Keith's POV:

If only Allura wouldn't have forced me to sleep, none of this might have happened...

Who am I kidding, it would have happened whether she put me to sleep or not.

There are just some things you can never escape... no matter how hard you try-

—————————————————————————————————————————————
Keith's POV:

The room was cold, much like the man holding me. The lighting harsh and bright.

My eardrums could barely process what I was hearing as I felt my eyes sting from the tears.

"He's Kevin Kogane's son, y'know, the firefighter guy or something who died yesterday.", the man explained, his hand gripping my shoulder tightly. He listened for a moment as the other end responded before rolling his eyes in frustration, "Of course I've checked, this brat doesn't have anyone to call his own and even if they're was anyone, they would be wise not to speak up."

I struggled as his fingers dug into my skin, his harsh hold preventing me from running off as he talked on his expensive sleek black phone.

"He's tried to run back into the burned remains of the site- you'll probably need to restrain him when you pick him up.", he warned as I considered biting his wrist, "Stupid kid won't accept the reality already."

"My dad isn't dead!!! He's a firefighter!!", I screamed at the towering man over me, "I'll prove it to you! I'll prove it, just watch!!", I continued to yell as I glanced out the window.

I could see the smoldering ruins of the house that my pop had disappeared in, the memory still fresh in my mind. The smell and taste of smoke in my lungs as the roof collapsed, full with hungry yellow flames.

The heat had been intense. My eyes had shimmered with tears from the smoke and flame before I was even near it and the dread that had immediately found its way to my heart.

It was poison...

It still stung my throat then and now as I ran to try to find him. The bright lights and screaming sirens and shouts of police and other firefighters had filled my ears into a deafening roar as I was pulled back. The 'it's to late' and 'he's gone kid' were told over and over to me but I denied it all.

Called them liars... I screamed. I fought. I tried to run. Until I was brought here with this cold business man with his perfect suit and harsh manner.

I glared at him as he stared at me unamused and shoved me into a chair.

"Don't be stupid. He's gone.", he stated, "The only thing you'll find is ash and maybe, just maybe, a smoking corpse. There's nothing for you to prove.", he said his voice clipped.

"How can you just stand there so heartlessly?!!", I screamed standing up, "DOING NOTHING?!? Except trying to keep me here in this prison from my father, you bitch!"

I felt my chest tighten with fear and shock as the word left my mouth.. not because I feared what he would do because I called him that, but because I promised I would never say the word.

I've never used it except for the one time I repeated it two months ago.

Dad told me to never say it. And I promised I wouldn't.

And as soon as he was gone, I had just used it. How could I...??

I took a step back my eyes wide, sitting down in the chair silently with my head hung low with shame. I could smell the smoke from my stained red shirt as more wet tears ran down my face.

I heard the business man sniff importantly before letting out a haughty kind of laugh, "That's right son, know your place."

A spark of anger ran through me but it was immediately quenched with sadness and grief.

I then heard him walking out of the room and locking the door. The cold harsh click of the door rung through my ears before my vision swam and more dread settled in my stomach.

When my vision went back to normal I found myself in a warm, cozy room with two bunk beds and cerulean walls.

The place smelled of baked goods and sandalwood candles. Nostalgia washed over me as I felt a safeness I hadn't felt since my father's death.

I walked over to the window and saw children playing outside, the plush green grass filled with boys and girls. I touched the window softly as I heard laughter and felt my soft hoodie draped over my head.

It smelled faintly of lavender and the red and white cotton hoodie gave me a sense of shelter.

My first home...

Sadness filled the pit of my stomach as I remembered how I had thrown this decent home away by running off.

And as if the whole purpose of visiting this place was just to torture my heart, the scene swam and changed before my eyes.

I grasped for the lovely scene, trying to stop the change, but there was nothing I could do as I was whisked away.

I found myself, as I could see properly again, inside a damp drafty room.

I looked around, immediately noticing the horrible condition I was in.

Bruises of purple and blue lined my arms and my legs while I felt a pulsing pain around my right eye.

But my injuries were the least of my worries as I saw my room and its sad accommodations.

The glass to my window was stained with what looked like dirt and specks of blood. What made the window even more concerning to me were the prison bars were over it, locking me in. The bed was nothing more then an excuse of a mattress, completely rock hard with dangerous springs, otherwise a death trap waiting to happen.

The whole room was disgusting and ragged.

I gagged, the smell almost making me want to vomit.

I opened the door hesitantly, my bare feet scraping the cold ugly-patterned tiled floor as I felt an impossible pit of desperation in my stomach even more then last time.

This was the beginning of hell...

I didn't want to be here... and I was here all because I was stupid enough to try to get off all by myself...

"KEITH!!! GET YOUR ROTTEN ASS OVER HERE NOW!!", a scratchy bad-tempered voice screamed as fear jolted through me.

I stumbled as I hurried toward the voice, my instincts reminding and driving me forward before I could get punished.

Long unkempt hair covered my face as I stood before a middle aged women of about 30.

Her face was harsh and thin along with her cold amber eyes. Her smooth hands were on her hips as she glared at me, "What's this?", she demanded.

"What's what exactly?", I asked shakily, "I don't know what you're talking about..."

She sucked in her lip as she snarled at me, holding out a stale cleaning sponge, "This place is still filthy... you were supposed to clean it up."

I remembered... I was supposed to... but I had fallen asleep...

I felt myself shrink down as I took a small step back.

"I-I.. d-did my best...", I whispered, "There's j-just so much to c-clean... I got tired.. I swear I didn't mean to..."

I knew what was going to happen before I even finished my broken apology.

Sparks flew in my vision as I fell back, my other eye sporting a matching black eye. My teeth were already clenched, waiting for more impact. Then I felt it, more pain erupted through me, my back and stomach being kicked harshly as she screamed colorful insults in my burning ears.

"You stupid. Worthless. BRAT." She emphasized vehemently, "I GIVE YOU A HOME. AND. ALL. YOU. CAN. DO. IS. BE. USELESS."

"I'm sorry.. I'm so so sorry!!", I cried out weakly as she kicked me mercilessly, "Please! I'm so sorry..."

My whole tiny body was filled with more pain than I thought possible as I felt my hope drain away.

I curled up into a ball, crying uncontrollably as she picked me up by my shirt and slammed me into the wall.

I winced but didn't struggle, knowing if would result in even more torture.

"STOP CRYING NOW.", she demanded, "I don't have any sympathy for bastards such as yourself. So clean yourself up and finish cleaning up this hell of a household."

She then threw me to the ground, my stomach and face being the first things to hit the dirty cold tile.

I quickly sat up and swallowed, looking up at the heartless woman towering over me.

Throwing the sponge at me she flicked her wavy hair with one skinny finger, "I'll be back in an hour and if this place isn't sparkling, I'll make sure that my boyfriend and I will make you regret it.", she threatened.

I felt my heart leap into my throat as she turned and slammed the door, leaving me behind bruised in the filth and dark.

This hell-house I couldn't escape... every part of me ached. Inside and outside.

This place where I was abused and beaten; I could have just avoided this pain altogether if I had just stayed put- or better yet, saved my father somehow.

I felt a nagging inner voice grip my soul as I knew I was utterly useless...

What could I have done??

I was just a small child. Not even seven years of age when my father had been lost to the greedy, bright flames.

And that's when I found myself in the cold, unforgiving dark, a small dull light reflecting off the weapon I held in my small hand.

I was a bit taller now and my hair was even longer now. And my heart had been hurt beyond the point of no return...

My feet led me down the whisper silent hall as an air of foreboding settled on my shoulders. The feeling was electrifying.

I opened the door slowly and stepped in, my body almost in a trance as I stood over the excuse of a woman and her muscled boyfriend who slept peacefully in the soft bed.

They had tortured me, beaten me relentlessly, made me ashamed, forced me to do things no child should ever have to do...

I gripped the wooden handle of the kitchen knife tighter as I felt my heart beat get louder and faster.

I couldn't live this way any more... and running away hasn't worked, they had found me and made me pay the price. The only escape I had was in my hand.

This, I told myself in a mantra, is the ONLY way-

I pulled up every moment of pain I shared with them, every ounce of hate...

I raised my hand, knife glinting...

I struck.

And then their eyes opened wide with fear and anger.

"What the frick do you think you're doing?!!", the man cried as he saw the knife beside his face.

I had missed. Intentionally.

I didn't have the guts... and now I was going to take the consequences.

The woman was now awake too and her eyes darted back at me and the knife implanted in the pillow.

I gulped and pulled the kitchen cutlery away, backing up slowly as the man's face grew less fearful and more angry.

"Keith!! Put that thing down now!!", the woman ordered standing up pushing past her boyfriend, "I assure you whatever you think you can do with that, me and James over here can do ten-times worse!"

I felt my back up against the wall as she neared me, her lip curled up into a nasty grimace and her eyes throwing hate.

Fear coursed through me...

"S-Stay back!!", I managed to yell as I held the knife up at her, "I'm done with you hurting me!!!"

"How dare you point that thing at me?!", she shrieked, suddenly grabbing my wrist roughly, "I've taken care of you and given you food to eat and clothes on your back!! And THIS is how you repay me?!?"

"LET GO OF ME!!!", I screamed pulling away from her and slamming my back into the corner of the room, giving me more space.

She didn't listen.

As she grabbed at me again, this time for my throat and arm, I closed my eyes and swung.

My knife hit something solid and soft, hitting it with a sickening 'whump'.

A scream cut through the night as I felt warm liquid fly onto my face and clothes.

"YOU'RE GOING TO REALLY GET IT NOW KID!!", the man yelled as I opened my eyes, seeing the woman on the floor.

Red was everywhere...

Time seemed to slow down as I stared into my cruel caretaker's eyes.

Death.

I had taken a human life.

It wasn't as hard as I'd thought it would be... death happened every day. I had killed bugs and butchered pigs for that woman... I took life on a daily basis.

The wooden handle of my knife seemed friendly and familiar, no longer strange and foreign to me. I looked at the now- stained scarlet blade and felt a surge of power through me.

I could take a life... and I would do it again in order to survive.

The man was on me as I took those precious couple of seconds and adrenaline coursed through my veins, guiding my hand.

This time, I swung with intent.

I wasn't backing down.

The man punched me in the shoulder as I gritted my teeth and dodged his attempt to punch my jaw.

As he tried to knock me out, I ducked and turned my body over as I was underneath his muscled arm. Throwing my arm forward, I thrust with all my strength my knife... making it go straight through his heart.

He didn't even have time to scream.

Blood pooled over his shirt and dripped down the knife, making a small thin river of dark red run down my hand and forearm.

I ripped the blade out and rolled out of the way as the man keeled over, his eyes wide and empty.

Quiet. Deafening silence.

I stared at the two bodies and the mess that covered the wooden floor and cheap rug.

I panted heavily, the rush catching up to me as I felt exhaustion and stress wash over me.

The smell of blood filled the place as I touched my face gently and pulled away, looking at my stained fingers.

I should've screamed. Should've felt something now it was all over. Something... ANYTHING.

But I didn't.

I only turned and left that dark place, leaving behind my own dark secrets.

And no one found out-

Suddenly I sat up, wide awake and breathing hard as I realized I was in cold sweat.

My heartbeat raced as I tried to calm myself down.

I glanced at my hands and sighed in relief as no red blood covered them as they had in my dream.

Everything had just been a bad dream...

Guilt swelled up in me as I swallowed and stared at my hands, not because of blood, but because I knew everything in that dream were memories. Real things that had happened in my past.

But why... after all this time..?

I grabbed my head and clenched it tightly, gritting my teeth as the dream swept through my mind clear and fresh.

I hadn't thought about those memories for the longest time... hadn't dreamed of those incidents since I was 9. So why all the sudden..??

I took a shaky breath and looked around the dark room, mercifully seeing no one was keeping watch over me.

I had to make sure no one found out about my past... I couldn't let anyone, not even Shiro, know what I had done.

Hey paladudes! Glad to see you're still wanting updates! ThX 4 supporting me- ✨