warning: ptsd

𝚍𝚘𝚜𝚜
(𝚟) 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎

The day of her parent's trail, Lilah Angelo was woken up by her body's sudden over-heating. It was like she was being set on fire from the inside out, like her stomach was being turned to ash. 

Lilah bolted upright, her chest heaving up and down. She could feel the sweat coating every surface of her body, the beads that rolled from her forehead down the side of her temple.

Panting, she threw the covers off her body, being careful not to hit Eveline in the process, and swung her legs over the side of the bed. Keeping her feet planted on the ground gave her some soft of balance, something like a heavy weight to steady her.

She braced her forearms on her thighs and sucked in a breath through her mouth—letting it out through her nose.

Yet another vivid dream. Or nightmare, she supposed. The glass shattering, the warm blood running down her back, Benjamin screaming when the bombs went off—it made her skin crawl with fear.

A noise coming from the kitchen made Lilah's head snap up. She slowly crept out of her bedroom, sparing a glance at her still soundly sleeping sister. Lilah would have to wake her up soon, get her ready for the trial.

Lilah soundlessly walked into the kitchen, fully ready to punch the shit out of someone—but she loosened when a head of blond hair popped up from behind the counter. Lilah sighed, "Harrison, why the hell are you in my kitchen?"

Her friend held up a pan. "Making an omelette."

"It's seven in the fucking morning go make an omelette in your own house!" Lilah whisper yelled.

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Harrison said, a small hint of a smirk on his lips.

"No because my mother is currently on a plane with my father, being guarded by four security guards on the way to the London Court House for their trial in an hour," she snapped, her jaw tightening.

"Right—sorry, forgot about that," he said hastily. Lilah watched as he opened the fridge and pulled out a few eggs, then cracked them in the now hot pan. "Why are you so mad? It's just an omelette."

"Well first," Lilah said, sitting down on a bar stool, "this isn't your apartment."

"I miss you guys. And I was out of eggs."

"Okay . . . you could come back over after the trial if you wanted. But second of all, I'm just really stressed right now for no reason. And I need a shower. And I have a headache."

"Maybe have some pain killers," Harrison suggested, taking a glass from out of the cupboard. "Or go back to sleep."

"No," Lilah laughed lightly, "I'm not going back to sleep—" She was cut off by Harrison accidentally dropping the glass cup on the ground. Her entire body seized up.

"Oops, sorry about that," he said, quickly grabbing the broom to pick it up.

Lilah could feel her hands start to shake, but she clenched them to stop shiver that trailed down her spine, all the way to that scar. She knew why the glass breaking set her off, but she didn't say anything about it. Didn't say anything when Tom came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"What was that crash?" he asked, sitting down on the stool beside Lilah.

"I'm making an omelette, leave me alone," Haz muttered as he cracked an egg.

"Mate, you're in our apartment."

Tom was shushed by his friend, and they started arguing, but Lilah's ears started ringing and she could only hear their muffled voices. Her eyes unintentionally focused on a spot on the white marble counter, unblinking.

Her thoughts wandered, back to her memory, and Lilah reeled in the urge to just get up and leave.

Leave the kitchen, leave the apartment, leave all these people, Tom and Eveline—just . . . leave.

What would it be like?

"I need a shower," Lilah blurted out to no one in particular. She rolled her neck and made for the bathroom. She could feel his eyes on the back of her head, burning into her, but she declined to turn around and meet his gaze.

---

She had refused to meet his gaze. After those thoughts entered her head, Lilah couldn't make herself look at him. It would've been to painful. Not because he did anything wrong, but because of what shouldn't have even crossed her mind.

When Tom drove her and Eveline to the court house, she could feel him glance at her every so often, sense the worry in his eyes.

But only when they got inside the building, got checked in, were about to go inside the courtroom, and Tom seized her forearm lightly, did she finally look at him.

Eveline was already inside, waiting for them. As well as everyone else. But they could wait a bit longer.

Tom's hand slowly moved from her forearm to link his fingers with hers, his thumb gently grazing the back of her hand. "Just wondering if you wanted me to go with you," he said. 

Lilah thought about it and nodded, looking back down at her feet. Having him there would let her know that there was still a reason to stay. But it wasn't just for her own personal reasons, she knew Tom would want to know what was going on in there, a natural inquisitive trait. 

He grabbed her chin, not enough to hurt, but just enough to get her to look at him. His eyes were filled with worry, directed at her, and . . . something else she couldn't place. And utter beauty.

She tilted her head to the side, admiring them.

"What're you thinking about?" Tom asked.

Lilah blinked. Even his voice was soothing. Something she hadn't noticed before. "You're really pretty."

Tom's face broke out into a smile, releasing her hand from his. He tipped his back and laughed, the sound echoing off the walls. A little glimmer of light bloomed in her chest.

And despite what waited for her on the other side of that door, Lilah smiled at Tom, that light glowing brighter than ever.

⋆·˚ ༘ *🕸* ༘˚·⋆

It didn't last long—her smile.

Stopped almost the moment Tom and her step into that courtroom, a man and a woman sitting at the defendant's table staring at her, feline grins on their faces.

Tom had figured those were her parents, given the paling on both Lilah and Eveline's faces. Worse than the look on Lilah's face this morning.

And when you look at your parents with fear in your eyes—that's when you know something's wrong.

But when Tom knew something was wrong, when he knew that things weren't going as planned, was during the reading of prosecutions. They were reading more than what they were charged for.

"Claire and Brian Angelo have been brought to the stand today for the abuse of Eveline Angelo, and for being involved in the kidnapping of Lilah Angelo and Benjamin Hak. We now call Lilah Angelo to the witness stand."

Everyone in the courtroom stilled.

Tom was almost positive that his blood chilled. She'd been kidnapped? How old was she when it happened? Why didn't she tell him? Did she not trust him enough to know?

Even Eveline's head snapped towards her older sister. Apparently she hadn't know either.

But Lilah had stood up and walked to the witness stand. Held her chin high. Even when everyone could see her fingers trembling.

He stared at her, eyes wide, silently pleading for her to keep it together. That reminder was more for himself than her. Especially when Lilah started talking. When she was asked to tell everyone what happened. And when she refused, her voice breaking—that was when Tom found himself holding in tears.

But she did. She told everyone in that court room about her parents leaving her at that airport, the ties around her wrists and ankles, the glass room, the man and woman who'd watched over and trained Lilah and Benjamin to become—

The word failed him.

At some point during Lilah's witness statement, his hand found Eveline's, and he held it tightly. Because he knew she was having a hard time processing this as well. But during the whole thing, what really got him agitated, was that her parents looked bored the entire time. Bored.

When Lilah's statement ended and a man that looked to be a little older than Tom came into the courtroom, her entire face dropped. Her shoulders sagged, and her fingers halted their fidgeting—she just stopped.

Then the judge spoke again.

"We now call Benjamin Hack to the witness stand."

But Benjamin didn't go up to the stand right away, he stood before Lilah, towering over her, and said something he couldn't hear. Lilah's lips tugged towards a smile, and at the same time they flipped off Claire and Bryan, out of the sight of the judge.

Both Eveline and Tom rolled their eyes, letting go of each other's hands.

The humor in the room quickly dissolved when Benjamin made his way to the witness stand and presented his case.

Then Eveline.

And while Eveline was walking back to the wooden benches to sit back down next to her sister, the commotion broke out. Her mother bolted up out of her seat, baring her teeth, and her father started yelling.

Lilah immediately got to her feet and ran toward Eveline, Tom following close behind. The bailiff seized Claire and Bryan, and the judge started shouting for everyone to get back to their seats.

Lilah put a hand on the small of Eveline's back, leading her back to the benches.

In the span of less than a minute, the sentences were read out, and Lilah's parents were dragged out of the courtroom. Tom watched as she started at them with pure hatred in her eyes.

He'd never seen that happen before, it was quite scary.

And Tom watched as Lilah took his hand and Eveline's—and they stalked out of that room, not looking back.

---

"You look tired." Tom crossed his arms and leaned against the hallway threshold.

"Well I'll tell you what Sherlock Holmes, you are unbelievable."

"Lilah, now is not the time for Niall Horan references."

"It is always the time for Niall Horan references."

Tom raised his brows and sighed through his nose, pushing off the threshold. Lilah was sitting on the couch, untying the laces to her converse. Still hadn't gotten another pair of shoes. He snorted and sat down beside her.

He leaned back when Lilah rested her head on the soft spot between his shoulder and collarbone, and he wrapped an arm around her. Tom stroked her arm with his thumb, drawing lazy shapes and lines.

After a few minutes, Tom finally spoke up. "We've got to talk about it, Lilah."

She sighed through her nose and grabbed a blanket off the ground, throwing it over the two of them. "Would you like to talk about whatever the hell happened today first? Or the fact that Benjamin just showed up out of no where? Or the one thing we've both been avoiding for the past two weeks?" 

Every word was taut, but Tom knew what she meant. They'd been avoiding it since their kiss.

"How about that last one," he said, pulling Lilah closer to him so her head was resting on his chest. "Do you want to be in a relationship with me?"

"Yes."

"Are you afraid?"

"Of what?" she questioned.

"Of what will happen when you tell everyone else what you're feeling," Tom said quietly. Lilah was silent. Thinking about it, he supposed. "You know that if you keep ignoring your feelings, you're eventually going to break down."

"How unfortunate," Lilah mused.

"Okay how about I tell you a story, if you aren't going to fess up." He pinched her arm lightly and she gave a small yelp of surprise. He breathed, "I remember the first time we talked, and you smiled at me. And I just couldn't think straight for the rest of the day. And then the first time you laughed when I was there—I just felt something. I—I don't think there are words in my vocabulary to describe how beautiful your laugh is."

Lilah smiled at him, yawned and closed her eyes, her nose flaring slightly. Breathing in his scent, he realized. As if it was as soothing to her as hers was to his.

Tom gulped and continued, "That's when I knew that I wanted you to be mine. And that I wanted to be yours. I still do."

"Even your words are pretty," was all Lilah said.

"What do you want to be?" Tom asked her.

She lifted her head up to look at him. "I just want to hold your stupid hand and sleep in your stupid t-shirts and kiss your stupid lips and love your stupid heart," she said slowly.

"Is it possible that you just insulted me and yet I still want to love your stupid heart too?"

Lilah's eyes flitted to his lips for a second, then back to his eyes. He leaned in, their noses just brushing against each other. "Tom you're my person."

He was going to throw up. Not actually—but the feeling in his stomach was too overwhelming for him to process, so much so, that he was going to throw up. It felt like someone had taken an entire flock of butterflies and let them roam around in his middle.

His eyes were stinging when he opened his mouth to say something to Lilah, but no noise came out. So he lowered himself, and placed a soft kiss on her lips, holding her chin between his thumb and forefinger.

Tom murmured against her lips, "Lilah darling, you're my person."

Lilah just grinned and pecked his lips once more, sitting up further to detach their kiss, so she could hug him. Not kiss, but a deeper embrace, a deeper form of how Lilah Angelo showed her love.

⋆·˚ ༘ *🗡* ༘˚·⋆

(messages with benjamin)

angel
shit dude.
i think i accidentally
fell in love

demon
why would you
do that to yourself

angel
hELP ME

demon
is that person
also in love with
you?

angel
probably not

angel
🎶cause i got issues🎶

demon
wait are we talking
about tom

angel
maybe.
or i could be talking
about someone else
you'd never know

demon
well because i caught
a glimpse of the look he
was giving me after i saw
you today-
i'm gonna say it's tom

angel
i hope he knows
that you were checking
him out and not me

demon
i was nOT

angel
ok mister
✨hUnGrY eYeS✨

demon
he is a gorgeous
man i couldn't help
myself smh

angel
hey he's my gorgeous
man

demon
yoURS-
👀

angel
oh right yeah
i don't know what
to do

angel
we aren't technically
supposed to be in a
relationship?
it's against the
contract with marvel

demon
don't you have
harry styles's
number

angel
no i'm not that famous.
oh wait yes i do
:D

demon
wow.
anyways-

demon
doesn't he have
quite a bit of expirence
with the whole
managment controlling
the relationship
kind of thing

angel
yeah ig but i'm not
going to just ring up
harry fucking styles
about relationship advice

demon
why not

angel
because

demon
vaild reason

angel
i know

demon
i'd say just get
advice from a bunch
of different people
that aren't me

angel
why not you
you're like the best
person ever

demon
stfu no u
and cause i've never
been in a relationship
before lol

angel
SAME THAT'S WHY
I'M FREAKING OUT

demon
i mean i've hooked
up with a few people
at bars- but they don't
count cause i'm trying
to complain

angel
valid reason

angel
but i'm kind of scared
because sydney and
this dude named
michael were talking about
some kind of fake dating
publicity stunt with other
people that i really
don't want to do

demon
ok then don't
do it

angel
wonderful advice
10/10
👏👏👏👏👏

angel
i'm aware i'm
an asshole

demon
good i was worried for
a second

angel
anyways where
are you staying

demon
a hotel where
they don't have
any coffee

demon
they oNLY SERVE
TEA. WHAT THE
HELL

angel
tomorrow i can take
you to a place i found
where they don't kick
you out for ordering
coffee

demon
😃👍

angel
ok i have to go
now because tom is
asleep and he's about
to smack me in the leg
with his foot

demon
isn't that just
kicking

angel
goodnight

demon
nightt