Nimis

Too Much

Jungkook, bubbling with excitement, kneeled in between Taehyung's legs and laid on top of him, pressing them together, Jungkook's ear pressed against Taehyung's chest hearing his heartbeat and Taehyung hugging him around the waist tightly.

Jungkook sighed, content, comfortable, and feeling like he might fall asleep.

- How much time do we have? - He murmured sleepily, Taehyung's heartbeat was like a lullaby.

Taehyung hugged him tighter with arms and legs and his voice was but a whisper.

- One hour. -

It hit Jungkook then, how utterly painful it will be to leave. It got harder every time they were together but something about tonight made it nearly impossible to leave now. He felt so entirely attached to Taehyung both physically and emotionally that leaving him for any length of time would be like leaving his entire heart behind, leaving it out in the open, leaving himself exposed for anyone to hurt him. Another pang in the chest.

He felt so different than before he came here today, aside from the attachment, he had been feeling so comfortable in his skin, so comfortable with the mischievous and sensual part of himself he never knew he could have. He had been so comfortable with all of himself that it tired him just thinking about going outside and having to lie even heavier than before, having to hide every single part of himself he was unraveling with Taehyung.

Having to lie, hide, pretend, act the character, it all seemed so hard to do after tonight. He understands himself so much better now that it just hurts having to hide the wonder he discovered. For the first time in his life, he wanted to tell anyone who listened just how wonderful it was to be in love and be loved and how amazing it felt to be physically involved with the person he adored. He wanted to tell his friends and for them to be happy about him.

But he couldn't.

- Kooky? - Taehyung's concerned voice brought him back and made him realize that he had started crying silently.

- I'm fine...? -

Taehyung turned them to the side, placing Jungkook between himself and the back of the couch, and held his face to make him look up at him with his watery eyes.

- What is it? - He asked softly, wiping his tears away. Jungkook closed his eyes at the beautiful contact and hid his face in Taehyung's neck. - What's on your mind, my Love? - He asked softly again, full of worry and holding Jungkook close with one hand behind his head and the other around his waist. Jungkook took a deep breath and swallowed the obstruction in his throat to answer in a murmur.

- Injustice. -

Taehyung's head got closer to his and Jungkook felt so safe right where he was, protected by Taehyung's bigger and stronger frame, protected by his hold, and, most of all, his love.

- I have never felt so much love in my life. - He whispered and his voice betrayed him when it broke at the end. Taehyung caressed his waist up and down and it successfully calmed him down. - I... I don't... I don't know... - He took a deep breath and gave up. - I'm just overwhelmed, don't worry. -

About the whole thing, about being in love for the first time and being loved like this as well and how it was with someone he had to hide with. But he doesn't know what to say out loud, maybe it was the tiredness or the denial but, as his heartbeat got faster, his brain just started to go on and on with everything wrong and everything right and all there was in between that his tired mind was having difficulty stopping.

- I think I might understand why you could be feeling overwhelmed right now. - Taehyung said, his voice low as he hugged him close. - Tell me, what can I do to make it better? - Taehyung was so selfless it hurt Jungkook's heart, he still had some difficulty believing this wonderful person was meant for him so suddenly.

Jungkook grabbed Taehyung by the collar in his attempt at getting closer as his mind was bombarded with "Can you obliterate the aberration towards men like us?" "Can you make everyone realize that there can be people who can love the same gender without being mentally ill?" "Can you promise me that my friends will still love me even if I try to tell them about us?" His brain just went on and on showing him pictures that he didn't want to see but he couldn't stop seeing. And in the end, Jungkook took a deep breath and tried to just ignore it all, the uncomfortable way his heart was beating along with the unstoppable thoughts and memories, was hard to ignore, but in Taehyung's arms, he managed it.

- Just hold me and change the subject, please. - He then went limp in his comfortable place, the tiredness as overwhelming as everything else in his mind. However, it was warm and safe where he was, he had Taehyung's bicep as a pillow and the other was caressing his waist up and down, and he was so tired, he could feel it all now that the high was gone. Today he had used his brain so much he just didn't want to use it anymore.

Taehyung sighed and kissed him on the forehead, then he made Jungkook gently get out of his hiding place and look him in the eyes. Taehyung was smiling.

- If that's what you want. - And they just looked at each other for a moment, gazing at each other, swimming in the stars of their eyes, caressing their faces with their lovely stares. The connection felt so real. For the second time, Jungkook could almost feel like it was something physical. - What do you want to talk about? - Taehyung whispered to not break the moment.

Jungkook giggled silently, exhausted.

- I've thought so much today. I'm working on fumes here. You choose. - They both laughed silently and Taehyung stopped his hand on his waist and held it.

- How bad, now I'm curious to know what you thought today. - He looked down jokingly disappointed and Jungkook huffed and grimaced with a chuckle. Maybe he could squeeze his brain so he could answer Taehyung if he really wanted to know.

Jungkook took a breath and used the little thought supply he had left.

- About whether or not there are communities of people who can love more than one gender and whether that could mean the belief that each gender has to have a specific kind of brain for it to be deemed healthy could be completely accurate, creating the question of whether people like us are the exception to the rule or there's no rule at all and it's all... just a big conspiracy theory... That's what I was thinking most of the day, and also about the... others, mmmmy head hurts. - He grimaced and closed his eyes tightly.

- Shhhh... - Taehyung shushed him softly and brought his hand up to rub at his temple with one finger and smooth his worried lines with another. And he went on and on with calming shushing sounds passing his fingers feather-touch over Jungkook's features until Jungkook was on the brink of a very comfortable sleep, then he withdrew it and held his waist again. - I think I can now see why you choose philosophy. - Taehyung started in a low voice and Jungkook knew he couldn't fall asleep so he tried to open his eyes and keep them open as he paid attention. - You think so much, my Love. It's truly a wonder to behold hearing you talk about what's in your head. - He smiled adoringly at him and Jungkook for a moment wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not. - I got the impression that you... write? - Taehyung asked with hopeful eyes and a bright little smile and Jungkook smiled and his eyes closed. Then he tried to answer as best as he could.

- Yes. - His voice dragged a little. - I have'a... aaaaa shelf in my-- no wait, it was... I brought... How many did I bring? All of them, right? Yeah'I think it was all'f them... My... notebooks... - His voice trailed away...

- Kooky. -

- Yeah? - His eyes opened up immediately in slight alarm and, when he noticed he'd nearly fallen asleep, he rubbed his fingers against his eyes to see if it would help, but his head was starting to protest the lack of sleep. His exhaustion could also be because he hadn't eaten anything since lunch. He's been skipping dinner since... he can't remember.

- Kooky, if you want to sleep--

- I don't want to go. - Jungkook opened his eyes and grabbed Taehyung by the collar again, feeling like he will be taken forcibly away at any second and hating that feeling.

Taehyung looked just as reluctant as he was. Neither of them wanted to be separated.

- I don't want you to go. - And he even looked sad when he said it, holding Jungkook's waist like Jungkook was holding his collar. At the same time, they both leaned forward to connect their foreheads, and Taehyung sighed. - If I'm being honest... I feel like I might start crying. - And he tried to get closer to Jungkook, to hold him tight, never wanting to let go. Jungkook softly shook his head and brought a hand up to Taehyung's cheek.

- No, Tae. - He whispered. - If you do then I would start crying and then neither would let go. - He felt an obstruction in his throat despite his words. - And we both know we have to let go. - Taehyung took in a shaky breath and Jungkook got slightly alarmed and desperate, his head protesting harder. - Come on, let's remember we'll see tomorrow. You always tell me this, we'll see later, ..."we have endless tomorrows ahead of us" isn't that right, Tae? - Taehyung nodded, but despite Jungkook's efforts, he leaned down and hid his face on Jungkook's neck, shaking with silent sobs as he hugged Jungkook with one arm like his life depended on it. And just like Jungkook had said, he started crying as well, now with a headache but caring more about Taehyung at the moment.

- We do have endless tomorrows ahead of us. - Taehyung said with a shaky little voice, trying to breathe deeply to calm himself down. - I'm sorry. I just... I love you so much... - He took deep breaths and Jungkook felt like his heart might just explode. - God. I hate having to say this. - Taehyung said angrily and leaned his face away so they could look at the other's tearing eyes. - If we wait much longer... it will just be more painful. - Jungkook understood and agreed, he also hated it but he knew it was for the best so he nodded and made the first strongest effort when he slowly started to sit up.

Taehyung followed him as well, sitting up and turning so his feet were on the ground. And Jungkook saw while he placed his own feet on the ground how Taehyung placed his face in his hands, elbows on his knees. And Jungkook thought of hugging him. But he leaned down and put on his shoes. Then he got up, and Taehyung, getting up as well, hugged him tight.

- I know we'll see tomorrow. I know. So I have no idea why I'm reacting or feeling this way. - Taehyung said, frustrated. Jungkook wrapped his arms around his neck, his brain was going a sickly mile an hour but he managed to talk normally.

- I'm just as unknowing as you are, Tae. - A pain in his temples made him grimace. - But... I do think I need to sleep. - He murmured, feeling his legs tingly but not in any good way. Taehyung leaned back to look at him and nodded, face determined not to get sad again.

- Ok. - Then when he was about to let go of Jungkook, he stopped and looked around with a slight frown. - If the cameras see we were in darkness all this time... - He thought out loud, but it just made Jungkook think as well and he groaned as he looked at the tall ceiling.

- If you could just turn on the ones in the living room, the light won't be able to be seen from below the door because it's too far, so once you open the door, the cameras will see we were there the whole time. - And then he closed his eyes, his forehead hurting.

- Brilliant. - Taehyung whispered and kissed his cheek before going to the kitchen, and Jungkook followed too, feeling like his steadiness was failing him a little but managing to walk normally.

He was trying as hard as he could to stay in the present and not dwell on all the things he felt overwhelmed about. Taehyung looked at the switches on the wall beside the kitchen and then turned one on, and Jungkook's idea was right.

Jungkook went to the kitchen counter where his bag was and he held himself there for a moment.

There was a cold feeling spreading through his body, making it all worse. He grabbed his bag and turned around, only to be pressed against the counter as Taehyung kissed him. And for a moment it worked, his head wasn't hurting and he was feeling fine, kissing back just as lovingly, saying goodbye with his lips and no words, but the second Taehyung leaned away and let go of him, Jungkook opened his eyes and felt the full force of his tiredness coming back to him. But he took a deep breath and went to the door where Taehyung was.

However, before Taehyung opened it, he looked at him and frowned.

- How's your head? - Taehyung asked, worried. Jungkook looked up at him and tried to remain calm and collected.

- Hurting like a bitch. -

Despite himself, Taehyung chuckled, making Jungkook grin. But then Taehyung neared him and kissed him on the temple.

- You get to your room and go straight to bed, alright? - Taehyung told him softly and Jungkook smiled, giggling a little as he leaned on Taehyung.

- Oh, no, I'm gonna party all night, you'll see. - He said sarcastically, and they both chuckled. Taehyung gave him one last kiss on the temple and then leaned back to open the door.

The full force of the light hit them both but only Jungkook staggered backward a little. However, just as fast, he started walking forwards to the elevators.

Jungkook's brain was going crazy, he was so tired that he couldn't control what he thought anymore and so, behind his eyes, there were memories of everything. From his classes to what was happening one hour ago as well as conversations: the one he had with Namjoon, the one he had with Tom, the one he had with his father, and the one he had with Taehyung. It was all so scrambled, it was dizzying in the light, and he had to hold on to the wall while they waited for the elevator, or else his legs might give out. The moment they opened he just made a turn and was on his corner as always, beneath the camera. Taehyung got in, went to his corner, and the doors closed.

He turned slightly with his head down and made eye contact with Taehyung all the way down, just looking at each other as much as they could. But then Jungkook grimaced at the pain in his head and Taehyung's eyebrows went up in deep worry. In what seemed like no time at all the doors were opening up again.

And Evans was right there, waiting for the elevators.

- Oh, for fucks sake. - Jungkook swore out loud, angrily and shocked, while his insides started to scream at him to run, to hide, to attack, to get away.

He wanted to scream in panic and fright and he was so tired and so emotional and so overwhelmed and he couldn't exhale, and he couldn't breathe in. He walked past that man like it was nothing, trying to make it nothing, but then Evans grabbed him by the wrist.

- Hey. - His voice cut across Jungkook like a knife held to the neck, and he froze. - You seem to have forgotten me, Jungkook. -

How... disgusting those words felt, Jungkook remembered how that man had used them too many times before and he felt like getting sick. The polished floor couldn't distract him from the pain in his wrist, that man's hand was too damn big and too damn strong and Jungkook wanted to cry and scream for help. He felt himself shaking, his character's mask holding on by a single thread.

- Mr. Evans. - Taehyung's voice came out from behind him, strong and determined. - He's my student. Let go. -

Jungkook couldn't understand anything that wasn't the screams in his head, having physical contact with this man made him want to burn his own skin, he was touching the hand that beat that other kid to pieces, he had to run, to hide, that couldn't happen to him, no, no, not this man, no, let him go. His body was frozen, his mouth shut, and he was so terrified that he couldn't run away, why couldn't he move?

- You're not teaching him good enough if he hasn't understood a word of it. Kids like this need to be taught differently than others, Mr. Kim. - His voice was professional while he talked with Taehyung, but his hand... his hand was getting tighter, and Jungkook couldn't take it, Jungkook couldn't take the physical and mental pain, he couldn't, he wanted to scream, but his throat was closed up, the pain was getting unbearable, he could feel his obstructed pulse in his palpitating hand. Why couldn't he scream? Why couldn't he move? What's wrong with him? - You're a good man if you've been trying to teach him on your first week here, but he's a special case and sometimes more straightforward methods need to be taken. -

His voice was so calm, why was his voice so calm when he was hurting him right in front of Taehyung? It hurt, it hurt, he didn't want it, no. The pain was so much, in memories and body, that he finally grimaced as he looked at the floor, and the grimace made his legs shake, and he fell to his knees with a little and almost inaudible sob, while his wrist was still being grabbed painfully over his head. He closed his eyes tightly and his other hand went to his elbow and tugged. A futile effort. His body was too tired to fight.

- Evans, let go. - Taehyung said more sternly this time but still in his place.

- He's learning what he'll get if he tries to pass a Professor without a proper greeting next time. You're too soft on your students. -

Jungkook had one moment, one single moment where the alarms in his head stopped blundering all over the place and just concentrated on a single thing, one single target: Get out of here.

The fear was such that in one single immensely strong tug, he managed to painfully liberate himself from Evans' grasp, and, with shaky legs, he ran away towards the door like there was a gun pointing at his back. The only thing he could hear was a ringing sound in his ears as he got to the door and wrenched it open. He could only feel fear as he ran away, his legs moving on their own to take him out of there, away from there, he had no idea where he was going he just wanted to run to his room and hide in his bathroom until a maid called him for dinner with his family.

A cold night, an angry stare, a tall broad back man turning around menacingly slow, something clenched in his fists, Jungkook running, and running, and running away and up the stairs, his throat closing at the fear, no air could get in and no scream could get out but he ran and ran until he locked his bedroom door, his bathroom door, his closet's door, and hid, waited, feared.

He stumbled and fell to the red-carpeted floor. He managed to stop his fall with his hands, and, terrified, he looked behind him.

No one there.

He looked around the corridor and... he didn't know where he was. He crawled to the nearest wall and let himself sit against it for a while, shaking uncontrollably. He needed to calm down or else he'll have an attack. He tried closing his eyes but all he saw in the darkness was a man nearing him silently to hurt him, so he couldn't close them. His chest was heaving, he was panting, he could feel cold sweat over his forehead and the back of his neck, his heart was going too fast and he tried to calm it down because he knew that nothing good would happen if he let his heart go that fast.

He tried to think of Taehyung so he could calm himself, but all that brought was the thought of how he had left him behind with that man. And thinking of Taehyung also brought all the other memories and thoughts he wanted to avoid, the fear of the future, the fear of uncertainty, the fear of the impossibility.

"No, please, don't".

He had to remember that Taehyung was strong and brave, that he stood up to Evans. But thinking of Evans was no good for him so instead he thought of... of the wall in front of him, yes, the wall, a wall of Evanthe, his parents' university--... He really couldn't calm down, could he?

An obstruction was forming in his throat at the sudden memory he had before, the one that made him lose his balance.

He had absolutely no idea where that memory came from, he couldn't even tell if it was even a memory or not, it felt so vivid but at the same time, he couldn't remember when that happened to him or if it even happened to him at all. That man in his memory didn't look like his father... did he? No, no, he wasn't sure, he couldn't remember, he can't remember something like that, something like that never happened to him, that can't be a memory.

"The wall, the wall, think of the wall".

Jungkook counted in his head as he breathed deeply feeling how frightened tears fell from his eyes. One... two... three... four... five... His wrist hurt a lot... One... two... three... He misses Taehyung. His chest was hurting... One... two... What if Evans was looking for him? What if his father was looking at him right now? What if the men in suits that were following Taehyung earlier were looking for him? What if Evans wanted to hurt him like he did to his son? What if his father allowed it? What if... Where is he? What is this place? What if he was goated there? To that secluded area? What... What if... How's Taehyung? Will something happen to him? What if... What... Who... Why... When... Where...

Jungkook couldn't breathe, everything around him seemed to be closing in, the fear paralyzed him and he wanted to run. He was trapped inside his own body and he couldn't do anything even if someone came to hurt him. He couldn't breathe. He fell sideways onto the carpet and he knew he was alone, with no one to help him, no one to hear him, no Taehyung to protect him. And he was about to die, he couldn't breathe, the fear wouldn't let him breathe, and he knew it was just a matter of seconds before he died.

"It's just a panic attack, Jungkook. You're not dying."

The air broke through his throat like a knife at the sound of Taehyung's voice in his head and he held that breath in for dear life, looking around with bulging red eyes to assess if there was any physical danger around.

"Breathe, Jungkook. You can breathe, come on, you can do it."

Slowly he let go of the breath he had, and took one in again, reassured by Taehyung. And, little by little he took more breaths in.

"That's right, breathe. In... and out... Good. That's good, Jungkook. Now try to relax your muscles."

Lying there on the floor, he tried to move his limbs. But they were so heavy, and his head was so painful, he just wanted to shut down right there. He felt cold and attacked all over and, little by little, he wrapped his arms around himself, turning into a ball there on the cold floor.

"Don't leave me" He begged Taehyung's voice in his head, but it was just a voice of memories, not him, so no one answered, and he let the tears fall as they may.

After he had no idea how long, he moved again, trying to sit up so then he could get up and try to go to his room. But when he sat he felt so much nausea he couldn't continue. He placed a hand over his mouth and tried to breathe in and out so he wouldn't vomit, and with half-closed eyes, he looked around to try and figure out where he was, he could feel his backpack miraculously still on his shoulder but, with the terrible headache, he doubted he could read anything from the Map Book, much less understand it. He couldn't figure out where he was in the slightest so, very tremulously, tiredly, and painfully he got up from the floor, holding on to the wall. And, still holding on to the wall, he walked to the closest end of the corridor.

But even if he looked around and around, he still had not a single idea where he was. So with the terrible sensation that he would throw up at any second, he turned around and went back the way he came, trying to find a place he remembered so he could start from there.

He walked and walked, and the tears just fell from his uncaring tired eyes as he wrapped an arm around himself and shook every time he sobbed silently. The fear clung to him like a second skin and he hated having to look around himself every ten seconds because it wasn't helping with nausea. There was absolutely no one around, and that terrified him.

He walked more and more, feeling like he might just faint right then and there, and he found a bathroom before he found a place he could recognize. In his desperation to get to it fast so he could splash his face with some water, nausea got way worse and he ended up vomiting on a toilet. He hadn't eaten anything since lunch and now he had less than nothing in his stomach while he rinsed his mouth thoroughly. The sensation of emptiness in his stomach was disgusting. This night just went from bad to worse.

He had to get to his bed. The image of himself waking up on the floor the next morning while students passed by was... He didn't want that to happen, so he just kept walking.

To his terrifying horror, the moment he rounded the next corner there were, diagonally from him, the doors to the Professors' Living Area. He froze where he was. The Students' Living Area was on the other side of here, he would never make it, but students weren't allowed to pass the night in the Professors' living area. But he was about to faint. But Evans could still be there. But Taehyung was there too.

A strangled, desperate sob broke through him as he held onto that corner.

He went forwards. He physically couldn't walk to his room and he would get sick if he slept on the floor. With weak but determined strides, he got to the door, and then... couldn't open it.

He sobbed and his forehead fell against the black glass. He couldn't look inside, but with the side of his fist, he punched the glass. Not to break it, but because his arms physically couldn't do much else. Maybe another teacher could open it to see what was making the noise and he could tackle them out of the way and run to Taehyung's room...

He couldn't even stand up right now without needing to hold onto something, he had no hope of even walking right now, if any other teacher that wasn't Taehyung came to open the door, there was no way he would get in.

But still, he punched the glass again, greeting his teeth at the terrifying thought of Evans coming to open it himself, and still punching it again. His head hurt, everything hurt, and his forehead felt hot against the cold glass. Another punch. He needed something for the ache, and his stomach too, he needed food and sleep. He needed a fucking hug. One more punch and he felt himself going numb all over, his muscles giving up. But he couldn't, he needed to get out of the cold night, if he stayed there he would get sick. Weakly he gave another punch, and his arms fell to each side of him, the only real thing keeping him upright was his forehead against the glass, and his face went blank of any emotion as he thought that maybe no one could hear him, and he will faint in this cold corridor wrapped in nothing but overwhelming pain and fear.

Right when his eyes were about to close, the door abruptly opened and he fell forwards, but the person who opened the door grabbed him and steadied him.

- Jungkook? - That voice...

- ...Oliver? - He whispered, his eyes unable to open fully but he turned his face up. It was indeed Oliver, and even in his fifties, his hold was strong and steady. And his wise gray eyes were full of worry as he looked at him.

- What happened, my boy? - His hands on his shoulders held him tighter and Jungkook shook his head, he couldn't... he needed help but, how could he ask? What was it he needed? He needed... he... - Jungkook. - Olived called him again, but he couldn't talk, he didn't know what to say.

- Jungkook? - Another worried voice, his beautiful voice, and then hurried steps.

- Taehyung. - Was all he managed to sob in his little voice, eyes closed, head tormented.

- I'm here. - Taehyung said hurriedly but didn't put a hand on him. - What happened, Oliver? -

- I don't know. When I opened the door to see what it was, he fell in. - The bright light and hurried voices were too much for him, he wanted quiet, he wanted to sleep, he wanted his headache to go away. Jungkook shook his head and placed a hand on his forehead, his wrist hurting as he did so. - What happened to your wrist, Jungkook? - He swallowed, he couldn't answer, he couldn't open his eyes. - Is someone following you? -

Is someone following him? Hurriedly he opened his eyes and looked behind himself, but the door was closed. Panting he looked in front of him at the taller men he had closed up. Holding him was Oliver and, by his side, Taehyung, but by the other... Professor Evans.

Jungkook flinched and staggered backward, away from him, until his back hit hard against the back glass doors and, by instinct, he made himself into a ball on the floor, shaking and weak, waiting for a kick to the stomach.

- You see? - Taehyung's angry voice boomed through the reception area. - You see what your fucking teaching methods do to people? -

- Jungkook, it's alright. - Oliver tried to calm him, kneeling in front of him.

- Why is he even here if he's so fucking afraid of me, huh? He makes no sense. I'm sure he's just doing it for attention. -

- Don't you fucking dare, Evans, I swear. -

- Hey, you two, knock it off. You're not doing him any good. -

- This is exactly the reason why the new generations are so disrespectful. Is because of men like you two who baby them instead of instructing them. If he needs help, why doesn't he ask for it then? Because he's so used to getting it easily, because kids like him are brats who are used to getting everything they want. And look at you two, giving him the attention he wanted. If you continue this way, he's not going to learn anything, Taehyung. -

- As I've told you already, Evans, I believe in teaching something in the long run. What matters is the longer you try, the better results you get. If you just go at it violently, they will learn nothing but fear. And being feared is nothing like being respected. -

- I agree with Taehyung, Alexander. We can't tell you how to teach your students, just like you can't tell us how to teach ours. -

- It's going to bite your asses in the future. Pampering children instead of teaching them how to be grown-ups. That's why I teach my students this way because it's the way the world does it and it's the way it has to be for respectable grown people to run the country the right way. -

- Well, thank you for telling me that. Now I understand a lot of things better about this country. -

- Don't you dare disrespect the country that took you in like it was your own, Asian. -

- Don't you dare assume that it has, English man. -

- You two sound like children. Alexander, go. Taehyung and I will sort this out. Jungkook is our student. -

- Very well, I'll go. But if I find a reason or opportunity to teach this young one--

- You will leave him alone or you'll answer to me. - Taehyung threatened, and Jungkook little by little could understand more the words that he heard as his breathing slowed. The next thing he heard were footsteps getting away from them. - Oliver, tell me the truth, is he abusive to the students? - The word "abuse" made Jungkook flinch, and he heard footsteps nearing him.

- I have no idea. No one has ever made any complaint, no parent has ever come here to defend a child, and no student has ever said anything of the sort. -

- But with the way he grabbed Jungkook... Oliver, look at his wrist. That wasn't the first time he hurt a student, I'm sure of it. -

- We can only file a complaint if Jungkook wants to. And I don't think he's in any fit state to make that kind of decision now. -

- Jungkook. - Taehyung called him, and his body responded on its own, lifting his head slowly from his knees to see if there was no danger. - He's gone. - Taehyung's soft voice reassured him as he kneeled beside him, and he looked miserably up at his eyes. Taehyung frowned, heavily worried. - Do you think you're gonna be sick? -

Jungkook swallowed and tried to clear his throat.

- I already have. - He whispered, and Oliver's worried face came into view.

- You couldn't walk to your room? - Oliver asked.

- I got lost. -

Taehyung neared a hand and felt his forehead with the back of his fingers and Jungkook felt a tear sliding down his cheek. He needed his touch but Oliver was there.

- You need aspirin and sleep. - Taehyung said surely, and Jungkook nodded weakly as Taehyung retreated his hand.

- But you can't take any medication with an empty stomach. - Oliver shook his head. - What happened to you, Jungkook? For you to get like this? You can tell us. - He put a hand on his shoulder and Jungkook looked down at the floor, doing as he was told because he couldn't do anything else.

- Professor Evans scared me, I ran away and got lost. - He made a pause then as he remembered. - I got a panic attack. - The hand on his shoulder went tense. - When it passed I got sick and went back the way I left because I got lost. And I can't walk anymore. - His body ached all over and his head was buzzing with uncontrollable thoughts and memories, it was all he could do not to faint where he was.

- Ok, this is what we're going to do. - Oliver started. - He clearly can't go to his room and he needs medical care so this will be completely justified. Taehyung, you take him to your room and lay him on the couch while I go to Poppy on the hospital wing. -

- Ok. - Taehyung nodded and grabbed Jungkook by the shoulders while Oliver stood up and opened the door to then leave. - Jungkook, can you stand? If not, I can carry you. - Taehyung said softly and Jungkook just nodded at the floor.

Taehyung waited for a moment but when Jungkook didn't do anything else, he moved and swiftly carried Jungkook, one arm around his back and one holding his legs, and Jungkook, feeling an avalanche of comfort at being on Taehyung's hold, let his head fall to his shoulder, and he knew no more.

- Jungkook? - A soft voice called him from his sleep. - Jungkook. - The voice called again, but it was... not Taehyung, it was not a man. A woman? - Can you hear me, Jungkook? -

As his hearing got clearer his senses were getting sharper, as well as the fear from earlier. Where was he? Who was she? What was going on? At the impending fear of danger, he got startled and his eyes flew open.

A stranger in a doctor's robe was looking down at him, and he lost it. His body acted on its own and he jumped forward and out of the couch he was in, but Taehyung caught him straight into his chest holding his arms tightly with his hands to keep him there. And Jungkook froze with his hands in fists close to his own chest and his face turned the other way from the other people in the room, he just didn't know how much more fear he could take without snapping.

- He's shaking. - Taehyung said worriedly but trying to stay as steady as his hands were holding him.

- You said he had a panic attack? - The woman asked, sounding professionally serious.

- Yes. - Oliver answered. - He said Evans frightened him and he ran away, then he said he got lost and he had a panic attack and that's why he got sick. -

- Do any of you know if the panic attack was due to Professor Evans frightening him or him getting lost? -

- It was Evans. - Taehyung answered, not making any attempt on taking Jungkook away from him. - It had happened before when he got into a fight and I was taking him with the other student to the headmaster. -

- He had a panic attack for going to his father? - Oliver asked, perplexed.

- His father's the headmaster? - The woman asked, just as bewildered.

- I told you about him, Poppy. - Oliver reminded her.

- No, you told me about Jungkook, not about his parentage. - She answered a little briskly. - I think we should tell him what's happening here. -

- He had a panic attack for going to his father. - Taehyung cut her off. - Do you really think it's the best idea to bring him here when Jungkook's in this state? And did you know that Alexander Evans is his best mate? The other man who just made Jungkook have another panic attack? - His hands on him were protective now, Jungkook could feel it, and he was grateful for it. But his feelings were slipping away from him as numbness slowly replaced everything.

- When did you take him to the headmaster? - She asked, business-like.

- Tuesday. -

- Two panic attacks in less than two days? - Oliver asked.

- And I don't know how many more. - Taehyung added. Not even Jungkook knew how many more, the claustrophobic feeling in his chest and the unbearable suffocation were too present in his life.

- That's not good in the slightest. - She said and Jungkook heard how she opened what sounded like a handbag or something. - Do you know if he had been stressed this week? Or any other kind of overwhelming feeling that might get him dizzy or otherwise unstable? -

Taehyung took a moment to answer.

- Yes. - And then he added. - All of the above. -

- But how can that be? - Oliver asked. - This is just his first week here, and he looked so healthy the first day I saw him. -

- Well, he.... he is healthy, it's just--

- He's shaking in your chest, Taehyung. He's so frightened he doesn't even care that he's that close to a man. -

- Jungkook. - The woman asked him and he had to stop thinking about what Oliver just said so he could answer. Because he had to answer.

- Yes? - His voice was but a monotone whisper.

- When was the last time you ate? -

- Two. Lunch. - He felt the numbness creeping into him like sticky glue.

- Nothing more? - Taehyung asked, astonished, down at Jungkook, and he shook his head slowly, unable to do anything else as his feelings... went numb.

- You'll need an oral hydration solution. - She put something on the coffee table. - Maybe two. - She put another one. - He will drink these two and then wait thirty minutes before drinking something like coffee or té. For solids, only crackers until he feels better, and only then will he be able to take an aspirin if his head is still hurting. Also, a lot of sleep, let him rest all he needs. I would take him to the hospital wing but you told me he didn't want to, so I'm sorry to disturb you, Professor Taehyung, but unless you would want to carry him all the way to his room, he should stay here until he feels better. -

- There's no problem with that. I'll take care of him. - Taehyung said surely.

- Very well. - A snapping sound came, like a bag being closed. - We already know he doesn't have a fever but if it does happen, you call me again. -

- Thank you. - Taehyung said.

- Poppy. - Oliver called her. - Why do you think he reacted this way to Evans? To see if we can help. -

She sighed and took some time to answer.

- It looks to me like post-traumatic stress disorder. But I can be wrong. -

- PTSD? But why? - Taehyung asked, bewildered.

- Only he would know. From what you told me, he seems to fear parental figures, grown men, men that resemble his father, or it could also be to men having any kind of power over him. The only way to get better is by working on it. Meditation and talking it out with someone else, not entirely taking him away from what scares him but making him more aware of why he gets scared. -

- But if he feared any of those things you said, - Oliver started. - Wouldn't he be afraid of Taehyung? -

- How so? - Taehyung asked.

- You're a father and his teacher. You're both a parental figure and have power over him. -

- He's not afraid of me. -

- Who knows. - She said. - Maybe he's shaking because you're not letting go of him. - Immediately, Taehyung's hands let go of him, but Jungkook didn't move from where he was. - Maybe I'm wrong and he's afraid of something else. Whatever it may be, in my professional opinion, that looks like PTSD and he would need to work on it because it's not healthy to be afraid to the point of panic all the time. Jungkook, - She called him, nearing him.

- Yes? - He whispered in a dead voice, the numbness had taken him under.

- If you keep feeling this way, - She said softly and reassuringly. - You can always come to the hospital wing. In there we have everything you need, alright? Even medicine to help you sleep. - He nodded. - I'll be going then. -

- Thank you very much, Doctor. - Taehyung said, his hands at either side of himself, not holding Jungkook but not taking him away either.

- I'll go after you, Poppy. - Oliver said. Jungkook heard footsteps going away and some nearing them. - You're sure you're fine with this, Taehyung? I can also take care of it. - He offered softly.

- I'm sure. Also, I don't have any classes tomorrow, only the meeting in the afternoon. -

- Very well then. If you need anything, I'm just a corridor away, ok son? -

- Thank you, Sir. - Taehyung said, a soft smile audible in his thanks. And then Jungkook heard footsteps getting away, a door opening, and then closing.

Softly, Taehyung neared a hand to Jungkook's cheek and gently made him look up. Taehyung looked as worried as Jungkook felt weak.

- Drink what she brought you first and then you can sleep, please. - Taehyung pleaded with him softly and Jungkook just nodded.

Taehyung frowned deeply but guided him to the couch and sat him down. Jungkook stayed where he was put and then received what Taehyung put in his hand, looking down at it numbly. Taehyung was kneeling beside him looking up at his dead eyes and then at his hand holding the bottle with a slightly desperate expression.

- Drink it. - Taehyung said softly. And commanded to do so, Jungkook drank, looking unseeingly ahead of him.

He couldn't even taste if the thing had a flavor, he couldn't feel his body, it was like he was floating, he couldn't think for himself, he could only do what he was being told.

Once he was done with the thing, he lowered it from his lips and looked at the floor, waiting.

- Do you want to drink the other one or do you want to sleep now? - He could hear Taehyung's voice and understand the words but somehow he couldn't understand the question, he couldn't think of an answer and he couldn't talk. Taehyung made a little desperate sound, almost like a sob, and after some silence, he spoke again. - Leave the bottle on the table. - Jungkook left the bottle on the table, and Taehyung gave a strangled sob again. - Oh no... - It sounded like Taehyung had understood something but Jungkook couldn't feel anything. - Jungkook... do you want to sleep? - Nothing. - Stand up. - Jungkook slowly and weakly, as best as he could, stood up. - No... - Taehyung sobbed again. But Jungkook couldn't do anything to stop it.

Silently, Taehyung wrapped an arm around his waist and walked him to the bedroom, he stopped him and organized the bed then sat him down and kneeled on the floor to take his shoes off.

Slowly, Jungkook could feel the hydration solution taking a slight effect on him in the way of awareness. He felt slightly more connected to himself in the way that he could feel himself, his limbs, and the ache in his stomach. It was slight but it made him frown, the first reaction he had for himself. And, when Taehyung finished taking his shoes off and looked up, he noticed, and he placed a hand on his cheek, eyebrows worried.

- Kooky? -

Jungkook looked him in the eyes and almost felt. But even if the feeling was very slight it was still too much. So he closed his eyes, giving his head the tiniest of shakes, and Taehyung let go of his cheek.

- Ok. - He stopped for a moment and then went on. - To sleep. - His voice was unsure, but Jungkook took the command gratefully and opened his eyes to move as best as he could until his head was on the pillow and his feet on the bed. And the last thing he saw before closing his eyes for good was Taehyung's hand nearing his cheek.

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🌼Thank you for reading Chapter 35<3 Happy 8 months with DEMOCRITUS 🥳💜

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