"No, Miyoung-ah, it's fine!" Soobin was standing in the door, trying to leave his friends' place after spending yet another evening at their place, "You don't have to drive me either, okay? And don't try to make me sleep over again, you know I have to get home!"

"But–"

"Mom let him go, please?" it was Arin. She was standing a bit behind her mother, a glass of water in her hand as she shook her head, "Soobin is capable of getting home on his own."

Soobin chuckled, and bowed towards Choi Miyoung, before waving goodbye and starting the walk back to his own house. 

Honestly, if he thought he had any choice, he'd sleep over at theirs like he had so many times before, but his parents would surely get upset with him. You spend too much time with them, they'd say, you should focus on your studies.

It was hard to focus on literally anything but his intrusive thoughts as he walked there, alone in the dark with bluetooth headphones that were fighting for their life on 20%. If they ran out of battery he'd be left fully at his own thoughts mercy, which never ended well. Last time he'd been crying into his pillow, praying to whatever would listen to him that his parents didn't hear. This time... would he sit down by the side of the road and sob?

As he walked there, the thoughts he'd had lingering in his head for literal months came back yet again.

Why did he get so giddy every time he was there? Why did he try so hard to always be near him? Shouldnt he feel like this around her, I mean it was what everyone was expecting, so why didn't he? How could it be that he felt like this around him, and not her?

Why did he even feel this for any of the two, they'd been friends for ages so it didn't even make sense.

"Choi Soobin!"

"Sorry for being so late..." he bit his bottom lip as he bent down to untie his shoes. 

"You should be! Why do you even stay at theirs so often? It does you no good to hang out with them."

"Mom–" she didn't even let him start the sentence before interrupting him. "No, I'm not hearing it. Soobin-yah, you have to focus on school! Your math grade has dropped insanely much, and so has your P.E grade. Honestly, what grade of yours hasnt dropped?"

"Sorry..."

"Apologise to yourself, you're only ruining your own future Binnie."

He nodded at her, his eyes still focused on the floor even though he'd already taken off his shoes. He bit down even harder on his lip to try and hold in the tears building up inside him, he really didn't need this right now. 

"But hey! At least you're not a slutty little gay boy, so I should be proud, eh?" She laughed, but it wasn't funny. He couldnt bring himself to laugh or even nod her way, he just walked up the stairs and shut the door to his room.

Fuck how he wished he would've stayed with Arin, her parents... and Yeonjun. Not right now, please, not right now.

a/n:

sorta... very angsty chapter? sorry im just in an angsty mood rn :')

anyways go stan minxeeo, hes the only reason i keep going /hj, no but he's superior and deserves all the love possible on this planet <3

= = =

SOTC

[24/12 - 22]

https://youtu.be/omp965oK0p8

spotify link ::

Song ; SHARPENER by CAVETOWN

cavetown supremacy, plus im in tHAT kinda mood right now lol