It was the same routine every day. I got up, had breakfast while Bradley and LB threw some insults at me, went to school, Hitch picked me up after school, he was one of the few I had left, we drove to Spectrum, got our work done, he drove me back, having dinner with LB and Bradley, same game as breakfast. Then I went to bed. In the middle of the night, I would wake up from nightmares worse than anything I had ever seen. whatever a man had seen. Even the giant old octopus I met on my second mission couldn't top it. Then I would lie there and cry until the morning broke. After that, it all started all over again. I didn't show my feelings, I pretended I didn't care about their insults. Like I don't have nightmares every night, like it doesn't hurt me that they see their "daughter" once a month and treat her very differently. I didn't show them that my "parents" hadn't come to a single meeting, my boyfriend had broken up, that I even had a boyfriend, how much the injuries I sustained on missions hurt.

But today was different. I was standing on the edge of a cliff. She started just after school. Hitch didn't pick me up today. Below the cliff lay the sea. And rocks. Lots of rocks. The chance of surviving the fall was 0%. There was no way I would survive the fall.

I've thought about suicide before. Back then, shortly after, they started treating me like that. It was shortly after a mission. I had a pretty bad gunshot wound in my stomach. It still hasn't fully healed. She still hurts. I figured if I could move away, succumb to my wounds. But nothing came of it. I was transported straight to the nearest hospital.

I didn't hear Hitch call me, I didn't hear LB step out and ask what I was doing. Why I was staring down that cliff so weird. I didn't hear what Hitch said either, I had already fallen.