there is no you without me

ATHENA WAKES WITH AN ACHE THAT TRAVELS THROUGH HER WHOLE BODY. The distant throb of soreness makes her groan and bury her head back into the pillows.

Forcibly, she lifts her head and looks around the mostly untouched room she'd chosen for herself in the boarding house and heaves a tired sigh, already done with the day before it even started.

By the time she's downstairs and dressed, she can't help but wince and rub at her chest through the fabric of her dress, wondering how restlessly she must've slept to make her body hurt so bad. Even after her brief stint of unconsciousness at her house last night, she hadn't felt this sore.

Briefly, her hand drifts to fumble with the small gold charm around her neck and she drags her thumb along the small lines of engraving there, relishing in the way it makes her skin tingle.

With a grimace, Athena grabbed her bag, slung it over her shoulder, and walked down the hallway, hearing the faint echo of Stefan and Damon's voices.

When she enters the living room, they both stop and face her and she scoffs under her breath at them. "I'm going to school, cheerleaders are required to help out with school functions."

Damon furrows his brows, facing her inquisitively. "What school function?"

"The job fair."

"How adorable. You in your little uniform, promoting the nine-to-five life," The vampire simpers, making Athena roll her eyes.

"The idea of a nine-to-five job is sad and monotonous, and I certainly don't plan on wasting my life away in some boring cubicle, wishing I wasn't stuck in a dead-end job with a husband or wife I hate and children I resent for ruining my life. But volunteer work makes me look good on college applications, so I can at least fake it 'til I make it."

Damon heaves a sigh, eyes now brightening with something much less artificial than his previous look. "Teenagers these days are so positive," He rolls his head, smirking as he looks at Stefan, who's yet to take his eyes off of Athena. "Don't you agree, Stefan?"

The green-eyed man startles from his stupor and glares at his brother, clearing his throat with a cough. "Yeah, she's a real ray of sunshine," He can't stop the sarcasm that laces in his voice and immediately wishes that Damon wasn't in the room with them because he's going to make some asinine, Damon-like comment that just makes things worse.

"Oh, are we having a lover's quarrel? Do tell,"

"Oh, fuck off," Athena scoffs, turning on her heel. "I'm going to school, try not to kill each other– or do, what does it matter anymore?"

Athena stomps off towards the front door, swinging it open right as the doorbell echoes through the house. She stutters in her frustrated gait and startles at the sight of Liz Forbes standing before her. "Sheriff Forbes?"

"Athena? What are you doing here?"

The teenager shrugs, feigning ignorance. "Staying here while my dad is out of town. You know how his trips get."

Liz nods knowingly, and Athena's jaw opens and snaps shut quickly again. "What are you doing here? Is it Damon?"

"Actually, yes–"

"Damon!" Athena turns her head, unnecessarily yelling through the house simply because she knows it'll make his head pound. "I think you're being arrested!"

Liz chuckles, but quickly pushes the reaction away when Damon Salvatore appears behind Athena with a slight frown on his face. "Don't worry, Damon, I'm not arresting you. Just have some things to talk to you about regarding," The woman trails off and Damon takes the cue, quickly looking down at Athena who's got an accusing look on her face as she meets his stare.

"Off you go, Athena," He pushes her through the doorway past Liz, making her snap her head around to glare at him. "Have a great day at school, and don't make any freshman cry before lunch!"

"No promises, asshole!"

Damon waits until she slams the door of her car before he meets the Sheriff's inquisitive stare again with a feigned, charming chuckle that puts the woman right at ease. "Teenagers, right?"

──────

Athena groans under her breath when she sees Elena standing beside her locker, and she resists the urge to simply bounce the brunette's head off the metal and watch her slump to the ground in a pile of knockoff brands and beat-up sneakers.

But, knowing her father would be less than happy to deal with an assault charge from hundreds of miles away before noon, she pushes the urge away and takes the route of the silent treatment as she opens her locker.

"Um, Athena?"

The brunette in question barely blinks at her presence.

"Athena, I just need to talk to you really quick. It's about Damon."

Finally, she pauses, halfway through exchanging her notebooks. She raises a dark eyebrow, peering at the girl. "What about him?"

Elena sighed, relieved that she could garner even a modicum of Athena's attention. She tucks a piece of pin-straight hair behind her ears and leans in, making sure no one hears their conversation in passing. "He attacked Bonnie last night, he could've killed her. Did you know?"

"Of course I knew."

Elena's eyes widen, but she stifles any outward reaction that could draw eyes their way. "Where were you?!"

"In bed, watching a terrible soap opera on TV. What could I have done to save Bonnie's life, Elena? In case you forgot, Damon's a vampire and I'm a human– and I don't like Bonnie."

Elena scoffs at her nonchalant demeanor. "Athena, we live in a world where vampires are real, we go to school with them and have probably walked past dozens of them since we were kids. Is that not life-altering enough to put aside our differences and save each other?"

Athena stared at the girl incredulously, gently shutting her locker before turning to face the girl completely. "You wanna know what life-altering is, Elena? It's drowning underneath a bridge when you're sixteen. It's watching your best friend's parents drown, too, and being unable to do anything about it. It's laying in a hospital bed, not knowing if one of your oldest friends lived or if she drowned, too, only to hear that not only did you get away without a single scratch on you, but that you lost your parents, and still– the first thing you chose to do was ruin my life."

Athena steps towards her, making Elena take a step backward. "Life-altering is not a handful of vampires doing what they need to do to survive. I trust Damon because he's been doing this longer than you and I have been breathing. You have no right to march into his life and tell him what he's doing is wrong when he's only doing what he has to do to survive."

"How can you say that what he's doing is right when it's only ending up with people getting hurt? If it weren't for Stefan, Bonnie and I both would be dead at Damon's hand by now. And now he's just up and–"

"Well, thank god for Saint Stefan, Elena, but frankly, I don't give a damn. You wanna know why I haven't had my life on the line since I found out about vampires?" She huffs an empty laugh, not bothering to let the girl finish her sentence. "Because I don't run my mouth about things I know nothing about. What do you know about Damon, or Stefan for that matter? What do you know about family, Elena Gilbert, when all you've done is get yours killed?"

Athena's head jerks to the side with a loud clap and she grits her teeth when she realizes Elena has just slapped her in the middle of the hallway.

Quickly, Athena backs her up against the lockers and peers into her fear-filled eyes. "If you ever lay your hands on me again, I won't even bother going to Damon before I rip you apart. Do you understand? I will kill you, Elena Gilbert."

She shoves herself away from Elena and brushes her hair off her shoulder, glancing around the thankfully empty hallway. "You and Bonnie need to stay the hell away from me, or I'll make sure you both regret it."

──────

"Athena! Athena, I know you can hear me,"

She clenches her jaw, not bothering to slow her pace down in her useless attempt to get away from Stefan. Her eyes pinch shut with an exasperated sigh as he wraps his hand around her arm and pulls her towards him, effectively cutting her off.

"Athena, I've been looking for you all day. We need to talk."

She scoffs, shaking her head as she pulls her arm out of his grasp and continues walking across the parking lot of the school towards the football field where Caroline and the rest of the cheerleaders are waiting. "God, that phrase is almost as annoying coming out of your mouth as it is Elena's."

Stefan furrows his brows, quickly catching up with her pace. "You talked to Elena? About what?"

Athena notes his borderline fearful tone and she gives him a suspicious look that he tears his green eyes away from quickly. "She told me how you played hero last night and stopped Damon from killing Bonnie, and I told her I didn't give a damn. There was some minor slapping– not on my part, shockingly, but I followed it up with a murder threat, so it wasn't a complete waste of my time."

"Elena slapped you? What– why would she do that?"

"I called her a vindictive orphan,"

Stefan's eyes widened as he stared at Athena, who simply shrugged him off and continued towards the football field, her feet clicking along the asphalt rhythmically. "Okay, but I really do need to tell you something, Athena. And I need you to understand–"

"Can it wait, Stefan?" She stops, finally facing him completely. "I'm late for practice, and I have the career fair tonight. Can we just talk when I get home?"

She doesn't bother waiting for an answer before she turns away and enters the girl's locker room, leaving Stefan to drop his head down in defeat and blow a heavy sigh out from between his clenched teeth.

At this point, he doesn't even think he can tell her that he's leaving. He's far too afraid of what it will do to them both.

With a grimace, Stefan rolls his shoulders back, trying to relieve himself of the soreness that's been ebbing through his body since he woke up.

He can only hope that Athena comes to him before it's too late to explain.

──────

"So, what now?" Athena holds the compass in front of her, watching the flittering arrow point at Damon's sudden appearance before skipping around a bit more near the building they were waiting outside of.

"Give me that, first of all," He snatches the compass from her hand and she glares at him.

"Why couldn't this wait until after school was out?"

He rolls his eyes at her, glancing at the building the compass had led Athena to. "If there's another vampire in town killing people, it needs to be handled right away and I can't use this thing because I interfere with the signal."

Athena sighs, crossing her arms over her chest with a slight shiver. "It's cold, can we go inside?"

"Well, you probably wouldn't be cold if you didn't wear dresses every day. And– no, you're not coming inside, if the vampire is here, it'll be too dangerous."

"You're just jealous because I look better in a dress than you ever could," She huffs, dropping her arms as he begins to walk toward the back of the building. "And I'm not letting you go inside alone, what if the vampire tries to kill you?"

Damon gives her an incredulous look over his shoulder, seeing her follow after him. "Don't you have to be at school for the job fair?"

Athena stops, her jaw snapping shut as she remembers her previous obligations. With a childish sigh, she steps back from Damon who takes an invisible sigh of relief at her surrender. "Fine. But I swear to god, if you don't call me when you're done, I'll kill you."

"Can't kill me if I'm already dead."

"But I can try,"

──────

Athena stops short, holding armfuls of binders for a few different tables set up around the school. Her eyes dart to where Caroline is standing, hurt shining in her blue eyes. As she follows Caroline's line of sight, she narrows her eyes into a glare at the proximity of Elena and Matt.

With a scoff, she approaches Caroline. "She really has no decency, does she?"

Caroline startles a bit, feigning disinterest in her supposed friend, and ignores the way her heart aches at the sight of Matt, and now Athena. "I mean, she had to find something to do since you basically mounted Stefan in front of her to stake your claim."

"Wow, you really painted a picture with that one," Athena rolls her eyes, taking no offense from the blonde's comments. "Just admit that Elena is selfish and I'll be on my way."

With a slightly frustrated sigh, Caroline gives her a slight glare but is unable to hide the amusement in her eyes. "Fine. Elena is infuriatingly selfish, and right now, I am trying to burn her with my eyes. Will you go now? I want to wallow in peace."

Athena smiles, nodding her surrender. "Come find me when you're done wallowing," Leaving Caroline on her own, she quickly passes out the binders to each of their designated tables and gives fake grins to each adult who thanks her, including Mayor Lockwood and Sheriff Forbes.

Her eyes linger on the two adults for a moment before she turns away, doing her best not to act suspicious. Scanning the room, she briefly looks at Elena and Matt again before her eyes fall to the familiar frame in the doorway.

Her heart stutters in her chest and she's suddenly reminded of the ache in her body that had yet to dwindle, as it seems to beat in time with her pulse. With a frustrated sigh that mirrors the one Caroline had given her moments ago, she walks towards him, heels clicking on the tile.

"I'm guessing you're not here to plan your future?"

Stefan smiles wryly, missing the way Elena seems to forget her entire conversation with Matt the moment she spots him with Athena. "Can we talk somewhere private?"

Athena contemplates for a moment before nodding, gesturing to the dimmed hallways of the school. "I have to make some more mock applications from the front office."

Stefan follows after her diligently, watching her determined stride with a slight, uncontrollable smile. The way she tugs at the sleeves of her dress, making sure she's as put together as possible.

Clearing her throat, Athena snaps him from his trailing train of thought, gestures to the empty office, and flicks the light on as they enter. She heads behind the desk, grabbing a keycard and a small stack of papers before walking over to the copier.

"So, what are you doing here?"

Stefan leans against the brick wall, sighing to himself. "You know, I wanted to be a doctor, when, uh,"

"When you were still human," She finishes, turning to face him with curiosity gleaming in her eyes for the first time in two days. His stomach turns at the thought of being the one to take the light from her eyes.

"Yeah. I couldn't because of the blood, though," He clears his throat lightly, the slight hum of the copy machine grating his sporadic nerves. "I've dabbled in a bunch of different things, though."

"Didn't love anything enough to stick to it?" She hums, propping her elbow up on the top of the printer.

He shakes his head, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "No, I loved it all. I just had to move on before anybody could notice that I wasn't getting any older."

Unease settles in Athena's chest and she tries her best to hide it, shifting her weight from leg to leg. Subconsciously, her hand rises to fumble with the necklace sitting on her chest and Stefan's eyes follow the movement. "Where are you going with this, Stefan?"

"I always had to leave, Athena," He bites the bullet, unwilling to stall any longer. He couldn't risk losing any more time, he had to be long gone by morning, even if the thought of leaving Athena behind physically pained him. "I can't– I can't stay."

Her eyes widen and her jaw clenches in an attempt to stave off the emotion that's suddenly flooding her. "So, what, are you– are you saying that you're leaving?"

Stefan nods silently, and Athena's breath hitches in her throat. She takes a wary step towards him, dropping her now trembling hand by her side.

"Why? Why do you have to leave?"

"I would've had to sooner or later," He tries an easy out, despite knowing that Athena wasn't going to give up without a fight.

"So you're choosing sooner?" She huffs a wet laugh, shaking her hair out of her face. "You don't have to leave, Stefan. At least not right now,"

Stefan runs a hand through his hair, wishing he couldn't see the tears in her radiant eyes. They shine up at him, so devastatingly beautiful to look into. "I'm doing what's best, Athena. For everyone involved. I just wanted you to know before we were gone, it's the least you deserve."

"The least I deserve?" She echoes disbelievingly. "I deserve the truth, Stefan. I thought that's what I'd been getting, but apparently, I was wrong."

"You have gotten the truth, Athena, but there are some things you're better off not knowing. At the end of the day, Damon and I, we're just a blip on your radar. One day, you'll forget us."

"I don't want to, don't you understand that?" She scoffs, shaking her head as a hot tear streams down her cheek. "I don't want you to leave, I don't want Damon to leave. It's not fair, and I don't care how childish that sounds, but god– you want to talk about the least I deserve? The least I deserve is to have the only people who care about me stick around!"

Stefan bites his cheek, clenching his jaw stubbornly. "I'm not doing this because I want to, Athena, can't you see that? I don't want to leave Mystic Falls– I don't want to leave you. But I'm doing what I have to do to keep you safe, and if I can do that by leaving you behind then I'm going to."

"I don't need you to protect me, Stefan! I got into all of this because I care about Damon, and I care about you, and I'm fully capable of making my own damn decisions, so why won't you let me make this one?"

"Because I can't lose you!"

His declaration silences her and she blinks another tear down her cheek, wiping it off before the saltiness hits the corner of her mouth. Stefan clenches his fists at his sides, and Athena takes a stuttering breath as she looks into his watery green eyes.

"But you will," Her voice is a weak whisper, and Stefan's face twists into a frown as he bites back his own tears. Crying seems selfish when he sees the pain in her eyes, the pain that he put there. "You'll lose me if you leave. You say that one day I'll forget you, but it's you that will forget me. You'll live on for eternity and a few hundred years in the future I'll be nothing to you. I'll spend my entire life wishing you would come back, but you won't."

Stefan shakes his head, wrapping his hands around her arms with a slight squeeze. "You can't waste your life on me, Athena."

"I don't want you to leave," She drops her head on his chest, and he wraps his arms around her, resting his chin atop her head right as a tear spills down his cheek.

I don't want to leave you.

He doesn't say it out loud, he simply squeezes her against him tighter, wishing it were different. He'd spend forever wishing he could've made their time together last longer.

Slowly, he pulls away from her and wipes the tears from beneath her eyes. She steps away from him and grabs a tissue from nearby, keeping her eyes closed.

She feels the ghost of a kiss press against her temple and when her eyes flutter open, she's alone in the office. She feels her heart crack in two, and the silence echoes in her ears like a scream.

──────

Athena ducks her head down as she hurries out of the school into the chilled darkness with a sigh that trembles through her chest. She wrings her hands out, gnawing anxiously at her bottom lip as she bites back more tears and hopelessly searches the parking lot for Stefan.

"Athena Hunt? Is that you?"

Athena startles, her eyes widening as she sees the familiar face glide by in a car. Forcing a smile onto her still-damp face, she tilts her head. "Oh, my god, Logan Fell from Channel 9, is that you?"

The man in question scoffs, mirroring her smirk with one of his own. "I used to babysit you and Caroline, don't mock me."

Athena sighs, stepping a bit closer to his car. "Well, I was supposed to go home with Caroline but I'm pretty sure she's fighting with her mom inside. Apparently, Liz doesn't approve of broadcast journalism– no offense."

"I can give you a ride if you need it?" He offers, perking a brow. "It's not a problem."

She contemplates it for a moment, looking back at the school brimming with people she can't stand to be around, and the thought of a warm bed comforts her in the slightest, so she agrees with a nod.

Quickly, she gets into the passenger side, missing a particular pair of blue eyes watching her confusedly.

"Where to?"

"To the–" She stops herself from directing him to the boarding house and sighs. "Just to my house, I guess. You remember the way, right?"

He nods with a smile but points a warning finger at her. "Just because you're grown up now doesn't mean you can't get away with no seatbelt."

Athena rolls her eyes playfully but twists to grab the seatbelt. She stops briefly to flick her hair out of her face and before she can continue securing herself in the car, her head bounces off the window and everything goes dark.

──────

Caroline stomps into the school, her thin brows furrowed into a glare. Quickly, she sees the man she had been looking for, and grabs his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "Why on earth did Athena just get a ride from Logan Fell, and not from you?"

"What? Caroline, what are you talking about?" Stefan's heart races immediately, his eyes darting between the blonde and the exit doors to the parking lot.

"I just watched Athena get a ride home from Logan Fell, the dude from the news, you know?" She looks at him incredulously. "Where were you to offer her a ride first? A girl like Athena is in high demand!"

"Caroline, did you see for sure that it was Logan Fell?"

The blonde drops her grip off of Stefan's arm and she eyes his suddenly fearful stance warily. "Yeah, why?"

Stefan mutters a curse under his breath, running his hands through his hair.

"Stefan? What's going on? Is Athena in danger?"

Stefan shakes his head, grabbing Caroline's arm and pulling her towards the doors. "I'll explain everything later. Right now, we need to find Athena."

────── 

author's note; lots going on here... always... more chaos to come :)

originally published; 11.13.20.

edited: 11.28.23. 

- liz