Chapter 16: what's not lost cannot be found

January 1977

Back in Beauxbatons Asher and Apollo were struggling to cope with the lost of their friend. The three were always a tightly knit group occasionally adding in Ares or Gwaine, but it had always been the three. During breaks they would have week long sleepovers and if one of them wasn't there they would write them everyday. Without Annabelladonna there to fill the hole their group felt empty. They couldn't be Triple A (as they named themselves) without their third member. Now without her there they actually did their school work seeing as they couldn't do any of their normal routine without her. Like how once a month they would take a polyjuice potion and see if they could get through however long the potion lasted without being noticed. The first time they did it was weird but they decided to make it into a joke.

•Flashback•

In the middle of their fourth year Annabelladonna had lingering questions about what it felt like to live in a boys body. It was nothing more than a burning curiosity but she had talked to her best friends about it and they came up with a brilliant idea. She should use a polyjuice potion to turn into one of them, then she'd get to experience an hour or two walking in their shoes and they would experience a day in hers. After a month of brewing three potions Asher had placed one of his hairs in one and Bella's hair in the others. They made a pact to stay in their room to avoid embarrassing or uncomfortable situations. Bella knew that one of the boys would probably try to get with Gwaine as a joke while in her body (it would work too) so she made them promise to stay where she could see them. When the potion set in the could feel her skin bubbling and morphing as it changed, it was one of the oddest things she's ever felt. When she looked down she could see that her clothes were slightly stretched since Asher was significantly taller than her. She looked over at the boys but instead saw two clones of herself looking dazed. For the first few seconds no one spoke, just soaking in the weird sensation.

"So this is what it feels like to have a dick. Oh my god I have a dick. Like a dick dick. God this is weird. On that subject damn Asher you're hung, how are you single with a dick like this."

"Can you shut up now Bells? It'd be appreciated."

"Well someone's jealous, aren't ya Apollo."

"Y'know what I second his request, please shut up."

"Damn Ash you too? You guys are mean."

"Y'know this is kind of creepy, hearing your voice from my body is weird. How about we don't talk and just go to bed."

"You're gonna go play with my tits aren't you?"

"Technically they're mine now."

"Thank god for curtains."

Things were a bit awkward after that but when they realized that they could make it into a prank things soon returned to normal. After that they did everything they could to try and embarrass each other while under the potion by doing weird things or acting in certain ways in public. It kind of became a competition of who could embarrass the others the most.

•flashback over•

The boys and Bella still wrote to each other daily but it was different. Asher and Apollo wanted to know everything about Hogwarts and she wanted to know everything that went on while she was gone so it was mostly just about their environments and not about the stuff they used to talk about. They used to make lists of the top five people in their school that they found attractive now but it was harder when you couldn't see who you were rating. They did however grill Bella on if she found anyone attractive. They made her write down a list of everyone she liked and describe them to the boys. Her list went a little something like this.

>Remus Lupin: TALL, brown hair, has that sexy scar thing going on, werewolf(maybe), wears sweaters religiously, swears A LOT, loves chocolate, adorable personality, friends with James + Sirius (might be a dealbreaker), his voice when he's mad goes kinda Scottish (you know how much I love Scottish accents), he's strong as hell (probably cause he's a werewolf but I don't know for sure), kind of an asshole, Ares (kinda) met him so he can probably back up my description, cutest dimples, charming smile, he has the best laugh, makes me incredibly nervous

>Lily Evans: she's basically Jolene from that Dolly Parton song (gorgeous, redhead, green eyes, yada yada yada), James's crush (oops), when she gets mad she gets MAD, kinda scary, really sweet, she's a prefect, knows how to put people in their place, really smart, loves gossip

>Scott Jordan: major hottie, super funny, he's the quidditch announcer (Mcgonagall realizes her mistake of appointing him, he abuses his power but he makes quidditch matches fun to go to), nice teeth (like they're perfect I don't know how, he must be genetically blessed)

>Margo Howard: shes just a goddess, incredibly fit, she has the cutest freckle next to her lips, plump lips, long blonde hair, strong jawline, softest voice

>Amos Diggory: major asshole but has his nice moments, mostly just eye candy

>Misha Nokoli: almost went to durmstrang but didn't for some reason, beautiful hair (like perfect) it's brown and longish, blue eyes, very muscular, 6 pax abs (don't ask how I know)

***

The boys knew that they missed Bella and it hurt like hell. What the boys didn't know was that Bella missed them just as much as they missed her. Every time it rained she was caught in the memories of her, Ares, and Apollo dancing in the rain until they either got to tired to move or until one of them got cold. Those were some her favorite memories. Or when she would stay at Asher's cabin in the woods and they would stay up just late enough to watch the stars. The sky was so clear and the air was so crisp, mix that in with the smell of pine and oak wood and you'd have Bella's favorite place on earth. She remembered walking the empty halls of Beauxbatons with Gwaine, swinging their hands back and forth, peppering each other's faces with gentle kisses. Bella remembered going to bed snuggled up with one of the boys, gripping them as hard as she could because she needed support after countless nightmares. She remembered when they would stay up all night just talking and just enjoying each other's company. She remembered singing the boys to sleep after a long day. She remembered crying the first time that Ares called her his little sister and crying even harder when Floria called her the daughter she'd always wanted.

Bella remembered all of the sleepless nights cradling Apollo when he cried himself to sleep thinking about the night he'd been turned into a werewolf. Bella remembered how in the beginning of first year Asher ate as much as he could because he had been starving at home due to his parents lack of money. She remembered those nights when Gwaine stumbled into her room, drunk as hell, with bloody fists and a black eye. She remembered how heartbroken Ares and Apollo were when their father died, how she would catch silent tears running down Ares cheeks. She remembered him finally breaking down after months of him staying strong for Apollo.

She remembered hours of watching Disney movies on the Cardell's couch. She remembered dancing with Asher and Apollo at all of the school's balls. She remembered when she first met them in transfigurations class. She remembered when she broke one of the Adam's plate and she almost burst into tears when they told her it was okay and asked if she was hurt.

She remembered the moment in the end of her first year when she realized that her parents were wrong about muggleborns, and she remembered how soon after that she realized that her family wasn't normal. She remembered the first time her mother used the cruciatus curse on her during the summer before her fourth year, it was when she was caught sneaking back in after a night out with the boys.

She remembered how her love of baking was formed through making pastries with Esmée and Jacques. She remembered in first year when some of the older girls humiliated her and she was the laughing stock of the school for weeks. She remembered how people would go out of their way to make sure that any schoolwork she got done would be ruined. She remembered moving into Asher and Apollo's room because the girls in her dorm were awful. She remembered Ares and Gwaine beating up any guy that would mess with her.

She remembered in her third year when she, Asher, and Apollo suddenly got popular out of nowhere. She remembered Floria and Zeus teaching her and the boys everything that they would learn in a muggle school. She remembered her first kiss, it was with a girl named Vivian and it was awkward and garlicky. She remembered her first boyfriend Monsieur Delacour. She remembered almost dying multiple times. She remembered her first time with Gwaine. She remembered the first day when she just let go and did something stupid. She remembered becoming an impulsive adrenaline junkie. She remembered going to concerts and absolutely falling in love with any of the music she listened to. She remembered traveling the world with the Adams. She remembered the first day she met James. She remembered the first letter that she received back from Sirius, it was burnt to a crisp and obviously unopened. She remembered hours on hours of training to the perfect pureblood wife. She remembered the beauty pageants that her mother would sign her up for, she remembered how insecure she was as a child.
She remembered the first time she felt beautiful, Asher had looked her in the eyes and told her she was gorgeous, she saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. She remembered playing tag with the boys and having snowball wars. She remembered when she dated Apollo for a week in first year and they didn't talk the entire time. She remembered when she first realized how pretty Gwaine's eyes were. She remembered when she realized that she was in love with Gwaine, and when she first told him, and he said it back. She remembered every single moment she spent with her best friends.

Annabelladonna remembered it all. And all she wanted to do was find herself suddenly in her and the boys room. But you can't find something that isn't lost, and she's not lost, she's just grown up. She's been ripped away from her home and she just has to make due with where she is now. She was doing okay at it so far. She'd been making friends, she even had a boyfriend for a few weeks but that didn't last. She'd developed a huge fucking crush on Remus Lupin. She'd started hanging out with a few Ravenclaw girls that she really liked. She had been to a few Order meetings and made fast friends with the Prewett twins and Frank and Alice Longbottom. She had both of her brothers back.

Bella was doing great.

So why did she feel empty.

1997 words

A/N: sorry if this chapter is a little weird or repetitive I'm sick and honestly I'm kinda out of it. If you liked it leave a vote or a comment, have a nice day.

(Bella's Crushes Character Aesthetics)

[Remus Lupin]

[Lily Evans]

[Scott Jordan]

[Margo Howard]

[Amos Diggory]

[Misha Nokoli]

(Bella's New Friend's Character Aesthetics)
[Frank Longbottom]

[Alice Longbottom]

[Fabian And Gideon Prewett]