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【  𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐒  】

. . . . . ⌗ 018! ───── WALKER! 𖤐 ‧₊˚

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—— I FELT LIKE the world's biggest asshole. It was a shame I'd only come to this conclusion twenty four hours after Alexis Lewis had blocked me on messages and thirty minutes after my aggravating date with Hannah.

Was that weird? How could I possibly be on a date with a beautiful girl whilst wishing it was someone else entirely? How could I possibly feel this guilty about mine and Alexis' argument when she was the one that started it.

She started seeing Oscar before I saw Hannah.

She moved on first.

She knew how deeply I felt about her but she didn't care.

Why was I so hung up on her? She'd broken my heart. She'd ignored every single word I'd ever whispered to her, every single kiss I'd ever given her, every embrace I'd locked her in. She didn't care.

She was never mine.

Despite how much my heart wept for her, Alexis Lewis was never mine to begin with, and I doubt she ever would be.

She had ran to Oscar the moment our r̶e̶l̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶h̶i̶p̶ situationship had gotten too hard to handle, and I didn't know who I hated more; him, for taking her from me, or myself, for letting her go so easily.

It took me a couple weeks after Alexis blocked me to realise.

I officially hated Oscar Rodriguez.

I hated his stupid smug face and the fact that all of his features contrasted mine. I hated that his hair was more tamed than mine. I hated that he and Alexis could be together so freely because the paparazzi didn't care about them. I was never a violent person, but I firmly believed that Oscars face would be well acquainted with my knuckles if I ever met him.

Leena scolded me for that. She told me to suck it up and get over it, because teenaged relationships never last and there's no point being such a miserable mess over them (I thought it was kind of hypocritical of her considering she has a boyfriend).

Even Leah had a go at me. That kind of annoyed me. Leah was supposed to be my friend, why was she on Alexis' side. Leah listened to me complain about everything before she listened to Alexis.

Was I in the wrong?

No. I couldn't be.

Right?

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ALEXISLEWISS

liked by beckswebs  maddy.reeds  rromanreynoldss  and 768k more

life recently (?) 💐🤍

tagged :: oscarrodriguez1 beckswebs maddy.reeds rromanreynoldss

COMMENTS

beckswebs i love you !!!
➭ alexislewiss i love you more babygirl

rromanreynoldss YOURE ACTUALLY SO UGLY🤣🤣🤣
➭ alexislewiss are we not seeing your picture???

maddy.reeds roman is actually so FAT
➭ beckswebs real
➭ oscarrodriguez1 ‼️‼️‼️
➭ alexislewiss honestly
➭ rromanreynoldss i wish i was with isaac rn :((
➭ isaacsimms it's okay baby i miss you too xxxxx

oscarrodriguez1 stole my LA hat but ur not even a fan🥱
➭ alexislewiss baby it's fashion xxx

rromanreynoldss GOD OSCAR IS SUCH A CUTIE
➭ oscarrodriguez1 i wish i was that burger😉😉
➭ rromanreynoldss door = open, hormones = raging, legs = SPREAD
➭ beckswebs what the fuck
➭ alexislewiss get this shit out my comment section you freaks

maddy.reeds we're such an iconic trio
➭ beckswebs let's have a three way
➭ alexislewiss girls only
➭ rromanreynoldss no fair :(((
➭ beckswebs bitch shut up

isaacsimms i see the quintet in the sextet
➭ alexislewiss hoe please you're on holiday in the BAHAMAS
➭ rromanreynoldss SEXtet🙈🙈
➭ alexislewiss maddy.reeds please put him down already i'm sick of his ass

leahsavajeffries i cant breathe without you you're just so beautiful i think i'm going to cry
➭ alexislewiss my ACTUAL lover
➭ oscarrodriguez1 :((

iamcharliebushnell that burger looks so good.
➭ rromanreynoldss i pooed it out lol
➭ user12 HES SO UNHINGED I LOVE IT

aryansimhadri merry xmas yall
➭ alexislewiss merry??? christmas???

aryansimhadri me when i saw that burger: Grrr😡😡 you stole my kitten!!! i'm so angry👿👿. the burger when it saw me: Oh no please don't hurt me😰😰😰 i'm so sorry alpha😣😣
➭ rromanreynoldss this was so beautiful🥹🥹
➭ maddy.reeds i think i shed a tear🥺🥺🥺
➭ hannahp4lmer OMG aryan you're so funny!!😂😂🤣🤣
➭ user69 oh hell no...

user04 where's isaac???
➭ alexislewiss in the bahamas!
➭ isaacsimms they rebuked me as a member of their cult.
➭ maddy.reeds that's... not... the right context... of rebuke...

user69 WE LOVE TO SEE A BAD BITCH THRIVING!!!
➭ alexislewiss ❤️❤️❤️❤️

user87 i miss when her and walker would comment on each others posts all the time :(((

user53 she looks so happy!

user29 i hope walker is okay, i would feel awful if i saw my ex thriving like this without me.

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—— USER29 WAS RIGHT. I did feel awful. I felt like I was grieving something that never was.

Wondering how I saw their comment? I still had Alexis' post notifications on. Why? Because I am irrevocably, madly infatuated with her, and there is genuinely nothing I can do to stop it.

I'd tried to distract myself with Hannah. It didn't work. She didn't like it when I called things off with her, in fact, she straight up refused.

That's what made this whole situation even worse. I was stuck in a relationship where there were no feelings. I didn't feel a spark of a wave of intimate nausea when Hannah touched me. If I was being completely honest, I didn't feel anything at all.

It hurt seeing Alexis live so merrily without me. I should be happy for her, right? I should want her to be happy, no matter the consequences on me. But I couldn't be.

No matter what, I had to face the truth:

Alexis Lewis was happy without me.