Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait for this chapter haha

I've been incredibly busy lol

But anyway, enjoy the chapter!!!

CWs/TWs: mentioned/referenced death/suicide

.•°*°•.

When Scar woke up, he could hear chattering coming from the kitchen. It was his grandmother and Mumbo and... Jimmy? Scar sat upright on the sofa, leaning to the left so he could see them through the doorway.

"Thank you for telling us," Scar's Nana said sweetly, her voice hoarse. It looked like Mumbo was helping her stand. "I'll make sure Scar knows when he wakes- Oh, he's awake," she said, turning toward Scar. "Sweetie, come here." She beckoned him over and he yawned before waddling into the kitchen.

"What's up?" Scar asked sleepily. He looked at Mumbo only to be met with wet, puffy eyes. "What's wrong?"

Mumbo looked over at Jimmy, who was being clung to by Scott (who Scar didn't even notice until now). "Can you guys tell him?" he asked softly.

That made Scar really nervous. Whatever it was, it was something Mumbo didn't have the strength to say, and that was saying something. He usually never got that upset about something. "Wh-what is it?" Scar asked, shifting uncomfortably.

Jimmy cleared his throat and Scott looked away. Jimmy started slowly, "Grian's, uh-"

"No, stop!" Scar couldn't keep himself from interrupting Jimmy. He knew he could be slow sometimes, but he could connect a few dots once in a while. With Mumbo crying and not being able to say anything, and now Jimmy mentioning Grian... Scar knew exactly what was going on. "Don't tell me," Scar said quietly. "I- I don't want to know- He can't-" He sniffled. "There's no way..."

Scott looked at Scar now, then whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"No, you're lying," Scar said, then sobbed. "You're lying!"

Scar's grandmother sighed. "Hunny-"

"No, they're lying!" Scar cried, then looked back at Jimmy. "You're just messing around... Right?"

Jimmy shook his head.

Scar shook his head, rubbing furiously at his eyes. "No, stop, you're a liar!"

"Sweetheart," Scar's grandmother said softly, "you know Grian's been sick."

"He was supposed to have beaten it!" Scar wailed. "He was supposed to be better, I- We were supposed to celebrate graduation, and Mumbo and I-" He paused, looking at Mumbo again, who was starting to cry again. "We were supposed to have forever again..."

Scott moved forward and silently hugged Scar, gently wrapping their arms around him in a warm and safe embrace. It was a moment before Scott whispered, "I know."

Scar couldn't hold back the hurricane of tears and sobs that came after.

Scott held Scar as he sobbed. The brunette grasped onto Scott as tight as he possibly could. Though Scott didn't seem to mind too much, almost like he was used to this. Mumbo turned away and covered his mouth as he cried, too, earning a sympathetic hug from Scar's grandmother.

Jimmy just stood there silently. Not like anything he could've done would've made things any better. He couldn't stop Grian from dying and magically make the cancer go away. It wasn't like Jimmy was God or something. But he felt a little useless in the moment as he watched two of his friends break down in fits of sobs and wails, knowing there was nothing he could do to ease their pain. Or anyone else's for that matter. Not even his own.

It was roughly fifteen minutes before either of them calmed down and when they did, Scott was reluctant to leave.

"I just want to make sure they're alright, you know?" Scott said softly to Jimmy, who had pulled them away as Scar's grandmother made hot chocolate for the two boys. "You know his grandmother shouldn't be doing so much, even now."

Jimmy sighed. "I know, I know." He kissed Scott's forehead. "But we have things to do. The house still isn't put together and we have furniture to drop off at Liz-"

"Babe." Scott put their hands on Jimmy's shoulders. "Relax. We can take care of all that later. Let's be there for Scar and Mumbo."

"And do what? Sob with them?"

Scott frowned. "Jimmy-"

"What? They probably don't want comfort right now," the blonde said. "Maybe they want to sulk or maybe they don't want to think about it at all or-" Jimmy was quieted by Scott's finger covering his lips.

Scott smiled gently at Jimmy. "You don't want to think about it," he said, and Jimmy nodded. "That's fine. You can go do whatever it is that you're wanting to do. Is it okay if I hang back here for, let's say... an hour? You can pick me up and then we can go get the furniture to give to Liz and Joel. Okay?"

Jimmy stared at Scott for a moment, then sighed. "Fine."

"Thank you," Scott said before standing on his toes to kiss Jimmy briefly. "Go treat yourself some frozen custard or something. You deserve it."

Jimmy snickered. "Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Scott waved as Jimmy walked out the door, closing it behind him. Sighing, Scott turned to Scar, who sat quietly at the dining room table by himself. "Hey," Scott said softly, sitting down next to Scar.

"I prayed," Scar said, not looking up at Scott.

"What?"

Scar sniffled. "I prayed," he repeated, "just like my parents taught me to. I begged whatever god is out there to fix him, but it- it didn't work-" He sobbed and buried his face in his hands. "Nothing I do ever fixes anything."

Frowning, Scott reached over the table to put a hand on the younger's shoulder. "Hey, I get it," they whispered. "I did the same thing when I was in that accident on the bridge with Zach. When we were sinking in the river, I screamed and cried and begged the universe to let Zach survive, because as much of an asshole as he was, I loved him and I knew that nobody ever deserves to die. Even still, he did die and it hurt me a lot. But trust me when I say this; your story does not end with Grian's. Just because his life is over doesn't mean yours is, too. Trust me, I know. When I lost Lauren and Zach, I was so sure my life was over. I felt like there was nothing left for me. But that's not true."

"But that's not fair," Scar murmured, lifting his face from his hands. "You had Jimmy to go back to."

Scott smiled gently at Scar, wiping a stray tear from Scar's cheek. "And you have so many good friends to go back to," he reminded him. "You have me and Jimmy, Joel, Lizzie, Mumbo, you have your grandmother who has supported you since you were little. Not to mention the rest of your friends from school."

Scar looked away.

"Unfortunately, losing people is a part of life," Scott continued. "That's just the truth. But do you know why we lose people?" Scar shook his head. "To make room for new people to come into our lives. When we lose our friends or family, whether literally or figuratively, we're able meet new people who can lift us up and be new friends. Sometimes there's just not enough room in our lives for everyone that's meant to be in it. We all go through periods and stages, including the people we know. That's just the cycle of life.

"And I'm not telling you to move on because that would be ridiculous of me to say, but you have to keep going, okay? Life doesn't stop because you lost your best friend and lover. Trust me, if the world ended when we lost people we loved, nobody would be standing on this earth right now. That's the truth. I wouldn't be here. Jimmy and Lizzie wouldn't be here. Mumbo wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be here."

Scar finally looked back up at Scott, silent tears streaming down his face. "But why does it have to be like that?" he mumbled, stifling sobs.

Scott sighed. "I don't know, Scar," he said sadly. "I don't think there's a single person on this planet that wants it to be that way. But it's something we have to come to terms with. You don't have to like it, you don't have to happy that it's like that, but it's the only thing in life that we can't change. So we have to live with it."

"I don't want to."

"Hey, neither do I." Scott smiled and scooted their chair closer to Scar's. "But we have people in our lives for a reason, right? We need each other to lift each other up and keep each other moving. Otherwise, there'd be no point, right? Just don't let Grian's end be your end. And who knows? Maybe there is something else out there. Another life, another world, another universe... Maybe heaven and hell are real. We'll never truly know. We just have to keep going, right?"

Scar's lower lip quivered as he nodded, causing Scott to smile bigger.

"There you go!" Scott said excitedly, nudging Scar a little. Scar started to cry a little more, but it wasn't particularly sad anymore. "I know how bad it hurts, but it'll get better. I promise. You'll be okay. Maybe not right now. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not next year. Maybe not in ten years. But somewhere along the way, you'll be alright. Healing is a lifelong journey, you know, and it's best spent in company. Maybe you and Mumbo will make up and live the rest of your lives together. Maybe you'll find someone new. But promise me you'll keep going, okay?"

Scar sobbed, then nodded. "I promise. Just as long as you promise that it really will get better."

Scott, tears in their eyes, wrapped their arms around Scar, squeezing him tightly. "I promise."

Scar returned the hug, letting out a long, deep breath. Something about relating to someone else's pain made him feel a lot better.

Maybe that's how Grian felt that night.

.•°*°•.

Grian was rapidly declining.

Joel checked his smartwatch. 13:04. It had been nearly four hours since Grian last spoke.

Since he last could speak.

He was noticeably weaker and paler, and every time Joel looked at him, his last words echoed in his mind.

"I know it's my time. I don't want it to be... but it needs to be."

Something about it seemed painfully poetic, like Grian was asking Joel to move on. But how could he? How could he ever move on from the boy he'd spent so much time and love on? How could he just forget him? Maybe he wasn't asking to be forgotten. Maybe he was asking to just be a memory. Maybe he wanted Joel to remember him but not to grieve him. But there was no doubt in Joel's mind that he'd be grieving this boy for a long, long time.

Joel sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat (those chairs were ungodly stiff and uncomfortable). He checked the time again. 13:06. He yawned, stretched, put his feet up, checked his phone. He got a text from Lizzie.

Liz ♡
I'm picking up your trazodone from Walgreens
Do you really take 200mg?

Joel snickered a little bit. His insomnia had been horrible lately and his doctor doubled his prescription in hopes that would help. He began to type his reply.

Then he heard a long tone.

.•°*°•.

:3