocket, like it was a bomb.

"H-hello?" she asked, her bottom lip trembling from the previous endeavour of trying to slow her breathing. 

A familiar voice filled her ear. "Eliza darling? Is that you?"

She sighed in relief, "Tom."

"You sound like you're out of breath," he chuckled.

"Yeah...um I was just...running," she lied.

There was a moment of silence. "Eliza you and I both know that you would never run unless the food delivery guy was knocking at the door."

"Hey-"

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"I-I wasn't-"

"Anyways," he continued. Eliza was so confused, why had he even called her in the first place? "Lilah and I told everyone a few weeks ago, and I thought I would let you know." She could hear his smile through the phone.

She sighed, "That's great Tom, I'm really happy for you."

"Yeah yeah, but she wants to talk to you, so here." There was some shuffling around on the other side of the phone.

"Hi!" a woman said, her voice sounded exactly like Eliza's own. That messed with her brain even more, but then she remembered that Eliza was basically the fictional version of Lilah.

"Hey, so I heard that you and the british guy got together. Question, does he host tea parties?" Eliza asked jokingly.

"Yes," she laughed, "yes he does. He gathers up all his old stuffed animals and puts them around a table."

"That's what I thought." Eliza ran a hand through her hair, grateful that someone had contacted her before she had a full on meltdown.

"Anyways, what's going on with you?" Lilah asked.

"Um..." she debated telling them about Peter's death, but she didn't really know anyone else who would understand. She let out a shaky breath, "Y-you know how Tom told me about Thanos and all that stuff? And how P-Peter and I died."

Lilah's voice lowered a bit. "Yeah, I do."

"Well Peter kind of...h-he..." she trailed off, not even able to finish her sentence.

But Lilah seemed to understand, "Oh my god Eliza I'm so sorry."

Eliza stayed silent, trying not to cry.

"Eliza? You there?"

"Um, yeahyeahyeah, I-I'm here," she said quietly.

"Hey, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here. And so is Tom, but he's kind of busy watching his own movies," she said.

Eliza laughed and sniffled a little, "Thanks Lilah."

"Anytime," she could hear her smile through the phone, "Oh shit—we have to go to the premiere. It was really nice talking to you Eli, bye!"

She chuckled and hung up the phone, staring up at the sky. Although right above her was the Parker's apartment. She sighed and got up to her feet, deciding to finally face Aunt May.

When she climbed up to Peter's window, she was surprised to find it unlocked. She slid the window open and stepped into his room, immediately engulfed by his apple pie and cinnamon scent. She almost dropped to her knees right then and there just at the smell.

Something caught her eye, it was a little sim card on his desk, reflecting off of the sunlight coming through the window.

She walked over to his desk and picked the small item up, turning it over. On the back, in the smallest handwriting Peter could have ever written, it said: 'my video diaries'.

It was the most cliche thing ever, he sounded like a stereotypical teenage girl.

Eliza looked around his room for the camera she bought him, and found it sitting on a stack of textbooks. She shuffled over to it and put the sim card in. Immediately, a video began to play on the tiny screen. She sat down on the edge of his bed and watched.

It was the video from when they were in Germany.

"IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED. So Mr. Stark was like, 'Hey Underoos!' and Eliza and I just sort of flipped in, and I stole Cap's shield, and then I was like 'hEy wHaTs uP eVeRyBoDy???'"

Eliza laughed, tilting her head back into the air. After that clip was over, it played the montage Peter and her made together at the beginning of the trip. All the sites of Germany, standing in front of a few landmarks, Peter zooming in really close on Eliza's face.

The screen shifted into a scene, where Spiderwoman was standing on top of a roof, and the intro of Take On Me was playing. She remembered this day, her and Peter recreated a bunch of vines.

So when the beat dropped, Eliza turned around and smiled underneath her mask, doing finger guns.

There was another clip, Peter was sitting at her desk at the compound, and he zoomed the camera in on Eliza, who was on her bed reading a book intensely. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, and she was chewing on her bottom lip.

"ELIZA!!!" Peter screamed abruptly, scaring the shit out of her. The book she was reading flew up into the air and landed on her head. "Wow, that was something straight out of a sitcom."

"Not funny!" she yelled.

"Okay McJagger," he chuckled.

Another clip.

Peter was holding the camera in selfie mode, with a big giant smile on his face.

"Alright, I just found this necklace for my future wife," he held up the necklace that he had gotten Eliza for Christmas to the camera. "Eh? wHaT dO yOu tHiNk???? I'm talking to a camera. Dammit Peter no one's gonna answer you."

Tears formed in Eliza's eyes, he had called her his future wife.

Before she could go any deeper into a pit of despair and grief, the front door to the apartment opened, and Aunt May shuffled inside, keys in hand.

Quickly, Eliza put the camera down and ran out of Peter's bedroom.

"Eliza?" May asked, surprised that she was in the apartment.

"May," she breathed. Running up to her and gave her a warm hug, Eliza thought about how much she had missed Aunt May in the past week. "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry."

"Eliza you have to tell me what's going on," she whispered.

----------------------------------------

(Peter's POV)

My eyes peeled open, and were met with a bright white light. At first I thought that I was dead and going to heaven or some type of shit like that, but it was just a flashlight that someone was waving around.

"Oh good, the white boy is alive," a feminine voice said.

I think the only emotion I felt at that moment, was confused.

Where was I? What time is it? Why did my head hurt so much? Who was the girl that I had seen while I was... maybe I was asleep?

Frantically, I sat up, but was pulled back by a bunch of wires connected to my face and arms. I think I scared the girl who was next to me, because she shrieked and backed up. I glanced at her, she had space buns in her hair, dark skin, and also a tablet in her hands.

That wasn't the girl I had seen while I was asleep though. So who was it?

A man I recognized as Bucky came running into the, I think lab, we were in. It was really advanced, there was a lot of technology around me.

"Oh thank god you're not dead, Eliza is going to be so happy," Bucky said.

Who? I recognized that name, but who was it?

"Alright here's the deal," the girl said, "My name is Shuri by the way, Eliza's told me a lot about you." Again, I was still really fuzzy on that name. "Anyways, you were shot in the head, although you were only dead for about ten minutes," she laughed. Why was she laughing? She just said that I got shot in the head. "But then you were in a coma for about a week."

She muttered something to Bucky, which I made out as, "The bullet may or may not have hit his amygdala, so there are some things that he might not remember."

"Are you saying that he has amnesia?" Bucky asked, glaring at her.

"No, and don't look at me like that, I literally just brought the boy back from the dead for fucks sake," Shuri rolled her eyes.

"Well I'm going to go call Steve and ask him to bring Eliza here," Bucky said.

Finally, I decided to speak up. "Who is Eliza?"

A/N- y'all really thought- AHHAHSHDKAHKSHDK but anyways, no. peter doesn't have amnesia.