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𝙣𝙤𝙬

𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙎𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙊𝙁 a break up was still fresh in Charlotte's mind even three months later. Every emotion she had felt that February night still coursed through her veins like a parasite, gripping her heart and yanking at it.

The wound had begun to close. The past few weeks with the Pogues had helped her forget.

But now Rafe was here, in her house, her bed. How could the wounds close when he was here ripping them open once again?

She hadn't slept more than a full hour last night. Every time she drifted off to sleep, her mind seemed to remind her that Rafe was right next to her. It was then that her heart rate began doubling, her palms grew sweaty and her head grew full of jumbled thoughts.

Charlotte could not be that close to Rafe Cameron...not right now.

So that's exactly why she had left her room at the first sign of morning light. Her parents had already headed to the restaurant for the breakfast rush, and Kiara would be asleep for hours. She knew Rafe would be too.

Hours of the early morning passed as Charlotte sat at the kitchen island, scrolling through numerous rehab centres. She was done watching Rafe kill himself. She was done begging him to stop. Something had to be done. And if Ward Cameron wasn't going to do it, Charlotte would.

It was nine o'clock in the morning when she received a call from John B claiming he was putting together some big elaborate scheme to get Kiara and Sarah on speaking terms and he wanted her help. Charlotte told him she wouldn't touch that situation with a ten-foot pole.

Kiara left the house thirty minutes later and it took everything in the eldest Carrera not to warn her sister what she was about to walk into. She decided that she would rather let it play out...she was kind of curious if John B was going to pull it off, or if he was going to end up murdered by his new girlfriend and his best friend.

Her head was still swimming with all the possible scenarios of John B's mission when she heard a creak on the stairs.

Looking up, Charlotte saw Rafe hesitantly standing on the bottom step, his eyes darting around.

"No one's here." Charlotte assured, her voice hoarse from exhaustion. "It's just me."

Rafe let out a visible sigh of relief as he hopped off the bottom step, giving Charlotte a lopsided smile as he entered the kitchen. "Morning, Lottie."

Glancing up at him, Charlotte did her best to keep her face neutral. "Hi."

While she was willing to help Rafe, she was not willing to act like everything was fine between them. Rafe had destroyed her, whether she wanted to admit that or not, and he was not going to do that again.

Either not noticing, or choosing to ignore, Charlotte's cold attitude, Rafe grabbed an apple off of the counter. "I used your shower. Hope you don't mind."

"Nope." Charlotte answered, reaching for her third cup of coffee that morning.

A small smirk grew on Rafe's face as he moved so Charlotte was forced to look at him. "You kept my shampoo. Thought you would have thrown it out again."

Damnit.

Yet another thing of Rafe's Charlotte had held onto. His fucking shampoo that he insisted on leaving there because he refused to use her "girly" ones.

Taking a sip of her coffee, Charlotte attempted to nonchalantly raise her brows. "I hadn't gotten around to getting rid of it yet.

Lie.

She was never going to get rid of it. Because the completely and utterly embarrassing truth was that she loved the smell of it too much to ever get rid of it. She may have even used it a time or two just so she could smell Rafe every time she smelt her hair.

Yeah...she hated herself for that one.

Rafe gave her an unconvinced look as he leaned against the island, shooting her a wink. "It's okay, Lottie."

Maybe it was the exhaustion, or maybe it was the embarrassment, but rage suddenly shot through Charlotte's body. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that."

"What?"

"That nickname, Rafe. I thought I told you to stop calling me that." She repeated, this time with more edge to her tone.

Sighing, Rafe threw out the remainder of his apple before turning toward Charlotte. "I thought we were okay."

"Okay?" Charlotte echoed. "And what would make you think that?"

He ran a hand over his face as groaned. "I said I was sorry, Charlotte. I admitted that I fucked up, okay?"

A humourless laugh fell from Charlotte's lips. "You said were sorry." she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief. "You're sorry for choosing drugs over me? You're sorry for sleeping with any girl you could get your hands on the minute we broke up? You're sorry for absolutely breaking my heart and not even caring?"

Rafe's jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth, trying to contain his anger. "You broke up with me, Charlotte."

They had been here before, had this argument before. But it had gotten them no where. Charlotte resolved not to let that happen today. She was getting the closure she deserved.

"You pushed me away, Rafe." She shot back, doing her best to keep her voice levelled. "Is that what you're doing to your dad, too? How many people are you going to push away until you realize you have no one?"

The sound of Rafe's hand slamming against the counter caused Charlotte so startled slightly, but she covered it up just as quickly. "I didn't push you away, Charlotte! I needed you...and you left me."

The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Charlotte spoke again. "You did push me. You pushed and pushed until I couldn't handle it anymore. Don't act like you were lost without me, Rafe. Because you've made it pretty damn obvious that you could care less about losing me."

"That's not true and you know it." Rafe's eyes had darkened with an intensity so dark it almost caused Charlotte to back away.

"Right." Charlotte laughed, pushing herself out of the barstool so she was standing. She wasn't going to back down. Rafe was a solid six inches taller than her, so she was forced to jut her chin up to meet his eyes. "That's why you slept with half the island the minute I was out of your bed, right."

Rafe's answer came quickly, as if he didn't have time to think before he spoke. "I did that to fucking forget about you, okay!? I did all of that because I am still in love with you." He broke off, his hands clenching the edge of the counter in frustration. "Damnit, Charlotte. Open your fucking eyes and see. You left me! What was I supposed to do, force you to love me again? Everything that I have done since you left was because of you...everything."

Charlotte's heart had slammed against her ribcage once again as she stilled, breathing ragged as she watched Rafe turn away from her for a minute, shaky hand raking through his hair.

"You asked me why I didn't sleep with Kensington..." Rafe paused, swallowing hard before finally looking at Charlotte again. "I didn't sleep with her because I knew the minute I did I would lose you for good. I didn't want her, Lottie. I didn't want any of those girls. The only person I fucking wanted was you."

Silence had never been so loud as the one that hung between the two of them as Charlotte registered everything Rafe had just said to her.

She couldn't find her words at first, but when she did they were quiet and gentle. "I didn't stop loving you." she declared, her brown eyes locking with his red rimmed blue ones. "I didn't break up with you because I stopped loving you or stopped caring for you...I broke up with you because I thought that maybe that would help you see what you were doing to yourself. I broke up with you to save your life."

Rafe's chest was heaving with heavy breaths as he watched Charlotte. His eyes flickered from her eyes and then down to her mouth for a moment.

Before she knew it, Charlotte Carrera was being yanked toward Rafe Cameron, their bodies slamming together as his lips found hers.

She knew it was wrong. Charlotte was very aware of how wrong it was for her to be doing this right now.

This was not the closure she needed.

But was she going to stop? Hell no.

Rafe's hands gripped onto the sides of her face as Charlotte's ravelled around his neck, her fingers tickling the nape of his neck.

Their lips moved like they had never been separated, like there wasn't three months they spent apart. But at the same time, they moved with hunger like they were making up lost time.

Rafe's hands slid away from Charlotte's face, lowering to her waist where he swiftly lifted her onto the counter, not breaking contact once.

He stood in between her legs, their lips still moving in synch as she pulled him closer.

It was only when Rafe's hands reached for the bottom of Charlotte's shirt that she finally broke the kiss.

Both of their lips were swollen as Charlotte pushed his hand away. "What are you doing?" she demanded, regarding him with wild eyes.

Rafe's face fell as he took a small step back. "What are you doing?"

Charlotte sighed, dropping her head into her hands. "I shouldn't have done that. We shouldn't have done that, Rafe. Nothing has been solved."

His hand reached for hers. "We can figure out all of our fucked up problems after."

"Rafe." Charlotte warned, pulling her hand away. "Stop it. I'm not sleeping with you and becoming another name on your body count list. What's mine gonna say...been there done that?"

Rafe rolled his eyes as he threw his head back. "Charlotte, you can't be serious."

"Listen, Rafe. My point is that we can't just jump back into this like nothing happened. We need to figure everything out before we can start over again....which is why─" Charlotte broke off as she reached for her laptop. "I've been researching rehab centres around here." Opening one of the tabs, she turned the screen toward Rafe. "This one looks promising. It's in Charleston, so I could still come visit. And it's on this huge property so you could take walks. And they have kayaking and─"

The laptop lid slammed abruptly, almost causing Charlotte to drop it. "Enough." Rafe warned, his voice cold once again.

The light that had been in Charlotte's eyes dimmed as she set the computer down, looking to Rafe in confusion. "What?"

Rafe let out a quick laugh. "I'm not going to fucking rehab, Charlotte."

Crash.

There went everything they had just built in the last ten minutes. Every hurdle they had overcome had just gone right back up.

Charlotte slid off the counter, turning to face her ex-boyfriend. "But─but you said you were going to change. That you needed help."

"Well, I didn't mean that." He argued harshly. "You're delusional if you think I'm going to a place like that."

The tiny crack that had started in Charlotte's heart shattered fully. She felt like an idiot. How could she have thought, even for a minute, that Rafe was actually going to change?

"I think you should go." she whispered, her voice wavering as tears of defeat began to spring. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to stay here right now."

Rafe watched her for a moment before dipping his head. "Okay. I'll go."

And he did. Without so much as an argument, Rafe Cameron walked out of Charlotte Carrera's house, and possibly out of her life.

Could she keep trying to change him? Could she do that to herself?

Rafe had now lost his father, and his girlfriend...she wasn't sure there was much else that would force him to change.

All Charlotte knew for sure was that she needed to move on. She needed to stop waiting for something that would never come.

It was time to start over...for real.

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