╔.𖥸. .════════════════╗

𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬

chapter twelve
you're the only friend I
need

╚════════════════. .❀.╝

YOUR FAULT. YOUR fault. Your fault.

The phrase replayed over and over in her head, almost like a broken record. Alyssa knew that she wasn't the only reason that Hawk and his little gang destroyed Miyagi-Do — he was probably angry that he had lost against Sam in Robby in that fight at the mall. But she was a reason. The THAT'S IT spraypainted on the fence in her favorite was a clear indicator of that.

Which is why she had to fix it.

Alyssa came to Miyagi-Do way earlier than practice was scheduled for that day. She walked into the backyard to see that Sensei LaRusso was already there, a trash bag in hand as he cleaned up all of the toilet paper and broken things around the dojo. Alyssa paused in her tracks and cleared her throat, announcing her presence. Sensei LaRusso straightened up and turned to look at her.

"Alyssa," Sensei LaRusso said, a tone of surprise in his voice.

She gave him a tight smile. "Hi, Sensei."

"Practice isn't supposed to start for a long while." He set his trash bag down on the grass and approached her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to help clean up." She shrugged. "I couldn't stop feeling . . . guilty, I guess. Like, a part of me is to blame for Cobra Kai destroying the dojo. So, I'm here to fix it."

Sensei LaRusso stared at her for a moment. "What do you mean?"

She looked down for a moment, twisting one of the rings on her finger. "Uh, the night after the mall fight, Eli and I had an argument outside of Cobra Kai. A really big one." Images of that night plagued her mind. "I've never fought like that with him before."

"Eli. Your and Demetri's best friend, right?"

Alyssa shook her head, a sad smile on her face. "Not so much of a best friend anymore."

He nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thanks," Alyssa replied quietly. "But . . . Eli's really deep into Cobra Kai. I think maybe the argument set him off, and . . ." She gestured around the trashed dojo. "This happened. Don't really have any concrete evidence, but I'm positive he's the one who did this."

"Alyssa, you shouldn't blame for yourself for other people's actions," Sensei LaRusso stated firmly. "You had no idea that this was going to happen when you had that argument."

"Maybe not, but . . . still." She let out a deep breath and wiped her palms against her leggings. "It'll make me feel a lot better if you'd let me clean up, though. It might help the guilt go away."

"You can clean up inside."  He then reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "This is not your fault."

Alyssa gave him a tight grin, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. If only she could convince herself that.

She cleaned up all of the broken glass, sweeping it into a dustpan and throwing it away. Alyssa straightened out all of the pictures and lifted the furniture back up, putting it back where they belonged. It took some time, and a lot of her strength, but she managed to do it. In the end, she felt a little better, but not much.

Alyssa sat in the room inside the dojo that she had just cleaned, her back against the wall and her knees tucked into her chest. Everything had been restored . . . well, not everything. The case that held Mr. Miyagi's Medal of Honor was still empty and shattered, kind of like how Alyssa felt.

Somebody else then entered the room. Alyssa looked up, expecting it to be Sensei LaRusso, but it was Sam. She glanced into the backyard to see that Robby and Demetri were there, too, starting to help Sensei LaRusso clean up the yard. They must've arrived a couple of minutes ago while she was busy inside.

"Hey," Sam began.

"Hi," Alyssa responded.

Sam sat next to her, also tucking her knees into her chest. "How are you? I know the past two days for you have been . . . rough."

She let out a small, humorless laugh. "Understatement of the year." Alyssa reached up, tucking some of her hair behind her ears. "I thought that cleaning up the dojo would make me feel better and less guilty. It worked a little bit, but . . ." Alyssa shook her head. "I still feel awful."

"If I had to guess, you still feel awful because you keep thinking about the fight you had," Sam revealed gently. "You said you've fallen out, right? And this was with someone who used to be your friend. That's . . . a huge shock, Ally."

Alyssa knew Sam was right. The feeling of her heart being stabbed over and over wasn't just because Eli had trashed her dojo. It was because she had lost Eli. Like, truly lost him. She had tried to hold on tight as he slipped away, but now he was gone. And there was nothing she could do. There was no way of convincing him out of this persona.

"It seems like the best part of me was always him, and now . . ." Alyssa trailed off, looking over at Sam with her eyes wide and sad. "I don't know what to do."

Sam said nothing else. All she did was reach over, putting her arms around Alyssa's shoulders. Their temples rested against one another's. Alyssa shut her eyes momentarily at the comfort it brought.

"You're going to be okay, Ally," Sam reassured her quietly. "I promise."

Alyssa knew she would be. She just needed time, because everything reminded her of him right now.

The two sat there for a couple more minutes before deciding to go back outside. They walked into the backyard, only to see that all of the toilet paper and broken decorations were gone. There were still some scattered potted plants and the fence needed to be painted, but it looked a lot better than before.

Demetri put an arm around Alyssa's shoulders when she got close to him. "You okay?"

"No," Alyssa answered, looking up at Demetri. She couldn't hide from him. "You?"

"Not really."

"It was him. You know that, right?"

Demetri sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know."

There was one huge problem that they still had with cleaning the dojo, besides the missing Medal of Honor. The rock with engravings on it had been knocked over, and no matter how hard they tried, it wouldn't lift. Alyssa, Demetri, Sam, and Robby were using pretty much all of their strength to try and lift it up again, but it was incredibly heavy. She sighed, straightening up and putting her hands on her hips, glaring down at the rock.

Stupid rock.

"Are you guys lifting?" Demetri asked. "Because I feel like I'm doing nothing here."

"Forget it, all right?" Robby replied. "It's too heavy. We're gonna need a forklift."

"How'd they even knock it over?" Sam complained.

"It's a lot easier to knock something down than it is to lift it up," Sensei LaRusso explained, repotting one of the plants. "Don't worry. We'll get it up again."

"Uh . . . excuse me," a new voice said. "Is this Miyagi-Do?"

Alyssa looked, only to see a couple guys standing there. The one who had asked the question was one of the people who had chased down her and Demetri at the mall. Another was the one she had punched. There was an overarching theme between every single one of them — they were Cobra Kai's. Alyssa's eyes narrowed at them and she put her hand on Demetri's arm, both comfortingly and protectively.

"Yeah," Sensei LaRusso answered, standing up from kneeling on the ground.

Robby walked towards the group. "Come back for another beating?"

"Hey, Robby. Robby."

He stopped in his tracks, gesturing to the group. "This is one of the guys who was beating on Demetri and Ally. Probably helped trash the dojo."

"We didn't have anything to do with that," the one who asked the question insisted. He then looked back at Alyssa and Demetri. "But I am sorry about what happened at the mall. We just wanna learn Miyagi-Do karate."

"I'd be careful about this, Mr. L, letting the Cobra Kai's into Miyagi-Do," Demetri stated. "It's like letting the wildlings behind the Wall."

Sensei LaRusso looked back at him. "Didn't the wildlings help Jon Snow win the Battle of the Bastards?"

Demetri thought about it for a moment. "Should've picked a different analogy."

He turned back to the group. "We're happy to have you." He offered his hand to the leader of their group. "Nice to meet you."

Sensei LaRusso then went around the group, shaking their hands and introducing himself. Alyssa's eyes locked on the one in the front of the group, raising her eyebrow at him. He looked away from her guiltily.

Alyssa squeezed Demetri's arm. "It's gonna be okay."

Sensei LaRusso took the new students — Chris, Abe, Little Red, Frank, and Nathaniel — out to the front to give them their first lesson. Alyssa let Sam, Robby, and Demetri fix up the plants while she got the paintbrush and the paint, painting up and down on the fence over the spray paint. With every stroke, she felt the weight on her shoulders lift just the tiniest bit.

She was so transfixed in her painting that she didn't notice the newbies come back to the backyard. They started to help clean up, too, which was nice. What wasn't nice was hearing Demetri and Chris argue in the background. Alyssa ignored them for now and just continued to paint the fence, all until somebody came up to her.

"Hi."

Alyssa turned, looking at the guy next to her. She immediately recognized him as the one who had blocked her and Demetri in the comic book store, and the one she had punched in the food court. Alyssa lowered her paintbrush and turned to him, staring at him in slight confusion.

He extended his hand out to her. "Frank."

She glanced down at his hand, and he quickly retracted it. "Alyssa. Most call me Ally. Can I help you?"

"I — um, I just wanted to say sorry," Frank revealed, and Alyssa blinked. "For trapping you in the comic book store and trying to punch you. It's just, Hawk—"

"Told you what to do?" Alyssa guessed, and Frank nodded. She sighed. "Well, thank you for apologizing."

"You can really pack a punch, by the way. My cheek still kind of hurts."

He was then called away by Sensei LaRusso, who was taking all the newbies, besides Chris, inside to teach them about Miyagi-Do. Chris had to stay because him and Demetri were tasked with lifting the rock to learn about teamwork. Alyssa watched as Frank went, slight satisfaction settling in her chest.

Alyssa went back to painting her fence. She could vaguely hear Demetri and Chris having an argument about physics versus strength. Alyssa had just painted over the last bit of spray paint before she heard a thud behind her. She whirled around, only to see Demetri on the ground with Chris standing above him. Her eyes widened and she dropped the paintbrush, running over to Demetri.

"Demetri, oh my God," Alyssa said. She extended her hand out to him, and he used it to pull himself up. Her gaze then focused in on Chris. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Woah, woah, what are you doing?" Sensei LaRusso demanded, running out of the house. "We're on the same team now."

Robby gestured to Chris. "Once a Cobra Kai, always a Cobra Kai."

"That's not true. I know it's not true 'cause . . . I used to be a Cobra Kai."

Alyssa blinked. Well, that was a plot twist she wasn't expecting. Sensei LaRusso, the man who was all about defense, was in Cobra Kai?

He took them inside to explain, where he had been earlier with all of the new students besides Chris. Alyssa sat on the mat next to Demetri, her legs crossed underneath her. She paid attentively to what he was saying, because honestly, that revelation really threw her for a loop.

"Cobra Kai sells power, strength, and when I joined, I was . . . well, I was — I was weak," Sensei LaRusso told them. "It was 1985. I had just won my first All Valley and Mr. Miyagi didn't want me to compete anymore. He never really liked the idea of fighting for trophies in the first place. So, he and I, we . . . got into this big argument and . . . what did I do? I joined Cobra Kai. I learned to strike first, strike hard, and show no mercy. And it turned me into an angry and violent kid. It changed me."

Alyssa looked down, focusing in on the mat. She definitely knew somebody like that.

"You never told me about any of this," Sam said.

"It's not something I'm proud of, Sam," Sensei LaRusso admitted. "But my point is, anyone can be seduced by Cobra Kai, even me. And I'll admit, Cobra Kai makes you feel stronger, tougher, but it will also get you in trouble. And that's what happened to me. I'm just lucky Mr. Miyagi was willing to take me back. So, remember, it doesn't matter who anyone was before they stepped into this dojo. All that matters is that right now, today, we are all Miyagi-Do."

Alyssa watched as Demetri and Chris shared a glance from across the room. Sensei LaRusso's words echoed in her mind. We are all Miyagi-Do. If this was going to work, they had to at least try to be united.

They all went back outside. Alyssa crossed her arms across her chest, standing next to Sam as they all gathered to watch. Both Chris and Demetri lodged bamboo sticks underneath the rock, this time using a combination of both physics and strength.

Chris looked at Demetri. "Okay, let's both do this fulcrum thing."

"Together, on the count of three," Demetri replied. "One, two, three."

Together, they pushed with their sticks. Sure enough, the rock lifted up off the ground. Once it was far enough off the ground, Chris dropped his stick and ran forwards, catching the rock in his hands. Demetri did the same. It took a lot of strength, but they managed to push it back upright. Alyssa nodded in impressment, a small smile stretching across her face.

"Good job, guys," Sensei LaRusso said. "You see that? We all work together as a team, anything's possible."

Demetri reached out his hand for a high-five, but Chris went for a fist-bump, making his fist slap against Demetri's palm. Chris looked confused, but Demetri just took his fist in both of his hands, shaking it a little bit.

Alyssa let out a small laugh at it, truly feeling happy for the first time in a while.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

AUGUST SEVENTEENTH WAS a normal day for some, but not to Alyssa. That's because August seventeenth was her birthday, and this year, she was turning seventeen.

Usually, on her birthday she would just hang out with Eli, Demetri, her mom, and her little brother, and that would be enough. This year, however, was different. All of Miyagi-Do — besides Sensei LaRusso — was coming over to her house after practice for dinner and to play games for her birthday. Alyssa was actually looking forward to it. Her and everyone in the dojo had formed some friendships. Well, she was already friends with Demetri, her friendship with Sam was growing exponentially, and Robby was also rapidly becoming her friend, but she found herself getting along with all the new members.

There was one thing that just dimmed it all. It was her first birthday in over a decade where she wouldn't be celebrating with Eli — or, well Hawk, and it fucking hurt. He had always been her favorite person and had never failed to forget her birthday. Not that she expected him to do anything this year after what happened, but still, it sucked not having the person that was by her side for about eleven birthday's to not be there.

Alyssa locked her car behind her at the dojo, walking through the dirt lot in front of the house to the path that led to the backyard. Her mom had French-braided her hair this morning after a breakfast of pancakes, which was something she always did on Alyssa's birthday.

However, the second she walked into the backyard, she was instantly scooped up into Demetri's arms.

Alyssa shrieked, her arms flailing to hold onto him as her feet left the ground. "Demetri! Oh my God, what—"

"Happy Birthday!" Demetri shouted, spinning her around once before standing still, not setting her back down just yet. "Seventeen years of your annoyance on this Earth! How do you feel?"

Alyssa rolled her eyes fondly, though she couldn't help the grin on her face. "I feel okay. Also, since when could you pick me up?"

"Karate training apparently makes you stronger. I can lift all of you now."

"Well, can you put all of me down?"

He didn't. Demetri only held her a little tighter. Alyssa was hit with the sudden realization that he knew. He knew that it was her first birthday without him, and he understood just how much pain she was in. That's why he was holding her so close. She rested her head against his shoulder, the top of her head brushing into his cheek — thank you.

"Okay, you can at least share her with the rest of us," Sam argued. "I want — I mean, we want to say Happy Birthday, too."

Demetri squeezed her once before setting herself down on her feet. Alyssa barely had time to blink before Sam ran forwards and threw her arms around Alyssa, practically tackling her into a hug. She laughed loudly, her arms wrapping around Sam's waist as she stumbled back a bit.

"Happy Birthday!" Sam recited excitedly, pulling back.

Alyssa then saw she was holding a box in her hand. "What's that?"

"I know we have your party later, but I couldn't wait to give you this." Sam offered the box to her. "I have another present for you, by the way, that I'll give you at the party."

She took the box. "You didn't have to get me two presents, or anything, actually."

Sam waved her off. "It's your birthday, you deserve it. Now open it."

Alyssa did what she was told and opened up the box. Inside was a bracelet — it was one of those cord ones that could be pulled to tighten. The cord was black, and in the very center was a silver charm of a moon. She stared down at it. It was really pretty.

"It's a friendship bracelet," Sam explained. She held up her own wrist, which had the same exact bracelet, only the cord was white and the charm was a gold sun. "I've got the matching one."

Alyssa looked up at Sam's face, her mouth slightly opening in shock. Her mouth closed, only for her lip to quiver. Tears involuntarily filled Alyssa's eyes and she felt her throat get choked up. She looked back down at the friendship bracelet in the box. Alyssa had never received a friendship bracelet from anyone. In more ways than one, this gift meant the most.

"Oh no," Sam voiced, noticing her state. "Do you not like it? I can—"

"No, no, it's not that," Alyssa interjected, sniffling a little. "Sorry, it's just . . . ever since the fight, I've been feeling really alone." She looked up at Sam, giving her a watery smile as she held up the box. "This just reminded me that I'm not."

Sam's expression turned into one of understanding. "You're never alone, Alyssa. You've got us."

She then reached forwards and pulled Alyssa into a hug, a much calmer and more meaningful one than the last. Alyssa hugged back tightly, burying her face into Sam's shoulder. Soon, the other members of Miyagi-Do joined them, creating one giant group mess of a hug, like they were all gluing the broken pieces of the birthday girl back together.

"I feel a little insulted that I wasn't invited into this group hug," Sensei LaRusso's voice admitted. "I'm assuming Alyssa is somewhere in there."

One by one, all of them untangled themselves from each other. Alyssa let go of Sam, giving her a gracious smile before turning to Sensei LaRusso. She sniffled and wiped away her remaining tears.

"Happy Birthday, Ally," Sensei LaRusso told her. He then pointed at her. "And no more crying on your birthday. I want to see no more tears."

Alyssa laughed a little and bowed at him. "Yes, Sensei." She straightened back up. "And they were happy tears, I promise."

"Good." He clapped his hands together. "Ready to begin?"

All of them started to disperse around the backyard. Alyssa, however, stayed in her spot for a second, pulling the bracelet out of the box and slipping it on her left wrist. She put the box on the ground and tightened the cord until it fit better. Alyssa's eyes slid from the moon charm of hers to the sun charm on Sam's, which was glinting in the sun.

And, slowly but surely, Alyssa's loneliness left her.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

HAWK LEANED AGAINST a tree in the shadows, watching as two cars approached the house he had spent a lot of time in over the years. One was hers, and the other he didn't recognize.

Sam LaRusso was the first to get out of the car from the passenger seat, her blue eyes lit up with laughter. She shut the door, saying something that Hawk couldn't make out. Robby Keene got out from behind her, pointing at Sam in what seemed to be a playfully argumentative way. Sam slapped his shoulder, but only laughed harder. Demetri Alexopoulos, that fucking nerd, got out of the backseat, too, waving his hands around and probably saying something dumb or making a reference to a movie.

And . . . yep, there she was.

The one he was really there for got out of the drivers seat of her car. Alyssa Liu, her hair tied back into a French braid with some pieces framing her face, most likely falling out from practice. She was laughing, too, and her smile ignited something in Hawk's stomach.

Most people would use sunshine as a way to describe someone. Bright, warm, fuzzy. But that wasn't Alyssa. No, Alyssa was moonlight. She glowed like sunshine, but in a much gentler way. It was softer, more angelic, more sweet. She was the one that lit up a dark night.

Eli was always the sun, and she was the moon. But not anymore. Even without him, she was still shining. That made him start to believe that she had found a new sun to keep her glowing. Hawk didn't know about their sun and moon friendship bracelets, but it was evident by the shared smiles that they had that Sam LaRusso had stepped up into being the role of Alyssa's new sun.

Alyssa looked happy. Like, her body language just screamed genuine happiness. The kind that could be brought about in the summer, sitting besides a crashing ocean while the bright sun reflected on freckled skin. The kind that could be brought about in the fall, standing under a red-leafed tree while admiring the first chill in the air. The kind that could be brought about in the winter, watching as the first snowflakes of the season fell while Christmas music played softly in the background. The kind that could be brought about in the spring, smiling as the plants got their green back while the air got warmer after being cold for so long.

It was . . . jarring, almost. Seeing her happy when he felt anything but that. Because it seemed like she was happy without him, when without her, he was a mess. There was really nothing but anger.

Something had switched in his brain the night they fell apart. Seeing the tears in her eyes, hearing her insist she didn't recognize him anymore, admitting that they couldn't fix what had been broken . . . it sparked a new fire inside of him, one that hadn't stopped raging inside of him ever since that night.

Moon had broken up with him. Yeah, sure, whatever. Sure, he liked her, but she didn't really get him. Not like Alyssa did. His falling out with Alyssa hurt a hell of a lot more than his breakup with Moon. He had spent countless sleepless nights thinking about it. Nobody mentioned it to him, but Hawk knew he looked tired.

All the things that Hawk felt for her hadn't left. When he was that pathetic kid, hiding behind sweater-covered hands, he tried to repress pretty much everything that he thought of when he looked at Alyssa — emphasis on tried, because it didn't really work. Now, he was just angry — angry because she was all he thought about, when she shouldn't be, because she was the enemy. He just couldn't bring himself to hate her.

And yet here she was, looking like she was perfectly fine.

His blood boiled when Demetri slung both of his stupid gangly arms around the front of Alyssa. It only got worse when Alyssa laughed harder at it, reaching up and placing his hands on the arms around her neck. They stumbled up to her house, Sam, and Robby, and those traitors that joined Miyagi-Do following after them. All of them disappeared inside to a home that Hawk knew inside-out, but couldn't go in anymore.

"Happy Birthday, Lys," Hawk said to himself before turning around and walking down the sidewalk, shoving his hands into his pockets.

•─•°•❀•°•─•

okay 😍 ouch 🤩 that hurt 🥰

blasted nobody gets me while writing this :) sza wrote it about them she just didn't know it

BYE I CRIED WITH ALLY WHEN I WROTE THAT SAM GAVE HER A FUCKING FRIENDSHIP BRACELET BFFS FOREVER FR