𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤
-𝟎𝟎𝟔-
𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝟏𝟗𝟏𝟗

Valerie had gotten the job. And although she was aimlessly cleaning tables and pouring drinks as the day went by, she found it a lot less stressful that what she had previously been doing. Valerie had a constant knot in her stomach as the hours passed. And she didn't know if it was because she was pregnant or because of John.

"Is it always this busy on a Friday?" Valerie asked Grace when returning behind the bar. Grace smiled slightly. "I'd say the least busiest day would be a Tuesday afternoon," she said.

Valerie nodded along and took a deep breath. "Thank you, Grace. For getting me this job. It means a lot."

Grace shook her head. "It's no problem."

"Evening," Tommy placed an empty whiskey bottle in front of them. "Get us another, Grace." He sent the blonde away. Valerie stood with a nervous expression. "I'm getting the impression you've found out then." He suggested.

She bit the inside of her cheek and responded with a simple nod. "And I do not wish to talk about it."

Tommy leaned forward. "That baby inside of you will grow up a bastard, Valerie." He said, using her real name despite not being told by her what it was. She let the name thing go over her head. "Well, Thomas, I don't know what it is that you expect me to do." She said with defeat.

Tommy went to speak but was quickly interrupted by his Aunt. "Your brothers are fighting over that bloody game again." Polly informed him. Tommy scoffed and went to see what was the matter.

"What can I get you?" Valerie asked.

Polly gave her a quick once over. "So you're who's got our John acting like a child?" She asked. Valerie tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Don't worry, love, you aren't missing out on much." Polly joked.

Valerie would have loved to laugh with the woman but couldn't find the energy to.

"What's your name, love?"

She hesitated slightly. "Florence." She lied. Polly took out a cigarette and lit it. "Your real name." Polly asked. Valerie sucked in a breath and chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. "Valerie."

"Well, Valerie. Whatever it is that you and John had going on, I'm sorry that it's ended the way it has." Polly tried to put two and two together and gathered that they did indeed have a thing together and she had found out about the arranged marriage between John and Esme.

Valerie looked down and folded the cloth in her hands. "I had a job to do." She shrugged. The best way for her to get over it would be to pretend like he was just another client.

"Sure you did." Polly smirked. Her eyes traveled down to Valerie's stomach. "And i'm assuming you won't be doing a job like that anymore." She guessed.

Valerie swallowed hard and placed a hand over her stomach as if to hide it. She didn't have a bump of any sort yet. But the way Polly looked at her, it was like she knew.

"Our Ada is pregnant too. She's twenty." Polly lowered her voice. "She was scared shitless at first but she soon got over it. She's ran off now to be with her husband." Polly tutted.

Valerie looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"Don't worry, I won't tell him." Polly assured her. "It is his, isn't it?"

Valerie nodded once.

"Where are you staying, Valerie?" There was no way in hell Polly would let the woman that was carrying her great-niece or nephew continue to stay in a whore house.

"The whore house round the corner." She said. Polly kissed her teeth. "How about we move you out of there?" Polly suggested. Valerie's eyes widened ever so slightly. "With John and Arthur living in their own houses we have space." She offered.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." The older woman nodded in agreement. "It'll be nice to have another girl in the house."

"I don't know.. I mean I wouldn't want to be intruding on anyone's business." She winced. Polly grabbed her hand. "You're carrying my future nephew or niece. I'm not having you staying in a place like that."

All Valerie could think about was Maria. She couldn't leave her. No way in hell.

"I'll consider it. Thank you. It means a lot." She said honestly.

-

"What do you mean you've invited her to live with us?" Tommy asked with his hands on his hips. Polly scowled at him. "I think you'll find that this is my house." She reminded him.

"John is marrying Esme Lee!" Tommy raised his voice.

"And he lives across the bloody road, what is your point?" Polly shot back. "She is carrying John's baby. It is his fault she is pregnant. The least we can do is take care of her if he isn't going to be around for that child." Polly pointed a finger at her second eldest nephew.

"People will know, Pol! They'll know that baby is one of ours. Whether it's.. whether it's Johns, mine or bloody Arthur's!" He threw his arms up dramatically. "It's not everyday we take in a whore of the street because she's pregnant."

"So marry her." Polly raised her whiskey glass up to her lips.

Tommy's mouth parted. "What?"

"If you're so concerned about what it'll do marry her. Then people will think it's your kid." Polly said. "It'll stop John from speculating it's his own and then keep the peace between us and the Lee's." She said.

"You're crazy." Tommy shook his head.

"You got her into this mess in the first place. So you're going to help get her out of it." Polly spoke sternly.

Tommy paced slightly. "I can't look after a child, Polly."

"Yes you can." She corrected. "Do you not remember when Finn and Ada were little?" She asked. "You were the one who took them to school. You were the one who locked them away in their rooms when your father came home drunk. It was you who held Ada when she found your mother face down in the cut."

Tommy stared blankly at the wall and began remembering everything his aunt was telling him.

"If you marry her, nobody will ever speak a negative word about her again. Do it for the child she has inside of her. No baby deserves to face the consequences of their parents actions."

Tommy wiped his mouth and sucked in a breath. "She won't marry me even if I asked."

"She will. That girl has nobody else, Thomas. I can see it in her eyes. She has no family. And now she believes she's going to have to raise a baby alone. Be a good man, Thomas."

"Invite her to John and Esme's wedding." Was the last thing he said before making his way up to bed.

Polly sat with a satisfied grin on her lips. She knew Tommy hadn't been the same since returning from France. She knew he wasn't looking for somebody to love. But she also knew that he wouldn't let a child grow up suffering.

He had to go through it himself. His mother killed herself and his father left ten years prior.

Tommy may have been a bad man but he wasn't evil.

-

John stood outside the whore house that Valerie stayed in. Maria stood before him, screaming for him to go away.

"I just want her to know.. that i'm sorry!" He slurred his words together, clearing drunk. Maria scoffed. "I told you I never wanted to see your face around here again." Maria reminded him. "You need to leave her alone."

"But i don't fuckin want to!" John shouted at her.

"I'm telling you to." Maria pointed a finger in his face.

John huffed and pushed her hand away. "Don't put your finger in my face." He muttered, almost unable to keep his balance. "Just tell her i'm here, please."

Maria shook her head in refusal. "She does not need the stress of you right now. Not whilst she's-" Maria stopped speaking and covered her mouth.

John lowered his hand that held the bottle of whiskey.

"Whilst she's what?"

"Whilst she's.." Maria quickly tried to think of something, "—listen it's none of your business what goes on in her life anymore. Valerie doesn't need you. You've dug your grave now it's time to lie in it." Maria hissed at him.

"Don't say that." He shook his head. "I bloody love her! Alright?"

"John go away." Maria demanded. "Don't do this to her. Not again. You've hurt her enough." She softened her tone. John looked down and shook his head. "Just tell her for me."

"No. I'm not telling her a thing." Maria said truthfully.

John began walking backward. "Fuck you." He said harshly. "I fucking love her."

"If you love her, truly love her, you'll leave right now." Maria whispered.

-

Maria entered Valerie's room again and found her curled up in the bed with a tear stained face like many nights before. "Is he gone?" She croaked. Maria hummed. "Come here," she whispered. Maria climbed in beside Valerie and hugged her tightly.

Valerie readjusted herself and lay in Maria's arms. She closed her eyes and for the first time that night felt at ease.

"Their aunt has asked me to live with them," she brought up.

"That's nice of her." Maria said. "Are you going to do it?" She asked. Valerie stayed quiet for a moment. "I think so but I can't leave you here."

"I'm fine, Val. I'm always fine. Alfie might be a prick but he looks after me." Maria assured her whilst running her thumb up and down Valerie's arm. "You should do it. Then you'll have people at your side. I'll still be here too of course. And if you leave here, that's money that can go toward your little baby instead of paying for this room."

"I suppose." Valerie nodded.

"It'll get better, Val. I promise you. And when that baby comes, they're going to be the luckiest baby ever to have a mother like you."

"You think?" Valerie chuckled slightly.

"No, I know."

-

John stumbled into Polly's house once again and almost knocked over the coat stand as he did so. "John is that you?" She asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah!" He said loudly.

"Shut up! Your brother is asleep in bed." Polly hushed him, hoping that the youngest Shelby would remain asleep despite the volume of his brother. "You have your own house why are you back here?"

"Cause I ain't fucking going home. It's too quiet there."

"Use better words." She told him. "You've been there again haven't you? At the girls place. Let me guess, she didn't agree to talk to you."

"I didn't get a chance. Her bastard friend wouldn't let me inside."

"Good. She's a smart girl for doing that. You'll only be causing more harm." Polly shrugged. John rolled his eyes and threw himself down onto the couch. "Why is it that Tommy uses me to end this war? Why not Arthur?"

"Arthur would kill Tommy if he did it to him. You, John, you're still young. A man in need of a wife, a woman in need of a husband." Polly wasn't completely for the idea of the arranged marriage but she had no say in any of it.

"Now if I were you, John.. I'd be out of this house before noon tomorrow." She raised her brows.

John furrowed his eyebrows together and just waved her off before ascending the wooden stairs. He had never been so annoyed with himself before. Yes it was out of his control but he felt so guilty. For the first time since before France, John knew how it felt to want to be around somebody.

But as much as he wanted her he now couldn't have her.

-

"Can I get you anything, love?" Polly asked Valerie who was sat on the couch. "Do you have tea?" Valerie crossed her arms over her stomach. Polly nodded once and placed the kettle over the stove.

"Thank you again, Polly." Valerie thanked. She couldn't be more grateful for what the woman had done for her.

"Like I said- I'm not going to leave you with no support when you're carrying a child of Shelby blood." She said plainly. A part of Valerie didn't want to be reminded who the father of her child was. Because he didn't know. He'd never know if she could help it.

The door opened and in came Tommy, a cigarette between his lips. "Valerie." He greeted simply. She offered him a soft smile. Polly eyed up her nephew and waited for him to ask the girl about what they had spoken about the day before.

It took a few moments but he finally clocked onto what he needed to do.

"Oh.. er Valerie." He began, tapping his cigarette against the metal ashtray. "How would you feel about coming to John's wedding?"

Her heart sank. "I don't know.." she trailed off. "I'll think about it but I can't make any promises."

"Well it'll be nice for you to join us. You're family now." Tommy continued. Family. Something she had never really had.

It felt weird for someone like Tommy to call her his family.

©-shelbysecret-

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Authors Note:

-Any ideas feel free to comment at the bottom.
- Also my apologies for a slightly short chapter. I want to fit John's wedding and something else into the next chapter.

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